Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndiyenera Kukhaliranji Mlezi wa Ana?

“KODI mumakulingalira motani kukhala mlezi wa achimwene ndi achemwali anu aang’ono?” Galamukani! idafunsa funsoli kwa achichepere angapo. Mosakaikira mayankho anali osiyanasiyana.

“Ndimaŵakonda ana,” anatero msungwana wina wachichepere, “chotero palibe vuto.” Mnyamata wina wachichepere anadzitamadi nati: “Ndimasangalala nalo thayolo!” Komabe, ena anasonyeza kuzengereza kosabisa—kapena kuipidwa. “Ndimaichita chifukwa ndimadziŵa kuti makolo anga amafunikira thandizo,” anafotokoza tero msungwana wachichepere. “Koma sindikondwera nayo.” Msungwana wina anati: “Nthaŵi zina ndimafuna kupita kukapenyerera akanema kapena chinthu china, koma amayi anga amati, ‘Pita ndi mchimwene wako wachichepereyo.’ Ndithudi sindimafuna kutero.”

“Kodi Ndine Woyang’anira Mphwanga?”

Mwana wamwamuna wachisamba wa Adamu, Kaini, anafunsa funsoli mwachipongwe ponena za mbale wake Abele. (Genesis 4:9) Ndipo inunso mungalingalire moipidwa mofananamo mutapemphedwa kuyang’anira ang’ono anu. Kodi nchifukwa ninji nthaŵi yanu yopuma iyenera kuwonongedwera pantchito yosintha mateŵera kapena kusamalira mawondo omyuka? Msungwana wina wa zaka 15 zakubadwa anafotokoza mwaukali nati: “Sindiri kokha wathayo kwa inemwini komanso kaamba ka zimene achimwene ndi achemwali anga amazichita.”

Marna wachichepere ali ndi dandaulo losiyana iri: “Titapita ku paki kapena kwinakwake, nthaŵi zonse ndimafunikira kusamalira makanda ndipo sindimasangalala. Zimandikwiyitsa. . . . Nditawafotokozera [Amayi], iwo amati, ‘Ndiwe mchemwali wamkulu ndipo uyenera kusamalira ana.’ Ndinapsa mtima ndipo ndinawauza kuti, ‘Kulera anga apo ndipo, koma osati anu! Munabala ana ndinu, sindife ayi. Muyenera kuwasamalira.’”—The Private Life of the American Teenager, lolembedwa ndi Norman ndi Harris.

Ang’ono anunso angakhale osakondwa kuti mukuŵayang’anira. Ndipo angamakonde kugalukira zoyesayesa zanu zabwino koposa za kusungirira lamulo ndi dongosolo. “Nthaŵi zina ndimakuda kulera mchimwene ndi mchemwali wanga,” msungwana wina wa zaka zakubadwa 14 anafotokozera Galamukani! motero. “Zinthu zimene iwo amachita! Nthaŵi zina amamenyana, ndipo ndimapita kukawaleretsa, ndipo amandiuza kuti, ‘Kodi muganiza kuti ndinu yani? Sindinu Amayi!’ Sindikanadera nkhaŵa akanakhala osavuta kusamalira.”

‘Chifukwa Ninji Ineyo?’

Pamene gulu lina lalikulu la achichepere linafunsidwa kuti, “Kodi ndintchito ziti zimene muganiza kuti achichepere ayenera kuchita panyumba?” 32 peresenti anatchula ntchito yolera ana! Inde, mathayo olera ana ndi mbali yeniyeni yamoyo wa achichepere amakono. Choyamba nchakuti, ntchito yapanyumba ingakhale yothodwetsa, ntchito yolefula nakubala. Bambo amayang’anizana ndi kutopa kwamasiku onse kwa kugwira ntchito yakuthupi. Anakubala ambirimbiri mofananamo ayenera kugwira ntchito ponse paŵiri panyumba ndi kuntchito yakunja. Iwo kaŵirikaŵiri amatsenderezedwa kumlingo wakutiwakuti.

Mlezi wa ana amatheketsa amayi ndi bambo kupeza mpumulo wofunikira nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Ndipo ngati onse aŵiriwo amagwira ntchito zakunja, mlezi wa ana amatsimikizira kuti ana akuyang’aniridwa moyenera kufikira makolo atabwera kunyumba. Zowonadi, makolo anu angakhoze kulemba munthu wakunja ganyu yolera ana. Koma kodi sakakulingalira kukhala kwachisungiko koposa kudziŵa kuti ana awo aang’ono ali m’manja mwa chiŵalo cha banja chachikondi ndi chodalirika?

Kunena zowona, thayo losamalira ang’ono anu nlamakolo anu kotheratu. (Aefeso 6:4) Koma kuthandiza kwanu monga mlezi wa ana kungathandizire makolo anu kukwaniritsa mathayo awo. Irinso njira ‘yolemekeza atate wako ndi amako.’ (Aefeso 6:2) Kuwonjezerapo, kulera ana nchilangizo chabwino chonkira kuuchikulire. Mkazi wina wachichepere akukumbukira motero kusamalira achimwene ndi mchemwali wake wakhanda pamene amake, kholo lokha, ankagwira ntchito monga wopereka zakudya m’resitilanti: “Masiku onse ndinkawasamalira kufikira Amayi atabwera kunyumba. Iwo akandisiira ndandanda ya zinthu zoti zichitidwe: ‘Yanika zovala, sesa m’nyumba, uyambe kuphika chakudya chamadzulo.’” Ndikatundudi kwa msungwana wachichepere! Koma iye akuti: “Nditazikumbukira zimenezi ndimatsimikizira kuti chidali chinthu chabwino koposa kwa ine m’dziko. Ndinakula mofulumira ndipo ndinakhala wathayo.”

Anthuni, palibe chosakhala chachimuna ponena za kusamalira ana kwa mnyamata. Amuna adatero mobwerezabwereza m’nthaŵi za Baibulo. (Numeri 11:12) Ndipo mtumwi Paulo sanachiwone icho kukhala chonyazitsa kudziyerekezera yekha ndi ‘mlezi.’—1 Atesalonika 2:7.

Kukhala ndi Kapenyedwe Koyenera

Komabe, kudzitheketsa nokha kusangalala ndi kulera ang’ono anu kungafune zochita zina. Kupikisana kumakhalapo pamlingo wakutiwakuti pakati pa achimwene ndi achemwali. Ndipo ngati mumakangana mobwerezabwereza ndi ang’ono anu, kapena ngati mumawalingalira kukhala ana amwano, kungakhale kovuta kwa inu kukhala ndi kapenyedwe koyenera ka kuwasamalira. Chotero, kungakuthandizeni kusinkhasinkha pa maphunziro ophunzitsidwa m’Baibulo.

Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani cholembedwa cha Yosefe wachichepere ndi abale ake. Chifukwa chakuti Yosefe adayanjidwa ndi bambo wake, abale ake “anamuda iye, ndipo sanathe kulankhula ndi iye mwamtendere.” Pamenepo, taganizirani mmene Yosefe analingalirira pamene atate ŵake anati kwa iye: ‘Kodi abale ako sadyetsa zoŵeta m’Sekemu? Tiyeni, ndikutuma iwe kwa iwo. . . . Pita tsopano, nukaone ngati abale ako ali bwino, ndi ngati zoŵeta ziri bwino; nundibwezere ine mawu.’ Nzika zapafupi mosakaikira zikakumbukira kupha kwankhanza kochitidwa ndi abale a Yosefe zaka zoyambirira m’Sekemu. (Genesis 34:25-31) Kukakhala kowopsa kwa Yosefe kupitako! Sizokhazo ayi, komanso abale ake akaipidwa ndi kubwera kwake. Komabe, kaamba ka kusonyeza ulemu kwa atate ŵake ndi chikondi chenicheni kwa abale ake, Yosefe anayankha nati: “Ndine pano!” ndipo anavomereza ntchitoyo.—Genesis 37:4, 13, 14.

Miriamu anali wachichepere wina wochititsa chidwi. Pamene Farao wa ku Igupto anapanga chiŵembu cha kupha makanda Achihebri, Miriamu anathandizira kuchinjiriza Mose mchimwene wake wakhanda. Pamene khandalo lidaikidwa mosungika m’bokosi ndi kuloledwa kuyandama mumtsinje wa Nile, Miriamu sanakankhire pambali tsoka la mbale wake kukhala vuto la makolo ake. Ayi, iye ‘anaima patali, adziŵe chomwe adzamchitira.’ Miriamu anakhozadi kulinganiza kuti amayi ŵake ŵeniŵeni ŵa Mose apatsidwe ntchito yomsamalira!—Eksodo 2:4-10.

Inde, mosiyana ndi Kaini, yemwe anamnyalanyaza mwachipongwe mbale wake, achichepere owopa Mulungu lerolino amakuwona kusamalira ang’ono awo kukhala mwaŵi ndi thayo—ngakhale pamene kuli kovuta kapena kosokoneza. Yohane Woyamba 4:21 akuti: ‘Iye amene akonda Mulungu akondenso mbale wake.’ Ndipo pamene kuli kwakuti ichi chimagwira ntchito choyamba kwa abale athu auzimu, kodi sichikakhalanso chowona kwa awo amene timagaŵana nawo unansi wonse uŵiri wauzimu ndi wakuthupi?a

Kudera nkhaŵa kwanu ndi chikondwerero, chikhumbo chanu chakuwachinjiriza, ndipo koposa zonse, chikondi chanu chopanda mpeni kumphasa kaamba ka ang’ono anu zingachitedi mbali yapadera m’kakulidwe kawo kakuthupi, kamaganizo ndi kauzimu. Chikhalirechobe, kusamalira ana aang’ono kungakhale chitokoso chenicheni, ndipo nkhani yotsatira ili ndi malingaliro operekedwa opindulitsa okuthandizani kulera ana mopindulitsa.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 18]

‘Ndine Wamkulu Kwambiri Wosafunikira Mlezi!’

Pamene Galamukani! inafunsa gulu lina la achichepere kufotokoza za nthaŵi pamene mwana akakhala wamkulu kwambiri wosafunikira mlezi, ena anapereka malingaliro akuti mpazaka “11,” “13,” ndipo modabwitsa kwenikweni, adati ngakhale zaka “7” zakubadwa! Komabe, msungwana wina wachichepere anati: “Sindiganiza kuti pali malire amsinkhu. Ndiganiza kuti nkukula msinkhu m’maganizo. Mungakhale ndi zaka 15 zakubadwa ndipo nkukhalabe wamng’ono kwambiri osakhoza kukhala popanda mlezi.”

Ndithudi, kuwona kwa makolo anu uchikulire wanu kungakhale kosiyana kwambiri ndi kwanu. Ndipo mabanja osiyanasiyana angasankhe kusamalira nkhaniyi mosiyanasiyana. Chotero pamene kuli kwakuti mabwenzi anu ena angadzisamalira nyumba pamene makolo awo apita kukapenyerera akanema, inu mungafunikire kuvutika ndi “manyazi” a kukhala ndi mlezi. Ichi chingakhale chovutadi ngati mleziyo ali mchimwene kapena mchemwali wokulirapo. “Sindinakonde mchimwene wanga kundilera,” anavomereza motero Alisha wachichepere. “Sindinakondwere pamene iye ankandiuza zochita!”

Kombe, makolo anu alidi ndi zikondwerero zanu zabwino. Iwo amaŵerenga m’manyuzipepala za upandu womawonjezereka ndi za kuipsa ana, ndipo ali ndi zifukwa zabwino zokhalira odera nkhaŵa. Kuwonjezerapo, kukhala nokha m’nyumba kungakhale kowopsa kwambiri mosiyana ndi zomwe mukulingalira. “Ndinakhaladi ndi mantha nkukhala ndekha m’nyumba,” anatero msungwana wina. “Chotero ndinasankhapo kuchititsidwa manyazi kuposa ndi kuwopsedwa.”

Kunena zowona, nthaŵi zina makolo amawapeputsa ana awo. Ndipo izi zitakhala tero, mwinamwake mungakambirane ndi makolo anu ndi kuŵatsimikizira kuti mungadzisamalire mutasiidwa nokha. Ngati mubwetukabwetuka kapena kulira, mwinamwake mudzawakhutiritsa kuti simunakulebe. Komabe, ngati mukambirana nawo mfundo zenizeni—mwachitsanzo, mmene mudzasamalirira nthaŵi yanu ndi kuyang’anizana ndi zobuka mwadzidzidzi—mungawapangitse kuwona zinthu m’kapenyedwe kanu. Ngati sitero, mwinamwake chigamulo chovomerezeka, chonga ngati kukakhala panyumba ya bwenzi, chingapangidwe.

Ndithudi, makolo anu angaumirirebe kuti mudzikhala ndi mlezi. Mmalo mopangitsa zinthu kukhala zovuta kwa inumwini ndi mlezi wanu, yesani kumuwona iye monga wopereka ulamuliro wa makolo anu wapakanthaŵi ndipo gwirizanani naye mothekera. Nanga bwanji ngati agwiritsira ntchito mphamvu molakwa pang’ono? (“Mchemwali wanga anandidyerera,” anadandaula motero msungwana wina. “Anandipangitsa kumugwirira ntchito zake.”) Kungakhale kwabwino kwambiri kuyembekezera kufikira makolo anu atadza kunyumba ndipo kambiranani nawo za icho kuposa kulimbana ndi mlezi.