Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Agogo Ŵathu Anadzakhala Nafe?

MUNAZOLOŴERA kukhala ndi chipinda chanuchanu chogona. Tsopano mukukhalamo limodzi ndi mlongo wanu kapena mphwanu. Munali wozoloŵera kuitaniramo mabwenzi anu. Tsopano simungathe chifukwa chakuti ‘amasokosa kwambiri.’ Munali ndi nthaŵi yoseŵera ndi kusanguluka. Tsopano yochuluka ya nthaŵi imeneyo yatengedwa ndi ntchito zapanyumba. Makolo anu anali omasuka ndi osavuta kulankhula nawo. Tsopano ngamtima wapachala, ofulumira kupsa mtima. Inde, agogo ŵanu adza kudzakhala nanu, ndipo zinthu sizirinso monga momwe zinaliri.

Sikuti inu simumakonda agogo ŵanu. Komatu kugwirizana nawo sikungakhale kosavuta nthaŵi zonse. Mumapsa mtima, ndi kunyong’onyedwa pazinthu zazing’onong’ono. Wachichepere wina wotchedwa Victoria ananena motere: “Anthu okalamba ali ndi njira yawoyawo ya kudzisungira. Agogo ŵanga aakazi angandipemphe kuwabweretsera poyedzeka miyendo, komatu chikhalirecho mpando wawo woguguluza uli napo. Kapena pamene ndidza kunyumba ntatopa, ndikumafuna kupuma pang’ono, iwo mmalomwake amangofuna kulankhula nane. Agogo ŵanga aakazi amalankhula pamene tikuyesayesa kuwonerera wailesi yakanema. Pamene awonerera, amamva zonse molakwa, ndipo timafunikira kuwafotokozeranso.”

Ngati mmodzi kapena aŵiri onse a agogo anu akukhala nanu, nkwachiwonekera kuti inu mukuvutika maganizo ndipo muli m’vuto. Komabe, musavutike—banja lanu silikusweka. Likungosinthira chabe kumkhalidwe wovuta. Ndipo mungachite zochuluka kutsimikiziritsa chimwemwe chanu ndi mtendere wamaganizo mwa (1) kuzindikira ndi kusenza mathayo anu a banja ndi (2) kukulitsa ‘kuchitira chifundo’ makolo anu ndi agogo anu.—1 Petro 3:8.

Thayo la Mkristu

Lanulo sindilo banja lokha limene likukumana ndi mkhalidwe umenewu. Mwachitsanzo, mu United States, anthu okalamba ochuluka amalandira mlingo wakutiwakuti wa chithandizo ndi chichirikizo chochokera kwa ana awo amene akula kale; pali achikulire oŵerengeka amene amaikidwa m’malo onga ngati nyumba zosamalirira okalamba.a The Intimate Environment, lolembedwa ndi Arlene S. Skolnick, limati: “Okalamba ambirimbiri amawonana mokhazikika ndi ana awo, iwo amadzawawona kaŵirikaŵiri, ndi kuwathandiza m’nthaŵi zovuta.”

Pamene kuli kwakuti kuli kokha kwachibadwa kuzindikira kukhala wathayo kwa makolo a munthuwe, Akristu amazindikira kuti iwo ali ndi thayo lokulirapodi kwa Mulungu. Mtumwi Paulo anati: “Ngati wamasiye wina ali nawo ana kapena adzukulu, ayambe aphunzire iwo kuchitira ulemu a m’banja lawo, ndi kubwezera akuwabala; pakuti ichi ncholandirika pamaso pa Mulungu. Koma ngati wina sadzisungiratu mbumba yake ya iye yekha, makamaka iwo a m’banja lake, aipa koposa wosakhulupira.” (1 Timoteo 5:4, 8; yerekezerani ndi Marko 7:10-13.) Wonani kuti ana ndi zidzukulu akulamulidwa kusenza thayo la kusamalira makolo a ‘iwo okha.’

Yesu Kristu mwiniyo anapereka chitsanzo pamfundoyi. Ngakhale kuti analinkufa imfa yomvetsa ululu pamtengo wozunzirapo, Yesu anaika pambali nkhaŵa zake napanga makonzedwe akusamaliridwa kwa amake omakalambawo, akumapereka thayolo kwa mbale wakeyo Yohane la kuwasamalira. Ngakhale kuti Yohane anali ndi mathayo ofunika kwambiri monga mtumwi, anamka ndi amake a Yesu kunyumba kwake ‘kuyambira ola lomwelo kumka mtsogolo.’—Yohane 19:26, 27.

Chifukwa cha chimenecho kulemekeza makolo a munthuwe ndiko thayo Lachikristu ndi mwaŵi. (Aefeso 6:2) Kholo silimatayidwa chifukwa chakuti ilo lakalamba kapena lifunikira chisamaliro chapadera. (Miyambo 23:22) Baibulo limatiuzanso kuchitira okalamba ulemu chifukwa cha nzeru yawo ndi chidziŵitso. (Levitiko 19:32; Miyambo 16:31) Eya, Yehova mwiniyo ngwokoma mtima kwa okalamba ndipo amapitirizabe kuwagwiritsira ntchito muutumiki wake!—Yerekezerani ndi Yoweli 2:28; Machitidwe 2:17.

‘Sindinaganize Kuti Kukakhala Kovuta Kwambiri Chotere’

Polingalira zonsezi, mungazindikire bwino kwambiri chifukwa chake makolo anu anaitana agogo anu kudzakhala nanu. Mosakayikira poyamba munayesayesa kukhala otsimikizira, kapena pafupifupi osavutika mtima, kuti zonse zidzayenda bwino. Munadziŵa kuti mukafunikira kupanga masinthidwe—ngakhale kudzimana. Koma panthaŵi yonseyo munali aubwenzi ndi agogo ŵanu, ndipo munalingalira kuti unansi wabwino umenewo ukapitirizabe. Komatu, tsopano popeza adzakhala nanu, mukupeza mkhalidwewo kukhala wovutirapo kwambiri koposa mmene munaulingalirira.

Umenewo ndiwo mkhalidwewo. M’maiko ambiri mibadwo itatu—agogo, makolo, ndi ana—chiri chizoloŵezi kukhalira limodzi. Kusamalira makolo odwala kapena opunduka kuli mbali ya mwambo wawo ndipo sikumalingaliridwa kukhala vuto lalikulu. Koma kumaiko a Kumadzulo, kumene chizoloŵezi chiri chakuti mabanja ali ozoloŵera kukhala m’nyumba zawozawo, kaŵirikaŵiri kupangitsa achikulire kudzakhala limodzi nawo kumalingaliridwa kukhala chidodometso chachikulu. Komabe, dziŵani kuti siinu nokha amene moyo wanu wasinthidwa. Ndithudi, kungakhaledi kuli kwakuti mkhalidwewo ngwovutirapo kwambiri kwa makolo ŵanu ndi agogo ŵanu koposa mmene uliri kwa inu.

Chitsenderezo pa Makolo Anu

Choyamba talingalirani makolo anu. Kodi muganiza kuti mukalingalira motani ngati mukanati muwawone akukalamba ndi kumafooka mwakuthupi, mwamaganizo, ndi mwamalingaliro? Kodi kungakuyambukireni motani ngati anthu amene munali kuwadalira nthaŵi zonse mwapang’onopang’ono afikira kukhala osakhoza kudzisamalira? Kodi chimenecho sichikakhala chokumana nacho chopweteka, ndi choswetsa mtima? Ndiyeno mungathe kuyerekezera bwino lomwe mmene makolo anu amalingalirira powona zimenezi zikuchita kwa makolo awo. Momvekera bwino, panthaŵi zina iwo angawonekere kukhala osakondwa kapena amtima wapachala.

Makolo anu angakhale akupenzanso kuti nthaŵi zonse sikuli kosavuta kugwirizana ndi agogo anu. Kaŵirikaŵiri anthu okalamba amatembenukira kukuchitira ana awo osinkhuka monga ana achichepere. (Mwa mawu ena, simungakhale nokhanu amene akuzaziridwa kuti ‘ukusokosa!’) Achikulire ena ali ndi chikhoterero cha kudandaula ponena za chisamaliro chawo—panthaŵi zina akumaimba mlandu ana owasamalira omwewo kuti akuwanyalanyaza. Ena amakhalanso ndi chizoloŵezi cha kunena malingaliro awo pakuleredwa kwa ana, akumaimba mlandu ana awo osinkhukawo wa kukhala olekerera kwambiri kapena aliuma kwambiri. Makolo anu angakhale akudziŵa bwino lomwe kuti agogo anu sakuyesa kukhala ndi chifuno choipa kapena ankhanza. Koma pokhala atalepa kale zambiri kaamba ka iwo, makolo anu angaipidwe ndi chisulizo chirichonse chochokera kwa iwo. Ndipo pamene asonyeza kumeneku mwanjira imene akuchitira ndi agogo anu mosasonyeza chikondi kapena mosaleza mtima, angadziwone kukhala aliwongo ndi odzipsera mtima.

Makolo anu angakhalenso osakondwa ponena za masinthidwe a njira ya moyo imene anafunikira kuchita. Ndalama zogwiritsiridwa ntchito m’banjamo zingakhale zosakwanira konse. Ngati makolo aŵiri onsewo amagwira ntchito, kufunikira kwa kuwonjezera kupereka chisamaliroko kungawachititse kutopa, ndi kutha mphamvu. Iwo angakakamizidwenso kuchita zinthu popanda njira zoyambirirazo zochezera ndi kusanguluka. Ndiyeno pali vuto la muukwati limene lingachititsidwe ndi zonsezi, makamaka ngati kholo lina lilingalira kuti likukhala ndi phande lonkitsa m’thayo la kupereka chisamaliro.

Mkhalidwe wa Moyo wa Agogo

Mkhalidwewo ungakhale wotsendereza kwambiri kwa agogo anu. Baibulo limatcha ukalamba “masiku oipa.” (Mlaliki 12:1-7) Ndithudi, ndimasiku oipadi, kuwona thanzi la munthuwe likumanyonyosoka. Wonjezerani pa zimenezo chitsenderezo chimenecho cha kukhala mukuikidwa mwadzidzidzi m’malo atsopano. Okalamba ochuluka amakonda malo awoawo ndi kuima paokha. Ndithudi, bukhulo The Intimate Environment limagwira mawu akatswiri ena aŵiri kukhala akunena kuti: “Anthu ambiri okalamba amafuna chikondi ndi chisamaliro kwa ana awo, koma osati kwenikweni chithandizo chawo cha ndalama, nyumba, kapena michitidwe ina yachifundo. Ndithudi, ena amakonda kuchitira zinthu ana awo ndi zidzukulu zawo, koposa kuchitiridwa zinthu.”

Pamenepo, nkovuta kwa agogo anu kutayikiridwa ndi kudzichitira zinthu kwawo—kukakamizidwa kudalira pa amene kale anali kudalira pa iwo. Chotero musadabwe ngati iwo ali ovuta pang’ono kuchita nawo panthaŵi zina. Ndipo pokhala anali ndi nyumba yawoyawo—ndi mtendere ndi bata—kwazaka zambiri, angakupeze kukhala kovuta kukhala pakati pa achichepere ojijirika. Nyimbo zaphokoso ndi kulongolola zingawakwiyitse.

Chinthu chimodzi nchomvekera bwino: Kusinthira kumkhalidwe wina ndiko chitokoso kwa aliyense. Komabe, mabanja ena Achikristu akuyang’anizana ndi zovuta zofananazo ndipo akuthana nazo mwachipambano. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Petro 5:9.) Mfungulo yake njakuti muyeseyese kusonyeza “chipatso cha mzimu” ndi “munthu watsopano” kumlingo waukulu! (Agalatiya 5:22, 23; Aefeso 4:24; Akolose 3:13, 14) Mmalo mwa kukokerana, gwirizanani monga banja. Kope lathu lotsatira lidzasimba njira zina m’zimene zimenezi zingachitidwire.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 23]

Kudzakhala nanu kwa agogo anu kungatanthauze kutayikiridwa ndi kukhala nokha