Kodi Ndani Amawaphunzitsa Nkhani za Kugonana?

HA, NCHISANGALALO chotani nanga chimene mwana amabweretsa atabadwa! Makolo amakondwa naye kwadzawoneni, kuseŵera naye, ndi kuuzako mabwenzi awo pafupifupi kalikonse kamene mwanayo amachita. Koma posapita nthaŵi iwo amayamba kuzindikira kuti mwanayo amabweretsanso mathayo aakulu atsopano. Limodzi la iwo nkukhala kufunika kwa kumphunzitsa kudzisungira bwino m’dzikoli lamakhalidwe oipaipirabe.

Kodi ndimotani mmene makolo angathandizire mwana wamng’ono wokondedwa kukula ndi kukhala munthu wamkulu amene adzakhala ndi moyo wabanja wachimwemwe ndipo mwinamwake kulera ana akeake owopa Mulungu? Makolo ena angawone zimenezi kukhala thayo losatheka kwenikweni, chotero tikhulupirira kuti malingaliro operekedwa munomu adzayamikiridwa.

Mwinamwake mumaphunzitsa ana anu mwanjira imene makolo anu anakuphunzitsirani. Koma makolo ambiri anaphunzitsidwa zochepa ponena za kugonana, ngati kuti anaphunzitsidwa nkomwe. Ngakhale ngati munaphunzitsidwa bwino, dziko lasintha, momwenso zosoŵa za ana. Ndiponso, oŵerenga ambiri a magazini ano afikira pakukhala ndi miyezo yapamwamba yakakhalidwe ndi njira yamoyo yabwinopo. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kudzifunsa nokha kuti: ‘Kodi njira imene ndimaphunzitsira ana anga imagwirizana ndi malingaliro anga atsopano ndi zosoŵa zomakulakulabe za ana anga?’

Makolo ena amalola ana awo kudzidziŵira okha zimenezo. Koma kuteroko kumabutsa mafunso owopsa awa: Kodi iwo adzaphunziranji? Liti? Kwa yani, ndipo m’mikhalidwe yotani?

Zimene Sukulu Zimaphunzitsa

Makolo ambiri amanena kuti: “Aaa, munena izo, adzaziphunzira kusukulu!” Nzowona, sukulu zambiri zimaphunzitsa ponena zakugonana, koma ndisukulu zochepa zimene zimaphunzitsa ponena za makhalidwe abwino. Yemwe kale anali mlembi mu Unduna wa Zamaphunziro ku United States William J. Bennett ananena mu 1987 kuti sukulu zimasonyeza “kusafuna dala kusiyanitsa makhalidwe.”

Tom, atate wa asungwana aŵiri okondedwa, anafunsa mmodzi wa aphunzitsi awo kuti: “Bwanji simungonena kuti kugonana kunja kwaukwati nkulakwa? ” Mphunzitsiyo anati akadakonda kunena zimenezo koma sukulu sifuna kukwiitsa amayi osakwatiwa a anawo ndi zitsamwali zimene amakhala nazo m’nyumba. Chotero, ana asukulu amauzidwa kuti ziri kwa iwo kudzisankhira koma samauzidwa kwenikweni chosankha chimne chiri cholondola.

‘Ndidzagula Bukhu’

Makolo ena anganene kuti: “Ndidzawagulira bukhu.” Mwinamwake bukhu labwino lingathandize, koma muyenera kukhala wosamala kutsimikizira kuti mumavomereza zimene limanena. Ndimabuku oŵerengeka ankhani zimenezi amene aphunzitsa makhalidwe ngakhale kutchula cholondola ndi cholakwa. Ena amafikiradi pakuwavomereza machitachita oipa. Ndipo ndibukhu lapaderadi limene limanena kuti kugonana kuyenera kukhalapo kokha muukwati.

Chifukwa chake, thayo lakuphunzitsa ana makhalidwe limabwerera kumene Mulungu analiyika poyamba—kwa makolo awo owakonda. Baibulo limauza atate kuti: ‘Mudziwaphunzitsa [malamulo a Mulungu] mwachangu kwa ana anu, ndi kuwalankhula awa pokhala pansi m’nyumba zanu, ndi poyenda inu panjira, ndi pogona inu pansi, ndi powuka inu.’—Deuteronomo 6:7.

Kwenikweni, makolo akhoza kukhala aphunzitsi abwino koposa kwa ana awo. Palibe bukhu kapena sukulu imene ingapose mphamvu ya chikhulupiriro chawo kapena ya chitsanzo chabwino choperekedwa ndi banja. Monga momwe William Bennett ananenera kuti: “Kupenda kumasonyeza kuti pamene makolo akhala magwero aakulu a maphunziro azakugonana, sikwenikweni kuti ana adzadziloŵetsa m’machitachita akugonana. . . . Makolo, kuposa wina aliyense, amachita mbali yaikulu.”

Komabe, makolo ena amawopa kuti ana atadziŵa zimenezi angafune kukayesa. Mwachiwonekere, ichi kwenikweni chimadalira pazimene zikuphunzitsidwa ndi mmene akuziphunzitsira. Chenicheni nchakuti, zivute zitani, tsiku lina achicheperewo adzafikira pakudziŵa zakugonana. Chotero, sikwabwino nanga kuti azidziŵe mwanjira yolondola ndi yolemekezeka kuchokera kwa makolo amakhalidwe abwino ndi owakonda mmalo mwakuphunzitsidwa ndi winawake m’khwalala kapena kusukulu kapena achikulire achisembwere?

Koma funso liripobe: Kodi ndimotani mmene mungaphunzitsire zinthu zimenezi m’njira yaumulungu ndi yolemekezeka? Pamene achichepere amamva kuti “aliyense amachita,” kodi mungawapangitse motani kukhulupirira kuti anthu abwino ndi achimwemwe koposa samatero? Kodi mungawathandize motani kuzindikira kuti kutsatira malamulo a Baibulo ‘akupewa dama’ sikumangotsogolera ku moyo wabwino koposa komanso ndiko njira yokha imene imamkondweretsa Mulungu? Nkhani zotsatira zidzapereka mayankho othandiza a mafunso ofunika kwambiri ameneŵa.—1 Atesalonika 4:3.

Pamene Muyenera Kuyamba ndi Zimene Muyenera Kunena

MAKOLO ambiri osamala amaganiza kuti kuphunzitsa zakugonana kungachitidwe mwakutenga kaulendo kowongola miyendo m’nkhalango kwa mphindi khumi ndi mwana wazaka 13. Koma kaŵirikaŵiri izi zatsimikizira kukhala osati kokha zosakwanira komanso kuchedwa kwambiri. Sizachilendo kumva kholo likunena kuti: “Zonse zimene ndinayesa kuwauza, zinawonekera kuti anazidziŵa kale.”

Kodi iripo njira yabwinopo yophunzitsira nkhani zofunika kwambiri zimenezi? Ngati iripo, kodi nliti pamene makolo ayenera kuyamba, ndipo ayenera kuchitanji ndi kunenanji?

Kuchita mwanzeru, muyenera kuyamba kuyala maziko ophunzitsira malangizo ofunika ameneŵa pafupifupi kuchokera pakubadwa kwa mwanayo. Ngati muyamba mwanayo adakali wamng’ono, mukhoza kupereka chidziŵitsocho modekha, mwapang’onopang’ono malinga ndi nzeru zake.

Pamene makolo asambitsa ana awo aang’ono, angawaphunzitse ziŵalo za thupi lawo kuti: “Ichi nchifuŵa chako . . . mimba yako . . . bondo lako.” A,a! Nanga bwanji alumpha kuchokera pamimba ndikupita kubondo? Kodi ziri pakatipo nzochititsa manyazi? Kapena kodi sizamtseri basi? Nzowona, sitingagwiritsire ntchito mawu omveka otukwana ogwiritsiridwa ntchito m’khwalala potchula ziŵalo zamtseri zimenezi. Koma bwanji osangoti “mpheto yachimuna” kapena “mpheto yachikazi”? Ziŵirizi ndimbali ya chilengedwe cha Mulungu chonenedwa kuti “zinali zabwino ndithu.”—Genesis 1:31; 1 Akorinto 12:21-24.

Pambuyo pake, mwina pomsintha malaya, mukhoza kumuuza ndi mawu abwino kuti anyamata ali ndi mpheto yachimuna ndipo atsikana ali ndi mpheto yachikazi. Mukhoza kufotokoza bwinobwino kuti zinthu zimenezi nzamtseri. Ziyenera kulankhulidwa m’banja mokha, osati ndi ana ena kapena anthu akunja kwa banja.

Motero, mukhoza kulongosola zinthu zambiri zisanakhale zochititsa manyazi, kuyambira paubwana ndi kumapita patsogolo pamene nzeru ya mwana yakuzindikira zinthu ikukula.

Kufotokoza Mmene Kubadwa Kumachitikira

Mwana akafika zaka zitatu mpaka zisanu,a angayambe kulingalira ponena za kubadwa ndipo angafunse kuti: “Kodi ana amachokera kuti?” Mungangoyankha kuti: “Unakula m’malo ofunda otetezereka, m’mimba mwa amayi ako.” Izi mwina zidzamkhutiritsa pakali pano. Nthaŵi ina mwanayo angadzafunse kuti: “Kodi mwana amatuluka bwanji?” Mungayankhe kuti: “Mulungu anapanga chiboo chapadera chotulukirapo mwana.” Nzeru za mwana zakumva zimakhala zazing’ono, choncho mayankho okhweka ndi olunjika ndiwo abwino koposa. Perekani chidziŵitso chofunikira chaching’ono nthaŵi iriyonse, zowonjezereka mukuzisungira mtsogolo.

Ngati makolo ngatcheru, angapeze mipata yambiri yakuphunzitsa. Ngati wachibale wapafupi akuyembekezera kuwona mwana, amayi akhoza kunena kuti: “Alamu ako a Febi mwina adzakhala ndi mwana posachedwapa—ndinali mmene aliri choncho kutatsala milungu ingapo kuti iweyo ubadwe.” Kubadwa kwa mchimwene kapena mchemwali koyembekezeredwa kungapereke miyezi ya kuphunzitsa kwabwino ndi kosangalatsa.

Pambuyo pake mwanayo angazizwe nati: “Kodi mwanayo anayambika motani?” Yankho lokhweka nlakuti: “Mbewu yochokera mwa Atate imakumana ndi dzira mkati mwa amayi ndiyeno mwana amayamba kukula, monga momwe mbewu m’nthaka imakulira kukhala duŵa kapena mtengo.” Nthaŵi ina mwanayo angafunsenso kuti: “Kodi mbewu ya atate imaloŵa bwanji mwa amayi?” Mukhoza kulongosola bwinobwino kuti: “Umadziŵa mmene mnyamata aliri. Iye ali ndi mpheto yachimuna. Amayi ali ndi chiboo pathupi pawo pamene mpheto yachimuna imaloŵa, ndipo mbewuyo imadzalidwa. Ndimmene Mulungu anatipangira kotero kuti ana adziyambikira m’malo abwino ofunda, kufikira atakula pamsinkhu wokhoza kukhala paokha. Pamenepo kamwana kabwino kamabadwa!” Mukhoza kulankhula mosonyeza kuzizwa ndi njira imene Mulungu analinganizira zinthuzi.b

Muyenera kukhala wosamala kusapeŵa mafunsowo mwakuchita manyazi ndikunena kuti: “Ndikakuuza utakulako pang’ono.” Izi zidzakulitsa chilakolako cha ana chofuna kudziŵa ndipo zingawasonkhezere kukafunsa kwa anthu osayenera. Mwana wokhoza kufunsa mafunso akhozanso kumva yankho lokhweka laulemu. Kulephera kwanu kuwapatsa yankho kungapangitse ana anu kuleka kudalira pa inu kaamba ka kudziŵa zinthu.

Muyenera Kuyamba Mwamsanga Chotani?

Makolo ambiri amalingalira kuti ana awo ayenera kudziŵa zoyambirira za zinthuzi asanayambe kupita kusukulu, kumene angakamve zosalongosoka kwa ana ena.

Agogo ŵamuna anafotokoza kuti: “Sindinafunsepo mafunso aliwonse, koma pamene ndinafika zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi, atate anaganiza kuti nthaŵi inakwanira yondifotokozera kumene ana amachokera. Iwo ananena kuti kugwirizana kwakugonana kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi kumene kungatulutse mwana kunali kwachibadwa mofanana ndi kudya, koma Mulungu anati izi ziyenera kuchitidwa kokha ndi anthu okwatirana. Motero, nthaŵi zonse pamakhala amayi ndi atate amene amamkonda mwanayo ndi kumsamalira.” Agogo ameneŵa anawonjezera kuti: “Malongosoledwe amene anandipatsa anabwera panthaŵi yake. Ndinali nditawonapo kale ana azaka zisanu ndi chimodzi akuseka zithunzithunzi zachisembwere zomwe anazijambula zimene sindinadziŵe chimene zinatanthauza.”

Ndithudi, malongosoledwe oterowo ayenera kuperekedwa, osati monga chinthu chochititsa manyazi, koma monga chinthu chamtseri. Mukhoza kumachenjeza nthaŵi zonse kuti ndichinsinsi cha m’banja chimene sichiyenera kutchulidwa kwa ana ena kapena anthu akunja kwa banja. Ngati mwana wanu ataya mkamwa pazimenezi, mukhoza kumpapasa ndikuti: “Shhh! Kumbukira, icho ndichinsinsi chathu. Timachilankhulira m’banja mwathu mokha.”

Sizochititsa Kakasi

Ngati chifuno chakukambitsirana zimenezi chichititsa kakasi woŵerenga aliyense, tangolingalirani zakuchuluka kwa makolo achichepere osamala amene akufunafuna njira yaulemu yofotokozera nkhani zimenezi kwa ana awo. Kodi malongosoledwe achindunji m’banja lachikondi sali abwino koposa njira imene makolo ambiri anaphunzirira zimenezi, mwanjira zonyansa kunja kwa banja?

Ngati mumamvetseradi ndipo ngati mumayankha mafunso mwanjira yokhweka ndi yaulemu, mudzakupangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa ana anu kubwera kwa inu ndi mafunso ena pamene akukula ndi pamene afuna kudziŵa zochulukirapo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Kubadwa kwa mwana koyandikira kumapatsa mwaŵi wakupereka malangizo othandiza

Kuyamba Mwamsanga Kuli Kofunika

ANA ACHICHEPERE ayenera kupatsidwa malongosoledwe okwanira a mmene mathupi awo amagwirira ntchito ndi mmene angadzichinjizirire kwa anthu amakhalidwe oipa. Koma kodi malangizowo ayenera kuyamba liti? Mwamsanga kuposa ndi mmene ambiri amaganizira.

Nyengo yakuyamba kukhwima imayambira paunamwali, msinkhu umene zizindikiro za kukula m’zakugonana zimayamba kuwonekera. Msungwana angayambe kusamba pamsinkhu wazaka 10 kapena ngakhale asanafikepo kapena pazaka 16 kapena pambuyo pake. Mnyamata angayambe kutulutsa ubwamuna kutulo pamsinkhu wazaka 11 kapena 12. Kodi ana anu adzakhala akudziŵa zimenezo panthaŵiyo, tinene kuti pamsinkhu wazaka zisanu ndi zinayi?a Kodi iwo adzadziŵanso pausinkhu waung’ono umenewo kufunika kwa kusunga chinamwali chawo?

Azoloŵetseni ndi Masithidwe Athupi

Mwana wanu wamkazi ali nako kuyenerera kwakudziŵa masinthidwe operekedwa ndi Mulungu amene adzachitika kuthupi lake. Amayi angamuuze za kusamba kwawo ndi kusonyeza mwanayo zimene iwo amagwiritsira ntchito kuchinjiriza mwaziwo. Ayenera kufotokoza kuti masinthidwe ameneŵa ali zochitika za thupi zachibadwa. M’njira yotsimikizira kwambiri, amayi akhoza kufotokoza kuti thupi lamwanayo lidzakhala likukonzekera, kwa zaka zakutizakuti kuchokera tsopano, pamene angadzakwatiwe ndi kukhala amayi nayenso. Amayi akhoza kulongosolera mwana wawo wamkazi kuti thupi limakonzera mwana m’mimba ganda lapadera lofeŵa, lokhala ndi mitsemba yambiri yamwazi. Ngati mimba yamwana sinakhale, gandalo limachoka ndi kutulukira pa mpheto yachikazi, ndipo kachitidwe kameneka kamatchedwa kusamba.

Mofananamo, mwana wanu wamwamuna ayenera kudziŵiratu ponena za kutulutsa ubwamuna kutulo. (Deuteronomo 23:10, 11) Iye ayenera kumvetsetsa kuti kutulutsa madzi otelera, nthaŵi zina pamene akulota, kuli chabe njira yathupi yotaila ubwamuna wochulukitsitsa m’thupi. Ponse paŵiri ana anu aamuna ndi aakazi ayenera kudziŵa kuti palibe cholakwa ndi masinthidwe ameneŵa ochitika m’mathupi awo. Mathupi awo akungodzikonzekeretsa ukwati umene ungakhaleko mtsogolo ndi ukholo.b

Monga makolo, muyenera kuwona nkhani zimenezi mwamphamvu, popeza kuti ndinkhani zaumulungu. Ndipo ndinu aphunzitsi amene Mulungu waika.

Kodi Kugonana Kotetezereka Nkotani?

Pamene zaka zikufulumira ndipo achichepere anu akuloŵa muunyamata wawo, muyenera kutsimikizira kuti iwo akudziŵa kuti kugonana kwa anthu osakwatirana nkwaupandu, mosasamala kanthu ndi zosiyana zimene angakhale anazimva. Matenda opatsirana mwakugonana, kuphatikizapo AIDS, akhala mliri wadziko lonse. Matenda oterowo angapangitse munthu kuleka kubala, kubala mwana wopunduka, kansa, ndipo ngakhale imfa. Ndiponso, matendawo angapatsiridwe ndi anthu amene sakudziŵa kuti ali nawo.

Ana anu ayenera kudziŵa kuti palibe njira yochinjiriza iriyonse imene yatsimikizira kukhala yodalirika kotheratu kaya m’kuletsa kutenga mimba kapena matenda. Kwenikweni, chiŵerengero chachikulu kwambiri cha achichepere amene amagwiritsira ntchito njira zochinjiriza zosiyanasiyana amatenga mimba. Ndipo ngakhale kuti makondomu (condom) amalengezedwa kukhala otetezera kutenga matenda a AIDS pogonana ndi wowadwala, The New England Journal of Medicine inanena kuti makondomu amalephera kuchinjiriza kachirombo ka AIDS paukulu wa 17 peresenti panthaŵiyo.

Chotero, wolemba nkhani m’magazini a New York Post Ray Kerrison anatsutsa kunena kwakuti makondomu ‘amachepetsa upandu wakutenga AIDS’ pamene analemba kuti: “Kuchepetsa! Ngati musopera chipolopolo m’mfuti, ndiyeno nkumaiseŵeretsa mwakumaizunguza ndi kudziloza nayo, mudzakhala ndi mpata umodzi mwa isanu ndi umodzi wakudzipha nokha. Ponena za kondomu, mumakhala ndi mpata umodzi mwa isanu wakutenga AIDS. Tsopano tikhoza kutcha kondomu ndi dzina lake lenileni lakuti bodza la AIDS. Ndiyo mfuti yakugonana.”

Ana anu ayenera kudziŵa kuti mankhwala a vuto la matenda akupatsirana mwakugonana ngosavuta. Ndiwo kutsatira makonzedwe a Mulungu akugwiritsira ntchito mphatso yaumulungu yakubalana. Ndithudi, kugonana kotetezereka kuli muukwati, umodzi wa moyo wonse ndi munthu mmodzi yekha wokondana naye amene nayenso sakhala ndi ogonana nawo ena.

Malangizo a Mulungu ndiwo Chitetezo

Baibulo limanena kuti: “Mwamuna . . . adzadziphatika kwa mkazi wake.” ‘Usachite chigololo.’ ‘Koma dama . . . lisatchulidwe ndi kutchulidwa komwe mwa inu.’ ‘Wadama yense . . . alibe choloŵa muufumu wa Kristu ndi Mulungu.’—Genesis 2:24; Mateyu 5:27; Aefeso 5:3, 5.

Malangizo ameneŵa sali otsendereza. Mmalomwake, kuwatsatira kudzapangitsa banja kukhala lachimwemwe ndi logwirizana mwathithithi. Mwana woyembekezeredwa kubadwa adzapatsidwa kanthu kena komwe akukayenerera—makolo aŵiri, amayi ndi atate. Aliyense wa iwo ali ndi mikhalidwe yosiyana, ndipo aliyense angathandizire ku moyo wa mwana zinthu zimene winayo alibe.

Monga makolo, ponse paŵiri mwakuphunzitsa kwanu ndi chitsanzo chimene muchipereka, muyenera kukhomereza zolimba mumtima ndi maganizo a mwana wanu malamulo amakhalidwe abwino ozikidwa pa Baibulo. Muyenera kumanga ndi milimo yolimba—yosagwira moto. Monga momwe Baibulo limanenera kuti: ‘Ntchito ya yense idzawonetsedwa; pakuti tsikulo lidzaisonyeza, chifukwa kuti yavumbuluka m’moto; ndipo moto wokha udzayesera ntchito ya yense ikhala yotani.’ Ngati mumanga zolimba ndipo ntchito yanu siwonongeka, mudzadalitsidwa molemera.—1 Akorinto 3:13.

Koma funso lofunika kwambiri ndi ili: Kodi mungasungitse motani kuphunzitsa kumeneku pamene ana anu akupyola m’zaka zawo zaunyamata kulinga ku uchikulire?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 8]

Kukonzekeretsa ana anu masinthidwe athupi nkofunika kwambiri

Azaka 13 Mpaka 19, Amsinkhu Wovuta Kuchita Nawo

AZAKA 13 mpaka 19 akuzingidwa ndi mauthenga odzutsa nyere. Mawu azakugonana amagwiritsiridwa ntchito kutsatsa malonda a chirichonse kuyambira pa nsapato mpaka malaya ansalu za jini. Nyimbo zamakono nzodzala mawu ochirikiza kugonana. Anthu achikulire osonyezedwa pa wailesi yakanema amawonekedwe okongola amasinthasinthu zitsamwali zogonana nazo. Koma kodi zimenezi nzoyenera?

Nyuzipepala yaikulu ya ku Amereka inanena kuti “makanema ochuluka azakugonana osonyezedwa” panthaŵi imene anthu ambiri amakhala akupenyerera TV amasonyeza “kulinganiza programu kochititsa kakasi ndi kosasamala.” The Journal of the American Medical Association inakutcha “kuulutsa zosangulutsa ndi kutsatsa malonda koluluza achichepere.”

Muyenera kutsimikizira kuti ana anu amadziŵa kuti sialiyense amene amachita zimenezo. Ngakhale ngati, monga momwe zikumvekera, theka la asungwana azaka 17 ku Amereka anachitapo kale kugonana, zimenezo zimatanthauzanso kuti theka linalo sanatero. Monga momwe yemwe kale anali Mlembi wa Unduna wa Zamaphunziro wa United States William J. Bennett ananenera kuti: “‘Sialiyense’ amene amachita, ndipo tingakonde kupatsa achichepere amenewo—amene nditheka la azaka khumi ndi zisanu mphambu ziŵiri amenewo—chilimbikitso ndi chichirikizo.”

Iye ananena kuti kupenda kochitidwa m’chipatala chotchedwa Grady Memorial Hospital mu Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A., kunasonyeza kuti pa asungwana 10 amene sanafikebe zaka 16, okwanira 9 “anafuna kuphunzira mmene anganenere kuti ‘ndakana’ pazakugonana.” Kodi mukhoza kuwathandiza ana anu kukhutira kuti, kuyankha ndi liwu lamphamvu kuti ndakana ndiko yankho lokha loyenera lokanira chisembwere, osati kukana kofooka kozengereza? Kodi mungawathandize kuzindikira kuti anthu aulemu adzawalemekeza kaamba ka chimenechi? Wazaka 13 mpaka 19 wadzina la Emily anauza nyuzipepala ya ku California, U.S.A., kuti: “Anthu olemekezeka kwambiri samachita kugonana.”

Muyenera kuthandiza achichepere anu kuzindikira kuti kugonana kuli ndi mphamvu yaikulu—ndikwamphamvu kotero kuti kunabala fuko lonse la anthu. Komabe, izi sizitanthauza kuti sikungalamuliridwe. Mmalomwake, zimatanthauza kuti mofanana ndi galimoto lothamanga kwambiri lochitira makani aliŵiro, liyenera kuyendetsedwa bwino, motsatira malamulo apamsewu. Kunyalanyaza malamulowo panjira yokhotakhota yam’mapiri kungachititse tsoka. Kunyalanyaza malamulo azakugonana operekedwa ndi Mulungu kudzakhala ndi zotulukapo zofananazo. Kodi ndimotani mmene mungathandizire ana anu, amene mumawakonda kwambiri, kuzindikira mfundo imeneyi?

Aphunzitseni Kuti Chiyero Chiri ndi Phindu

Kambitsiranani ndi achichepere anu chitsanzo chabwino cha m’Baibulo cha msungwana wokongola Wachisulami. Iye anatha kunena monyandira kuti: ‘Ndine khoma, maŵere anga akunga nsanja zake.’ Anali wamakhalidwe onga khoma lolimba la linga lokhala ndi nsanja zosafikirika. Ndipo kwa wodzakhala mkwati wake, anali ngati “wopeza mtendere.” Inde, mtendere wamaganizo wosadodometsedwa ndi chisoni chapambuyo pake uli phindu lolemera la chiyero.—Nyimbo ya Solomo 8:10.

Koma kodi ndimotani mmene wachichepere angakhalire wolimba m’makhalidwe, monga khoma? Asanayang’anizane ndi nkhani zimenezo, muyenera kutsimikizira kuti mwana wanuyo womatha msinkhu akudziŵa kufunika kwa kudzichinjiriza mwakupeŵa mikhalidwe imene ingatsogolera, ndipo imatero kaŵirikaŵiri, ku chisembwere. Mwachitsanzo, iwo ayenera kudziŵa kuti monga momwe kuledzera poyendetsa galimoto kungachititsire ngozi, momwenso kungachititse ngozi kupita kuphwando la achichepere kumene ena abweretsa zakumwa zoledzeretsa kapena kumene kulibe mkulu woyang’anira.

Mofananamo, athandizeni kuzindikira kuti kukhala okha aŵiri m’nyumba (kapena m’chipinda) ndi wachichepere mnzawo wosiyana naye ziŵalo kumakhala kudziika pachiyeso. Achichepere ayenera kudziŵa bwino upandu wakulola aliyense wosakhala mnzawo wamuukwati kugwira mbali zawo zathupi zosayenera, kuphatikizapo maŵere. Afotokozereni kuti kunyengedwa kumayamba ndi kugwira mbali zathupi koteroko kodzutsa nyere.—Yerekezerani ndi 1 Akorinto 7:1.

Muyenera kuthandiza ana anu okondedwa kudziŵa kuti chikondi chenicheni chimatanthauza zoposa kugonana ndikuti kugonana kwakunja kwaukwati nkolakwa. Achichepere ena amayamba kugonana asanakwatirane. Iwo angakhale anagonana ndi anzawo ambiri koma osakwatirana konse. Ndiyeno, pamene zaka zipita ndipo awona kuti tsopano afunadi mnzawo wamuukwati, amakhala osungulumwa ndi osiidwa okha. Indedi, iwo sanatomere aliyense, komanso palibe amene anatomerana nawo.

Ana anu aamuna ndi aakazi ayenera kudziŵa kuti chinamwali chawo nchamtengo wapatali kwambiri chosayenera kuchitaya muja titaira madzi am’chimbudzi. Mthandizeni mwana wanu kuwona kuti chisangalalo chotheratu chakugonana chingapezeke kokha m’makonzedwe opatulika aukwati. Baibulo limanena m’mawu okoma andakatulo kuti: ‘Imwa madzi a m’chitsime mwako, ndi madzi oyenda a m’kasupe mwako. Kodi magwero ako ayenera kumwazikana kunja, ndi mitsinje ya madzi m’khwalala? Adalitsike kasupe wako; ukondwere ndi mkazi wokula naye.’—Miyambo 5:15, 16, 18.

Monga makolo achikondi, muyenera kuyesayesa zolimba kuphunzitsa zenizeni zimenezi. Ichi nchitokoso chapadera lerolino, popeza kuti kutenga mimba kwa osakwatira kumavomerezedwa ndi ambiri. Lillian, namwino wa anakubala, akunena kuti sizimamdabwitsanso kuwona atate wosakwatira wazaka 15 wochita chisoni pamene agogo onyadira ampatsa khanda limene sali wolikonzekera, wosalifuna, ndi kulikana.

Wopereka ndemanga pawailesi yakanema ananena kuti “akazi osakwatiwa achichepere kwambiri okhala ndi ana” kaŵirikaŵiri samakhoza kumaliza sukulu, kupeza ntchito, kapena kulera ana awo m’njira yabwino. Amayi achichepere ameneŵa, iye anatero, “amagwidwa mumsampha wa masoka odzidzetsera okha. . . . Umphaŵi umakhala wosapeŵeka ndipo umapitiriza kwa ana awowonso.”

Chitsanzo Chimene Muchipereka

Mayendedwe anu adzakhala ndi chisonkhezero champhamvu pa ana anu. Nthaŵi zina zimenezi zingachitike mwanjira zimene simungalingalire. Kodi nchiyani chimachitika ngati atate ali achimasomaso? Kapena pamene amayi amangoti, “Hi, akongolerenji mwamuna uja!” pamene mwamuna wamawonekedwe abwino adutsa? Kodi makolo oterowo amalimbikitsa ana awo kusunga chiyero chawo? Ngati mumakhumbira mawonekedwe a munthu, kodi muyenera kudabwa ngati ana anu akondetsa mawonekedwe akunja kuposa makhalidwe abwino, kukoma mtima, chikondi chenicheni, kapena kudzipereka kwa munthu kwa Mulungu?

Chotero kuphunzitsa ana anu zimene afunikira kudziŵa ponena zakugonana kumaphatikizapo zoposa zimene mwina munazilingalira. Kumaphatikizapo kaimidwe kanu kamaganizo, mkhalidwe wanu panyumba, kufunitsitsa kwanu kuwaphunzitsa ana anu adakali ang’ono, limodzinso ndi chitsanzo chimene mumachipereka. Ndithudi, zonsezi zimafuna nthaŵi ndi kuyesayesa zolimba, koma mphotho yake njaikulu!

Kodi Simunawaphunzitsebe?

Koma bwanji ngati ana anu ali kale pafupi ndi kutha msinkhu, ndipo simunakambitsiranebe nawo zinthuzi? Mukhoza kunena kuti: “Pepani, ndinalakwa kuyembekezera kwanthaŵi yaitali ndisanakambitsirane nanu zinthuzi, koma ndifunadi kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino koposa, choncho ndiyenera kuyesa tsopano.”

Indedi, ziribwino kukambitsirana nkhanizi ndi ana anu ngakhale atakulako kale kuposa kulekeratu. Kuphunzitsa ana anu makhalidwe abwino ndithayo lofunika kwambiri ndi mwaŵi wapadera. Ron Moglia wa pa Yunivesiti ya New York anati: “Kholo lirilonse limene limanyalanyaza thayo lakulankhula ndi mwana wake ponena za kugonana limaphonya chimodzi cha zokumana nazo zabwino koposa.”

Ngati munadziŵa posachedwapa za ziyeneretso zamakhalidwe abwino za Mulungu ndipo ana anu amadziŵa kuti kale simunkazitsatira, adziŵitseni chimene tsopano mwasinthira. Mungawapemphe kuŵerenga magazini ano ndiyeno pangani makonzedwe akukambitsirana chidziŵitso chopezekamo. Simuyenera kulefulidwa ndi wachichepere amene anena kuti: “O, ndidziŵa zonsezo!” Malingaliro otengedwa kusukulu kapena m’nkhani zosimbidwa, ngakhale kuyesa kugonana sizingaloŵe m’malo chitsogozo chabwino cha makhalidwe abwino. Chowonadi nchakuti umbuli ungatsogolere ku tsoka.

Kuphunzitsa ana anu kungafune kuyesayesa kwakukulu, koma mphotho yake ingakhale yoposa! Monga momwe Baibulo limanenera, mokhweka ndi momvekera bwino kuti: ‘Wolungama woyenda mwangwiro, anake adala pambuyo pake.’—Miyambo 20:7.