Thandizani Ana Anu Kulaka Kupsinjika Maganizo
“Ana ambiri samapeza wowamvetsera—mwakuthupi kapena mwamalingaliro—pamene akufuna kulankhula.”—Depression—What Families Should Know.
BANJA moyenerera latchedwa chipinda choyesera malingaliro. Ndilo malo ofufuzira kumene mwana amayesera zokhulupirira zake, kuwona zotulukapo, ndi kuyamba kupanga zosankha zotsimikizirika ponena za moyo. Kodi ndimotani mmene makolo angatsimikizirire kuti ana awo akuchita kuyesa kofunika koteroko m’malo abwino osati opsinja maganizo?
Mvetserani
Buku lakuti The Child in Crisis limalimbikitsa makolo kuti: “Pitirizani kukambitsirana ndi mwana wanu.” Kukambitsirana pakati pa kholo ndi mwana nkofunika kwambiri makamaka ngati pakhala chochitika chovutitsa maganizo m’banja. Musaganize konse kuti chifukwa chakuti mwanayo wakhala chete, zonse zili bwino kwa iye kapena kuti akusintha. Iye angangotsekera mkati mwake nkhaŵa namavutikira mumtima, monga momwe anachitira mtsikana wina wa zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri amene anafikira pakunenepa mopambanitsa mwakuwonjezera makilogramu 15 m’miyezi isanu ndi umodzi pambuyo pa kusudzulana kwa makolo ake.
Liwulo “kukambitsirana” limasonyeza kuti pali olankhula aŵiri kapena oposapo. Chifukwa chake, kholo siliyenera kulankhula lokha. Rick ndi Sue anafuna uphungu pamene mnyamata wawo wa zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi anayamba kukhala ndi mwano wosalamulirika panyumba. Atakumana ndi banja lonselo, phunguyo anaona kanthu kena. “Makolowo anali kulingalira kanthu kalikonse mwakuya mopambanitsa, ndi kumalongosola zambiri ndi malongosoledwe aatali,” iye anatero. “Ndiponso, makolowo anali kutenga mbali yonse yakulankhulako, ndipo ndinaona anawo akutaya mtima.” Kuli kwabwino kulola ana kulankhula zakukhosi. (Yerekezerani ndi Yobu 32:20.) Ngati salankhula mavuto ake pamene abuka, mwana adzawasonyeza m’zochitika mtsogolo.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 18:1.
Kukambitsirana kuli kofunika pamene chilango chili chofunikira. Kodi mwanayo amamva bwanji pamene awongoleredwa? Kodi amamvetsetsa chifukwa chake wapatsidwa chilangocho? Mmalo mwakungouza mwana mmene ayenera kulingalirira, dziŵani zimene zili mumtima wake. Kambitsiranani naye kuti athandizidwe kupeza lingaliro loyenera. “Perekani mfundo zamphamvu zimene zidzampangitsa kulingalira mosamalitsa,” akulemba motero Elaine Fantle Shimberg, “koma lolani mwana wanuyo kusinkhasinkhapo.”
Vomerezani Mmene Amamverera
Makolo ena amawononga kukambitsirana ndi mawu onga aŵa: “Leka kulira.” “Suyenera kumva motero.” “Sizoipa kwambiri.” Kuli bwino kwambiri kuvomereza mmene mwana akumverera. “Ndaona kuti kanthu kena kakuchititsa chisoni.” “Ukuoneka kukhala wokwiya kwambiri.” “Ndidziŵa kuti uyenera kukhala wokhumudwa.” Mawu otere adzapitiriza kukambitsirana.
Buku lakuti How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk likupereka ndemanga yoyenera pankhani imeneyi kuti: “Pamene muyesa kuchotsa malingaliro akuipidwa a mwana, ndipamenenso iye alephereratu kuwachotsa. Pamene muvomereza mwaubwino malingaliro ake akuipidwa, kumakhalanso kosavuta kwa achichepere kuwachotsa. Ndiyesa mukhoza kunena zimenezo ngati mufuna kukhala ndi banja labwino, ndipo muyenera kukhala wokonzekera kulolera kumva mawu osonyeza kusakondwa.”—Yerekezerani ndi Mlaliki 7:3.
Dziikeni m’Malo Mwake
“Popeza kuti achikulire ambiri amaona dziko la mwana malinga ndi zimene iwo eniwo amadziŵa,” akulemba motero Mary Susan Miller, “kuli kovuta kwa iwo kulingalira za mtundu wina wa moyo kukhala wopsinjika kusiyapo wa iwo eni.”
Inde, makolo amaiŵala mosavuta zovuta ndi nkhaŵa zimene anali nazo pokula. Chifukwa chake, iwo kaŵirikaŵiri amachepetsa kupsinjika maganizo kwa ana awo. Makolo ayenera kukumbukira mmene anamverera pamene chiŵeto chawo chinafa, pamene bwenzi lawo linamwalira, pamene anasamukira kumalo atsopano. Ayenera kukumbukira mantha awo paubwana, ngakhale osafunikira. Kukumbukira ndiko mfungulo yakukhala wokhoza kudziika m’malo a wina.
Perekani Chitsanzo Chabwino
Mmene mwana wanu amachitira ndi kupsinjika maganizo zimadalira kwakukulukulu pa mmene inuyo monga kholo mumaitengera nkhaniyo. Kodi mumayesa kuchepetsa kupsinjikako mwakugwiritsira ntchito chiwawa? Pamenepo musadabwe pamene mwana wanuyo asonyeza nkhaŵa yake mwanjira yofananayo. Kodi mumangovutikira mumtima pamene mwasokonezedwa kwambiri? Pamenepo kodi mungafune motani kuti mwana wanu adzilankhula zakukhosi ndi kukudalirani? Kodi kupsinjika maganizo kumabisidwa m’banja lanu kwakuti kumakanidwa m’malo mwakuvomerezedwa ndi kuthetsedwa? Pamenepo musadabwe kuwona ziyambukiro zoipa zakuthupi ndi zamalingaliro pa mwana wanu, popeza kuti mchitidwe uliwonse wa kuyesa kukwirira nkhaŵa udzangokulitsa kuipa kwa mchitidwewo.
Kulera ana m’dziko lodzala ndi zopsinja maganizo kumapereka zitokoso zazikulu kwa makolo. Kuphunzira Baibulo kwathandiza ambiri kulaka zitokoso zimenezo. Izi nzimene tingayembekezere, popeza kuti Mlembi wamkulu wa Baibulo ndiyenso Woyambitsa moyo wa banja. “Nzeru ya Mulungu itsimikiziridwa kukhala yolungama ndi zotulukapo zake,” anatero Yesu Kristu. (Mateyu 11:19, The New English Bible) Mwakugwiritsira ntchito malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo, makolo adzaona kuti Malemba ali ‘opindulitsa pa chiphunzitso, chitsutsano, chikonzero, chilangizo cha m’chilungamo.’—2 Timoteo 3:16.
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Kulankhulana kwabwino kumathetsa kupsinjika maganizo
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Mwana ataya mkaka, mkulu wake amseka, koma atate ozindikira amtonthoza