Kodi Ndiyenera Kudziwa Zotani Zokhudza Nkhanza za Kugonana?—Gawo 1: Mmene Mungadzitetezere

Kodi anthu amachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana m’njira zotani?

Nkhanza zokhudza kugonana zimachitidwa m’njira zosiyanasiyana m’mayikonso osiyanasiyana. Anthu ambiri amene amachitidwa nkhanza zimenezi amachita kukakamizidwa kuti agonane iwo asakufuna, ndipo anthu omwe amachita nkhanzazi amatha kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu pofuna kukwanitsa zolinga zawo. Anthu ankhanzawa akhoza kugona ndi mwana, wachinyamata, kapena wachibale. Ena amagwiriridwa kapena kuchitidwa chipongwe ndi munthu amene amamuyembekezera kuti angawathandize monga dokotala, mphunzitsi, kapena mtsogoleri wachipembedzo. Nthawi zambiri anthu amene amachitidwa chipongwechi amaopsezedwa kuti akangoulula aona zakuda.

Lipoti lina linasonyeza kuti chaka chilichonse, anthu pafupifupi hafu miliyoni a ku United States kokha amachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Ndipo hafu ya anthuwa amakhala a zaka zapakati pa 12 ndi 18.

Zimene muyenera kudziwa

• Baibulo limaletsa nkhanza za kugonana. Baibulo limanena kuti pa nthawi ina m’mbuyomo, zaka pafupifupi 4,000 zapitazo, gulu la anthu aamuna linkafuna kugwirira azibambo awiri omwe anapita mumzinda wa Sodomu. Ichi chinali chifukwa chachikulu chimene chinapangitsa kuti Yehova awononge mzindawu. (Genesis 19:4-13) Kuwonjezera pamenepa, Chilamulo chimene Mulungu anapereka ku mtundu wa Aisiraeli kudzera mwa Mose zaka pafupifupi 3,500 zapitazo, chinkaletsa kugonana ndi wachibale ngakhalenso kumuchitira nkhanza zokhudza kugonana.​—Levitiko 18:6.

• Anthu ambiri amachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana ndi anthu owadziwa. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Pa akazi atatu alionse amene amagwiriridwa, awiri amakhala kuti munthu amene wawagwirirayo akumudziwa. Nthawi zambiri ogwiririrawa sakhala anthu achilendo.”—Talking Sex With Your Kids.

• Amunanso angachitidwe nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Ku United States kokha, pa anthu 100 alionse amene amachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana, 10 amakhala amuna. Bungwe lina linanena kuti amuna amene amachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana “amakhala ndi mantha kuti atha kudzayamba kugonana ndi amuna anzawo” kapena amayamba kudziona ngati “si amuna enieni.”—Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN).

• Sizachilendo kuti nkhanza zokhudza kugonana zikuchuluka. Baibulo linalosera kuti ‘m’masiku otsiriza’ anthu ambiri adzakhala “osakonda achibale awo,” “oopsa” komanso “osadziletsa.” (2 Timoteyo 3:1-3) Anthu amene amachitira ena nkhanza zokhudza kugonana amakhala ndi makhalidwe amenewa.

• Vuto si munthu wochitiridwa nkhanza. Palibe munthu amene amayenera kuchitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Wolakwa amakhala munthu amene wachita nkhanzayo. Komabe, pali zinthu zimene mungachite kuti mudziteteze kwa anthu amene amachitira ena nkhanza zokhudza kugonana.

Zimene mungachite

• Muzikhala wokonzeka. Muziganizira zimene mungachite munthu wina, ngakhale chibwenzi kapena wachibale wanu, atakukakamizani kuti mugonane naye. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Erin ananena kuti ndi bwino kuyerekezera njira zosiyanasiyana zimene anthu angakuchitire nkhanza zokhudza kugonana kenako n’kuganizira zimene ungachite. Zimenezi zingakuthandize kuti usachite zinthu chifukwa chokakamizidwa. Mtsikanayu ananenanso kuti: “Zingaoneke ngati zofoira koma zingakuthandize kuti usachitidwe nkhanza zokhudza kugonana.”

  Baibulo limati: “Samalani kwambiri kuti mmene mukuyendera si monga anthu opanda nzeru, koma ngati anzeru, . . . chifukwa masikuwa ndi oipa.”—Aefeso 5:15, 16.

  Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndingatani ngati munthu atandigwira mosayenera?’

• Pezani njira yochokera. Bungwe la RAINN linanenanso kuti: “Mukhale ndi mawu achinsinsi oti muzidziwa inuyo ndi anzanu kapena achibale anu okha basi. Muzichita zimenezi n’cholinga choti ngati mukukaikira kuti munthu wina akufuna kukuchitani chipongwe muziimbira foni achibale anuwo n’kutchula mawuwo. Zikatero iwo azidziwa kuti mukufuna kuti adzakutengeni kapena angapeze njira ina yoti muchokere.” Mukhoza kupewa kuchitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana ngati mutayesetsa kupeza njira yochokera pamalopo.

  Baibulo limati: “Wochenjera ndi amene amati akaona tsoka amabisala, koma anthu osadziwa zinthu amangopitabe ndipo amalangidwa.”​—Miyambo 22:3.

  Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndili ndi njira imene ingandithandize kuchoka mwansanga ngati munthu akufuna kundichita nkhanza zokhudza kugonana?’

  

• Musamachite zinthu mopitirira malire. Ngati muli pachibwenzi, mungachite bwino kukambirana zimene muyenera kuchita ndi zimene simuyenera kuchita pa nthawi ya chibwenziyo. Ngati mnzanuyo akuona kuti zimenezi n’zachikale, ndibwino kuthetsa chibwenzicho n’kupeza wina amene angalemekeze mfundo zimene mumayendera.

  Baibulo limati: “Chikondi. . . sichichita zosayenera, sichisamala zofuna zake zokha.”—1 Akorinto 13:4, 5.

  Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimayendera mfundo zotani? Kodi ndi makhalidwe otani amene amasemphana ndi mfundo zimene ndimayendera?’