Thandizani Mwana Wanu Kulimbana ndi Mavuto Kusukulu

MIKHALIDWE ya dziko yomanyonyotsoka imayambukira tonsefe, kuphatikizapo ana athu. Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo, molondola ananeneratu kuti m’tsiku lathu “[zikafika] nthaŵi zowawitsa” ndi kuti “anthu oipa ndi onyenga [akaipa] chiipire.” (2 Timoteo 3:1-5, 13) Motero, kuphunzira lerolino nkodzaza ndi zovuta pamene ophunzira amalimbana ndi mikhalidwe imene makolo awo sanakumane nayo. Kodi makolo angachitenji kuti athandize ana awo kulimbana nazo?

Chitsenderezo cha Ausinkhu Wawo

Nthaŵi zina ana ambiri amakumana ndi chitsenderezo cha ausinkhu wawo. Wophunzira wina wachichepere wa Chifrenchi akudandaula kuti: “Makolo ndi chitaganya amayesa kuchita zimene angathe, koma nzosakwanira. Opulupudza achichepere amanyengerera achichepere ena. . . . Makolo amene samalamulira ana awo si makolo.”

Makolo athayo amayesayesa kuthandiza ana awo kukulitsa mikhalidwe yauzimu imene imawapatsa nyonga yamkati imene amafunikira kuletsa chitsenderezo chowononga cha ausinkhu wawo. “Timapanga kuyesayesa kwakhama kuthandiza ana athu kukulitsa ulemu waumwini,” akulongosola motero tate wina, “kotero kuti asaone kukhala kofunika kukhala ndi chivomerezo cha ausinkhu wawo. Ngati kukhala ofanana ndi ana ena sikuli kofunika kwa iwo, adzakupeza kukhala kosavuta kukana pamene ayenera kukana.” Pofuna kuphunzitsa ana ake mmene angachitire ndi mikhalidwe yovuta, kholo limeneli limapatula nthaŵi kuti banja lake liyeseze mikhalidwe yeniyeniyo, likumayesezadi mikhalidwe yovuta imene ingabuke ndi kusonyeza njira zolimbanirana nayo. Khalani kholo lochirikiza, ndipo thandizani mwana wanu kukulitsa chidaliro chaumwini.

Kalankhulidwe Koipa

Pamene miyezo ya makhalidwe ikutsika padziko lonse, kalankhulidwe koipa kamakhala kofala. M’maiko ambiri kamamvedwa kaŵirikaŵiri pa nthaŵi imene anthu ochuluka amaonera TV. Motero, mawu otukwana amamveka nthaŵi zonse m’malo oseŵerera a kusukulu, m’malikole, ndi m’makalasi.

Aphunzitsi ena amalungamitsa kutukwana ndi kunyoza kwawo, akumatsutsa kuti ophunzira awo angapange mikhalidwe yawo yamaganizo kulinga ku kalankhulidwe kotero. Koma njira yotero imangochititsa ophunzira kutengera mawu oipa ameneŵa monga mbali ya kalankhulidwe kovomerezedwa ka tsiku ndi tsiku.

Kholo lanzeru limalongosola mokoma mtima chifukwa chake kunena mawu otero sikuloledwa m’banja. Ilo lingaletsenso vuto la kalankhulidwe koipa m’ntchito ya m’kalasi mwa kupenda ndandanda ya zophunziridwa za sukulu kuti adziŵe mabuku amene mwana wake adzaphunzira. Ngati buku lililonse losankhidwa lili ndi mawu oipa kapena limasonyeza zachisembwere, mwinamwake angapemphe mphunzitsi wa mwanayo kusankha buku lina lokhala ndi zamkati zovomerezeka. Kachitidwe kachikatikati kamasonyeza kufatsa.—Afilipi 4:5.

Chisembwere ndi Mankhwala Oledzeretsa

Kufufuza kumavumbula kuti makolo ambiri amavomereza kuti “amachita manyazi kwambiri kapena kudodoma kwambiri kunena nkhani [ya maphunziro a zakugonana] kunyumba.” Mmalomwake, iwo amadalira sukulu kupatsa ana awo chidziŵitso cholongosoka. Koma The Sunday Times ya ku London ikusimba kuti, malinga ndi kunena kwa mphunzitsi wina wachidziŵitso, chiwonjezeko chachikulu cha lerolino cha kukhala ndi pakati kwa azaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 chili “chogwirizanitsidwa kwambiri ndi makhalidwe osati kusadziŵa njira zopeŵera kutenga mimba.” Makolo ali m’malo abwino koposa a kukhazikitsa miyezo ya makhalidwe imene amayembekezera ana awo kuisunga.

Zilinso zofanana ndi kugwiritsira ntchito mankhwala oledzeretsa. Kupanda chitsogozo cha makolo kumapangitsa vuto la kugwiritsira ntchito molakwa mankhwala oledzeretsa kukhala loipa kwambiri. “Pamene moyo wabanja uonekera kwambiri kukhala wosasangalatsa kwa mwana,” ikutero Francoscopie 1993, “ndi pamenenso chikhoterero cha kudzipezera choloŵa m’malo chimakula. Kaŵirikaŵiri [kumwa] mankhwala oledzeretsa kumakhala chimodzi cha zoloŵa m’malozo.” “Nkovuta kukhala kholo,” akuvomereza motero Micheline Chaban-Delmas, prezidenti wa gulu la Toxicomanie et Prévention Jeunesse (Drug Use and the Protection of Youth). “Nthaŵi zonse muyenera kukhala maso; kaŵirikaŵiri mankhwala oledzeretsa amakhala njira yochenjeza makolo kuti chinachake chalakwika. Ngati wachichepere akulingalira kuti amayi kapena atate ake sakusamala, pamene apatsidwa mankhwala oledzeretsa, iwo angaoneke ngati chinsinsi chothetsera mavuto ake.”

Kholo lina la ku Canada likulongosola mmene ilo ndi mkazi wake amasonyezera chikondwerero chenicheni m’maphunziro a mwana wawo wamkazi wa zaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19: “Timapititsa ndi kukatenga Nadine kusukulu pagalimoto. Kaŵirikaŵiri, titangomtenga, pamabuka kukambitsirana kumene kumavumbula mmene tsiku lake linaliri. Ngati tipeza chinthu china chofuna chisamaliro, timakambitsirana naye panthaŵi yomweyo kapena kudzutsa nkhaniyo pachakudya chamadzulo kapena pa kukambitsirana kwa banja.” Nanunso mungasonyeze nkhaŵa yeniyeni ndi chikondi kwa mwana wanu mwa kusunga njira zolankhulirana zili zotseguka.

Kuvutitsa ndi Chiwawa

Kuvutitsa kuli “limodzi la mavuto oipa kwambiri a kusukulu,” akutero Maureen O’Connor mu How to Help Your Child Through School. Iye akunenanso kuti “mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi nsautso yotani imene imafika kwa ovutitsidwawo, iwo kaŵirikaŵiri samafuna kuuza wachikulire kuwopera kutchedwa ‘wamantha.’”

Momvetsa chisoni, aphunzitsi ena amaona kuvutitsa kukhala mkhalidwe wachibadwa. Koma ena ambiri amavomerezana ndi mphunzitsi Pete Stephenson, amene amakhulupirira kuti kuvutitsa kuli “mtundu wa nkhanza” ndipo amagogomezera kuti “kukulola kupitiriza sikumathandiza ovutitsawo.”

Pamenepo, kodi nchiyani chimene mungachite ngati mwana wanu akhala wovutitsidwayo? “Chinjirizo loyamba,” akulemba motero O’Connor, “liyenera kukhala chitaganya cha achikulire mmene [mikholeyo] imakhala.” Kambitsiranani ndi mphunzitsi wachifundo. Zimenezi zidzatsimikizira mwana wanu kuti nonse aŵirinu mumaona mkhalidwe wankhalwe umenewo kukhala wosayenera. Sukulu zambiri zatengera lamulo lomvekera bwino loletsa kuvutitsa, limene aphunzitsi amakambapo poyera m’kalasi.

Natalie anakhala wovutitsidwa chifukwa cha chipembedzo chake. “Popeza kuti ndinali mmodzi wa Mboni za Yehova, ndinali kutukwanidwa, ndipo nthaŵi zina zinthu zanga zinali kung’ambidwa,” iye akusimba motero. Pofuna kuthetsa vutolo, anakambitsirana ndi makolo ake, amene anapereka lingaliro lakuti iye alankhule ndi aphunzitsi ake. Iye anachita zimenezi. “Ndinaimbira foni makolo a anzanga a m’kalasi aŵiri, omwe anali kundivutitsa,” iye anawonjezera motero. “Popeza kuti ndinali wokhoza kulongosola vutolo kwa iwo, zinthu zili bwino kwambiri tsopano. Motero ndinapeza chidaliro ponse paŵiri cha aphunzitsi anga ndi anzanga a m’kalasi ochuluka.”

Nthaŵi zina, makolo amapeza kuti mwana wawo ndiye wovutitsayo, osati wovutitsidwa. Pamenepo, iwo angachite bwino kuyang’ana mosamalitsa pa zimene zimachitika panyumba. “Ana amene mkhalidwe wawo wankhalwe uli wamphamvu kaŵirikaŵiri amachokera ku mabanja kumene makolo samathetsa mikangano kwenikweni,” ikusimba motero The Times ya ku London, ikumawonjezera kuti: “Mkhalidwe wachiwawa umaphunziridwa.”

Chiwawa m’malo ena chafikira kukhala chofala kwambiri. Pamene chipolowe cha ndale chichititsa kuphunzira kukhala pafupifupi kosatheka, ana amene amalemekeza uchete, nthaŵi zina, amakuona kukhala kwanzeru kukhala kunyumba. Koma ngati vuto libuka pamene ali kusukulu, iwo amazemba mochenjera ndi kubwerera kunyumba kufikira bata litabwezeretsedwa.

Kuphunzitsa Koipa

Kulankhulana kwabwino pakati pa mwana wanu ndi aphunzitsi ake kungathandize pamene kuphunzitsa koipa kuchititsa mavuto. “Nthaŵi zonse timalimbikitsa mwana wathu wamkazi kukhala ndi mkhalidwe wabwino wamaganizo kulinga ku maphunziro ake,” akutero okwatirana ena. Koma pamene aphunzitsi alephera kupanga phunziro kukhala lokondweretsa, ana amataya chikondwerero mofulumira. Ngati mwana wanu akukumana ndi zimenezi, bwanji osamlimbikitsa kulankhula ndi mphunzitsiyo mwamseri?

Thandizani ana anu kukonzekera mafunso amene, pamene ayankhidwa, adzakupangitsa kukhala kosavuta ponse paŵiri kumvetsetsa mfundo ya phunzirolo ndi kuphunzira mmene angagwiritsirire ntchito zimene zikuphunzitsidwa. Komabe, zimenezi zokha sizimatsimikizira kuti padzakhala chikondwerero chenicheni ndi chokhalitsa m’phunzirolo. Zambiri zimadalira pa chitsanzo chanu monga makolo. Sonyezani kuti mumasamala mwa kukambitsirana za maphunzirowo ndi mwana wanu, ndipo dziperekeni kuthandiza maprojekiti a kufufuza amene mphunzitsiyo amagaŵira.

Kusukulu, kuli ana amene amachokera ku mabanja osweka, kapena amene amakhala m’mikhalidwe yankhanza ndi yolekerera, ndipo chotero kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala opanda chidaliro chaumwini ndi ulemu waumwini. Iwo amasakanikirana ndi ana amene angakhale ndi mikhalidwe yabwino kwambiri. Makolo ambiri amazindikira kuti afunikira kulimbikira kuthandiza ana awo kulimbana ndi mavuto amene amabuka kusukulu. Koma bwanji ponena za zochita za makolo ndi aphunzitsi? Kodi ndi unansi wotani umene ayenera kukulitsa, ndipo motani?

[Bokosi patsamba 7]

Kodi Mwana Wanu ndi Mkhole wa Kuvutitsidwa?

AKATSWIRI amalangiza makolo kuyang’ana mwana wawo kaamba ka zizindikiro zosonyeza: Kodi amasonyeza kuzengereza kupita kusukulu, kupeŵa anzake akusukulu, kufika kunyumba atasupuka kapena ali ndi zovala zong’ambika?

Limbikitsani mwana wanu kukuuzani zenizeni zimene zinachitika. Zimenezi zidzakuthandizani kudziŵa ngati kuvutitsa kulidi vuto. Ngati ndi choncho, lankhulani ndi mphunzitsi wachifundo. Thandizani mwana wanu kulimbana nako mwa kupereka lingaliro lakuti adzikhala pafupi ndi anzake a m’kalasi odalirika ndi kupeŵa malo ndi zochitika kumene kuvutitsa kungachitikenso. Mwana wanthabwala ndi wodziŵa kuthaŵa mikhalidwe yovuta kaŵirikaŵiri adzakhoza kupeŵa kuvutitsidwa.

Peŵani kukhala wodera nkhaŵa mopambanitsa, ndipo musalimbikitse kubwezera.