A SARAHa ndi amuna awo a Jacob, amakhala ku Ghana ndipo akhala pa banja kwa zaka 17. Komabe nthawi zina amakangana. A Sarah anati: “Timakonda kukangana pa nkhani za ndalama. Zimandipweteka kwambiri chifukwa ndimayesetsa kusamalira banja lathu. Koma ndikangoyambitsa nkhani ya ndalama, mwamuna wanga amakwiya ndipo timasiya kuyankhulana.”

Nawonso a Jacob anavomereza zimenezi. Anati: “N’zoona kuti timakanganadi. Nthawi zina sitiyankhulana bwino ndipo zinthu zimatha kufika poipa ndithu. Ndimaona kuti zimenezi zimachitika chifukwa cha kusamvetsetsana ndiponso chifukwa choti aliyense amangopanga zake. Komanso tili ndi vuto loti timakonda kukoka nkhani, moti kankhani kang’onong’ono kamatha kupangitsa kuti tiyambane.”

A Nathan amakhala ku India, ndipo angokwatira kumene. Tsiku lina anakhumudwa kwambiri apongozi awo aamuna atawatsira mphepo. A Nathan anati: “Apongozi anga anakalipira kwambiri akazi awo atalakwitsa zinazake moti mayiwo anachoka pakhomo. Nditafunsa apongozi aamunawo chifukwa chimene anachitira zimenezi, anandipseranso mtima ineyo n’kuyamba kundikalipira.”

N’kutheka kuti nanunso mukudziwa kuti kusayankhula bwino kumayambitsa mavuto m’banja. Nthawi zina nkhani yabwinobwino imatha kusintha n’kupangitsa kuti anthu asemphane chichewa. Zimenezi zimachitika ngati ena atimva molakwika kapena ngati akuganiza kuti tayankhula mwadala zinthu zoti ziwapweteke. Komabe n’zotheka ndithu kumakhala mwamtendere ndi anthu a m’banja lathu.

Ndiye kodi mungatani ngati mwapsetsana mtima ndi anthu a m’banja lanu? N’chiyani chimene mungachite kuti muyambenso kugwirizana? Nanga mabanja angatani kuti azikhalabe mwamtendere? Werengani nkhani zotsatirazi kuti mudziwe mayankho a mafunso amenewa.

KODI mungatani ngati nthawi zonse mumangokhalira kukangana ndi anthu a m’banja lanu? N’kutheka kuti mumakonda kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu komanso anthu ena a m’banja lanu. Komabe mwina mumadabwa kuti mavuto m’banja lanu sati ayambika liti, ndipo kuti athe pamakhala matatalazi. Ngakhale zili choncho, dziwani kuti pali zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti muthane nawo.

Muyenera kudziwa kuti ngati nthawi zina mumakangana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, sizikutanthauza kuti banja lanu litha basi. Dziwaninso kuti banja lililonse limakumana ndi mavuto, koma nkhani imagona pa zimene mumachita kuti muthetse mavutowo. Ndiye tiyeni tione zinthu 6 zimene zingakuthandizeni kuti musamakangane.

1. MUZIUGWIRA MTIMA.

Anthu amakangana chifukwa choti aliyense akulephera kuugwira mtima. Koma ngati wina atasiya kuyankhula n’kuyamba kumvetsera zimene winayo akunena, mkanganowo umatha. Choncho mukakwiya, musamayankhane ziphaliwali. Mungachite bwino kumaugwira mtima ndipo zimenezi zingachititse kuti mnzanuyo azikulemekezani. Kumbukirani kuti kukhala mwamtendere ndi anthu a m’banja lanu n’kofunika kwambiri kuposa kusonyeza mnzanuyo kuti ndiye wolakwa.

“Popanda nkhuni moto umazima, ndipo popanda munthu wonenera anzake zoipa mikangano imazilala.”—Miyambo 26:20.

2. MUZIYESETSA KUMVETSA MMENE MNZANUYO AKUMVERA.

Kuti muzikhala mwamtendere, muziyesetsa kumvetsera mnzanu akamayankhula. Komanso ndi bwino kupewa kumuweruza kapena kumudula mawu. Choncho m’malo moganiza kuti akufuna kuyambana nanu, mungachite bwino kumaganizira mmene akumvera. Nthawi zambiri munthu angayankhule mawu opweteka chifukwa choti sanaganize bwino kapena chifukwa choti wakhumudwa. Choncho, si bwino kumakokomeza kwambiri zolakwika zimene mnzathu wachita, chifukwa aliyense amalakwitsa.

“Chotero monga ochita kusankhidwa ndi Mulungu, oyera ndi okondedwa, valani chifundo chachikulu, kukoma mtima, kudzichepetsa, kufatsa, ndi kuleza mtima.”—Akolose 3:12.

3. MUKAKWIYA MUZICHOKAPO KAYE KUTI MTIMA UKHALE M’MALO.

Mukaona kuti mwapsa mtima, mungachite bwino kuchokapo n’kupita kwinakwake kuti mtima wanu ukhale pansi. Mwina mungapite kukayenda kapena kukachita zinazake. Kuchita zimenezi kungathandize kuti mupeze mpata wopempha Mulungu kuti akuthandizeni kukhala woleza mtima komanso kuti mukhale woganiza bwino. Koma si bwino kumakana kuthetsa nkhaniyo kapena kusiyiratu kuyankhulana ndi mnzanuyo pofuna kumukhaulitsa.

“Mkangano usanabuke, chokapo.”—Miyambo 17:14.

4. MUZIGANIZA KAYE MUSANAYANKHULE KOMANSO MUZINENA MAGANIZO ANU MWAULEMU.

Anthu ena akakwiya amangoyankhula mwa payerepayere. Koma kuchita zimenezi si kothandiza chifukwa kumangochititsa kuti zinthu zizingoipiraipirabe. Choncho, mungachite bwino kumayankhula mwaulemu n’cholinga choti mnzanuyo mtima wake ukhale pansi. M’malo momangoganiza kuti mwina wakhumudwa ndi chakutichakuti, ndi bwino kumufunsa kuti akufotokozereni chimene chamukhumudwitsacho. Kenako muthokozeni chifukwa chokufotokozerani maganizo ake.

“Pali munthu amene amalankhula mosaganizira ndi mawu olasa ngati lupanga, koma lilime la anthu anzeru limachiritsa.”—Miyambo 12:18.

5. MUZIYANKHULA MODEKHA NDIPONSO MWAULEMU.

Ngati munthu wina m’banja wakwiya, angayankhule kapena kuchita zinthu zimene zingachititsenso kuti anthu ena akwiye. Ndiye zikatere, ndi bwino kuugwira mtima n’kuyesetsa kupewa kuchita zinthu zomwe zingakolezere mavuto. Mungachitenso bwino kuyankhula mwaulemu komanso mosakweza mawu. Mukamayankhula ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, muzipewa kunena mawu ngati, “Simumandikonda inu” kapena “Simumandimvetsera ndikamayankhula.” M’malo mwake, mungamuuze mwaulemu zimene zakukhumudwitsani. Munganene kuti, “Ndimakhumudwa mukachita zakutizakuti.” Koma n’kupanda nzeru kumenyana, kukankhana, kutchulana mayina achipongwe kapena kuopsezana mukakwiya.

“Kuwawidwa mtima konse kwa njiru, kupsa mtima, mkwiyo, kulalata ndiponso mawu achipongwe zichotsedwe mwa inu limodzi ndi zoipa zonse.”—Aefeso 4:31.

6. MUZIPEPESA MWAMSANGA KOMANSO MUZIFOTOKOZA ZIMENE MUKUFUNA KUCHITA KUTI MUTHETSE VUTOLO.

Musamalole kumangoganizira za vutolo koma muziganizira zimene mungachite kuti mulithetse. Muzikumbukira kuti mukakangana, zimasonyeza kuti nonse mwalephera kuugwira mtima. Koma nonse mukakhala ndi cholinga chothetsa vutolo, zinthu zimayamba kuyenda bwino. Komanso ngakhale mukuona kuti inuyo si wolakwa, mungachitebe bwino kupepesa. Muzikumbukira kuti mwina zimene mwachita kapena zimene mwayankhula, zapangitsa kuti vutolo likule. Kuchita zimenezi kungathandize kuti muzikhala mwamtendere ndipo zingasonyeze kuti ndinu wodzichepetsa. Ndipo ngati mnzanu wakupepesani, muzimukhululukira ndi mtima wonse.

“Pita ukadzichepetse ndipo ukamuchonderere kwambiri mnzakoyo.”—Miyambo 6:3.

Mfundo zimene takambiranazi zingathandize kuti musiye kukangana. Koma kodi mungatani kuti banja lanu lizikhala losangalala komanso kuti musamangokhalira kukangana? Werengani nkhani yotsatirayi kuti mudziwe zimene mungachite.

KODI mukuganiza kuti Baibulo lingatithandize kuti tizigwirizana ndi anthu a m’banja lathu? Tiyeni tione zimene anthu ena ananena komanso mfundo za m’Baibulo zimene zingakuthandizeni.

MFUNDO ZA M’BAIBULO ZOMWE ZINGAKUTHANDIZENI KUKHALA MWAMTENDERE M’BANJA

MUZICHITA ZINTHU MOGANIZIRANA.

“Musachite chilichonse ndi mtima wokonda mikangano kapena wodzikuza, koma modzichepetsa, ndi kuona ena kukhala okuposani. Musamaganizire zofuna zanu zokha, koma muziganiziranso zofuna za ena.”​—Afilipi 2:3, 4.

Mayi wina yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka 19 anati: “Ndimaona kuti banja limayenda bwino kwambiri ukamaona kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wako ndiye wofunika kwambiri kuposa iweyo ndi anthu ena.”

MUZIMVETSERA MWATCHERU MNZANUYO AKAMAYANKHULA.

“Pitiriza kuwakumbutsa kuti . . . asakhale aukali. Koma akhale ololera, ndi ofatsa kwa anthu onse.”​—Tito 3:1, 2.

Mayi wina yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka 20 anati: “Sizivuta kuthetsa nkhani, anthu okwatirana akamayankhulana mwaulemu. Choncho mnzanu akamayankhula ndi bwino kumvetsera mwatcheru ngakhale zitakhala kuti simukugwirizana nazo.”

MUZIKHALA OLEZA MTIMA KOMANSO ODEKHA.

“Kuleza mtima kumanyengerera mtsogoleri wa asilikali, ndipo lilime lofatsa likhoza kuthyola fupa.”​—Miyambo 25:15.

Mayi wina yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka 27 anati: “Palibe banja limene silikumana ndi mavuto. Koma zimangodalira kuti awiriwo amatani akakumana ndi mavutowo. Choncho ngati nonse mutakhala oleza mtima, sizivuta kuthetsa nkhani.”

MUSAMANENE MAWU ACHIPONGWE KAPENA KUMENYA MNZANUYO NGAKHALE MUTAPSA MTIMA.

“Koma tsopano zonsezo muzitaye kutali ndi inu. Mutaye mkwiyo, kupsa mtima, kuipa, ndi mawu achipongwe, ndipo pakamwa panu pasatuluke nkhani zotukwana.”​—Akolose 3:8.

Mayi wina yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka 20 anati: “Mwamuna wanga amandisangalatsa kwambiri chifukwa ndi wougwira mtima. Ngakhale akhumudwe, sandikalipira kapena kunena mawu achipongwe.”

MUZIKHULULUKIRANA KOMANSO KUTHETSA NKHANI MWAMSANGA.

“Pitirizani kulolerana ndi kukhululukirana ndi mtima wonse, ngati wina ali ndi chifukwa chodandaulira za mnzake. Monga Yehova anakukhululukirani ndi mtima wonse, inunso teroni.”​—Akolose 3:13.

Mayi wina yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka 34 anati: “Munthu akapsa mtima, zimakhala zosavuta kuyankhula kapena kuchita zinthu zomwe zingakhumudwitse mnzake. Choncho zinthu zimakhala bwino ngati mumakhululukirana. Ndimaona kuti banja silingayende bwino ngati anthu amakonda kusungirana zifukwa.”

MUZICHITIRANA ZABWINO.

“Khalani opatsa ndipo inunso anthu adzakupatsani. Adzakhuthulira m’matumba anu muyezo wabwino, wotsendereka, wokhutchumuka ndi wosefukira. Pakuti muyezo umene mukuyezera ena, iwonso adzakuyezerani womwewo.”​—Luka 6:38.

Mayi wina yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka 44 anati: “Mwamuna wanga amadziwa zimene ndimakonda moti amakonda kundipatsa timphatso. Ndiye zikatere ndimaganizira zimene nanenso ndingachite kuti ndimusangalatse. Zimenezi zimathandiza kuti tizikhala osangalala.”

MUZICHITA ZINTHU ZOMWE ZINGATHANDIZE KUTI MUZIGWIRIZANA

Anthu amene atchulidwa pamwambawa ndi ena mwa anthu amene Baibulo lawathandiza kuti azikhala mwamtendere ndi anthu a m’banja lawo.a Anthuwa amayesetsa kuchita mbali yawo ngakhale kuti anthu ena a m’banja lawo ndi ovuta. Zimenezi zimawathandiza kuti azikhala osangalala chifukwa Baibulo limati: “Olimbikitsa mtendere amasangalala.”​—Miyambo 12:20.