Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingachite Nalo Motani Kholo Langa Limene Linachoka Panyumba?

“Pamasiku amene Bambo analonjeza kudzatitenga kuti tikacheze, Amayi ankativeka ine ndi mlongo wanga. Ndiyeno nkukhala kumawayembekezera. Kuyembekezerabe. Maola ambirimbiri akapita. Potsirizira pake, Amayi ankati, ‘Nthaŵi yogona yakwana.’ Tikayamba kulira ndikumati, ‘Adzabwera, iwo adzabwera!’ Ngakhale mmawa wotsatira tikawayembekezerabe, komabe Bambo osawoneka. Nthaŵi zina zinkawonekera kukhala chinthu chanthaŵi zonse m’moyo wathu.”—Anne.a

NGATI, mofanana ndi Anne, inuyo mwakhala mukuwona makolo anu akupatukana, mwinamwake mungamvetsetse chifukwa chake Yehova, Wolinganiza waukwati, amatsutsa chisudzulo mwamphamvu chotero. (Yerekezerani ndi Malaki 2:16.) Chisudzulo chimapweteka aliyense amene chimakhudza—ngakhale pamene kholo lolakwiridwalo liri ndi kuyenerera kwa Malemba kwakusudzula linalo.b

Koma pamene makolo potsirizira pake apatukana, mwinamwake mwa chisudzulo chalamulo, chimenecho moyenerera sichimathetsa mavuto onse amene kupatukana kwawoko kungabweretse pa inu. Ndiiko komwe, inu tsopano mungayang’anizane ndi chitokoso chovuta ichi: kusankhapo kaya ngati mufunikira kusunga unansi ndi kholo limene lachoka panyumba. Meg akukumbukira mmene zimenezo zingakhalire zovuta: “Ndinakhwethemulidwa kwambiri chakuti ndinangosweka malingaliro. Chotero kwanthaŵi yakutiyakuti, ndinathedwa nazo maganizo. Zinali ngati kuti atate ŵanga adamwalira.” Ndipo Mike akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinayamba kuwada bambo ŵanga, ndipo lingalirolo linakhalabe kwanthaŵi yaitali. Pamene ndinkaganiza mmene anasiira mkazi ndi ana anayi, ndikumpatsa thandizo lochepera kwenikweni—anthuni, zinandizunguza maganizo.”

Mangani Maulalo, Musawatentha Ayi

M’chisokonezo ndi kuthedwa nzeru kwa nyengoyi m’moyo wanu, n’kopepuka kwenikweni kutseka chitseko cha chikondi chanu kulinga kwa m’modzi wa makolo anu ndikulola mkwiyo ndi kunyansidwa kudzaza mwa inu. Koma kuwusunga kukhosi mtunduwu wakuipidwa kungaluluze kawonedwe ka moyo. Mkwiyo woterowo ungakutsogolereni kutentha maulalo anu, kuwononga zomangira zanu kwa khololo kufikira zitakhala zosatheka kuzikhazikitsanso.

Baibulo silimatipatsa chiphaso cha chilolezo chosalemekeza makolo athu. (Yerekezerani ndi Luka 18:20.) Akatswiri amavomereza kuti m’zochitika zambiri muyenera kuyesayesa kusunga unansi ndi makolo onse aŵiriwo atapatukana. Katswiri wa nthenda zamaganizo Dr. Robert E. Gould analemba m’magazini a Seventeen kuti kumawawona makolo onse aŵiri mokhazikika kungapeputsedi kusintha kwanu ndi chisudzulocho. Ofufuza Wallerstein ndi Kelly mofananamo anapeza kuti achichepere omwe anapyola m’chisudzulo chamakolo awo mwachipambano, mwachisawawa anali ndi unansi wathithithi ndi makolo onse aŵiriwo. Koma kodi mungayandikane motani ndi kholo limene lachoka m’nyumba mwanu kapena limene lawononga kukhulupirika kwake?c

Kumvetsetsa—Mfungulo Yonkira ku Mtendere

Mkwiyo wanu wachibadwa ungakutsekerezeni poyamba. Koma mutachipanga kukhala chonulirapo chanu kulimvetsetsa bwino kholo lanulo, chidziŵitso chotulukapo chingathandize kuthetsa mkwiyo wanuwo. Monga momwe Miyambo 19:11 imanenera kuti: ‘Kulingalira kwa munthu kuchedwetsa mkwiyo; ulemerero wake uli wakuti akhululuke cholakwa.’ Izi nzosavutadi pamene chisoni kapena kukhululuka kwasonyezedwa ndi wokhala ndi liwongoyo. Kumbukirani kuti, kumvetsetsa lingaliro la kholo lokwiyalo, umunthu wake, ndi zifooko zaumunthu sikumatanthuza kwenikweni kuti mukulungamitsa kholo laliwongolo kapena kuti mukukhala kumbali ya khololo m’vuto lochititsa chisudzulolo; kapenanso sikutanthauza kuti mukupereka kholo limene mumakhala nalolo. Kumangotanthauza kudziŵa lingaliro lenileni la kholo lanulo basi.

Mwachitsanzo, achichepere ambiri amalingalira kuti kholo limene lachoka panyumba limawada iwo—apo phuluzi khololo lingachokereponji? Koma kwenikweni, kupatukanako kunachititsidwa ndi mavuto aukwati, osati inuyo. Kholo lochokalo mwinamwake silinatanthauze kukukanani mwakuchokako—ngakhale kuti mungalingalire mwanjirayo. Monga momwe Dr. Gould ananenera kuti: “M’kuthekera konse, makolo amene anakukondani asanasudzulane adzakukondaninso kwambiri pambuyo pake.”

‘Komano kodi nchifukwa ninji iwo samatichezera konse?’ inu mungafunse motero. Pamene kholo kaŵirikaŵiri lilephera kubwera kudzacheza monga mwamalonjezo, kapena kuwonana nanu kokha mwa apa ndi apo, zingawoneke ngati kuti samafuna kukuwonani. Koma chimenecho sindicho chingakhale chifukwa konse. Nthaŵi zina kholo limadziŵa kuti mkhalidwe wake asanapatukane wachimwira banja kwenikweni. Ngati munakwiitsapo malingaliro a bwenzi lanu, mumadziŵa mmene kumakhalira kovuta kuwonana naye pambuyo pake! Monga momwe Miyambo 18:19 imanenera kuti: “Mbale wochimwiridwa ngwovuta kuposa kulanda mzinda wamalinga amphamvu.”—The Interlinear Hebrew-Aramaic Old Testament.

Chifukwa cha malingaliro a liwongo, kholo lanu mofananamo silingafune kuwonana ndi banja. Kunyada nakonso kungakhale chochititsa. Mwinamwake chingakhale chifukwa chakuti kholo lolakwalo silifuna kuwonana ndi mzake wamuukwati wakaleyo, makamaka ngati pakhala kukwatiranso; kumene kunali “kunyumba” poyambapo tsopano kungawoneke kukhala malo achilendo. Izi ndi zifukwa zinanso zingakupangitse kukhala kovuta kwa kholo lanulo kukuchezerani. Kodi mungachitenji kuti mufeŵetseko zinthu? Pa Aroma 12:18 timaŵerenga kuti: “Ngati nkutheka, monga momwe mukhoza, khalani ndi mtendere ndi aliyense.” (New International Version) Kodi mungachite motani zimenezo?

Choyamba, inu mungafunikire kuchepetsako ziyembekezo zanu. Kuyembekezera nthaŵi ndi chisamaliro cha kholo lanu zowonjezereka kuposa zimene mukupeza pakali pano kudzangokukhwethemulani ndi kukugwiritsani mwala. Mmalo mwake yesani kusangalala ndi nthaŵi yochepa imene mumakhala nawo pamodzi.

‘Komano kodi tingamalankhule za chiyani?’ mungazizwe motero. Nzowona, kuchezaku kungakhale kosasangalatsa poyamba. Koma mwachiwonekere pali zambiri zimene kholo lanu lingafune kudziŵa—ponena za mabwenzi anu, kupita patsogolo kwanu kusukulu, ndi zomwe mumakonda pambuyo pa sukulu. Ndipo pali zambiri zimene mungafunse. Mosakaikira chisudzulo chimasiya mphako lopanda kanthu m’moyo wa kholo lanu, monga momwe chinachitira m’moyo wanu. Chotero khalani monga “munthu wozindikira,” wofotokozedwa pa Miyambo 20:5, yemwe ‘amatunga madzi akuya’ auphungu mwa wina. Funsani mafunso. Dziŵani ponena za nyumba kapena ntchito yatsopano ya kholo lanu, kapena zikondwerero m’zosangulutsa zawo, maseŵera, ndi mabwenzi. Ndipo ngati simungalake vuto limene kholo lachititsa pa inu, mwinamwake mkupita kwa nthaŵi mungapeze njira yolankhulira zakukhosi kwanu mwamtendere.

Kusunga Kulinganizika Kwanu

Komabe, pali ngozi ya kulingalire kwambiri pa kholo lochokalo. Bambo wa Randy, chidakwa ndi wachiwerewere, anapatuka pabanjalo mobwerezabwereza ndiyeno potsirizira pake nkusudzula amayi ŵa Randy. Ndipo komabe, Randy akukumbukira kuti: “Kaamba ka zifukwa zina zake, ndinakhala nenene kulambira munthu.”

Kulemekeza kopanda pake koteroko sikwachilendo. Mu United States, ana oposa 90 peresenti a makolo osudzulana amakhala ndi Amayi ndikumachezera bambo. Chotero, amayi kaŵikaŵiri amakhala ndi thayo la chisamaliro cha tsiku ndi tsiku cha ana awo—kuphatikizapo kupereka chilango. Ndipo mosasamala kanthu za malipiro ochirikiza amene amaperekedwa, kaimidwe kachuma ka amayi kaŵirikaŵiri kamatsika pambuyo pa chisudzulo; ka bambo nthaŵi zina kangakwere. Chotulukapo ndiichi: Kucheza nawo Bambo kumatanthauza kupatsidwa mphatso ndi kusanguluka! Moyo wokhala ndi Mayi umatanthauza kumachita kuba timakobili ndikumauzidwa zochita ndi zosayenera kuchita. Nzachisoni kunena kuti, achichepere ena asiyadi kholo lawo Lachikristu kotero kuti akakhale ndi kholo losakhulupirira lachuma kwambirilo ndi lolekerera—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 19:4.

Ngati inuyo mwayesedwa kupanga chosankha choterocho, pendani makhalidwe anu. Kumbukirani kuti Mlengi wanu amawona kukhala zamtengo wapatali zimene mukuzifunikira—chitsogozo cha makhalidwe abwino ndi chilangizo. Palibe mphatso iriyonse imene kholo lingapereke limene lidzayambukira umunthu wanuwo ndi mtengo wa moyo wanu mozamadi. Chilango ndicho chizindikiro cha chikondi chopanda mpeni kumphasa.—Onani Miyambo 4:13; 13:24.

Kumbukiraninso kuti, Mlengi wanu ali ndi muyezo umodzi wokha wa cholondola ndi cholakwika, mosasamala kanthu ndi zimene kholo limakulolani kuchita. Tom akuti: “Amayi sanatiletse konse kukawona bambo. Koma Lachisanu lirilonse pamene tinakawachezera, amayi ankati, ‘Tangokumbukirani kuti ndinu Akristu ndikuti Yehova amawona zimene muchita.’ Chimenecho chinandithandiza kuchilikiza zikhulupiriro zanga pamene ndinkachezera bambo.”

Komabe, mosasamala kanthu ndikuyesayesa kumene mungakuchite, simungapeze chivomerezo cha kholo lanu nthaŵi zonse. Malingaliro operekedwa m’nkhani ino angakuthandizeni kutseka mpata wokhala pakati pa inu ndi kholo lanu. Koma ngakhale ngati zoyesayesa zanu zonse zilephera, musataye chiyembekezo. Anthu amasintha. Ndipo mudzakhalabe ndi chikhutiritso chakudziŵa kuti ‘mogwirizana ndi kukhoza kwanu,’ mtendere wasungidwa. Komabe ubwino wakenso, mudzathabe kusangalala ndi kumwetulira kwachivomerezo kwa kholo lanu. Monga momwe Yehova amanenera pa Miyambo 27:11: “Mwananga, khala wanzeru, nukondweretse mtima wanga; kuti ndimuyankhe yemwe anditonza.” Pamene mumamatira ku miyezo ya Mulungu mwachimvero ndi kugwirira ntchito pa kumvetsetsa kwachifundo muunansi wanu ndi makolo anu, iye amakondweretsedwa. Ndipo iye ali Bwenzi ndi Kholo limene simufunikira konse kusiya.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 20]

Nthaŵi zina chimakhala chiyeso kusiya kholo limodzi n’kupita kukathera nthaŵi ndi linalo