Kulimbana Nalo Vutolo

KUWONONGEKA kwa khalidwe labwino pa zakugonana kumayamba munthu akali wamng’ono chifukwa cha wailesi yakanema, mabuku, magazini, mafilimu, ndi nyimbo zomwe zimasimba za kugonana. Zimenezi zimalimbikitsa achinyamata kuchita zimene anthu akulu amachita pa zakugonana mtima wawo udakali wanthete. Makolo ena amafika ngakhale pa kukuza vuto la kugonana mwa kulola anyamata ndi atsikana akali aang’ono kukhala pachibwenzi. Mabwenzi amasonkhezera anzawo kukhala ndi zibwenzi, ndipo posakhalitsa achinyamata ambiri amene ali ndi bwenzi lodalirika lachimuna kapena lachikazi amataya kudziletsa nayamba kugonana. “Nzofala kwambiri kuti mtsikana amene amaona ngati kuti makolo ake samkonda . . . amakumbatirana ndi bwenzi lachimuna modzutsa chilakolako pokhulupirira kuti adzapeza chikondi chenicheni,” anatero Luther Baker, profesa wa maphunziro a zabanja.

Achinyamata amakonda kugwiritsira ntchito zaka zawo zaunyamata ngati kuti ili nthaŵi yomaliza ya moyo wawo m’malo mwakuti ikhale nthaŵi yokonzekera zamtsogolo. “Chilakolako chawo chitawadya moyo ndiponso mabwenzi awo atawasonkhezera kukhulupirira kuti chamuna pakugonana ndiyo njira yokhalira mwamuna weniweni, achinyamata ambiri amakhala osusukira kugonana” pazaka zawo zaunyamata, anatero Profesa Baker. Zaka ngati 30 zapita, wolemba mbiri Arnold Toynbee anadandaula ndi mzimu wosakhulupirika umene wakakamizidwa pa achinyamata athu, pakuti iye ankakhulupirira kuti zochitika zakumbuyoku zasonyeza kuti luntha lopanga zinthu la maiko amakono Kumadzulo linakhalako chifukwa chakuti achinyamata amadziletsa kaye kuti ‘asamagonane’ ncholinga choti akhale ndi mpata wosumika maganizo pa maphunziro.

Makolo Omwe Amalimbikitsa Zabwino

Makolo omwe samalola achinyamata kukhala ndi zibwenzi kungoti azisanguluka amaderadi nkhaŵa za thanzi lamtsogolo ndi chimwemwe cha ana awo. Mwa kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino ndiponso kumalankhulana kwabwino, iwo angathandize kwambiri ana awo m’moyo. Zofufuza khalidwe la achinyamata pa zakugonana zimasonyeza kuti “chilimbikitso chimenechi chingathandize ana kusayamba msanga zakugonana,” inatero Journal of Marriage and the Family.

Makolo amene amaphunzitsa ana awo kudziletsa ndi kukhala osamala, zinthu zimawayendera bwino. “Pamene achinyamata ndi makolo awo ali ndi makhalidwe a munthu wosamala, chiŵerengero cha achinyamata okhala ndi ana apathengo chingachepe kwambiri,” zofufuza zina zikuchitira umboni. Zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti makolo ayenera kufulumira kudziloŵetsamo m’zochita za ana—kuyang’anira homuweki yawo; kudziŵa kumene iwo ali ndiponso mabwenzi awo; kuwaikira zolinga zotheka m’maphunziro; ndi kuwaphunzitsa makhalidwe auzimu. Ana okula ndi unansi umenewu wachikondi ndi makolo awo amadziŵerengera ndipo amatha kulamulira chilakolako chawo cha kugonana.

Nzeru yopezeka m’Baibulo ndiyo uphungu wabwino koposa wa makolo ndi ana omwe. M’Israyeli makolo analamulidwa kuphunzitsa ana awo makhalidwe oyenera. Yehova anawafunsa kuti: “Mtundu waukulu wa anthu ndi uti, wakukhala nawo malemba ndi maweruzo olungama, akunga chilamulo ichi chonse ndichiika pamaso panu lerolino?” Anali ‘malemba olungama’ ameneŵa amene iwo anayenera kuwaphunzitsa ana awo mwaubwenzi ndi mwachikondi m’banja. “Muziwaphunzitsa mwachangu kwa ana anu, ndi kuwalankhula awa pokhala pansi m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira, ndi pogona inu pansi, ndi pouka inu.” Ana anawalamula kuti: “Sunga malangizo a atate wako, usasiye malamulo a mako.” Kulankhulana kwaubwenzi ndi kwachikondi kumeneko ndi malangizo a atate ndi mayi zimathandizira kukhala ndi maganizo abwino ponena za moyo ndi kugonana, zimene ‘zimamdikira’ wachinyamata moyo wake wonse.—Deuteronomo 4:8; 6:7; Miyambo 6:20, 22.

Inu achinyamata, nkuwonongeranji mtsogolo mwanu mwa kugonja pa zilakolako za kugonana? Zaka zaunyamata nzoŵerengeka. Muyenera kuzigwiritsira ntchito kukula m’maganizo, kukulitsa kudziletsa, ndi kukula mwauzimu ndi kukhala ndi maganizo abwino ponena za kugonana, kukonzekera zaka zotsatira 50 kapena 60 za moyo wanu. Inu makolo, samalani udindo wanu umene Mulungu anakupatsani, ndipo tetezerani ana anu kuti asapweteke mtima chifukwa cha matenda opatsana mwa kugonana ndi mimba zapathengo. (Mlaliki 11:10) Thandizani ana anu kuona mmene chikondi m’moyo wanu wa tsiku ndi tsiku ndi kulingalira ena zimamangira maunansi achikhalire.

Kukhoza Kulimbana Nalo Vutolo

Musalole mzimu wamakono wotengeka mtima ndi kugonana kuti upotoze njira imene mumaoneramo moyo ndi kukuwonongerani mwaŵi wanu wokhala ndi mtsogolo mokhutiritsa ndi mwachimwemwe. Sinkhasinkhani pa zitsanzo zambiri za maunansi a anthu m’Baibulo. Dziŵani kuti moyo ndi chikondi zimakhalabe zamphamvu ndi zotalikirapo ndithu mutapyola zaka zaunyamata. Pamene munthu alingalira zimenezi mosamalitsa mogwirizana ndi chifuniro cha Mulungu kwa amuna ndi akazi achikristu, ndiye kuti wayala maziko a ukwati wachikondi ndi wokhalitsa wa anthu aŵiri okondana.

Pamene mupenda mabanja a m’Baibulo monga Yakobo ndi Rakele, Boazi ndi Rute, ndipo mnyamata mbusa ndi namwali Msulami, mudzapeza kuti iwo analinso kukondanadi. Komabe, mukaŵerenga bwinobwino Genesis chaputala 28 ndi 29, buku la Rute, ndi Nyimbo ya Solomo, mudzapeza kuti analinso ndi mikhalidwe ina imene inalimbitsa maunansi amenewo.a

Landirani Makonzedwe a Yehova a Moyo

Yehova, Mlengi wa anthu, amamvetsa kugonana kwa anthu ndi chilakolako chawo. Mwachikondi, anatilenga m’chifaniziro chake, osati ndi “majini achiwerewere” ayi, koma ndi mphamvu yoletsa mtima wathu mogwirizana ndi chifuniro chaumulungu. ‘Ichi ndi chifuniro cha Mulungu, . . . kuti mudzipatule kudama; yense wa inu adziŵe kukhala nacho chotengera chake m’chiyeretso ndi ulemu, kosati m’chisiriro cha chilakolako chonyansa, monganso amitundu osadziŵa Mulungu; asapitirireko munthu, nanyenge mbale wake mmenemo.’—1 Atesalonika 4:3-6.

Mboni za Yehova zimasonyeza zimenezi padziko lonse lapansi. Zimalemekeza malamulo apamwamba a Mulungu kwa amuna ndi akazi achikristu. Zimaona amuna aakulu ngati atate, “anyamata ngati abale; akazi aakulu ngati amayi; akazi aang’ono ngati alongo, m’kuyera mtima konse.” (1 Timoteo 5:1, 2) Amenewotu ndiwo malo abwino kwambiri okhalamo anyamata ndi atsikana pamene akukula mpaka atakhwima, popanda kuwapinga chisonkhezero choti azipalana chibwenzi ndi kukwatira msanga kapena kutenga matenda opatsana mwa kugonana! Banja lokangalika lachikristu, limene mpingo wachikristu umalimbitsa, ndiwo malo achisungiko m’dzikoli loyaluka ndi kugonana.

Chifukwa chogwiritsira ntchito mapulinsipulo a Baibulo m’moyo wawo, Akristu achinyamata satengeka mtima ndi kugonana ndipo amapeza chimwemwe mwa kutchera khutu ku uphungu umene Mawu a Mulungu amapereka wakuti: “Kondwera ndi unyamata wako, mnyamata iwe; mtima wako nukasangalale masiku a unyamata wako, nuyende m’njira za mtima wako, ndi monga maso ako aona; koma dziŵitsa kuti Mulungu woona adzanena nawe mlandu wa zonsezi. Chifukwa chake chotsani zopweteka m’mtima mwako, nulekanitse zoipa ndi thupi lako; pakuti ubwana ndi unyamata ngwachabe.”—Mlaliki 11:9, 10.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 10]

Musalole kutengeka mtima ndi kugonana kukuwonongereni mwaŵi wanu wokhala ndi mtsogolo mokhutiritsa ndi mwachimwemwe

[Chithunzi patsamba 9]

Achinyamata omwe amachita zinthu pamodzi ndi makolo awo sangafune okagonana nawo