Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingathandize Motani Kholo Langa Limodzi?

“Kukhala kholo limodzi kuli ngati kukhala woŵakha mpira. Pambuyo pakuyesera kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, inu pomalizira pake mukhoza kuponya ndi kuŵakha mipira inayi panthaŵi imodzi. Koma pamene mwangokhoza kumene kuchita tero, winawake akuponyerani mpira watsopano!”—Kholo limodzi.

NTCHITO ya kholo limodzi njotopetsa, kaŵirikaŵiri yosapatsa mpumulo. Ndipo ngati amayi anu ali kholo limodzi, mosakaikira muyenera kuzindikira kuti iwo angafunikire thandizo.a Koma monga wachichepere, inu mukuyang’anizana ndi nthaŵi imene wolemba wina anaitcha “nthaŵi yopsinja ndi yowopsa koposa m’moyo.” Zingawonekere kwa inu kuti kulaka uchichepere kuli vuto lokukwanirani.

Ngakhale kuli choncho, mofanana ndi kholo limodzi logwidwa mawu poyambapo, amayi ŵanu nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi angadzimve kukhala ovutitsidwa, akumayesayesa kukhala ponse paŵiri amayi ndi atate kwa inu. Nzowona, Yehova samayembekezera zosatheka kwa aliyense. Monga momwe lamulo lina lamakhalidwe abwino la m’Baibulo limanenera kuti: “Chinthu chofunika ndicho kukhala wofunitsitsa kupatsa zochuluka monga momwe tingakhozere—ndizo zimene Mulungu amalandira.” (2 Akorinto 8:12, Phillips) Chikhalirechobe, iwo angadzimve kukhala pansi pa chipsinjo chachikulu. Kodi mudzangonyalanyaza vuto lawo, kapena kodi pali chifukwa chabwino chirichonse chakuti muyeseyese kuthandiza?

“Kubwezera”

Pa 1 Petro 3:8, Akristu akuuzidwa kuti: ‘Chotsalira, khalani nonse a mtima umodzi, ochitirana chifundo.’ Chotero pamlingo uliwonse, kodi kuchitira chifundo kholo lanu sikuyenera kukufulumizani kuwathandiza amayi ŵanu? Ndithudi, ‘ncholandirika pamaso pa Mulungu’ kuti achichepere Achikristu apitirizebe ‘kubwezera akuwabala.’—1 Timoteo 5:4.

Pamene kuli kwakuti lembali mosakaikira limatanthauza kuthandiza m’zandalama kholo lamasiye, ilo limaphunzitsa lamulo lamakhalidwe abwino lofunika kwambiri: Tiri ndi mangawa kwa makolo athu oposa omwe tingakhoze kulipira. Ndipo pamene akhala nako kusoŵa, liri thayo ndi mwaŵi wathu kuyesayesa kuwabwezera. Mwachitsanzo, achichepere ena adzagwiritsira ntchito ena kapena onse a malipiro awo a ntchito yaganyu kuthandiza kulipirira ngongole zapanyumba. Ichi chimasonyeza kuthokoza kwenikweni ndi chiyamikiro!

Komabe, chithandizo cha ndalama changokhala njira imodzi yolipirira makolo anu “kubwezera.” Sikuti muyenera kuyesayesa kuloŵa m’malo kholo lanu lina limene palibepo—nkosatheka—ndipo simufunikira kukhwethemuka ndi nkhaŵa, ndikumalingalira kuti muli ndi thayo lonse lakusamalira zonse za m’banjamo. Iyo ikadali ntchito ya amayi ŵanu monga kholo. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 31:27.) Koma pali njira zambiri zothandiza zimene mungadzitsimikizire nazo kuti ndinu wofunika kwenikweni kwa amayi ŵanu ngati iwo ali kholo limodzi.

Kumvera Kumapeputsira Amayi Mtolo

Njira ina ndiyo kungotsatira lamulo la pa Akolose 3:20 lakuti: ‘Ana inu, mverani akubala inu m’zonse, pakuti ichi Ambuye akondwera nacho.’ Inu mungathe kuloŵeza lembali pamtima. Koma kodi nthaŵi zina mumalephera kulilabadira?

Kholo limodzi lina lokhala ndi mwana wake wachinyamata limagwira ntchito kwa maola ambiri kuti lipezere banja lake zofunika. Koma ilo likudandaula kuti: ‘Mwana wanga amawonjezera mavuto ku moyo pamene sandimvera ine.” Mwana wakeyo amatinso: “Ndine mwamuna ndekha m’nyumba. Ndine wozinzana kuposa amayi ŵanga, chotero nthaŵi zina ndimakupeza kukhala kovuta kwambiri kuwamvera ndi kuwapatsa ulemu monga mutu wabanja.”

Kukula thupi kwanu kapena kukhala mwamuna sikumakupatulani ku lamulo la Yehova lakuti: ‘Usasiye malamulo a amako.’ (Miyambo 6:20) Amayi ŵanu anapatsidwa mphamvu ndi Mulungu kupanga malamulo, kapena malangizo apanyumba. Inu muyenera kuwapatsa ulemu ndi kuwamvera. Ngati ndinu mwamuna, Amayi mwachikondi angakuitaneni kuti mwamuna wa nyumbayo. Koma iwo ali mutu wa nyumbayo! Ndipo mwakuwamvera—osati kutsutsana nawo nthaŵi zonse pamene akupemphani kuchita chinachake—mumapeputsa mtolo wawo ndikupangitsa mtendere m’banja lanu.

Thandizani Ntchito Zapanyumba

Njira ina yopeputsira mtolo wa kholo lanu ndiyo kuthandiza ntchito zapanyumba—osadikirira kukufikira mutakakamizidwa kuzichita. ‘Koma Amayi samandipempha kuchita kalikonse,’ inu mungatsutse motero. Modabwitsa, kaŵirikaŵiri ndimmene zimakhalira. Monga momwe Carol V. Murdock analembera kuti: “Amayi kapena Abambo omwe ali Okha amadzandira ndi mtolo wa zochapa wolemera akudutsa pachipinda chochezera—apo nkuti ana atatu ali maso dwii pa wailesi yakanema.”—Single Parents Are People, Too!

Kodi nchifukwa ninji makolo ambiri omwe ali okha amafuna zochepa motero kwa ana awo? Amayi wina wokhala yekha analingalira kuti: “Sindimafuna mwana wanga wamkazi kumaphonya chosangulutsa chirichonse chifukwa cha ntchito imene ndiyenera kuichita. Ndimawopa kuti iye angandide.” Wina anati: “Umafuna kukwaniritsa mbali ya kholo lina limene palibepo mwakuwapeputsira zinthu anawo.” Komabe, mfundo yeniyeni ya malingaliro oterowo ingakhale liŵongo losalungamitsika la kholo lanu. Iwo angadzimve aliŵongo chifukwa chakuti kugwira ntchito kumawapangitsa kusakhala nanu. Kapena angadzimve kukhala aliŵongo ponena za kulephera kwa ukwati wawo, akumalingalira kuti ndiwo ali ndi mlandu wochititsa inuyo kukhala m’nyumba ya kholo limodzi.

Mogwirizana ndi Dr. Richard A. Gardner, mkonzi wa bukhu lakuti The Boys and Girls Book About Divorce, achichepere ena amadyerera mkhalidwewo. Iwo amafuna kuchitiridwa chifundo ndikukana kukhala ndi phande m’ntchito zapanyumba. Komabe, izi zimatikumbutsa za mkhalidwe wopanda chifundo wosonyezedwa ndi atsogoleri achipembedzo a m’tsiku la Yesu. Yesu anati ponena za iwo: ‘Amanga akatundu olemera, komabe iwo safuna ngakhale kuwasuntha ndi chala akatunduwo kuthandiza kuwasenza.’—Mateyu 23:4, Today’s English Version.

Sonyezani mkhalidwe wosiyana. Peŵani kuwonjezera pa mtolo wa amayi ŵanu; musadzipatule ku ntchito zapanyumba.

Kuyamba Nokha

Ichi chingatanthauze kuchita zimene mufunikira kuchita popanda kupemphedwa. Talingalirani mmene Tony wachichepere amapeputsira mtolo wa amake. Iye akuti: “Amayi ŵanga amagwira ntchito m’chipatala, ndipo yunifomu yawo imafunikira kusitidwa. Chotero ndimawasitira.” Koma kodi imeneyo sintchito ya akazi? “Ena amaganiza choncho,” akuyankha motero Tony. “Koma imawathandiza amayi, chotero ndimaichita.”

Kuwonjezera pa kupereka chithandizo, mungachitenso zochuluka kulimbikitsanso amayi ŵanu mwakungokamba mawu oyamikira. Kholo limodzi lina linalemba kuti: “Kaŵirikaŵiri ndimapeza kuti pamene ndiri wosakondwa kapena wamtima wapachala chifukwa cha tsiku lopereka chiyeso ku ntchito ndipo ndifika panyumba—limakhala tsiku limene mwana wanga wamkazi wasankha kuika zinthu pathebulo ndikukonzekera chakudya chamadzulo.” Iye akuwonjezera kuti: “Mwana wanga wamwamuna amandikupatira ndikunena, ‘Ndinu amayi wabwino koposa m’dziko.’” Kodi iwo amakhudzidwa motani ndi machitidwe olingalira oterowo? Iye akupitiriza kuti: “Malingaliro anga onse amasintha ndikukhala abwinopo.”

‘Yendanibe m’Chowonadi’

‘Ndiribe chimwemwe choposa ichi, chakuti ndimva za ana anga kuti alikuyenda m’chowonadi.’ (3 Yohane 4) Mtumwi Yohane panopa analankhula za ana ake auzimu. Ngati amayi anu ndi Mkristu, mosakaikira amalingalira mofananamo ponena za inu; amafuna kuti inu muyende m’chowonadi. Kaamba ka chimenecho iwo angapange makonzedwe a phunziro Labaibulo labanja lokhazikika ndi inu.

Kuchititsa phunzirolo sikungakhale kopepuka kwa iwo pambuyo pa ntchito yotopetsa ya tsikulo. Ndipo ngati inuyo sindinu wogwirizanika kapena ndinu wodandaula, phunziro la banja lingakhale chiyeso kwa aliyense wokhudzidwa. Chotero khalani wogwirizanika! Khalani wokonzekera kuphunzira pamene nthaŵi yondandalitsidwa ifika. Konzekerani maphunziro anu pasadakhale. Kugwirizanika kwanu kungakhale chisonkhezero chimene kholo lanu likuchifunikira kuti lipange phunzirolo kukhala lokhazikika. Pamene mupezeka pamisonkhano Yachikristu ndi kukhala ndi phande m’ntchito yolalikira kunyumba ndi nyumba popanda kukokosedwa, nanunso mumasonyeza kuti mukuyenda m’chowonadi. (Mateyu 24:14; Ahebri 10:24, 25) Mwanjirayi mumawatsimikiziritsa amayi ŵanu kuti zoyesayesa zawo sizikupita mwachabe!

Mapindu Ake

Miyambo 3:27 imati: ‘Oyenera kulandira zabwino usawamane; pokhoza dzanja lako kuwachitira zabwino.’ Mwachiwonekere, inu muyenera kulilingalira motero kholo lanu. Ndipo pamene mulipatsa, mumakondweretsa osati ilo lokha komanso Yehova Mulungu iyemwini. Phindu lina: Kholo lanu lidzakhala ndi maganizo abwino kukupatsani chithandizo pamene mukuchifunikira.

Chomalizira, kuthandiza ena kumakulitsa mikhalidwe yabwino. Monga momwe wolemba wina ananenera kuti: “Achichepere amafunikira mwaŵi wakulingalira kuti akuthandiza ndikupatsa ena. Pamene sakhala ndi chirichonse cha zokumana nazo zimenezi, iwo sangadziŵe nyonga zawozawo ndikukhalitsa [zimene zimabwera] mwakudziŵa kuti iwo amakhala anthu abwino othandiza ena.” Monga momwe Yesu iyemwini ananenera kuti: ‘Kupatsa kutidalitsa koposa kulandira.’ (Machitidwe 20:35) Ndipo mungakhale ndi chimwemwe chachikulu ngati mumasamalira kuthandiza kholo lanu lokhala lokha.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Zithunzi patsamba 14]

Wachichepere waulesi kapena wosadera nkhaŵa amawonjezera chipsinjo ku moyo wa kholo lake . . . Amene amathandiza ntchito zapanyumba amapeputsa mtolo wa amayi ŵake