Kukhala Kholo Lachipambano Lolera Lokha Ana

“Chinthu chimodzi chimene makolo onse olera ana okha samakhala nacho mokwanira ndicho nthaŵi.”—The Single Parent’s Survival Guide.

“Kusoŵa ndalama kuli vuto lalikulu koposa.”—The London Times.

‘Kusungulumwa kuli choputira chachikulu cha kupsinjika mtima kwa kholo lolera ana lokha.’—Give Us a Break, kufufuza mipata ya kusanguluka kwa makolo olera okha ana.

MAKOLO onse amakhala ndi zitokoso, zosangalatsa, ndi mavuto. Koma makolo olera okha ana amatero popanda mnzawo. Motero, nthaŵi, ndalama, ndi kusungulumwa kaŵirikaŵiri zimakhala zovuta zazikulu kwambiri m’moyo wawo.

Komabe, mulimonse mmene moyo wawo ungakhalire wovuta, makolo olera okha ana angapitirize bwino lomwe ndi moyo wawo wa banja, ndipo ambiri amatero. Zambiri zimadalira pa miyezo imene asankha ndi mmene amaitsatirira mwamphamvu.

Chochititsa chidwi nchakuti, Baibulo linaneneratu kalekale ponena za chipwirikiti cha makhalidwe ndi chitaganya chamakonochi. Onani mmene mtumwi Wachikristu Paulo anachenjezera zimenezi kwa wophunzira wachichepere wina Timoteo. “Koma zindikira ichi,” anachenjeza motero, “kuti masiku otsiriza zidzafika nthaŵi zoŵaŵitsa. Pakuti anthu adzakhala odzikonda okha, . . . osamvera akuwabala, osayamika, osayera mtima, opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe, osayanjanitsika.”—2 Timoteo 3:1-3.

Baibulo silili buku chabe limene linalosera molondola za mikhalidwe ya lerolino. Lili ndi malamulo enieni kwakuti, ngati atsatiridwa, moyo wa banja umayendadi bwino. (2 Timoteo 3:16, 17) Lingalirani mmene ena a ameneŵa angathandizire makolo olera okha ana kulimbana ndi mavuto a nthaŵi, ndalama, ndi kusungulumwa.

Ombolani Nthaŵi

Mulimonse mmene mungakhalire adongosolo, nthaŵi ndi chinthu chovuta kupeza. Kuti mugwiritsire ntchito bwino nthaŵi yanu, choyamba inu mufunikira kudziŵa chimene chimachitika pa iyo. Pamenepo mudzatha kusankha zochitika zimene zili zofunika koposa kwa inu. “Sungani ‘dayale ya nthaŵi,’” gulu lina la makolo olera okha ana likupereka lingaliro limenelo. “Mwanjira imeneyi mukhoza kudziŵa zonse zimene mumachita tsiku lonse kapena mlungu wonse, ndi kuona nthaŵi imene mumagwiritsira ntchito. Ndiyeno, mufunikira kupenda ndi kuona pamene nthaŵi ingasungidwe, kapena kugwiritsiridwa ntchito bwinopo, mwa kusintha zinthu kapena mwa kusachita zinthu zina zake.”

Uphungu wanzeru umenewo umatikumbutsa za nzeru ya Malemba imene malangizo a mtumwiyo ali nayo: “Penyani bwino umo muyendera, si monga opanda nzeru, koma monga anzeru; akuchita machawi, popeza masiku ali oipa.”—Aefeso 5:15, 16.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi kuonerera TV kumakhala chinthu chachikulu pa programu yanu ya tsiku ndi tsiku? Kuchepetsa zimenezi kudzakupatsani nthaŵi yowonjezereka ya kulankhulana ndi ana anu ndi kuchitira zinthu pamodzi. Zimenezo zingakuthandizeni kukulitsa unansi wabwino ndi iwo.

Mwina inu munganene kuti, ‘Ndimayesa kukhala pansi ndi kulankhulana ndi ana anga koma tonse timangokhala duu kwa nthaŵi yaitali.’ Mwinamwake zilidi choncho, komatu musalole zimenezo kukulefulani. Alangizi a makolo olera okha ana akunena kuti ndi bwino kuzindikira malingaliro a ana anu m’makambitsirano a tsiku lililonse, onga ngati mawu amene amanena ponena za mabwenzi awo akusukulu kapena onena za zimene akufuna kuchita. Koma simungathe kuchita zimenezo pamene maganizo anu ali pa TV, si choncho kodi? Ngakhale ngati muinyalanyaza ili yotsegula, kucheukitsidwa nayo kungakulandeni chidziŵitso chofunika kwambiri chonena za zimene zili mumtima mwa ana anu. Chotero patulani nthaŵi yocheza ndi ana anu. Gwirirani pamodzi ntchito za panyumba, ndipo pamene mutero, lankhulani nawo—ndipo mvetserani pamene akulankhula!

Ŵerengani nawonso. Kufufuza kukusonyeza kuti kudziŵa kuŵerenga kwa mwana wa usinkhu wa zaka zisanu kumadzamthandiza kwambiri kupeza chipambano mtsogolo. Chimenechi nchifukwa chinanso chowombolerera nthaŵi ya kuŵerengera pamodzi. Mphindi zingapo musanakagone, kapena kuchiyambiyambi kwa madzulo musanatope kwambiri, ingakhale nthaŵi yowonongedwa bwino.

Khutirani ndi Zofunika

Makolo ambiri olera okha ana amakhala mu msampha woipa wa ndalama. Iwo amafunikira kupeza ndalama zolipirira malo okhala abwinopo, chakudya, ndi zovala. Komano kuchoka panyumba kumka kuntchito kumadzutsa funso la mmene ana adzasamaliridwira moyenerera.

Malo osamalirirako ana ngovuta kupeza nthaŵi zina, ndiponso ali okwera mtengo. Makolo ena olera okha ana amatha kupempha thandizo kwa achibale awo—agogo, adzakhali, ndi amalume. Ena amadalira pa sukulu zamkaka, malo oseŵererako ana, ndi malo ena osamalirirako ana operekedwa ndi owalemba ntchito awo. Ndalama za boma, ngati zilipo, nthaŵi zina sizimakwanira mtengo wofunika wa chisamaliro cha mwana chimenecho. M’maiko ena, makolo olera okha ana okhala ndi makanda angasankhe kusafunafuna ntchito akumakhala panyumba ndi kukhalira moyo pa ndalama zimene boma limapereka.

Pokhala ndi chiŵerengero chomakula cha makolo olera okha ana ofuna kusamaliridwa, nawonso maboma amayembekezera awo amene ali ndi thayo la zimenezo kuchitapo kanthu. Ku Britain zimenezi zachititsa kale mkupiti wa kufunafuna ndi kupeza atate othaŵa panyumba amene amalephera kupereka thandizo la ndalama kwa ana awo. Magulu ochirikiza chisamaliro cha ana amalondalonda atate autambwaliwo kuti awapatse mbali ina ya ndalama zotsala. Ngati anakubala olera okha ana akana kuthandiza maguluwo kupeza atatewo, mwachionekere iwo amataya mwaŵi wa kupeza ndalama zina. “Ku Sweden pafupifupi 40 peresenti ya atambwaliwo amagwidwa kupyolera m’magulu a mainshuwalansi akumaloko, ndipo ku France mabwalo a milandu amapereka malamulo oumiriza kupereka ndalama ndi kulondalonda atambwali,” ikusimba motero The Times ya ku London.

Kaya bwalo lamilandu liloŵererepo kapena ayi, kaya pakhale thandizo la boma kapena ayi, makolo ambiri olera okha ana amapeza njira zodzithandizira kuti akhalebe ndi moyo ndi ndalama zochepa kuposa mmene anali kuchitira. Motani? Mwa kusintha bajeti.

Kuphunzira kusintha bajeti kumafuna luso. Kaŵirikaŵiri zimatanthauza kusintha pa zinthu zimene zili zofunika kulipirira choyamba—mwachitsanzo, kupatula ndalama za nyumba ndi magetsi choyamba, ndiyeno zogulira chakudya, ndiyeno zolipirira ngongole. “Pokhala nazo zakudya ndi zofunda,” anafotokoza motero mtumwi Paulo, “zimenezi zitikwanire.”—1 Timoteo 6:8.

Kodi mwaganizapo zothandizana ndi ena kulipirira mitengo ya zinthu? Kugula chakudya ndi katundu wa m’nyumba m’mitokoma mwa kusonkherana ndi makolo ena kungasungitse ndalama zanu. Mulimonse mmene mumachitira bajeti yanu, kumbukirani kuti mufunikira kukhala pansi ndi kuŵerengera ndalama zanu. (Yerekezerani ndi Luka 14:28.) Bwanji nanga osapempha thandizo la ana anu pokonza bajetiyo? Pamenepo iwo angaone zimenezi kukhala mwaŵi wawo kukuthandizani kutsatira zimenezi. Mwina mungapezenso kuti mukhoza kusunga ndalama zina padera.

Kuti Mupeze Mabwenzi, Khalani Waubwenzi

“Patsani, ndipo kudzapatsidwa kwa inu,” analangiza motero Yesu. “Kudzayesedwa kwa inu ndi muyeso womwewo muyesa nawo inu.” (Luka 6:38) Zimenezi zili chonchonso m’maunansi athu. Chidwi chanu mwa ena chingakubweretsereni mabwenzi. Njira yabwino koposa yogonjetsera kusungulumwa ndiyo kuyamba inuyo kupanga mabwenzi. Mwinamwake mungapeze mabwenzi odalirika amene angasamalire ana anu kotero kuti mukaone ena. Ndipotu, bwanji osaitana mabwenziwo kudzakuchezerani?

Komano pamenepa chenjezo nlofunika. Kumbukirani kuti, “mayanjano oipa aipsa makhalidwe okoma.” (1 Akorinto 15:33) Kusungulumwa kungagonjetsedwe bwino kwambiri pamene mabwenzi amene mwapanga alidi omangirira ndi okhutiritsa.

Kuchita Monga Amayi ndi Atate

Makolo olera okha ana afunikira kukhala zonse ziŵiri amayi ndi atate kwa ana awo—ntchito yovuta kwa munthu. Ndipo musaiŵale kuti, ana amatsanzira munthu. Amaphunzira mmene angakhalire achikulire osamalira thayo mwa kuyang’anitsitsa mmene achikulire amawasamalirira. Pamenepo, zambiri zimadalira pa mtundu wa chitsanzo chimene inu mumapereka kwa ana anu. Pothirira ndemanga pa kupanda atate kwa ziŵerengero zazikulu za anyamata okulira m’zithando zazikulu za m’mizinda ya ku America, The Sunday Times ya ku London ikunena kuti: “Chiwawa ndi chipwirikiti cha chitaganya . . . zimatisonyeza mmene mbadwo wa amuna umachitira pamene ngati theka la iwo akula kukhala anyamata osinkhukirapo osadziŵa mmene mwamuna wachikulire ayenera kukhalira, zimene zingawachititse kukhala odziletsa.”

Pamene ana aleredwa ndi kholo limodzi, thanzi lawo ndi maphunziro awo akusukulu ndipo ngakhale mkhalidwe wawo wa ndalama wamtsogolo ungayambukiridwe moipa, akutero Duncan Dormor mu The Relationship Revolution. Ofufuza ena amatsutsa zofufuzidwa zimenezi. Umphaŵi ndi kumanidwa zinthu m’chitaganya nzimene amaimba mlandu. Komabe, ambiri akuvomerezana ndi kupenda kwa wasayansi ya chikhalidwe cha anthu Charles Murray: “Mwana wokhala ndi amake koma wopanda atate, wokhala pakati pa anakubala opanda atate, amagamula zinthu ndi zimene amaona. Mukhoza kutumiza antchito zothandiza osauka ndi aphunzitsi ndi atsogoleri achipembedzo kukauza mnyamata kuti akadzakula adzakhale atate wabwino kwa ana ake. Komatu iye sadziŵa tanthauzo la zimenezo pokhapokha ngati anaonapo zimenezo.” Inde, anyamata amafuna amayi ndi atate omwe, ndipo chomwechonso asungwana.

Pa Salmo 68:5, Baibulo limafotokoza Yehova Mulungu kukhala “atate wa ana amasiye.” Anakubala amene amayang’ana kwa Mulungu kaamba ka chitsogozo amamuona kukhala chitsanzo chabwino koposa cha ana awo. Atate amene amalera ana awo okha amayamikira thandizo la akazi athayo, aakulu msinkhu. Inde, chimene makolo onse olera okha ana amafunikira ndicho chichirikizo chachikondi. Mwina apa mpamene mungathandize.

[Bokosi patsamba 6]

Atate Amenenso Ali “Amayi”

Amuna amene ali olera okha mabanja ngochepa. Koma pamene maukwati ambiri akutha, amuna owonjezereka akusankha zolera ana ali okha. “Limodzi la mavuto aakulu koposa kwa amuna okhala mu mkhalidwe umenewu limene amakumana nalo ndilo lija la msungwana wosinkhuka,” ikufotokoza motero The Single Parent’s Survival Guide. Manyazi amapangitsa atate ena kupeŵa kukambitsirana nawo nkhani za kugonana. Ena amapempha mkazi wina wachibale wodaliridwa kuti akambitsirane ndi ana awo aakazi. Makolo onse olera okha ana, aamuna ndiponso aakazi, angapindule kwambiri mwa kuŵerenga ndi ana awo buku lakuti Mafunso Achichepere Akufunsa—Mayankho Amene Amathandiza.a Buku limeneli lili ndi zigawo zotchedwa “Kugonana ndi Makhalidwe” ndi “Kupalana Ubwenzi, Chikondi, ndi a Ziŵalo Zosiyana.” Mutu uliwonse umatha ndi mbali ina yotchedwa kuti Mafunso a Kukambitsirana, olinganizidwa kutheketsa kupendanso koyenera ngakhale pankhani zachinsinsi.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Kucheza ndi ana anu kumakulitsa maunansi abwino

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Mulimonse mmene mumachitira bajeti yanu, khalani pansi ndi kuŵerengera ndalama zanu