Bebe ankagwirizana kwambiri ndi bambo ake. Koma anakhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa, kwa iyeyo zinali ngati mnzakeyo akungomutsutsula pabala. Bebe ankangokhalira kunena kuti, “Si zoona kuti pali chabwino chilichonse ndi imfa ya bambo angayi.” Patapita zaka zambiri, Bebe analemba buku lofotokoza mmene bambo ake anafera ndipo zimene ananena m’bukuli zinasonyeza kuti pa nthawiyi anali adakali ndi chisoni.

Zimene zinachitikira Bebe zikusonyeza kuti munthu akhoza kukhala ndi chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali, makamaka ngati womwalirayo ankagwirizana naye kwambiri. Mpake kuti Baibulo limati imfa ndi “mdani womalizira.” (1 Akorinto 15:26) Kunena zoona, imfa imasokoneza zinthu zambiri makamaka ngati sitimayembekezera kuti munthuyo angamwalire. Ndipo imfa ndi yosazolowereka. N’chifukwa chake imfa imathetsa nzeru anthu ambiri omwe aferedwa, moti nthawi zina amakhalabe ndi chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali.

Koma mwina mumadzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi zimatenga nthawi yaitali bwanji kuti chisoni chithe? Kodi munthu angatani kuti apirire imfa ya munthu amene ankamukonda? Nanga ndingatonthoze bwanji anthu amene ali ndi chisoni? Kodi anthu amene anamwalira angadzakhalenso ndi moyo?’

Kodi munayamba mwavutikapo ndi ululu waukulu mutadwala kwa nthawi yochepa? N’kutheka kuti munaiwala za ululuwo chifukwa choti munachira pasanapite nthawi. Koma zimenezi n’zosiyana kwambiri ndi chisoni. Munthu wina dzina lake Alan Wolfelt analemba m’buku lake kuti, “Si zoona kuti chisoni cha munthu yemwe m’bale wake wamwalira ‘chimatha mwamsanga.’” (Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart) Iye ananenanso kuti: “Chisoni chimachepa pakapita nthawi komanso anthu ena akamakuthandiza.”

Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani mmene Abulahamu anamvera mkazi wake atamwalira. Baibulo limanena kuti, “Abulahamu anayamba kumulira Sara.” (Genesis 23:2, Baibulo la Dziko Latsopano, lokonzedwanso la Chingelezi) Mawu akuti “anayamba,” akusonyeza kuti Abulahamu anakhalabe ndi chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali.a Chitsanzo china ndi cha Yakobo yemwe anapusitsidwa ndi ana ake kuti Yosefe wadyedwa ndi chilombo. Yakobo anamulira mwana wake kwa “masiku ambiri” ndipo ana ake onse anakanika kumutonthoza. Patapita zaka zambiri Yakobo ankavutikabe ndi chisoni chifukwa cha imfa ya mwana wakeyu.—Genesis 37:34, 35; 42:36; 45:28.

Masiku anonso anthu ambiri amavutika ndi chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali munthu amene ankamukonda akamwalira. Tiyeni tione zitsanzo za anthu angapo.

• Mayi wina dzina lake Gail, yemwe panopa ali ndi zaka 60, anati: “Mwamuna wanga Robert, anamwalira pa 9 July, mu 2008, atachita ngozi. Patsikuli zinthu zinali bwinobwino ngati mmene zinkakhalira masiku onse. Titamaliza kudya chakudya cham’mawa tinatsanzikana ndipo ananyamuka n’kumapita kuntchito. Panopa padutsa zaka 6 chimwalilireni mwamuna wangayo, koma ndimaona kuti sindidzaiwala imfa yake.”

• Bambo wina wazaka 84 dzina lake Etienne, anati: “Ngakhale kuti panopa padutsa zaka 18 chimwalilireni mkazi wanga, ndidakali ndi chisoni chachikulu chifukwa cha imfa yake. Ndikaona chinachake chosangalatsa m’chilengedwe, ndimayamba kumukumbukira ndipo ndimaganizira mmene akanasangalalira kuona zinthu ngati zimenezi.”

Choncho, sikulakwa kumva chisoni kwa nthawi yaitali chifukwa cha imfa ya munthu amene tinkamukonda. Ndipo n’zimene zimachitikira anthu ambiri. Tisaiwalenso kuti anthu amasonyeza chisoni mosiyanasiyana, ndiye kungakhale kulakwa kudzudzula munthu chifukwa cha mmene akusonyezera chisoni. Komanso tisamadziimbe mlandu poganiza kuti tili ndi chisoni chopitirira malire. Komano n’chiyani chomwe chingatithandize pa nthawi yomwe tili ndi chisoni?

Pali malangizo osiyanasiyana okhudza zimene anthu angachite ngati ali ndi chisoni. Komabe, sikuti malangizo onse amene amaperekedwa amakhala othandiza. Mwachitsanzo, mukakhala ndi chisoni anthu ena angakuuzeni kuti musalire komanso musasonyeze mmene mukumvera. Pomwe ena angakukakamizeni kuti mulire komanso muchite zinthu zosonyeza kuti muli ndi chisoni. Baibulo lili ndi malangizo othandiza kwambiri pa nkhaniyi, omwenso akugwirizana kwambiri ndi zimene ochita kafukufuku anapeza.

Anthu a zikhalidwe zina amanena kuti mwamuna salira. Komabe sitiyenera kuchita manyazi ndi kulira ngakhale patakhala pagulu. Akatswiri a maganizo amanena kuti sikulakwa kulira mogwetsa misozi pofuna kusonyeza chisoni. Ndipo kusonyeza chisoni kungathandize kuti pakapita nthawi muyambenso kukhala osangalala, ngakhale kuti imfa ndi yowawa. Koma munthu amene amayesa kubisa chisoni chake amavutika kwambiri. Baibulo silinena kuti kulira n’kulakwa kapenanso kuti mwamuna sayenera kulira. Chitsanzo pa nkhaniyi ndi Yesu. Lazaro yemwe anali mnzake wapamtima atamwalira, Yesu analira ngakhale kuti ankadziwa kuti ali ndi mphamvu zoukitsa akufa.—Yohane 11:33-35.

Nthawi zambiri anthu amene wachibale wawo wamwalira mwadzidzidzi, amakwiya kwambiri. Iwo angakwiye pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana ndipo nthawi zina chingakhale chifukwa choti munthu yemwe akumudalira wanena zinazake zokhumudwitsa kapenanso zopanda umboni. Mwachitsanzo, bambo wina wa ku South Africa dzina lake Mike ananena kuti, “Bambo anga anamwalira ndili ndi zaka 14 zokha, ndipo pa maliro awo m’busa wina wa Anglican ananena kuti Mulungu amafuna anthu abwino ndipo amawatenga msanga asanakalambe.a Zimenezi zinandikwiyitsa koopsa chifukwa pa nthawiyi nafenso tinkawafuna kwambiri bambo athuwo. Panopa patha zaka 63 koma zimandipwetekabe.”

Nthawi zina anthu enanso amadziimba mlandu wachibale akamwalira mwadzidzidzi. Mwinanso anganene kuti, ‘Munthuyutu sakanamwalira ndikanachita zakutizakuti.’ Kapenanso angadziimbe mlandu chifukwa chakuti munthuyo asanamwalire anakangana naye.

Ngati mukudziimba mlandu kapenanso kukwiya chifukwa cha imfa ya wachibale wanu, si bwino kubisa mmene mukumvera. M’malo mwake, mungauze mnzanu yemwe angakumvetseni ndiponso sangakuimbeni mlandu chifukwa cha mmene mukumvera. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Bwenzi lenileni limakukonda nthawi zonse, ndipo bwenzilo ndi m’bale amene anabadwira kuti akuthandize pakagwa mavuto.”—Miyambo 17:17.

Yehova Mulungu, yemwe ndi Mlengi wathu angakhale bwenzi labwino kwambiri kwa munthu amene waferedwa. Choncho muyenera kupemphera kwa iye chifukwa “amakuderani nkhawa.” (1 Petulo 5:7) Ndipotu iye amalonjeza kuti maganizo a anthu onse omwe amapemphera kwa iye adzatsitsimulidwa ndi “mtendere wa Mulungu umene umaposa kuganiza mozama kulikonse.” (Afilipi 4:6, 7) Mulungu angakutonthozeninso kudzera m’Mawu ake, omwe ndi Baibulo. Mungachite bwino kupeza mavesi a m’Baibulo omwe angakutonthozeni n’kuwalemba penapake. (Onani bokosi.) Mwinanso mungaloweze ena mwa malembawa. Kuganizira mfundo za m’malembawa n’kothandiza kwambiri makamaka usiku pamene muli nokha komanso tulo sitikubwera.—Yesaya 57:15.

Posachedwapa, bambo wina dzina lake Jack, mkazi wake anamwalira ndi matenda a khansa. Jack ananena kuti nthawi zina amasowa munthu wocheza naye. Koma amalimbikitsidwa akapemphera kwa Yehova. Iye ananena kuti: “Ndikapemphera kwa Yehova, sindionanso kuti ndili ndekha. Nthawi zambiri ndikadzidzimuka m’kati mwa usiku sindigonanso. Zikatere ndimangotenga Baibulo n’kuyamba kuwerenga, kenako ndimaganizira zomwe ndawerengazo ndiponso kupemphera kwa Yehova. Zimenezi zimandithandiza kuti ndiyambe kumva bwino mumtimamu ndipo tulo timabweranso.”

Chitsanzo china ndi Vanessa yemwe mayi ake anamwalira atadwala kwambiri. Nayenso anaona kuti pemphero ndi lothandiza kwambiri. Vanessa ananena kuti: “Zinthu zikafika povuta kwambiri ndinkangoyamba kupemphera n’kumatchula dzina la Mulungu kwinaku ndikulira. Yehova ankamva mapemphero anga ndipo ankandipatsadi mphamvu.”

Anthu ena amene amakonda kulangiza anthu amene akuvutika ndi chisoni, amawauza kuti azithandiza ena kapenanso kugwira ntchito zina za m’dera lawo. Zimenezi zingathandize kuti azisangalala komanso kuti chisoni chawo chichepeko. (Machitidwe 20:35) Akhristu ambiri omwe aferedwa amayesetsa kuthandiza ena ndipo amaona kuti kuchita zimenezi kumawatonthoza kwambiri.—2 Akorinto 1:3, 4.

Kodi munayamba mwasowapo chonena pamene munkafuna kutonthoza munthu yemwe ankalira maliro a wachibale wake? Nthawi zina timangokhala chete chifukwa chosowa zonena kapena zimene tingachite. Komatu pa nthawiyi tingathe kuchita zinazake zomwe zingathandize munthuyo.

Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kupita kumaliroko, n’kuuza woferedwayo mawu enaake achidule monga akuti, “Pepani kwambiri.” Anthu a zikhalidwe zina amatha kukumbatira kapena kusisita woferedwayo padzanja ndipo zimenezi zimasonyeza kuti akumuganizira. Ngati woferedwayo akunena zinazake, muzimumvetsera mosonyeza kuti mukumumvetsa. Mungachitenso bwino kwambiri kugwira ntchito zina monga kuphika, kusamalira ana kapenanso kumuthandiza zinthu zina zokhudza dongosolo la maliro ngati m’pofunika kutero. Ndipotu kuchita zimenezi kungamuthandize kwambiri kuposa kungomuuza mawu olimbikitsa.

Pakapita nthawi mukhoza kumafotokoza zinthu zina zokhudza munthu yemwe anamwalirayo monga makhalidwe abwino kapena zinthu zina zosangalatsa zomwe munkachitira naye limodzi. Woferedwayo angasangalale kwambiri mutakambirana naye nkhani ngati zimenezi. Mwachitsanzo, mayi wina dzina lake Pam, yemwe mwamuna wake anamwalira zaka 6 zapitazo anati: “Nthawi zina anthu amandiuza zinthu zabwino zimene mwamuna wanga Ian ankachita ndipo zimenezi zimandisangalatsa kwambiri.”

Kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti anthu amakonda kuthandiza munthu pa nthawi imene wangoferedwa. Koma pakangodutsa nthawi amasiyiratu kumuthandiza. Ndiyetu mungachite bwino kwambiri kumapitabe kumakamuona woferedwayo nthawi zonse.a Anthu ambiri amene aferedwa amasangalala mukamawachezera pafupipafupi chifukwa zimawathandiza kuti asamangokhalira kumva chisoni.

Taganizirani zimene zinachitikira mtsikana wina wa ku Japan dzina lake Kaori. Mayi ake atamwalira, panangodutsa chaka ndi miyezi itatu mchemwali wakenso n’kumwalira. Koma chosangalatsa n’choti anzake sanasiye kumulimbikitsa. Pa anzakewa panali mayi ena dzina lawo a Ritsuko, omwe ankayesetsa kumulimbikitsa ndi kumukonda kwambiri. Kaori ananena kuti: “Kunena zoona sizinkandisangalatsa kuti a Ritsuko azichita zimenezi, chifukwa sindinkafuna kuti aliyense azichita zinthu zofuna kuti ndizimuona ngati mayi anga. Ndinkaonanso kuti palibe amene angakwanitse kuchita zimene mayi anga ankachita. Komabe a Ritsuko ankandikonda kwambiri ndipo nanenso ndinayamba kuwakonda ngati mayi anga. Mlungu uliwonse tinkapitira limodzi kolalikira ndiponso kumisonkhano yampingo. Nthawi zambiri ankandiitanira kunyumba kwawo, kundibweretsera zakudya komanso ankandilembera makalata. Zonse zimene a Ritsuko ankandichitira zinandithandiza kwambiri.”

Patha zaka 12 kuchokera pamene mayi a Kaori anamwalira. Panopo Kaori anakwatiwa ndipo amalalikira nthawi zonse limodzi ndi mwamuna wake. Kaori ananenanso kuti: “A Ritsuko sanasiyebe kundilimbikitsa. Nthawi zonse ndikapita kwa bambo anga, ndimayesetsa kupita kunyumba kwawo kukawaona ndipo ndikamacheza nawo amandilimbikitsa kwambiri.”

Chitsanzo china ndi cha a Poli, omwe amakhala ku Cyprus ndipo ndi a Mboni za Yehova. Amuna awo dzina lawo a Sozos anali ndi chotupa muubongo ndipo anamwalira ali ndi zaka 53. A Sozos ankakondana kwambiri ndi akazi awo ndipo ankakondanso kuitanira ana ndi akazi amasiye kunyumba kwawo kuti akacheze ndi kudyera nawo limodzi chakudya. (Yakobo 1:27) A Poli ananena kuti: “Ndimadandaula kuti imfa inanditengera mwamuna wanga wokhulupirika yemwe ndinakhala naye pabanja kwa zaka 33.” Komabe iwo amasangalala chifukwa anzawo amawalimbikitsa nthawi zonse.

Kenako a Poli anasamukira ku Canada ndi mwana wawo wazaka 15 dzina lake Daniel. Atafika kumeneko sanachedwe kuyamba kusonkhana ndi mpingo wa Mboni za Yehova wa m’dera limene ankakhala. A Poli ananena kuti: “Anthu a mumpingo watsopanowu sankadziwa zimene zinatichitikira komanso mavuto amene tikukumana nawo. Komabe iwo ankatimasukira ndi kutilimbikitsa potichitira zinthu zabwino ndiponso kutiuza mawu olimbikitsa. Zimenezi zinali zothandiza kwambiri chifukwa mwana wanga ankawasowa kwambiri bambo ake. Akulu a mumpingo umene tinkasonkhanawo ankamukondanso kwambiri Daniel. Ndipo mkulu wina ankayesetsa kumutenga akamapita kocheza kapenanso kosewera mpira.” Panopa Daniel ndi mayi ake akusangalala kwambiri.

Zimene zafotokozedwa m’nkhaniyi zikusonyeza kuti pali zambiri zimene tingachite kuti tilimbikitse anthu amene ali ndi chisoni. Baibulo limanenanso zinthu zosangalatsa zomwe tikuyembekezera mtsogolomu ndipo zimenezi zimatitonthoza.

Mwina mukukumbukira kuti a Gail omwe tawatchula m’nkhani yachiwiri ija, ankakayikira zoti adzaiwala imfa ya amuna awo a Robert. Komabe panopa akuyembekezera kudzaonananso ndi amuna awo m’dziko latsopano limene Mulungu walonjeza. A Gail anati: “Lemba limene limandisangalatsa kwambiri ndi la Chivumbulutso 21:3, 4.” Lembali limati: “Mulunguyo adzakhala nawo. Iye adzapukuta misozi yonse m’maso mwawo, ndipo imfa sidzakhalaponso. Sipadzakhalanso kulira, kapena kubuula, ngakhale kupweteka. Zakalezo zapita.”

A Gail ananenanso kuti: “Lembali limandikhazika mtima pansi. Komabe ndimamvera chisoni kwambiri anthu amene sadziwa kuti n’zotheka kudzaonananso ndi achibale awo omwe anamwalira.” Panopa a Gail amakonda kugwira ntchito yolalikira ndipo amauza anthu zimene Mulungu walonjeza zoti kutsogoloku “imfa sidzakhalaponso.”

Mwina munganene kuti zimenezi n’zosatheka. Koma taonani zimene Yobu ananena atadwala mwakayakaya. (Yobu 2:7) Pa nthawiyi Yobu ankalakalaka atafa, komabe ankakhulupirira kuti Mulungu akhoza kudzamuukitsa. Iye anati: “Zikanakhala bwino mukanandibisa m’Manda . . . Inu mudzaitana ndipo ine ndidzayankha. Mudzalakalaka ntchito ya manja anu.” (Yobu 14:13, 15) Yobu ankadziwa kuti ngati atamwalira, Mulungu angalakelake kumuonanso, zomwe zingapangitse kuti amuukitse.

Posachedwapa dzikoli likadzakhala paradaiso, Mulungu adzaukitsa Yobu komanso anthu ena ambiri. (Luka 23:42, 43) Imeneyi si nkhambakamwa chifukwa lemba la Machitidwe 24:15 limatitsimikizira kuti “kudzakhala kuuka.” Yesu naye ananenanso kuti: “Musadabwe nazo zimenezi, chifukwa idzafika nthawi pamene onse ali m’manda achikumbutso adzamva mawu ake ndipo adzatuluka.” (Yohane 5:28, 29) Yobu adzaona mmene Mulungu adzakwaniritsire lonjezo limeneli. Ndipo iye adzakhalanso ndi “mphamvu” komanso thupi lake lidzakhala losalala ‘kuposa mmene analili ali mnyamata.’ (Yobu 33:24, 25) Zimenezi zidzachitikiranso anthu onse amene amatumikira Mulungu mokhulupirika.

Mwina mfundo zimene takambirana m’nkhaniyi sizingathetseretu chisoni chanu ngati munthu amene munkamukonda anamwalira. Komabe kuganizira zimene Mulungu walonjeza m’Baibulo kungakuthandizeni kudziwa kuti mudzaonananso ndi anthu amene anamwalira komanso kuti musamangokhala ndi chisoni.—1 Atesalonika 4:13.

Kodi mukufuna kudziwa mfundo zinanso zomwe zingakuthandizeni mukakhala ndi chisoni? Kapena mukufunanso mutadziwa kuti “N’chifukwa chiyani Mulungu walola kuti zoipa zizichitika komanso kuti anthu azivutika?” Ngati ndi choncho, pitani pawebusaiti yathu ya jw.org/ny kuti mupeze mfundo zomwe zingakuthandizeni komanso mayankho a mafunso amene muli nawo.