Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .
Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Makolo Anga Samasonyeza Chikondwerero Chokulirapo mwa Ine?
“Paliponse pamene ndipempha amayi kwamphindi zawo zisanu,” akudandaula motero msungwana wina wazaka 13-19, “iwo nthaŵi zonse amakhala otanganitsidwa kwambiri.”
CHRISTINA anali wazaka 16 zakubadwa—wosakwatiwa ndipo anatenga mimba. Ngakhale kuti anali wachisoni kaamba ka mkhalidwe wake womvetsa chisoniwo, iye analinso wokwiya. “Amayi sanayese konse kundifotokozera zinthu zimenezi,” iye anasisima. “Iwo analibiretu nthaŵi ya kufuna kudziŵa zimene ndinali kuchita.”
Kodi ndimo mmene nthaŵi zina mumalingalilira—kuti makolo anu samakukondwererani? Mungakhale wopanda chikhoterero cha kusonyeza kugwiritsidwa mwala kwanu monga momwe Christina anachitira. Ndipo mumadziŵa kuti kukhala ndi makolo onyalanyaza sindiko chodzikhululukira cha kudzisungira kosayenera. Ngakhale ziri tero, mungamve kukhala wokhumudwa kwambiri ngati akukunyalanyazani. Ngakhale kuti mukuyandikira uchikulire, mungalingalirebe mwamphamvu kuti mufunikira chikondi chamakolo ndi chichirikizo. Kunyalanyazidwa ndi makolo anu kungakupangitseni kulingalira kukhala wonyalanyazidwa. “Paliponse pamene ndipempha amayi kwamphindi zawo zisanu,” akudandaula motero msungwana wina wazaka 13-19, “iwo nthaŵi zonse amakhala otanganitsidwa kwambiri.”
Pamenepo, sikuli kodabwitsa, kuti malinga ndi mafufuzidwe ena, 25 peresenti ya achichepere “amalingalira kuti alibe nthaŵi yokwanira ndi makolo awo.” Wachichepere wina anati: “Ndikufuna kuti mwenzi ndikanayandikana koposerapo ndi makolo anga ndi kuwaululira zakukhosi mowonjezereka.” Ngakhale pamene achichepere ndi makolo ali pamodzi mwakuthupi, iwo angakhale otalikirana mwamalingaliro. Pangasoweke makambitsirano amphamvu.
Chifukwa Chake Amawonekera Kukhala Akukunyalanyazani
Tayerekezerani: Mwayembekezera tsiku lonse lathunthu kuti muuze amanu vuto lanu. Koma mwamsanga atafika panyumba kuchokera kuntchito, amangodziponya pampando ndi kumwerekera ndi nkhani zamadzulo za pa TV. Pamene muyesa kukambitsirana nawo, iwo amangokudulani mwaukali kumati: “Kodi suwona kuti ndikuyesa kupuma?”
Kodi ndilo kholo losasamala, lopanda chikondi? Ayi, sikaŵirikaŵiri kuti makolo amanyalanyaza. Komatu tikukhala ndi moyo mu “nthaŵi zowaŵitsa.” (2 Timoteo 3:1-3) Ndipo makolo anu angadzipeze kukhala ali opsinjika kwambiri koposa ndi kale lonse. Angakhale ovutika maganizo kwambiri, ogwiritsidwa mwala, kapena otopa kotero kuti sangathe kukhaladi ndi nyonga yothera nthaŵi yopindulitsa limodzi nanu. Zimenezi zingakhale makamaka zowona ngati muli m’banja lakholo limodzi. Chotero kusiyapo ngati makolo anu amva mawu achidandaulo kuchokera kwa inu, iwo angaganizire kuti zonse ziri bwino.
Makolo angakhalenso otanganitsidwa ndi nkhawa zina. Ngati atate wanu ali Mkristu wokangalika, angasenze mtolo wolemera wa thayo mumpingo. (Yerekezerani ndi 2 Akorinto 11:28, 29.) Ndipo pamene kuli kwakuti angaŵalankhule mwakamodzikamodzi, amanu angachenjeneketsedwedi ndi mavuto owonjezereka athanzi. Kodi muli ndi abale anu ndi alongo? Pamenepo makolo anu angakhalenso otanganitsidwa kusamalira zosowa zawo.
Ndithudi, makolo ena akulimbana ndi mavuto aakulu onga uchidakwa ndipo ali osakhoza kusamalira zosowa za ana awo. Komabe ena kungakhale kokha sadziŵa mmene angasonyezere chikondwerero mwa ana awo. Ndiiko komwe, ana amaphunzira chikondi kuchokera kwa makolo awo. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Yohane 4:19.) Ndipo mwinamwake makolo anuwo analeredwa ndi makolo amene sanasonyeze chikondwerero mwa iwo.
Kenako pali chenicheni chakuti miyambo ina imanyalanyaza pafupifupi kotheratu zosowa za achichepere. M’mbali zina za Afirika, miyambo imati panthaŵi zachakudya, atate, amayi, ndi ana adzidya paokha paokha. Nchotulukapo chotani? Collin, wachichepere wa ku Afirika wazaka 14 akukumbukira kuti: “Kunali kovuta kumva ndiri woyandikana mwamalingaliro ndi makolo anga. Ndinalingalira kuti ndinali kudzandiradzandira m’moyo ndekhandekha.”
Mbuna Zofunikira Kupewa
Chirichonse chimene chiri chifukwa cha kuwonekera kwa makolo anu kukhala akukunyalanyazani, chingakusiyenibe muli wachisoni kapena wokwiya. Achichepere ena amalabadira mwa kukhala osagwirizanika kapena kukhala osamvera. Ena amasankha kuti kupandukira ndiyo njira yokha yopezera chisamaliro kuzosowa zawo. Koma monga Christina, wotchulidwa kuchiyambiyo, achichepere opandukira kaŵirikaŵiri amadzivulaza kwambiri m’zochitazo. “Kubwerera m’mbuyo kwa achibwana kudzaŵapha,” ikuchenjeza motero Miyambo 1:32.
Kumbali ina, sikumathandiza kungonyalanyaza mkhalidwewo—makamaka ngati ukukuvutitsani maganizo kwambiri. ‘Kodi wadzisonyeza kukhala wolefulidwa m’tsiku latsoka?’ ikufunsa motero Miyambo 24:10. (NW) Ngati ziri choncho, ‘mphamvu yako idzachepa.’ Kuvulala kwamalingaliro kungakhale koŵaŵa kwambiri koposa kupweteka kwa zironda zenizeni. (Miyambo 18:14) Ndipo pamene aloledwa kukula angapitirizebe kubweretsa ululu muuchikulire. Talingalirani za mwamuna wachichepere wotchedwa Johan. “Pamene ndinkakula,” akukumbukira motero Johan, “atate wanga chidakwayo sanali kupezeka pamene ndinkamfuna kopambana.” Iye akuwonjezera kuti: “Anali womwerekera kwambiri m’mavuto a iwo eni kosakhoza kundipatsa chisamaliro chachikulu.” Monga wachikulire, Johan anavutika nthaŵi yaitali ndi chipsinjo ndi malingaliro aliwongo.
Mwachithandizo cha mabwenzi abwino, Johan anali wokhoza kuyamba kukulitsanso ulemu waumwini. Komabe, chokumana nacho chake chimasonyeza kufunika kwa kuyesa kupeza njira zotsimikizirika zolimbanirana ndi mkhalidwe umene mukuyang’anizana nawo panyumba.
Kulitsani Chikondwerero Chawo mwa Inu
Tinene kuti Atate wanu kapena Amanu samayambitsa makambitsirano nanu mwakaŵirikaŵiri. Mungayambe kuthetsa mkhalidwe wachete wosakondweretsawo mwa kusonyeza chikondwerero mwa iwo. (Mateyu 7:12; Afilipi 2:4) Pemphani kutsagana nawo pamene apita kukatenga kanthu kena. Funsani ngati mungaŵathandize mwanjira ina, mwinamwake mwa kulinganiza chakudya kapena mwa kusesa. M’kupita kwanthaŵi mungathe kuyamba kuwauza nkhaŵa zanu, zonga zimene zikuchitika kusukulu.
Komabe, panthaŵi zina, mungakhale ndi mavuto aakulu oti mulankhule. Kungakhale kosakuthandizani kufikira Atate wanu atatambalala pasofa, akupuma pambuyo pa kutopa ndi ntchito. Yesani kupeza ‘nthaŵi yabwino’—pamene iwo moyenerera akupuma ndipo ali mumkhalidwe wokondwa—kulankhula zochitika. (Miyambo 15:23) Iwo mwinamwake adzakhala ofunitsitsadi kwambiri kukhala ndi chikondwerero m’mavuto anu.
Komabe, bwanji ngati makolo anu alephera kulabadira zoyesayesa zanu zabwino kopambana?a Miyambo 15:22 imatikumbutsa kuti “zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.” Inde, mungafunikire kuuza makolo anu (ndithudi, mwanjira yokoma mtima ndi yaluso) kuti mumalingalira kuti sakukusonyezani chikondwerero chokwanira ndi kuti zimenezo zimakupangitsani kukhala wovutika maganizo ndi wosakondedwa. Mwinamwake mungafunikire kokha chiyamikiro chapanthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, kapena mungayamikire kuthandizidwa pahomuweki yanu.
Makolo anu mwinamwake adzadabwa kuwona kuti mumalingalira mwanjira imeneyi. Iwo angafulumire kukutsimikizirani za chikondi chawo ndipo mwinamwake ngakhale kupepesa kaamba ka kukuchititsani kukhala ndi lingaliro lolakwa. Kaŵirikaŵiri makolo adzapanga kuyesayesadi kuti asinthe mwamsanga atauzidwa za vutolo.
Kumbali ina, mwinamwake makambitsirano anu adzavumbula kuti simunamvetsetse. Mwinamwake simunawone chabe zina za njira zosiyanasiyana zimene iwo asonyezera chikondwerero mwa inu. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, kukambitsirana ndiko sitepe lofunika kukuwongolera zinthu pabanja.
Kudzaza Malo Apululu
Bwanji ngati simupezabe chilabadiro chabwino kwa makolo anu? Mwachimvekere, zimenezi zingakhale zopweteka kwambiri. Komabe, pali mipata ina imene iri yokutsegukirani.
Mwachitsanzo, yesayesani kupeza munthu wina—kwenikweni wachikulire kuposa inu—amene angathandizire kudzaza malo apululu osiyidwa ndi makolo anu osasamala. Monga momwe Miyambo imanenera, pali bwenzi limene ‘linabadwira kukuthandiza powoneka tsoka.’ (Miyambo 17:17, NW) Funafunani bwenzi la mtundu umenewo. Koma sankhani uphungu umene mukuvomereza, mukumatsimikizira kuti ngwokukomerani ndi wogwirizana ndi Mawu a Mulungu.
Magwero ena a chithandizo ndi chichirikizo ndiwo mpingo wamomwemo wa Mboni za Yehova. Kumeneko mungapeze abale ndi alongo auzimu, atate ndi amayi amene adzakhala ndi chikondwerero chenicheni mwa inu ndi kukuthandizani kukula mwauzimu ndi mwamaganizo. (Marko 10:30) Collin, wachichepere wa ku Afirika wotchulidwa kuchiyambi, anapeza mabwenzi oterowo. Akumawona kufunika kwa chitsogozo, iye anayamba kufika pamisonkhano ya Mboni za Yehova. Mwamsanga anakhala bwenzi la ziŵalo zampingo zimene zinampangitsa kuwona kukhala wokondedwa ndi wofunika. M’kupita kwanthaŵi makolo ake ndi abale ake nawonso anayamba kufika pamisonkhano Yachikristu.
Mwachiwonekere kwambiri, makolo anu amakusamaliranidi koma afunikira kukhala ozindikira mowonjezereka zosowa zanu. Yambani ndinu, ndipo auzeni chimene zosowazo ziri! Adziŵa ndani? Mwinamwake mudzapeza kuti ali okondwerera mwa inu kwambiri koposa mmene munalingalilira.
Ngati mungakhale ndi mafunso alionse okhudza Baibulo pambuyo poŵerenga magazini ano, chonde khalani aufulu kufikira Mboni za Yehova pa Nyumba Yaufumu yakwanuko, kapena kulembera ofalitsa magazini ano. (Onani patsamba 5.)
[Mawu a M’munsi]
a Makolo olimbana ndi mavuto aakulu onga kumwerekera ndi anamgoneka kapena uchidakwa angafunikire chithandizo cha katswiri asanakhale okhoza kulabadira kuzosowa za ana awo.
[Chithunzi patsamba 31]
Makolo lerolino kaŵirikaŵiri amamva kukhala otsenderezedwa ndi otopa kosakhoza kusamalira mavuto a ana awo