Kukhalabe Achimwemwe Ana Atachoka

“KWA ambiri a ife,” likuvomereza motero kholo lina, “tsiku lenileni la kuchoka kwa mwana limakhala loŵaŵa mosasamala kanthu kuti tinalikonzekera chotani.” Inde, ngakhale kuti nthaŵi ya kuchoka kwa mwana njosapeŵeka, pamene ifikadi ingakhale yovuta kwambiri. Tate wina anasimba za mmene anamvera atatsazikana ndi mwana wake wamwamuna: “Koyamba m’moyo wanga . . . , ndinangolira basi.”

Kwa makolo ambiri kuchoka kwa ana awo kumasiya bala lalikulu m’moyo wawo. Powasowa tsiku ndi tsiku ana awowo, ena amasungulumwa kwabasi, zikumawapweteka kwambiri ndi kumva kuti atayikidwa kwenikweni. Ndipo si makolo okha omwe angavutike kuti azoloŵere zimenezi. Mwamuna wina ndi mkazi wake, Edward ndi Avril akutikumbutsa kuti: “Ngati padakali ana ena otsala panyumbapo, iwonso amakhudzidwa ndi kutayikidwako.” Kodi iwowa akupereka langizo lotani? “Cheza nawoni ndipo yesetsani kuwamvetsa. Zimenezi zidzawathandiza kuuzoloŵera mkhalidwewo.”

Inde, ndi mmene moyo wakhalira. Ngati muti musamalire ana anu otsalawo—limodzinso ndi ntchito yanu ndi maudindo apanyumba—musalole chisonicho kukumalizani kotheratu. Choncho, tiyeni tione njira zina zimene mungapezere chimwemwe pamene ana anu achoka panyumba.

Sumikani Maganizo pa Zinthu Zabwino

Ndithudi, palibe cholakwa ngati mungafune kulirira kapena kulankhula za chisoni chanu kapena za kusungulumwa kwanu kwa bwenzi lanu lachifundo. Baibulo limati: “Nkhaŵa iŵeramitsa mtima wa munthu; koma mawu abwino aukondweretsa.” (Miyambo 12:25) Nthaŵi zina ena angafune kuona zinthu mwatsopano. Mwachitsanzo, Waldemar ndi mkazi wake Marianne anapereka langizo lakuti: “Musaone monga mwatayikidwa, koma kuti mwakwaniritsa cholinga chanu.” Imeneyo ndiyo njira yabwino yoonera zinthu! “Tili osangalala kuti takhoza kulera anyamata athu nakhala achikulire anzeru,” akutero Rudolf ndi mkazi wake Hilde.

Kodi inuyo mwayesetsa kulera mwana wanu “m’maleredwe ndi chilangizo cha Ambuye”? (Aefeso 6:4) Ngakhale mwatero, nkhaŵa mungakhale nayobe yakuti tsiku lina iwo adzachoka panyumba. Koma kwa awo amene amaphunzitsa ana awo, Baibulo limapereka chitsimikizo chakuti “angakhale atakalamba sadzachokamo.” (Miyambo 22:6) Kodi sizingakhale zokusangalatsani kwambiri pamene muona kuti mwana wanu akuchita zomwe munamphunzitsa? Mtumwi Yohane anati ponena za banja lauzimu: “Ndilibe chimwemwe choposa ichi, chakuti ndimva za ana anga kuti alikuyenda m’choonadi.” (3 Yohane 4) Mwinamwake munganene zofananazo ponena za mwana wanu.

Zoona, si ana onse amene amalabadira chiphunzitso chachikristu. Ngatinso mwana wanu akula koma nalephera kulabadira chiphunzitso chanu, sindiko kuti inuyo mwalephera udindo wanu monga kholo. Musadzisautse ndi maganizo ngati mwachita zonse zotheka kuti mulere mwana wanuyo m’njira yaumulungu. Dziŵani kuti mwana wanuyo pokhala wamkulu tsopano, ali ndi udindo wakewake pamaso pa Mulungu. (Agalatiya 6:5) Khalanibe ndi chiyembekezo chakuti mwina m’kupita kwa nthaŵi adzaganiziranso zosankha zake ndi kuti “muvi” wanuwo ungadzalunjike pa chandamale chake.—Salmo 127:4.

Mudakali Kholobe!

Ngakhale kuti kuchoka kwa mwana kumayambitsa kusintha kwakukulu, sizitanthauza kuti inu mwaŵeruka pantchito yanu yaukholo. Katswiri wina wazamaganizo Howard Halpern anati: “Umakhalabe kholo mpaka tsiku lomwalira, koma kaleredwe kake ndiko kayenera kusintha.”

Baibulo lidanena kalelo kuti ukholo sumatha chifukwa chakuti mwana wakula. Miyambo 23:22 imati: “Tamvera atate wako anakubala, usapeputse amako atakalamba.” Inde, ngakhale pamene makolo “atakalamba” ndipo ana awonso akula, makolo amakhalabe othandiza pamiyoyo ya ana. Komabe nzoona kuti tiyenera kusintha mwa zina ndi zina. Ndipotu ndi maunansi onse amafuna kusintha nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi kuti akhalebe olimba ndi okhutiritsa. Choncho popeza kuti tsopano ana anu akula, yesetsani kumachita nawo monga achikulire. Chosangalatsa nchakuti, zofufuza zimasonyeza kuti unansi wa kholo ndi mwana kaŵirikaŵiri umalimba kwambiri ana atachoka panyumba! Pamene ana ayang’anizana ndi zovuta za dzikoli, kaŵirikaŵiri amayamba kuona makolo awo mwa njira yatsopano. Mwamuna wina wa ku German dzina lake Hartmut anati: “Tsopano makolo anga ndikuwamvetsa bwino ndipo ndikuzindikira chifukwa chake anachita zinthu mmene ankazichitira muja.”

Peŵani Kuloŵerera

Komabe, mungawononge zambiri ngati muloŵerera pamoyo wa mwana wanu wamkulu. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Timoteo 5:13.) Mkazi wina wokwatiwa yemwe akusiyana maganizo kwambiri ndi apongozi ake anadandaula kuti: “Ifetu timawakonda iwo, koma kungoti timafuna kukhala ndi ufulu pamoyo wathu ndi kuti tizidzipangira tokha zosankha.” Ndithudi, palibe kholo lachikondi limene lingangopenyerera pamene mwana wake wamkulu akuloŵa m’tsoka. Koma kaŵirikaŵiri ndi bwino kwambiri kupeŵa kupereka langizo ngati sanakupempheni, mosasamala kanthu zakuti nlanzeru motani kapena nlabwino motani. Tikayenera kusamala zimenezi makamaka mwana akakwatira kapena kukwatiwa.

M’mbuyomu m’chaka cha 1983, Galamukani! inalangiza kuti: “Tangovomerezani kusintha kwa udindo wanu. Tsopano simulinso mlezi. Choncho, muyenera tsopano kusinthanitsa ntchito ya kulera kuti mukhale phungu. Kupangira mwana wanu zosankha panthaŵiyi kungakhale kosayenera mofanana ndi kumlera m’manja kapena kumyamwitsa. Pokhala phungu, mumakhala ndi malire. Ulamuliro wanu uja wa ukholo sungagwirenso ntchito tsopano. (Simunganenenso kuti ‘ingochita zimene ndakuuzazo.’) Mukayenera kulemekeza mwana wanu monga munthu wamkulu.”a

Mwina simungavomereze zosankha zonse zimene mwana wanu angazipange limodzi ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wake. Koma kuchitira ulemu kupatulika kwa ukwati kungakuthandizeni kuchepetsa nkhaŵa yanu ndi kupeŵa kuloŵerera mosafunikira. Choonadi nchakuti, ndi bwino nthaŵi zonse kulola ana anuwo kuthetsa mavuto awo eni okha. Mukapanda kutero, muzingobutsa mikangano yosafunikira pamene mupereka uphungu wosapemphedwa kwa mpongozi wanu amene angakhale wonyanyuka panthaŵi imene zinthu sizili bwino mu ukwati wawo. Nkhani ya mu Galamukani! taitchulayo ikupitiriza kulangiza kuti: “Kanizani mtima wofuna kumangopereka malingaliro chosapemphedwa, chifukwa zingakuikeni paudani ndi mpongozi wanu.” Khalani wowachirikiza—osati wowalamulira. Mukakhala ndi unansi wabwino, kumakhala kosavuta kwa mwana wanu kukufikirani pamene afunadi uphungu.

Konzaninso Mwatsopano Chikondi cha mu Ukwati Wanu

Kwa amuna ambiri ndi akazi awo, kusakhala ndi ana panyumba kungaperekenso mpata wa kukulitsa chimwemwe mu ukwati wawo. Kulera ana kopambana kungatenge nthaŵi yonse ndi khama la mwamuna ndi mkazi wake kwakuti iwo amaiŵala za unasi wawo weniweniwo. Mkazi wina anati: “Poti tsopano ana anachoka, Ine ndi amuna anga a Konrad tayambiranso kudziŵana mwatsopano.”

Pakuti mwamasuka paudindo wosamalira ana tsiku ndi tsiku, tsopano mungamawononge nthaŵi yochuluka limodzi. Kholo lina linati: “Nthaŵi yomasuka imene takhala nayoyi tsopano . . . imatilola kusumika maganizo pa kumvetsana bwino, kufuna kudziŵa zochuluka ponena za unansi wathu, ndi kuyamba kuchita zinthu zokwaniritsa zosoŵa zathu.” Iye anawonjezera kuti: “Ndi nthaŵi ya kuyambiranso kuphunzira ndi kukula mofulumira, ndipo ngakhale kuti nthaŵizo zingakhale zovutitsa, zimakhalanso zosangalatsa.”

Amuna ena ndi akazi awo tsopano amapezako ndalama zochulukirapo. Zokonda zawo ndi ntchito zina zimene analephera kuchita tsopano angazichite. Pakati pa Mboni za Yehova, amuna ena ndi akazi awo amagwiritsira ntchito ufulu wawowo pazinthu zauzimu. Tate wina dzina lake Hermann anafotokoza kuti ana ake atachoka panyumba, iye ndi mkazi wake anaganiza zoyambiranso utumiki wawo wanthaŵi zonse.

Pamene Makolo Opanda Mnzawo wa m’Banja Alola Ana Kupita

Kuzoloŵera kukhala popanda ana kungakhale kovuta makamaka kwa makolo opanda mnzawo wa m’banja. Rabecca, mayi wa ana aŵiri, anafotokoza kuti: “Pamene ana athu achoka panyumba, tilibe mwamuna woti nkumakhala nafe ndi kutikonda.” Kholo lopanda mnzake wa m’banja lingaone ana ake kukhala chichirikizo chake. Ndipo ngati iwo anali kuthandiza pandalama zapanyumba, kuchoka kwawo kungadzetsenso vuto la zachuma.

Ena apeza thandizo la zachuma mwa kuloŵa ntchito zophunzirira pantchito kapena makosi ena aafupi. Koma kodi ena amathana nako motani kusungulumwa? Kholo lina lopanda m’nzake wa m’banja linati: “Chimene chimandithandiza ndicho kukhala ndi zochita. Mwina kuŵerenga Baibulo, kuyeretsa panyumba, kapena kungokawongola miyendo kapena kukathamanga. Koma njira yondithandiza kwambiri pamene ndisungulumwa ndiyo kulankhula kwa bwenzi lauzimu.” Inde, khalani ‘okulitsidwa’ m’mayanjano ndipo pezani mabwenzi atsopano ndi okhutiritsa. (2 Akorinto 6:13) Musaleke ‘kupembedzera ndi kupemphera’ pamene musungulumwa. (1 Timoteo 5:5) Khalani otsimikiza kuti Yehova adzakupatsani nyonga ndi kukuchirikizani m’nthaŵi yovuta ya kusinthaku.

Khalanibe Achimwemwe ndi Kuwalola Apite

Mulimonse mmene zinthu zingakhalire, zindikirani kuti moyo sumathera pamene ana achoka panyumba. Chibalenso sichimatha ayi. Chikondi chenicheni chofotokozedwa m’Baibulo nchamphamvu moti chikhoza kugwirizanitsa anthu, ngakhale atatalikirana. Mtumwi Paulo akutikumbutsa kuti chikondi “chipirira zinthu zonse. Chikondi sichitha nthaŵi zonse.” (1 Akorinto 13:7, 8) Chikondi chopanda dyera chimene mwakulitsa m’banja lanu sichidzalephera kokha chifukwa chakuti ana anu achoka panyumba.

Chosangalatsa nchakuti, pamene ana ayamba kukusowani ndi kukumbukira kunyumba kapena pamene ayamba kukumana ndi mavuto a zachuma, kaŵirikaŵiri ndiwo amayambitsanso unansi wochezerana. Hans ndi Ingrid akulangiza kuti: “Lolani anawo adziŵe kuti khomo kunyumba kwanu nlotseguka nthaŵi zonse.” Kuchezerana panthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, makalata, kapena kuimbirana telefoni kudzathandiza kudziŵa za umoyo wa wina. Jack ndi Nora anati: “Khalani ndi chidwi chofuna kudziŵa zimene akuchita popanda kuloŵerera m’nkhani zawo.”

Pamene ana achoka panyumba, moyo wanu umasintha. Koma moyo popanda ana utha kukhala wotangwanitsa, wochitachita, ndi wokhutiritsa. Ndiponso, unansi wanu ndi ana anu umasinthanso. Komabe, utha kukhalabe wosangalatsa ndi wokondweretsa. Maprofesa ena Geoffrey Leigh ndi Gary Peterson ananena kuti: “Pamene ana amasuka kwa makolo nakadzikhalira okha, sizitanthauza kuti tsopano aleka kukonda makolo awo, kukhulupirika kwa iwo, kapena kuwalemekeza. . . . Ndithudi, chikondi champhamvu chapaubale kaŵirikaŵiri chimakhalapobe kwa moyo wonse.” Inde, simudzaleka kuwakonda ana anu, ndipo simudzaleka kukhala kholo lawo. Ndipo chifukwa chikondi chanu pa anawo ndicho chakulolani kuwalola apite, ndithudi iwo sanatayike konse.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 28]

“Koyamba m’moyo wanga . . . , ndinangolira basi”

[Bokosi/Zithunzi patsamba 26]

Mawu kwa Ana Amene Akula—Thandizani Makolo Kuti Akuloleni Kuchoka Bwino

Kuchoka nkosavuta kwambiri pokuyerekeza ndi kusiyidwa. Choncho pamene mukusangalala ndi ufulu wakuti tsopano mwakula, sonyezani chifundo kwa makolo anu ndi kuwamvetsa ngati zikuoneka kukhala zowavuta kuzoloŵera mkhalidwewo. Atsimikizireni kuti simudzaleka kuwakonda nthaŵi zonse. Kakalata kakafupi, mphatso yosayembekezera, kapena kuwaimbira telefoni yongocheza nawo zingathandize kwambiri potsitsimutsa ndi kusangalatsa kholo lachisoni! Adziŵitseni zochitika zikuluzikulu pamoyo wanu. Poona zimenezi amadziŵa kuti chikondi chapabanja chidakali cholimba.

Pamene mukulimbana ndi zovuta za moyo pauchikulire wanu, mwachionekere mpamene mudzamvetsa kwambiri mmene zinaliri kwa makolo anu pokulerani. Mwinamwake zimenezi zidzakukakamizani kuwauza makolo anuwo kuti: “Zikomo kwambiri pa zonse munandichitira ine!”