Mabanja a Ana Opeza Angapambane

KODI NDI KOTHEKA KUKHALA NDI MABANJA A ANA OPEZA AMENE ANGAMACHITE ZINTHU BWINO? Inde, makamaka pamene onse ophatikizidwawo akumbukira kuti “lemba lililonse adaliuzira Mulungu, ndipo lipindulitsa pa chiphunzitso, chitsutsano, chikonzero, chilangizo cha m’chilungamo.” (2 Timoteo 3:16) Pamene aliyense agwiritsa ntchito malamulo a Baibulo, kumakhala kotsimikizirika kuti iwo adzakhala akuchita zinthu bwino.

Khalidwe Lofunika Kwambiri

Baibulo lili ndi malamulo a chikhalidwe cha anthu ochepa chabe. Kwenikweni limalimbikitsa kukulitsa mikhalidwe ndi malingaliro abwino amene amatithandiza kuchita zinthu mwanzeru. Malingaliro ndi mikhalidwe yabwino imeneyo ndiyo maziko a moyo wabanja wachimwemwe.

Zingaoneke ngati zodziŵikiratu, komabe ndi koyenera kutchula kuti mkhalidwe waukulu umene umafunika kuti banja lililonse likhale lachipambano ndiwo chikondi. Mtumwi Paulo anati: “Chikondano chikhale chopanda chinyengo. . . . M’chikondano cha anzanu wina ndi mnzake mukondane ndi chikondi chenicheni.” (Aroma 12:9, 10) Mawu akuti “chikondi” kaŵirikaŵiri amagwiritsidwa ntchito molakwa, koma pano Paulo anali kutchula za mkhalidwe wapadera. Ndicho chikondi chaumulungu, ndipo “sichitha.” (1 Akorinto 13:8) Baibulo limachilongosola kuti ndi chopanda dyera ndipo chimakhala chokonzeka kutumikira ena. Nthaŵi zonse chimachita zinthu zokomera ena. Ndi chopirira ndi chokoma mtima, chilibe nsanje, sichidzikuza, ndipo sichonyada. Sichifuna zokhumba za mwini yekha. Nthaŵi zonse chimakhala chololera, chokhulupirira ena, choyembekezera zabwino, ndi chopirira chilichonse chimene chingabwere.​—1 Akorinto 13:4-7.

Chikondi chenicheni chimathandiza kuthetsa kusiyana maganizo ndi kugwirizanitsa anthu amene analeredwa mosiyana ndiponso okhala ndi umunthu wosiyana kwambiri. Ndipo chimathandiza kulimbana ndi zotsatirapo zowononga za chisudzulo kapena imfa ya kholo lokubala. Bambo wina amene anali ndi ana opeza anafotokoza mavuto amene anali nawo kuti: “Ndinali kukhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zolingalira zanga kotero kuti sindinali kuganizira za malingaliro a ana anga opeza kayanso a mkazi wanga. Ndinafunika kuphunzira kusakhala wasontho kwambiri. Chofunika kwambiri, ndinafunika kuphunzira kukhala wodzichepetsa.” Chikondi chinamuthandiza kuti apange masinthidwe ofunikawo.

Kholo Lomwe Linabala Anawo

Chikondi chingathandize pochita ndi unansi wapakati pa ana ndi kholo lawo lowabala limene tsopano palibe. Bambo wina wokhala ndi ana opeza anati: “Ndinali kufuna kukhala munthu woyamba mwa anthu amene ana anga opeza anali kuwakonda. Akapita kukacheza ndi atate awo wowabala, zinali zovuta kuti ndisanenepo kanthu koipa kokhudza atate wawowo. Zinkandinyansa ngati abwerako atacheza nawo bwino. Ndinali kusangalala ngati sanacheze nawo bwino. Kwenikweni, ndinkaopa kuti iwo aleka kundikonda. Chinthu chimene chinali chovuta kwambiri chinali kuvomereza kuti atate wawo wowabalawo anali wofunika kwambiri kwa ana anga opezawo.”

Chikondi chopanda mpeni kumphasa chinathandiza bamboyu kuzindikira kuti kunali kusalingalira bwino kuyembekezera chikondi “choyamba nthaŵi yomweyo.” Sanafunike kumva kuti anakanidwa pamene anawo sanayambe kumukonda mwamsanga. Anafika pozindikira kuti ndi kosatheka kuti anawo azingoganiza za iyeyo basi osatinso za atate wawo wowabala. Anawo anali atadziŵa atate wawo wowabalawo kuyambira ali aang’ono, pamene aŵa wowaleraŵa anali mlendo amene anafunika kuchita kuyesetsa kuti azikondedwa ndi anawo. Wofufuza wina Elizabeth Einstein anasonyeza zimene zachitikira anthu ambiri pamene anati: “Kholo lomwe linabala mwana silingaloŵedwe m’malo​—sizingatheke. Ngakhale kholo limene linamwalira kapena limene linawanyanyala ana ake limakhalabe lofunika kwambiri kwa ana.”

Chilango​—Nkhani Yofunika Kusamala Nayo

Baibulo limasonyeza kuti mwambo ndi wofunika kwa achinyamata, ndipo zimenezi zimaphatikizapo ana opeza. (Miyambo 8:33) Akatswiri ambiri akugwirizana ndi zimene Baibulo limanena pankhaniyi. Polofesa Ceres Alves de Araújo anati: “Mwachibadwa palibe amene amafuna kumuikira malire, komatu ndi ofunika. ‘Ayi’ ndi mawu oteteza.”

Komabe, m’banja la ana opeza, malingaliro a kaperekedwe ka chilango akhoza kusiyanitsa anthu kwambiri. Mbali ina ya ana opezawo inaumbidwa ndi munthu wina amene tsopano palibe. Iwo angakhale ndi zizoloŵezi kapena miyambo imene kholo lowapeza lingamanyasidwe nayo. Ndipo mwinanso iwo sangamvetse chifukwa chake kholo lowapezalo limaumirira pankhani zina. Kodi ndi motani mmene ungachitire zinthu bwino mu mkhalidwe woterewu? Paulo analangiza Akristu kuti: ‘Mutsate . . . chikondi, chipiriro, chifatso.’ (1 Timoteo 6:11) Chikondi chachikristu chimathandiza onse kholo ndi ana opeza kuti akhale ofatsa ndi oleza mtima pamene akuphunzira kumvetsetsana. Ngati khololo lili losaleza mtima, ‘kukalipa, kupsa mtima, kulankhula mawu achipongwe’ kungawononge mwamsanga unansi uliwonse umene unabwerapo.​—Aefeso 4:31, Chipangano Chatsopano Cholembedwa m’Chicheŵa Chamakono.

Nzeru ya chimene chidzakhala chothandiza pankhaniyi inaperekedwa ndi mneneri Mika. Iye anati: “Yehova afunanji nawe koma kuti uchite cholungama, ndi kukonda chifundo ndi kuyenda modzichepetsa ndi Mulungu wako?” (Mika 6:8) Chilungamo ndi chofunika kwambiri popereka chilango. Koma bwanji chifundo? Mkulu wina wachikristu anafotokoza kuti kaŵirikaŵiri Lamlungu mmaŵa kunali kovuta kudzutsa ana ake opeza kuti apite kukalambira kumpingo. M’malo mowakalipira, anayesa kukhala wachifundo. Anali kudzuka mofulumira nakonza chakudya chammaŵa, ndiyeno anali kukapereka chakumwa chofunda bwino kwa mwana aliyense. Chotsatirapo chake chinali chakuti anawo anayamba kumvera akamawadzutsa.

Polofesa Ana Luisa Vieira de Mattos ananena mawu opatsa chidwi aŵa: “Si mtundu wa banja umene uli wofunika koma mkhalidwe wa unansi wanu. Pakufufuza kwanga ndaona kuti achinyamata opanda khalidwe pafupifupi nthaŵi zonse ndi amene amachokera m’mabanja amene makolo awo sawayang’anira kwenikweni, m’mabanja amene mulibe malamulo ndi mmene anthu salankhulana kwenikweni.” Iye anatinso: “Kuli koyenera kugogomezera kuti kulera ana kumatanthauza kumanena kuti ayi.” Ndiponso, Dr. Emily ndi Dr. John Visher anati: “Kwenikweni, chilango chimagwira ntchito kokha pamene munthu amene akulandira chilangoyo amasamala zochita ndiponso unansi wake ndi munthu amene akupereka chilangocho.”

Ndemanga zimenezi zikukhudza funso lakuti ndani m’banja la ana opeza amene ayenera kupereka chilango. Kodi ndani amene ayenera kunena kuti ayi? Atakambirana, makolo ena asankha kuti, monga poyambira, kholo limene linabala anawo ndilo liyenera kukhala munthu weniweni wolanga anawo kotero kuti apatse kholo lobweralo mpata wopanga unansi wathithithi ndi anawo. M’pofunika kuti ana aphunzire kukhala ndi chidaliro chakuti kholo lobweralo limawakonda lisanayambe kuwalanga.

Koma bwanji ngati ndi bambo amene wapeza ana m’banjamo? Kodi Baibulo silinena kuti abambo ndiwo mutu wabanja? Limatero. (Aefeso 5:22, 23; 6:1, 2) Komabe, bambo amene wapeza ana m’banja angafune kuuza amayi kuti abapereka ndiwo chilango, makamaka pamene chikhudza kukhaulitsa. Iye angalole kuti ana azimvera ‘chilangizo cha amawo’ pamene iye akuyala maziko akuti ‘azimvera mwambo wa atate awo [atsopano].’ (Miyambo 1:8; 6:20; 31:1) Umboni umasonyeza kuti pakupita kwanthaŵi zimenezi sizitsutsana ndi pulinsipulo la umutu. Ndiponso, bambo wina amene anapezamo ana kale m’banja anati: “Ndinakumbukira kuti chilango chimaphatikizapo kupereka uphungu, kuwongolera polakwika, ndi kudzudzula. Pamene zimenezi zichitidwa mwachilungamo, mwachikondi, ndi mwachifundo, makolo namaperekanso chitsanzo, kaŵirikaŵiri zimathandiza.”

Makolo Afunika Kulankhulana

Miyambo 15:22 imati: “Zolingalira zizimidwa popanda upo.” M’banja la ana opeza, upo wokambirana moleza ndi moona mtima pakati pa makolo ndi wofunika kwambiri. Wolemba nkhani m’nyuzipepala ya O Estado de S. Paulo anati: “Ana amakonda kuyesa malire amene makolo amaika.” Zimenezo zingakhale zoona kwambiri m’banja la ana opeza. Motero, makolowo ayenera kufika pogwirizana pankhani zochuluka kotero kuti ana aziona kuti iwo ndi ogwirizana. Nanga bwanji ngati kholo lomwe linapeza anawo lichita zinthu mwanjira imene kholo lobala anawo liona kuti siyachilungamo? Ndiye kuti aŵiriwo ayenera kukambirana nkhaniyo paokha, osati pali anawo.

Mayi wina amene anakwatiwanso anati: “Chinthu chovuta kwambiri kwa mayi ndi kuona bambo watsopanoyo akumulangira ana ake, makamaka pamene mayiyo akuona kuti bamboyo akuchita zinthu mwansontho kapena akuonetsa kukondera. Zimamupweteka mumtima ndipo amafuna kutchinjiriza ana ake. Panthaŵi zoterozo ndi kovuta kuti ukhalebe wogonjera kwa mwamuna wako ndi kumamuchirikiza.

“Tsiku lina, ana anga amuna aŵiri, wina wazaka 12 ndi wina wazaka 14, anapempha chilolezo kwa atate awo owalera kuti achite zinazake. Mwamsanga anawakaniza ndi kuchoka m’chipindacho osawapatsa mpata anyamatawo kuti alongosole chifukwa chake pempholo linali lofunika kwa iwo. Anyamatawo anafuna kulira, ndipo ndinalibe mawu. Mnyamata wamkuluyo anandiyang’ana n’kunena kuti: ‘Amayi, kodi mwaona zimene achita?’ Ndinayankha kuti: ‘Inde ndaona. Komabe iwo ndi mutu wa m’nyumba muno, ndipo Baibulo limatiuza kuti tiyenera kulemekeza umutu.’ Anali anyamata abwino, anavomereza zimenezi ndipo anakhazika mtima pansi pang’ono. Madzulo ake, ndinalongosolera mwamuna wanga mmene zinthu zinalili, ndipo anazindikira kuti anachita zinthu mopondereza kwambiri. Nthaŵi yomweyo anapita kukapepesa kwa anyamatawo m’chipinda chawo.

“Zochitika zimenezi zinatiphunzitsa zambiri. Mwamuna wanga anaphunzira kuyamba wamvetsera asanapange zosankha. Ndinaphunzira kulemekeza pulinsipulo la umutu, ngakhale pamene zili zovuta. Anyamata anaphunzira kufunika kokhala omvera. (Akolose 3:18, 19) Ndipo kupepesa kwa mwamuna wanga kochokera mumtima kunatipatsa phunziro labwino la kudzichepetsa. (Miyambo 29:23) Lero, ana onse aŵiri ndi akulu achikristu.”

Padzakhalabe zolakwika. Ana adzanena kapena kuchita zinthu zopweteka. Zovuta za nthaŵi ino zidzapangitsa makolo amene anapeza ana m’banja kuchita zinthu mosalingalira bwino. Komabe, mawu osavuta akuti, “Pepani, mundikhululukire chonde,” angachiritse mabala kwambiri.

Kulimbitsa Mgwirizano wa Banja

Kumatenga nthaŵi kuti m’banja la ana opeza mukhale chikondi champhamvu. Ngati ndinu atate kapena amayi amene munapeza ana kale m’banjamo, mufunika kusonyeza chifundo. Khalani womvetsetsa, wokonzeka kucheza ndi anawo. Seŵerani nawo ana ang’onoang’ono. Khalani okonzeka kukambirana ndi ana omwe ndi amisinkhu. Funafunani mipata yoti muzichitira zinthu pamodzi​—mwachitsanzo, auzeni ana kuti akuthandizeni ntchito za panyumba, monga ngati kukonza chakudya cha madzulo kaya kutsuka galimoto. Atengeni kuti akakuthandizeni pamene mupita kumsika. Ndiponso, magesichala ena aang’ono osonyeza chikondi angawasonyeze mmene mumawakondera. (Zoona, atate ayenera kusamala kuti asadutse malire ndi kuchititsa ana awo akazi opeza kusoŵa mtendere. Ndipo amayi ayenera kukumbukira kuti anyamatanso ali ndi malire.)

Mabanja a ana opeza angapambane. Ambiri apambana. Amene apeza chipambano kwambiri ndi aja amene onse ophatikizidwa, makamaka makolo, amakulitsa malingaliro oyenera ndi kuyembekezera zinthu zotheka. Mtumwi Yohane analemba kuti: “Okondedwa, tikondane wina ndi mnzake: chifukwa kuti chikondi chichokera kwa Mulungu.” (1 Yohane 4:7) Inde, chikondi chochokera pansi pa mtima ndicho chinsinsi chenicheni cha banja la ana opeza lachimwemwe.

[Zithunzi patsamba 7]

MABANJA A ANA OPEZA ACHIMWEMWE

amaphunzira Mawu a Mulungu pamodzi . . .

amachitira zinthu pamodzi . . .

amachezera pamodzi . . .

amagwirira ntchito pamodzi . . .