ZIMENE ACHINYAMATA AMADZIFUNSA
Kodi Ndi Mnzanga Chabe Kapena Amandifuna?—Gawo 2: Kodi Ndikumukopa?
Mnzanu akafuna kuti mucheze naye, mumayesetsa kupeza nthawi. Koma mwazindikira kuti mukumacheza kwambiri ndi munthu mmodzi. Komabe, vuto ndi lakuti munthuyo si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu. Inuyo mumaona kuti munthuyo ndi mnzanu chabe ndipo mumaganiza kuti nayenso amangokuonani ngati mnzake. Kodi zimenezi zili ndi vuto?
Kodi chingachitike n’chiyani?
Kukhala ndi mnzanu wamwamuna kapena wamkazi, si kulakwa. Koma kodi kucheza kwambiri ndi munthu amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu kungakhale ndi vuto? Zikatere, mnzanuyo akhoza kuyamba kuganiza kuti mukufuna kukhala naye pa chibwenzi.
Kodi simukufuna kuti aziganiza zimenezi? Taganizirani zimene zingachititse kuti mnzanuyo aziona ngati mukumufuna.
Mumacheza kwambiri ndi mtsikana kapena mnyamata winawake.
“Ngakhale kuti sitingaletse munthu kuganiza zimene akufuna, si bwino kumachita zinthu zomwe zingamupangitse kuganiza kuti mukumufuna monga, kumuimbira foni kapena kucheza naye pafupifupi.”—Sierra.
Mumasangalala munthu wina akamachita zinthu zosonyeza kuti akukufunani.
“Mtsikana wina ankakonda kunditumizira mameseji ndipo ineyo ndinkayankha mameseji ake onse. Koma zimenezi zinachititsa kuti ndivutike kumuuza kuti ndinkangocheza naye ngati mnzanga.”—Richard.
Mumachititsa kuti munthu wina azicheza nanu kwambiri.
“Anthu ena amaona kuti kukopana n’kosangalatsa. Iwo amakonda kuchita zinthu zosonyeza kuti akufuna munthu winawake pomwe sakumufuna. Ndakhala ndikuona zimenezi zikuchitika kambirimbiri ndipo mapeto ake wina amakhumudwa nazo.”—Tamara
Mfundo yofunika: Mukamacheza kwambiri ndi munthu winawake, zimapangitsa kuti aziganiza zoti mukumufuna.
Kodi nkhaniyi ndi yofunikadi kuiganizira?
Zimapangitsa kuti munthu wina akhumudwe.
Baibulo limati: “Chinthu chimene unali kuyembekeza chikalephereka, chimadwalitsa mtima.” (Miyambo 13:12) Kodi mungayembekezere zotani munthu winawake atamachita zinthu zosonyeza kuti akukufunani?
“Mwina munamvapo za mawu akuti ‘kuseweretsana maganizo.’ Izi zimachitika munthu ukamachita zinthu zosonyeza kuti ukufuna winawake pomwe sukumufuna. Winayo amayembekezera kuti umufunsira pomwe iwe ukungomuseweretsa. Zimenezi zimapangitsa kuti munthuyo akhumudwe kwambiri.”—Jessica.
Zimaipitsa mbiri yanu.
Baibulo limati: “Musamaganizire zofuna zanu zokha, koma muziganiziranso zofuna za ena.” (Afilipi 2:4) Kodi mungamuone bwanji munthu amene amangoganizira zofuna zake zokha? Kodi zimenezi zingakhudze bwanji mbiri ya munthuyo?
“Mnyamata amene amakopa atsikana sandisangalatsa. Ndipo mnyamata wotere akadzakwatira sangadzakhale wokhulupirika kwa mkazi wake. Anyamata otere amafuna kuti azingodziona ngati ndi madolo chifukwa chopusitsa atsikana.”—Julia.
Mfundo yofunika: Anthu amene amakonda kutumiza mameseji achikondi koma alibe maganizo okhala ndi chibwenzi, amakhumudwa komanso amakhumudwitsa ena.
Zimene mungachite
Baibulo limati uziona “amuna achinyamata . . . ngati abale ako” ndiponso “akazi achitsikana . . . ngati alongo ako.” (1 Timoteyo 5:1, 2) Kutsatira malangizo amenewa, kungakuthandizeni kuti muzicheza bwino ndi anthu amene si amuna kapena akazi anzanu.
“Ndikanakhala kuti ndili pabanja, si bwenzi ndikukopana ndi mwamuna wa mwiniwake. Popeza sindili pabanja, ndimaona kuti panopa ndi nthawi yabwino yophunzira kucheza mosamala ndi anyamata.”—Leah.
Baibulo limati: “Pakachuluka mawu sipalephera kukhala zolakwa.” (Miyambo 10:19) N’zoona kuti mfundoyi imanena za kuchuluka kwa mawu amene mumalankhula, koma ingagwirenso ntchito pa kuchuluka kwa mameseji amene mungatumizire wina ndi zimene mumalemba.
“Ndimaona kuti palibe chifukwa chomatumizira mtsikana mameseji tsiku lililonse ngati ulibe maganizo okhala naye pachibwenzi.”—Brian.
Baibulo limati: “Nzeru yochokera kumwamba, choyamba, ndi yoyera.” (Yakobo 3:17) Si kulakwa kuhagana ndi mtsikana kapena mnyamata, koma zimene mungachite pohaganapo zingapangitse mnzanuyo kuganiza kuti mukumufuna.
“Ndimacheza momasuka ndi anzanga omwe ndi anyamata, koma ndimakhala wosamala kuti ndisawapatse maganizo olakwika.”—Maria.
Mfundo yofunika: Dzifufuzeni kuti muone ngati mumacheza moyenera ndi anthu omwe si amuna kapena akazi anzanu. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Jennifer anati: “Zimakhala zovuta kuti upeze anzako abwino, ndiye mpofunika kucheza nawo mosamala kuti usawakhumudwitse.”
Zimene zingakuthandizeni
Muziganizira zimene anthu ena anganene. Mwachitsanzo, wina angakufunseni kuti, “Kodi uli pa chibwenzi ndi wakutiwakuti uja?” Funso limeneli lingakuthandizeni kuzindikira kuti mukucheza mopitirira malire ndi munthuyo.
Muziyesetsa kucheza mofanana ndi anzanu onse omwe si amuna kapena akazi anzanu ndipo muzipewa kucheza kwambiri ndi munthu mmodzi yekha.
Muzisamala polemba mameseji. Muziganizira kuchuluka kwa mameseji omwe mumalemba, zimene mumalembamo komanso nthawi imene mumatumizirana ndi munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu. Pa nkhaniyi mtsikana wina dzina lake Alyssa ananena kuti: “Musamatumizirane mameseji ndi munthu yemwe si chibwenzi chanu usiku.”