Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Ndikukula Mofulumira Kwambiri?

“Pamene ndinali m’giredi lachisanu ndi chimodzi, ndinali wamtali kuposa aliyense. Zimandichititsa manyazi. Ndinali ndi bwenzi lalifupi kwambiri ndipo ndinali kulikhumbira.”—Annie. “Popeza ndimaoneka ngati wazaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi chimodzi kapena khumi ndi zisanu ndi ziŵiri, anthu ambiri, kuphatikizapo makolo anga, amandiyembekezera kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire.”—Tanya, wazaka 12.

UNAMWALI—ambiri a ife amene tinaupyola mwina tingakonde kuiŵala nyengo yonseyo. Ponse paŵiri uli wabwino kwambiri ndi wowopsa. Paunamwali, thupi lanu limayamba kusintha kwambiri mofulumira, mwadzidzidzi, ndipo, nthaŵi zina, mochititsa manyazi. Mumayamba kukhala ndi malingaliro, zikhoterero, ndi zikhumbo zatsopano. Achichepere ambiri amapeza chitonthozo podziŵa kuti anzawo akukumana ndi zinthu zofananazo. Komabe, kwa achichepere ena unamwali umaoneka kukhala ukuyamba mofulumira kwambiri. Amangoona kuti akunenepa, kutalikirapo, kukulirapo, kuoneka achikulirepo kuposa mabwenzi awo ndi anzawo a m’kalasi.

Ngati zimenezi zakuchitikirani, kungakutonthozeni kudziŵa kuti palibe cholakwika ndi kukula mofulumira. Koloko yachibadwa ya aliyense ili ndi liŵiro lakelake, ndipo yanu mwachionekere imayenda mofulumirirapo kuposa ya amsinkhu wanu. Eya, masinthidwe a paunamwali mwa mnyamata angayambe mofulumira pausinkhu wa zaka khumi, ndipo mwa mtsikana, pausinkhu wa zaka zisanu ndi zitatu. Padzangopita nthaŵi yochepa ndipo mabwenzi anu adzayamba kumasintha mofananamo. Pakali pano mungakhale ndi mavuto ena ofunikira kupirira.

Maubwino ndi Mavuto a Kukhala Wamtali

Mtsikana wina wa zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 anauza mtolankhani wa Galamukani! kuti: “Ndingakonde kukhala wamtali pa onse m’kalasi. Anthu amakulemekeza.” Kufufuza kumasonyeza kuti anyamata osinkhuka mofulumirapo amapeza mapindu apadera oŵerengeka kuposa anzawo osakula kwambiri. Buku la Adolescent Development, lolembedwa ndi Barbara ndi Philip Newman limati: “Anyamata osinkhuka mofulumirapo ali aatali ndi amphamvupo kuposa ausinkhu wawo. . . . Anyamata aatali, amphamvu ali othekera kwambiri kupatsidwa mathayo, kuonedwa monga atsogoleri pa amsinkhu wawo, ndi kuchitiridwa monga ngati ali achikulire m’nzeru ndi kuthupi komwe.”

Komabe, kukhala wamtali kwambiri mofulumirapo kuli ndi kuipa kwake. Cholakwika chimodzi nchakuti mudzakhala chandamale cha njerengo zoipa zosalekeza za anzanu a m’kalasi. Mtsikana wina anauza mtolankhani wa Galamukani! kuti: “Ndinali mtsikana wamtali pa onse m’kalasi. Iwo ananditcha ‘Mtali mwendo.’” Mnyamata wotchedwa Dwayne akukumbukira kuti: “Anzanga anali kundinyoza ndi maina, onga ngati ‘Chumba.’ Nthaŵi zina anali kundifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi mphepo ili bwanji kumwambako? ’ ” a

Zovuta kwambiri ndi nthaŵi pamene ziŵalo zanu zazitali zilephera kugwira ntchito mogwirizana. (Yerekezerani ndi Aefeso 4:16.) “Ndinali wamtali, wowonda, ndi wa thupi losaumbika bwino,” akukumbukira motero Christine ponena za zaka zake za pakati pa 13 ndi 19. “Ndinali mbutuma pamaseŵera,” Dwayne akuwonjezera motero. “Kunachita ngati kuti ubongo wanga unali kutumiza uthenga, ndipo ziŵalo zanga zinali kuulandira patapita mlungu umodzi! Ndimachita zinthu mochedwa.” Khalani otsimikiza kuti nyengo yachilendo imeneyi njachibadwa. Idzatha m’kupita kwa nthaŵi. Mungapezenso kuti “chizoloŵezi cha thupi [chachikatikati] chipindula.” (1 Timoteo 4:8) Pamene mugwiritsira ntchito kwambiri thupi lanu, mudzakhala wotakasuka kwambiri.

Bwanji za kusinjirirana ndi kuchitirana chipongwe? Mungalakelake kubwezera mwakuyankha mwamwano, koma Baibulo limati: “Usayankhe chitsiru monga mwa utsiru wake, kuti ungafanane nacho iwe wekha.” (Miyambo 26:4) Ndiponso, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, ‘kubwezera choipa chosinthana ndi choipa’ kumangowonjezera kuipa kwa mkhalidwewo. (Aroma 12:17) Baibulo limanena kuti pali “mphindi yakuseka.” (Mlaliki 3:4) Kukhala wanthabwala kungakuthandizeni kuchita ndi nyengo yonyazitsa.b

‘Amaganiza Kuti Ndine Wamkulu’

Nthaŵi zina amene amakhala vuto siamsinkhu wanu, koma achikulire amene amaganiza kuti ndinu wamkulu kuposa mmene muliri. Dwayne akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinali kusankhidwa pa gulu monga mkulu, mtsogoleri. Panthaŵi ina ndinali pafupi ndi kagulu ka achichepere, ndipo iwo anayamba kuponya zinthu kuchokera paulalo. Apolisi anadza nayamba kundizazira chifukwa ndinali wamtali pa onse. Koma sindinadziŵe nkomwe zimene zinali kuchitika.”

Panthaŵi zina, mungasangalale pochitiridwa monga wachikulire. Vuto nlakuti, kakulidwe ka thupi kangapose kakulidwe ka maganizo ndi mtima. Mosasamala kanthu za maonekedwe anu, mungaganizebe ndi kusinkhasinkha, osati monga wachikulire, koma monga aliyense wa msinkhu wanu. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Akorinto 13:11.) Chotero pamene anthu afuna kuti muchite zinthu zoyenera kuchitidwa ndi achikulire, kungakhale kovuta kwa inu kuzichita.

Mwina mungafunikire kukumbutsa mofatsa mabwenzi anu ndi a m’banja lanu nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi kuti sindinu wamkulu monga momwe mumaonekera. “Zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo,” pamatero pa Miyambo 15:22. Chotero ngati muganiza kuti makolo anu akufuna zopambanitsa, lankhulani nawo mwaulemu. Magazini ena a azaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 ananena kuti munganene kuti: “Ndikudziŵa zimenezo chifukwa ndimaoneka wachikulire kwambiri, nkosavuta konse kundiyembekezera kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire. Koma mkati mwanga, ndidakali mwana, ndipo nthaŵi zina nkovuta kwa ine kukwaniritsa zonse zimene mumandiyembekezera.”

Musaphonye mwakupereka chithunzi chachiphamaso cha kukhala wachikulire mwakudziveka mawonekedwe, kapena mkhalidwe wauchikulire, kapena kuvala ndi kupesa mwanjira yosayenerana ndi msinkhu wanu. Ndi iko komwe, achichepere ena osinkhuka msanga amasiya ngakhale mabwenzi awo apaubwana ooneka ocheperapo nayesayesa kugwirizana ndi anthu achikulire! Koma amene ayesa kubisa zimene iye alidi pankhaniyi angadzachititsidwe manyazi. (Yerekezerani ndi Salmo 26:4.) M’kupita kwa nthaŵi ena adzaona chinyengo chanu. Chifukwa chake, Baibulo mwanzeru limati “nzeru ili ndi odzichepetsa.” (Miyambo 11:2; Mika 6:8) Munthu wodzichepetsa amadziŵa malire ake.

Kuvutitsidwa ndi Anyamata

Mkhalidwe wodekha ungakutetezereninso ku vuto limene kaŵirikaŵiri limayang’anizana ndi atsikana osinkhuka msanga: kuvutitsidwa ndi anyamata. M’nyengo yaifupi chabe, thupi la mtsikana wamng’ono lingakhale ndi maonekedwe a mkazi wokongola. (Yerekezerani ndi Nyimbo ya Solomo 8:8, 10.) Komabe, kwa atsikana ena, kukhala ndi maŵere ndi matako onga a mkazi wamkulu kungakhale—kochititsa manyazi—kwabasi.

Mlembi Ruth Bell akunena kuti: “Atsikana omakula kwakukulukulu amakhala okopa anyamata kwambiri.” Denise mtsikana wa zaka 12 akufotokoza kuti: “Kuyambira pamene ndinasinkhuka kuthupi anthu amandiyang’ana kwambiri ndikapita kokacheza.” (Changing Bodies, Changing Lives) Anzanu a m’kalasi ochita chidwi anyamata ndi atsikana omwe angayesenso kukugwirani mosayenerera. Mosadabwitsa, buku la Adolescent Development limati: “Akazi osinkhuka msanga amakowama, kuvala masikipa okhuthukira, kapena kukhala amanyazi ndi kudzipatula kuti amsinkhu wawo asaone kusintha kwa kaumbidwe ka thupi lawo.”

Pamene kuli kwakuti simuli wokakamizika kudzibisa m’zovala, kulidi kwanzeru kupeŵa zovala ndi masitayelo a kapesedwe zimene zili zodzutsa chilakolako kapena zokopa chidwi cha ena. Zimenezi zimagwirizana ndi uphungu wa m’Baibulo wa kuvala “ndi manyazi, ndi chidziletso.”—1 Timoteo 2:9.

Pangakhale njira zina zothandiza zimene mungatsatire. Kalelo m’nthaŵi za Baibulo, Rute anayang’anizana ndi kuthekera kwa kuvutitsidwa ndi amuna pamene anapita kukagwira ntchito m’munda wa Boazi. Mokoma mtima Boazi ‘anauza anyamata kusamkhudza.’ Ngakhale nditero, iye anamchenjeza kuti: “Usakakunkha m’munda mwina, . . . koma uumirire adzakazi anga mommuno.” (Rute 2:8, 9) Mofananamo, atsikana ena achichepere akhoza kuyanjana ndi atsikana ena Achikristu amene amaloŵa nawo sukulu imodzimodzi. Iwo amapeŵa kuyenda okha m’malo odziŵika kukhala oipa.

Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, palibe aliyense amene ali ndi kuyenera kwa kukuvutitsani—kaya mwakukukhudzani kapena mwamawu. Ngati mukumana ndi mavuto otero, kambitsiranani ndi makolo anu kapena wachikulire wodalirika. Iwo angakhale ndi malingaliro amene angapereke kapena angafune kuloŵererapo mwanjira inayake.

Ngakhale m’mikhalidwe yabwino koposa, unamwali ndinthaŵi yovuta ya moyo. Kukhala mkulu thupi—kapena mng’ono thupi—kuposa amsinkhu wanu kungachititse nthaŵiyo kuvutirapo. Mulimonse mmene mungachitire, pali zochepa chabe zimene mungachite pa kukula kwanu kwakuthupi. Koma mungalimbikire pakukula kwanu kwauzimu. Ndipo mukatero, mofanana ndi Samueli wachichepere wa m’nthaŵi za Baibulo, ‘mudzakulakula, ndipo Yehova ndi anthu omwe adzakukomerani mtima.’—1 Samueli 2:26.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 21]

Kaŵirikaŵiri achichepere aatali ali chandamale cha njerengo zoipa