Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndimotani Mmene Ndingakhalire Chitsanzo kwa Ang’ono Anga?

PAUL anadziŵa mmene mchimwene wake wamng’ono anakondera kuwonerera wailesi yakanema. Chotero iye anadabwa tsiku lina pamene anamuwona akuitseka pakati pa programu. Kodi nchifukwa ninji? Mchimwene wa Paul anafotokoza kuti: “Sinali kanema yabwino. Ndinadziŵa kuti inu mukadaitseka, chotero ndinaitseka ndekha.”

Mosachizindikira icho, Paul anakhazikitsira mchimwene wake wamng’ono chitsanzo choti achitsatire—ndipo chinali chabwino. Kodi muli ndi ang’ono anu? Pamenepo zimene mumanena ndi kuchita zingawayambukire mofananamo. Bukhu lakuti Sibling Rivalry, lolembedwa ndi Seymour V. Reit limati: “Chisonkhezero chakutsanzira mchimwene kapena mchemwali wamkulu nchamphamvu modabwitsa ndipo chimatsogolera unyinji wa zochita za wamng’ono. Ana okulirapo ali zitsanzo zachibadwa.”

Chotero, mufune musafune, chifukwa chakuti ndinu wokulirapo ndi wathayopo, achimwene ndi achemwali anu mosakaikira adzayang’ana kwa inu. Iwo angayeseyese kutengera njira imene mumanenera ndi kuchitira zinthu. Nzowona, kukhala chitsanzo nthaŵi zonse kwa ang’ono anu kungawoneke kolemetsa panthaŵi zina.a “Ndine chitsanzo kwa aliyense,” akudandaula motero msungwana wa msinkhu wapakati pa 13 ndi 19 wotchedwa Linda. “Chotero amayi amandiuza kuti nchifukwa chake ndiyenera kuchita bwino kusukulu . . . Ndiridi ndi thayo lokulira mopambanitsa.” Chipsinjocho chingakhale chachikulu makamaka ngati mumakhala m’nyumba ya kholo limodzi. “Ndine kwenikweni atate wawo,” analemba motero mnyamata wina ponena za ang’ono ake.

Komabe, kukhala mchimwene kapena mchemwali wokulirapo kuli ndi maubwino ake. Chifukwa chakuti, kumakulolani kukhala chisonkhezero chabwino m’miyoyo ya ang’ono anu. Tatiyeni tiwone ndimotani.

Panyumba

Mwambi wakale umati: “Nzeru imangitsa nyumba; Luntha liikhazikitsa.” (Miyambo 24:3) Ndithudi, liri kwakukulukulu thayo la makolo anu kuchirikiza banja lanu, kulipanga kukhala malo amtendere ndi chisangalalo. Koma mwakusonyeza nzeru ndi kuzindikira inumwini, mungathandizire mokulira ku chimwemwe cha banja lanu.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi mumatani pamene Amayi kapena Atate akupemphani kukataya zinyalala kapena kusesa m’chipinda chanu? Kodi ndinu wogwirizanika? Womvera? Kapena kodi mumatsutsa kapena kubwezera mawu mopanda ulemu? Ngati nditero, simuyenera kudabwa ngati ang’ono anu nawonso mwamsanga ayamba kubwezera mawu. Chinthu chanzeru ndi chaluntha kuchita ndicho kutsatira mawu a Miyambo 1:8 akuti: ‘Mwananga, tamva mwambo wa atate ŵako, ndi kusasiya chilangizo cha amako.’

Zowona, mungakhale ndichifukwa chomveka chodandaulira. Msungwana wina wa zaka zakubadwa 18 anadandaula kuti: “Sindiganiza kuti amayi amaika thayo lokwanira pa achimwene anga aŵiri. Thayo la chirichonse limagwera ine: ntchito yapanyumba, kupereka zitsanzo, chirichonse.” Mwinamwake iye ali ndi mfundo yabwino. Koma mmalo mopanduka, kodi sikwabwino kukambirana nkhanizo ndi makolo anu mum’khalidwe wachete ndi waulemu? Mungaŵadziŵitse mmene mukulingalira ndi chimene mukuganiza kuti chingawongolere nkhanizo. Mwakulankhulana momasuka ndi mwaufulu ndi makolo anu, simupanga moyo wanu kukhala wabwino kokha komanso mumaphunzitsa ang’ono anu njira yauchikulire yothetsera mikangano.

Komabe, mutakambitsirana zinthuzo ndi makolo anu, kumbukirani kuti, iwo ali ndi chigamulo chotsirizira pa nkhaniyo. Chotero kondwerani ndi chosankha chawo. Mwakutero mudzakhala mukukhazikitsanso chitsanzo chabwino kwa ang’ono anu.

Mikangano yochititsidwa ndi ntchito zapanyumba ingapeŵedwe kaŵirikaŵiri ngati muyamba nokha kuzichita. M’mawu ena, kodi inu nthaŵi zonse mumafunikira kuuzidwa kusasiya zovala zanu ziri mbwe pansi, kapena kodi mumakonza zinthu popanda kukumbutsidwa? Chitsanzo chanu chabwino m’nkhaniyi chingathandize mokulira mchimwene kapena mchemwali wamng’ono kuphunzira kuti aliyense m’banja ayenera kusenza thayo lake ngati zinthu ziti ziyende mwatawatawa.—Yerekezerani ndi Agalatiya 6:5.

Kusukulu

‘Ndimada sukulu.’ ‘Sindiwona chifukwa chimene ndiyenera kupitirako. Sindikuphunzira kalikonse.’ ‘Pamene ndidzangotha kutero, pomwepo ndidzasiya sukulu.’ Kaŵirikaŵiri achichepere amamvedwa akupereka malingaliro oipidwa nayo sukulu oterowo. Kodi ang’ono anu amakumvani mukulankhula motero? Kodi amakuwonani mukulova kusukulu kapena kuthaŵa m’kalasi? Izi zingayambukire mosavuta lingaliro lawo ponena za sukulu.

Kukhazikitsa chitsanzo choyenera kumatanthauza kukulitsa lingaliro lolama, labwino kulinga kusukulu. Ichi sichingakhale chopepuka. Koma kumbukirani kuti: Kugwira ntchito zolimba kusukulu kungakuthandizeni kukula ponse paŵiri mwamaganizo ndi mwauzimu. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, kungakuthandizeni kukulitsa maluso omwe adzakutheketsani kudzichirikiza nokha tsiku lina monga wachikulire. Bukhu lakuti Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work liri ndi chigawo chamutu wakuti “School and Work.”b Icho chiri ndi chidziŵitso chothandiza chimene chingawongolere maganizo anu ponena za kuphunzira.

Lingaliro labwino kulinga kusukulu liri lotsimikizirika kuyambukira achimwene ndi achemwali anu aang’ono. Ndipo mwakukhala ndi chikondwerero chaumwini mu magiredi awo ndi homuweki—kudzipereka kuwathandiza nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi—mungathandize mokulira kuchirikiza kupita patsogolo kwawo m’maphunziro. Koma bwanji ponena za khalidwe lanu pasukulu? Kodi mumachita nawo motani aphunzitsi, aphungu, ndi oyang’anira sukulu? Kodi ndinu wamwano, wotsutsa, kapena kodi mumapereka chitsanzo chabwino mwakusonyeza ulemu kaamba ka ulamuliro wawo?—Yerekezerani ndi Tito 3:1, 2.

Ang’ono anu adzawonanso mtundu wamabwenzi amene inu mumasankha. Ngati muyamba kuyenda ndi gulu “loloŵerera,” mosapita nthaŵi mudzakhala “wokanidwa” ndi Mulungu! Lemba logwidwa mawu kaŵirikaŵiri la 1 Akorinto 15:33 limachenjeza kuti: “Musanyengedwe; mayanjano oipa aipsa makhalidwe okoma.” Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, mungakhazikitse chitsanzo chowopsa kwa ang’ono anu. Wachichepere wina yemwe analeredwa ndi mayi Wachikristu anasankha kunyalanyaza njira za Mulungu nayamba kugwirizana ndi gulu la achichepere ogwiritsira ntchito mankhwala ogodomalitsa. Mosataya nthaŵi nayenso anakhala wogwiritsira ntchito mankhwala ogodomalitsa. Powopera kuti mchimwene wake wamng’ono akatsanzira mapazi ake, iye anamchenjeza kuti: “Iwe usakayambe konse kugwiritsira ntchito mankhwala ogodomalitsa!” Koma zochita zake zinatsimikizira kukhala zosonkhezera kuposa mawu ake, ndipo mosataya nthaŵi mchimwene wake anaphatikana ndi gulu loipa limodzimodzilo. Ndithudi, inu simukafuna chikumbumtima chanu kumavutitsidwa podziŵa kuti mudakhala chophunthwitsa kwa mchimwene kapena mchemwali wanu!—Yerekezerani ndi Mateyu 18:7.

Kupereka Chitsanzo m’Kulambira

Kwa achichepere Achikristu nkofunika koposa kupereka chitsanzo chabwino m’nkhani zokhudza kulambira. Kulama m’maganizo kwanu, mantha aulemu, ndi kulankhula komangirira sikudzangokondweretsa mtima wa Atate wanu wakumwamba koma kungapereke chiyambukiro chosatha pa achimwene ndi achemwali anu aang’ono.—Miyambo 27:11.

Kufotokoza mwafanizo: Kwa achichepere ena pakati pa Mboni za Yehova, kulalikira poyera nkovuta. (Mateyu 24:14; 28:19, 20) Mofanana ndi Yeremiya wa nthaŵi zakale, achichepere ena amangodzimva kukhala osakwanira. (Yerekezerani ndi Yeremiya 1:6.) Ena angachitedi manyazi ponena za kuwonedwa ndi mabwenzi awo pamene akuchita ntchito imeneyi yopulumutsa moyo. Kodi kungakhale kuti ang’ono anu akutsekerezedwa ndi malingaliro osayenera oterowo? Ngati nditero, yesetsani kukhala ndi lingaliro labwino la ntchito yolalikira. Tsimikizirani kumapita mokhazikika m’ntchito yolalikira ndi banja lanu. Pamene ang’ono anu awona kuti mukupeza chimwemwe ndi chikhutiro m’ntchitoyi, iwo angafune kutsanzira chikhulupiriro chanu.—Yerekezerani ndi Ahebri 13:7.

Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani msungwana wina wa msinkhu wapakati pa 13 ndi 19 wotchedwa Crystal. Iye akufotokoza kuti: “Chonulirapo changa ndicho kuthera pafupifupi miyezi iŵiri chaka chirichonse monga mpainiya wothandiza mkati mwa chilimwe.”c Kodi changu chake chakhala ndi chiyambukiro chotani pa mchimwene wake wamng’ono? Crystal akunena kuti: “Mchimwene wanga wazaka zakubadwa 12 wakhala akuthera nthaŵi yochuluka m’ntchito yolalikira kuyambira pamene ndinayamba kutero.”

Misonkhano Yachikristu imakupatsani mwaŵi wina wokhazikitsa chitsanzo chabwino. Kumapezekapo mokhazikika nchiyeneretso Chamalemba. (Ahebri 10:24, 25) Bwanji osaphunzitsa ang’ono anu mmene angakhalire olinganizika ndi okhazikika kotero kuti angachite ntchito yawo yakusukulu nthaŵi idakalipo ndi kupezekabe kumisonkhano? Iwo angaphunzirenso kusangalala ndi misonkhano koposa ngati awona kuti nthaŵi zonse mukhala wokonzekera bwino lomwe ndi kuyesayesa kutengamo mbali.

Kukwaniritsa ziyeneretso za Mulungu sikokhweka. Koma Mulungu amafuna kuti achichepere Achikristu onse ‘akhale chitsanzo . . . m’mawu, m’mayendedwe, m’chikondi, m’chikhulupiriro, m’kuyera mtima’ kaya ali ndi ang’ono awo kapena ayi. (1 Timoteo 4:12) Kodi nchifukwa ninji osayambira panyumba? Kuchita kwanu motero kungapangitse kusintha—m’miyoyo ya ang’ono anu ndiponso m’moyo wanu!

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 18]

Njira imene mumachitira ndi makolo anu ingayambukire mmene ang’ono anu adzawachitira