Kulankhulana Kwabwino—Kiyi ya Ukwati Wabwino
Mu 1778, Robert Barron anapanga loko wokhala ndi timipiringidzo tiŵiri tachitsulo m’kati mwake amene mpaka pano ndiye chitsanzo cha loko wamakono wotsegula ndi kiyi. Luso lakelo linafuna kugwiritsa ntchito kiyi mmodzi wokhoza kutukula timipiringidzo tiŵirito pamodzi.
MOFANANAMO, ukwati wabwino umadalira mwamuna ndi mkazi kugwira ntchito pamodzi mogwirizana. Kuti tipeza chimwemwe ndi ukwati wabwino, chinthu chimodzi chofunika ndicho kulankhulana kwabwino.
Zofunika pa Kulankhulana Kwabwino
Kodi chofunika n’chiyani kuti pakhale kulankhulana kwabwino? Dikishonale ina inatanthauzira mawu akuti kulankhulana kukhala “kupereka kapena kukambirana mfundo, malingaliro, kapenanso uthenga mwa kulankhula kwapakamwa, kolemba kapena kulankhula ndi manja.” Choncho, kulankhulana kumaphatikizapo zinthu zolimbikitsa, zotsitsimula, kukoma mtima, chitamando, ndi chitonthozo.—Aefeso 4:29-32; Afilipi 4:8.
Kulankhulana kwabwino kumatheka ngati pali kudalirana, kukhulupirirana ndiponso kumvetsetsana. Mikhalidwe imeneyi imakhalapo ngati ukwati uonedwa kukhala mgwirizano wa moyo wonse komanso kudzipereka ndi mtima wonse kuti zimenezi zitheke. Pothirira ndemanga za mgwirizano umenewu, Joseph Addison, wolemba nkhani wa m’zaka za zana la 18 analemba kuti: “Anthu aŵiri amene asankhana pakati pa anthu ena onse, ndi cholinga chakuti azitonthozana ndi kusangalatsana wina ndi mnzake, mwa kuchita zimenezi, iwo ayenera kutsimikiza mtima kukhala osekererana, okomerana mtima, okhulupirika, okhululukira, oleza mtima ndiponso achimwemwe, pa zofooka ndi zabwino za mnzawo, mpaka imfa.” Ati kukondweretsa kwake mgwirizanowu! Ndipo mikhalidwe yonga mphete zamtengo wapatali imeneyi ingalimbikitse ukwati wanu, ndipo zimenezi zingatheke mwa kulankhulana kwabwino.
Zolepheretsa Kulankhulana Kwabwino
Okwatirana ambiri amayamba ukwati wawo ndi zolinga zabwino, ndi chimwemwe chokhachokha. Komabe, ambiri, chimwemwe chimenechi chimatha, ndipo zolinga zabwino zimachoka. Chidaliro chawo chija chimasintha n’kukhala mavuto osiyanasiyana monga chisoni, mkwiyo, chidani, ngakhale kunyansana kwambiri. Zikatero ukwatiwo umangokhala moyo wopirira “mpaka imfa idzaŵalekanitse.” Choncho, kuti pakhale kulankhulana kwabwino komanso kosalekeza muukwati, pali zolepheretsa zina zoyenera kuzithetsa.
Cholepheretsa chachikulu pa kulankhulana kwabwino ndicho kuwopa zimene mnzathu wa muukwati adzachita tikamufotokozera nkhani kapena zolinga zathu. Mwachitsanzo, wina poopa kukanidwa, angabise chofooka chachikulu chimene ali nacho. Kodi wina angafotokozere motani mnzake wa muukwati za chochitika chimene chikubwera chimene chidzasintha kwambiri maonekedwe ake kapena mphamvu yake yochita zinthu zina? M’zochitika zoterozo, kulankhulana koona mtima ndi kukonzekera bwino zam’tsogolo n’kofunika kwambiri. Kuuzana mwapakamwa nthaŵi zonse za chikondi chanu, limodzi ndi kuchitirana zinthu zokomerana mtima, kudzatheketsa ukwati wokhutiritsadi. Muukwati, mwambi wotsatirawu uyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito kuposa kwina konse: “Bwenzi limakonda nthaŵi zonse, ndipo mbale anabadwira kuti akuthandize pooneka tsoka.”—Miyambo 17:17.
Kusunga chakukhosi n’cholepheretsa china cha kulankhulana kwabwino. Pali Chicheŵa chabwino kwambiri chonena kuti, ukwati wa chimwemwe ndiwo mgwirizano pakati pa anthu aŵiri okonda kukhululukirana. Kuti achite zimenezi, okwatiranawo ayenera kuyesetsa kutsatira uphungu wothandiza wa mtumwi Paulo wakuti: “Dzuŵa lisaloŵe muli chikwiyire.” (Aefeso 4:26) Kutsatira uphungu umenewu, m’malo mosunga mkwiyo kapena chakukhosi mwachionekere kudzachititsa kulankhulana kwaulemu. Okwatirana amene ali ndi ukwati wabwino sapitirira kukwiya, kukangana, kapena kusunga chakukhosi. (Miyambo 30:33) Amayesetsa kutsatira Mulungu amene sasunga chakukhosi. (Yeremiya 3:12) Inde, amakhululukirana kuchokera pansi pa mtima.—Mateyu 18:35.
China chimenenso ndi cholepheretsa chotsimikizika pa kulankhulana kulikonse ndicho kuleka kulankhulitsana. Chimenechi chingaphatikizepo msunamo, kung’ung’udza kwambiri, kuchita zinthu monyanyalira, ndiponso kukana kulankhulitsa wina. Wa muukwati amene amachita zimenezi akuuza mnzake kuti akunyansidwa naye. Koma kulankhula zomwe zili m’mtima m’njira yoona mtima ndi yabwino kumathandiza ukwatiwo kusiyana ndi kungokhala duu osalankhula.
Kulephera kumvetsera bwino pamene mnzathu wa muukwati alankhula kapena kusamvetsera n’komwe ndilo vuto linanso loyenera kuthetsedwa pa nkhani ya kulankhulana m’banja. N’kutheka kuti mwinamwake wina watopa kwambiri kapena watangwanika moti n’kulephera kutchera khutu. Pamenepo mkangano ungabukepo wina poganiza kuti anafotokozapo kale za kachitidwe ka chinthu china, pamene winayo angaumirire kuti zimenezo akuzimva kwa nthaŵi yoyamba. Inde, kusamvetsana ndiko kumadzetsa mavuto otere.
Mmene Mungalimbikitsire Kulankhulana Kwabwino
N’chinthu chofunika kwenikweni kupeza nthaŵi yolankhulana ndi kucheza kwabwino! Anthu ena amataya nthaŵi yambiri kuonera makhalidwe a ena pa TV, akumakhala ndi nthaŵi yochepa kwambiri yoona za moyo wawo. Choncho, kutseka wailesi yakanema ndiyo njira yabwino kuti mulankhulane bwino.
Monga momwe kuliri nthaŵi yolankhulana, palinso nthaŵi yokhala chete. Munthu wanzeru anati: “Kanthu kali konse kali ndi nthaŵi yake, mphindi yakutonthola ndi mphindi yakulankhula.” Inde, palinso mawu abwino akuti: ‘Mawu a pa nthaŵi yake, eti kukoma kwake!’ umatero mwambi. (Mlaliki 3:1, 7; Miyambo 15:23) Choncho onetsetsani nthaŵi yoyenera kuti mulankhule cholinga chanu kapena nkhaŵa zanu. Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi mnzanga wa muukwati watopa kapena ali bwinobwino? Kodi nkhani imene ndifuna kunena ndi yokwiyitsa? Kodi mnzanga wa muukwati anatsutsa chiyani m’mbuyomu pamene tinakabirana nkhaniyi?’
Kumbukirani kuti anthu amayankha bwino kwambiri pamene aona mmene kuvomereza kapena kutsatira zimene akufunsidwazo kudzawapindulitsira iwo. Ngati pali vuto lina pakati pa okwatiranawo, wina anganene kuti: “Pali nkhani ina imene ikundinyansa kwambiri, ndipo ndikufuna kuti tikambirane zitheretu pompano!” N’zoona kuti mmene munenere mawuwo zikadalira chochitikacho, koma ndibwino mutanena kuti, “Wokondedwa, ndakhala ndikuganiza za nkhani imene takambirana ija, ndi mmene tikanachitira.” Kodi ndi kulankhula kuti kumene mnzanu wa muukwatiyo adzakondwera nako?
Inde, mmene timanenera zinthu n’kofunika kwambiri. Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Mawu anu akhale m’chisomo, okoleretsa.” (Akolose 4:6) Tiyeni tiyesetse kukhala achisomo polankhula ndi posankha mawu. Kumbukirani kuti: “Mawu okoma ndiwo chisa cha uchi, otsekemera m’moyo ndi olamitsa mafupa.”—Miyambo 16:24.
Kwa okwatirana ena, kugwira ntchito zapanyumba pamodzi kumapereka mpata wabwino wolankhulana. Mgwirizano woterowo umapezetsa nthaŵi yocheza ndi kukambirana kwabwino. Kwa okwatirana ena nthaŵi yopuma pamene sakugwira ntchito, ndiyo imakhala yabwino kucheza.
Tingaphunzire zambiri poona mmene okwatirana amene akukhalitsana bwino pabanja amalankhulirana. Kodi n’chiyani chawatheketsa kukhala motero? Mwachionekere, mgwirizano ndi nsangala polankhulana, zakhalapo chifukwa cha khama la aliyense wa iwo, kuleza mtima, ndi kulolerana mwachikondi. Iwonso aphunzira zambiri, pakuti maukwati abwino sabwera okha. N’chifukwa chake n’kofunika kwambiri kumvetsa maganizo a mnzanu wa muukwati, kuzindikira zosoŵa zake, ndi kuthetsa mikhalidwe yokhumudwitsa iliyonse mwa kulankhula mawu anzeru. (Miyambo 16:23) Choncho ngati ndinu wokwatira, yesetsani kukhala munthu wosangalatsa kukhala naye ndi wosavuta kum’pepesa. Zimenezi zidzathandiza kwambiri ukwati wanu kukhala wabwino.
Yehova Mulungu amafuna kuti anthu asangalale ndi ukwati wokhalitsa ndiponso wachimwemwe. (Genesis 2:18, 21) Komabe, kuti zimenezi zitheke, kiyi yake ili ndi okwatiranawo. Zimalira anthu aŵiri okondana amene komanso ogwirizana kuti atsegule chitseko choloŵera ukwati wabwino mwa kuphunzira luso la kulankhulana kwabwino.
[Chithunzi patsamba 22]
Kutseka TV kumapereka mpata wabwino wakulankhulana
[Zithunzi patsamba 23]
Kulankhulana kwabwino kumathandiza polunzanitsa mitima m’chikondi