Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Sindimayenererana Nawo?

“Chinali chopinga chovuta koposa zonse zimene ndinayang’anizana nazo.”—Craig.

“Ndinali wosungulumwa kwabasi.”—Jessica.

“Ndinali wogwiritsidwa mwala kwambiri.”—Chris.

“Zinandikwiitsa ndi kundiputa. Ndinalira kwadzawoneni.”—Sommar.

“Ndinasiidwa wosokonezeka ndi wovulazidwadi maganizo.”—Erin.

KODI amenewo ndimawu ofotokoza ngozi yowopsa? Ayi, anthu ameneŵa analankhula za malingaliro opweteka omwe anavutika nawo chifukwa sanayenererane ndi amsinkhu wawo pamene anali achichepere. Ndipo ngati munatulutsidwa m’kagulu kapena kupeŵedwa ndi achichepere amene munakhumba kuti akhale mabwenzi anu, mudziŵa mmene chokumana nacho chotero chimakhalira choŵaŵitsa mtima.

Ndithudi, kuli kwachibadwa kufuna kuyenererana ndi amsinkhu wanu. Asayansi yazamakhalidwe amalongosola anthu monga okonda kukhala m’kagulu; mwachibadwa timayedzamira kukudziika m’kagulu. Chisonkhezero chimenechi chimakhala champhamvu kwambiri pamene muli wachichepere. Micalah wazaka 14 zakubadwa anati: “Timadzimva osungika ndi olandiridwa pamene tiri pakati pa anthu okhala ndi zofuna zimodzimodzizo zonga zathu.” Zofuna za onse zoterozo zingaphatikizepo kusangalala ndi maseŵera amodzimodziwo, chakudya, zochitika kusukulu, zovala, kapena nyimbo. Kapena zingakhale ntchito kapena maseŵera okondedwa kapena kusankha zosangulutsa zimene zimagwirizanitsa pamodzi kagulu ka mabwenzi.

Mavuto amabuka pamene maunansi omanga pamodzi kagulu amagwiritsiridwa ntchito monga zodzikhululukira zopanda pake zochititsa kupeŵa achichepere ena. Brendan akukumbukira kuti: “Ngati sunavale nsapato zatenesi zoyenera, sunayenererane nawo. Sunali mbali ya gululo.” Mulimonse momwe zimenezo zingawonekere kukhala zopusa, pamene aliyense ali woyenererana ndipo inu simuli, zingavulazedi maganizo.

Pamene Simuyenera Kuyenererana Nawo

Komabe, dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi ndiiko komwe ndikufunadi kuyenererana ndi kagulu?’ Ngakhale m’nthaŵi Zabaibulo, kaŵirikaŵiri achichepere opulupudza anayesa kuloŵetsa ena m’kagulu kawo ka mabwenzi. “Idza nafe,” iwo akanena mokopa kwa ena. “Udzachita nafe maere.” Koma Baibulo linachenjeza kuti: “Mwananga, usayende nawo m’njira; letsa phazi lako ku mayendedwe awo; pakuti mapazi awo athamangira zoipa.”—Miyambo 1:11-16.

Mofananamo lerolino, mungayesedwe kuyesa kugwirizana ndi kagulu kotchuka. Koma kodi kali ndi achichepere amtundu wotani? Iwo angakhale okonda zokondweretsa, koma kodi amawopa Mulungu? Kodi kuyanjana nawo kukakulitsa unansi wanu ndi Mulungu kapena kuuwononga? “Mayanjano oipa aipsa makhalidwe okoma,” amachenjeza motero 1 Akorinto 15:33.

Dzifunseninso chimene kuyenererana nawo kukakuchititsani kutaikiridwa. ‘Pali chitsenderezo chochuluka chakugonja,’ akutero wachichepere wotchedwa Grace. ‘Pamene ndinali wocheperapo, ndinkachita zinthu zonga kutukwana chifukwa chakuti mabwenzi anga ankanena kuti, “Pitiriza.” Linalidi lingaliro la kusafuna kusiidwa basi.’ Mkonziyo Mary Susan Miller akusimba za wachichepere wina amene anagonja kotero kuti ayenererane ndi anzake. Iye mwadala analola magiredi ake kutsika “kotero kuti asawonekere kukhala wanzerupo koposa anzake a m’kalasi amene iye anafuna kuti akhale mabwenzi ake.”—Childstress!

Ndithudi, palibe cholakwa ndi kupanga zoyesayesa zoyenera zakugwirizana ndi ena. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Akorinto 9:19-23.) Koma pamene kuyenererana kutanthauza kusuta, kumwa anamgoneka kapena zoledzeretsa, kutukwana, kusekerera nthabwala zonyansa, kuphatikizidwa m’kugonana, kapena zofananazo, sikuli bwino ndithu! Kumeneko ndikuchita monkitsa! Ndipo sikuli kuchenjera kulola achichepere ena kulamula tsatanetsatane aliyense wa kavalidwe kanu, kalankhulidwe, kapena kapesedwe.

Ndiponso, Akristu amalamulidwa kusayenererana ndi otalikirana ndi Mulungu. Yesu anati ponena za ophunzira ake: “Dziko lapansi linadana nawo, chifukwa sakhala a dziko lapansi, monga ine sindikhala wa dziko lapansi.” (Yohane 17:14) Kodi sikwabwinopo kuvomerezedwa ndi Mulungu koposa kuvomerezedwa ndi amsinkhu wanu amene samatumikira Mulungu?—Yerekezerani ndi Yakobo 4:4.

Kuyenererana ndi Akristu Anzanu

Koma bwanji ngati inunso muli ndi vuto la kuyenererana ndi Akristu anzanu—achichepere amene ali ndi zikhulupiriro ndi zikhutiro zonga zanu? Mwinamwake pali zifukwa zabwino.

Mwachitsanzo, mungakhale mlendo kumalo ena, ndipo achichepere kumeneko angakhale amanyazi kapena ochita mosamala ndi alendo. Pamene ena ayamba kukudziŵani, mothekera zinthu zidzasintha. Jessica anali ndi chokumana nacho chimenechi pamene banja lake linasamukira kumpingo watsopano wa Mboni za Yehova. Iye akukumbukira kuti: “Aliyense anali waubwenzi ndi wansangala kwa ine, koma kunatengabe pafupifupi chaka kwa ine kulingalira kuti ndinayenererana mwa njira yaumwini. Pokumbukira nthaŵi yapitayo, ndimazindikira tsopano kuti nthaŵi iri yofunika kukulitsa maunansi.” Jessica akuwonjezera kuti kukhala ndi phande m’ntchito yolalikira poyera pamodzi ndi ena mumpingo watsopanowo kunali chithandizo chachikulu chomchititsa kudzimva kukhala chiŵalo cha mpingowo.

Stephen akutchula mbali ina yopangira ubwenzi. Iye akuti: “Kwazaka zambiri ndinanyalanyazidwa chifukwa ndinali wamanyazi. Ndiyeno ndinazindikira kuti ngati ndinafuna mabwenzi, ndinayenera kuchitapo kanthu.” Kodi chotulukapo chinali chotani? Stephen tsopano ali ndi mabwenzi abwino angapo. Inunso mungatero ngati mumapanga kuyesayesa kwina kwake. Mmalo mwa kuyembekezera ena kukudziŵani, yesani kuwadziŵa. Itanirani achichepere ena kunyumba kwanu, kapena funsani makolo anu ngati atsamwali anu atsopanowo angatsagane nanu m’zochitika zabanja. Kumeneku kungakhale kuyamba kwa ubwenzi wachikhalire.

Komabe, pamene ena sakulabadira zoyesayesa zanu, kaŵirikaŵiri kumakhala chifukwa cha kusamvana kwakutikwakuti. Mtumwi Paulo anapeŵedwa ndi Akristu ku Yerusalemu chifukwa cha lingaliro lawo lolakwa lakuti iye anali adakali wozunza Akristu. Kokha zitawongoleredwa nkhanizo ndipamene Paulo analandiridwa ndi mpingo kumeneko. (Machitidwe 9:26-28) Ngati inu mofananamo mwakhala mkhole wa kusamvana kwakutikwakuti—mwinamwake kochititsidwa ndi miseche yovulaza—bwanji osachita zomwe mungathe kuwongolera nkhanizo?a

Komabe, simavuto onse amene ali ndi mayankho osavuta. Nthaŵi zina ngakhale achichepere Achikristu ali ndi liwongo la kupanga timagulu tosayenera ndi la kupeŵa ena mosayenera. Zimenezi zingakhale zovutitsa maganizo kwa amene akupeŵedwayo. Komabe, kuli kothandiza kukumbukira kuti, mofanana ndi inu, amsinkhu wanu ali achichepere ndipo akuyembekezera kukula kwambiri asanakhwime. M’kupita kwanthaŵi iwo angakule mofulumira koposa kusiya mkhalidwe wawo watimagulu. Koma kufikira achicheperewo atasonyeza kaimidwe Kachikristu, inu muchita bwino kusakhala m’gulu lawo.—Wonani 2 Timoteo 2:20, 21.

‘Kukulitsa Mayanjano’

Pakali pano, musalole mkhalidwewo kukukwiitsani. Mungayese kulankhula kwa makolo anu kapena oyang’anira Achikristu ponena za nkhaniyo. Kumbukiraninso kuti Akristu amalamulidwa ‘kulolerana wina ndi mnzake’ ngakhale pamene pali chifukwa chabwino chodandaulira. (Akolose 3:13) Tiffany wachichepere, amene anakanidwa ndi kagulu, akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinapemphera kwa Yehova kaamba ka nyonga kuti ndipirire ndipo ndinayesa kusadera nkhaŵa. Ndinayesanso kusalola malingaliro anga kuvulazidwa kwambiri.”

Baibulo nalonso limalimbikitsa Akristu ‘kukulitsa’ mayanjano awo. (2 Akorinto 6:13) Opendawo Jane Norman ndi Myron Harris akuti ponena za ziŵalo za timagulu: “Iwo akuchepetsa ukulu wa ubwenzi wawo ndi kudzimana iwo eni mpata wakuphunzira mmene anthu osiyana nawo amalingalirira ndi kugwirira ntchito.” Pali ena ambiri—kuphatikizapo achikulire—amene mungakhale nawo monga mabwenzi.

Kuvomereza Zolakwa Zanu

Mungafunikirenso kuvomereza kuthekera kovutitsa maganizo kwakuti mukupatsa anthu zifukwa zenizeni kuti akupeŵeni. Mwachitsanzo, Dana wachichepere anapeza kuti sanayenererane ndi achichepere Achikristu amene anali okhwima mwauzimu. Kodi iwo anali odzikuza? Ayi, iye akuvomera kuti: “Kalankhulidwe kanga ndi kavalidwe zinali zaudziko,” ndiko kuti, zosayenerera Mkristu. Choncho pamene kuli kwakuti ena anali okoma mtima ndi aubwenzi kwa iye, iwo anapeŵa kuyanjana naye.

Dana anapanga masinthidwe. Iye akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinawona kuti ndinafunikira kukhala wamaganizo auzimu mowonjezereka ngati ndinati ndiyenererane nawo.” Kodi mufunikira kupanga masinthidwe ofananawo? Kuteroko sikudzangokupezerani ubwenzi wa achichepere opembedza koma kudzakupezeraninso ubwenzi wa Mulungu mwiniyo.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 27:11.

Mungakhalenso ndi mikhalidwe ina yapadera yaumunthu imene imachititsa anthu kukupeŵani. Wally akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinali ndi chizoloŵezi chakulankhula kwambiri ndi kunena zimene anthu sanali okondwerera kwenikweni. Nditadziŵa mmene zimenezi zinaliri zokwiitsa, ndinawongolera umunthu wanga. Ndiganiza kunandithandiza kuyenererana bwino lomwe ndi ena.” Mwakukambitsirana zinthuzo ndi makolo anu kapena wachikulire wina wodalirika, mungapeze kuti muli ndi zolakwa zofananazo. Mwinamwake zinthu zingawongoleredwe mwa kukhala chabe waubwenzipo kapena mwakulankhula pang’ono ndi kumvetsera mowonjezereka.

Kulephera kuyenererana, ngakhale kuti kungavutitse maganizo, sikwakupha ayi. Khalani okhutira ndi kudziŵa kuti ngati muli ndi umunthu wopembedza ndipo mumaderadi nkhaŵa anthu, simudzasoŵa konse mabwenzi.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 18]

Kusiidwa kumavulaza maganizo