Prepare for Gudfela Marit

1, 2. (a) Hao nao Jesus strongim way wea hem important for plan? (b) Long wanem samting nao hem barava important for plan?

FOR buildim wanfela haos, man mas prepare gud firstaem. Bifor hem startim faondeson, hem mas baem land and drawim plan. But, narafela samting tu hem important. Jesus say: “Hu long iufela nao want for buildim wanfela taoa but hem no sidaon firstaem and kaontem kost, for lukim sapos hem garem inaf shilling for finisim?”—Luke 14:28.

² For buildim wanfela haos hem semsem withim way for buildim gudfela marit. Planti pipol say: “Mi laek for marit.” But haomas pipol nao tingting firstaem long hard work bilong datwan? Bible story abaotem gudfela samting bilong marit, but hem story tu abaotem olketa challenge wea kamap insaed long marit. (Proverbs 18:22; 1 Corinthians 7:28) Dastawe, olketa wea laek for marit need for tingting gud long olketa blessing and hard work bilong marit.

3. Why nao Bible barava helpem olketa wea plan for marit, and hem bae helpem iumi for ansarem wanem threefela kwestin?

³ Bible savvy givim help. Kaonsel wea stap insaed hem kam from Man Wea Startim marit, Jehovah God. (Ephesians 3:14, 15; 2 Timothy 3:16) Olketa principle wea stap insaed disfela oldfela buk wea barava fitim disfela taem, bae helpem iumi for luksavvy (1) Hao nao man bae savvy sapos hem ready for marit? (2) Wanem kaen fasin nao iu mas lukaotem long wanfela partner? and (3) Hao nao tufela wea laek for marit savvy keepim way for fren tugeta hem klin?

WASWE, IU READY FOR MARIT?

4. Wanem nao wanfela important samting wea man needim for keepim gudfela marit, and why nao olsem?

⁴ For buildim wanfela haos savvy kostim staka shilling, but for keepim gud for longfela taem savvy kostim moa shilling tu. Diswan hem semsem withim marit. For marit hem olsem bigfela challenge; but, man mas tingim tu way for keepim gud datfela marit evri year. Wanem nao insaed long diswan? Wanfela important samting hem for live followim promis withim whole heart. Bible hem story abaotem marit olsem: “Man bae lusim dadi and mami bilong hem and hem mas stap withim waef bilong hem and they mas kamap wan body.” (Genesis 2:24) Jesus Kraest talem wanfela reason nomoa wea Bible hem letem man for divorce and savvy marit moa—“fornication,” hem nao, way for duim sex withim narawan wea man no maritim. (Matthew 19:9) Sapos iu tingting for marit, tingim olketa mark hia bilong Bible. Sapos iu no ready for keepim datfela important promis, then iu no ready yet for marit.—Deuteronomy 23:21; Ecclesiastes 5:4, 5.

5. Nomata important promis bilong marit hem mekem samfela fraet, why nao olketa wea laek for marit mas ting hae long diswan?

⁵ Planti they fraet taem they ting they mas keepim datfela important promis. “Taem mi savvy mi tufela mas stap tugeta for olawe, mi feel olsem mi hard for ranawe, olsem mi stap insaed prison, hem nao samting wanfela young man talem. But sapos iu really love-im dat wan wea iu bae maritim, way for keepim datfela promis hem no olsem wanfela hevi. But, bae iu ting long datwan olsem samting wea helpem iu for stap safe. Way for keepim promis insaed long marit bae mekem hasband and waef want for stap tugeta long olketa gudfela and badfela taem and for supportim each other nomata wanem samting happen. Kristian aposol Paul say trufela love “hem kavarem evri samting” and “hem stand strong long evri samting.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7) “For keepim promis insaed long marit hem mekem mi feel safe,” wanfela woman hem say. “Mi laekem tumas way wea mi tufela talem long mi tufela seleva and long pablik hao mi tufela bae stap tugeta.”—Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.

6. Why nao hem gud for no kwiktaem for marit taem iu young tumas?

⁶ For keepim diskaen promis man mas mature. Dastawe Paul givim kaonsel long olketa Kristian for no marit go kasem taem they “ovarem finis young laef,” taem wea man garem strongfela feeling for wantim sex wea savvy mekem man no decide long gudfela way. (1 Corinthians 7:36) Young pipol savvy change kwiktaem taem they grow ap. Planti wea marit taem they young tumas faend aot hao bihaen long fewfela year nomoa, samting wea they needim and wantim hem change, and partner bilong them feel olsem tu. Samfela report show aot planti teenager wea marit they planti taem no hapi and laek for divorce winim olketa wea no marit kwiktaem. So no kwiktaem for marit. Sapos iu spendem samfela year for stap olsem wanfela full-grown wan wea single, diswan savvy givim iu gudfela training wea bae mekem iu kamap moa mature and fit for kamap gudfela partner bilong samwan. For no marit kwiktaem savvy helpem iu tu for meanim gud iuseleva—samting wea iu need for duim sapos iu want for garem gudfela marit.

SAVVY GUD LONG IUSELEVA FIRSTAEM

7. Why nao olketa wea plan for marit mas lukluk gud long olketa seleva firstaem?

⁷ Waswe, iu faendem hem easy for listim olketa fasin wea iu wantim partner bilong iu for garem? Planti savvy duim datwan. But, waswe long olketa fasin bilong iuseleva? Wanem nao olketa fasin wea iu garem wea bae helpem iu for garem gudfela marit? Iu bae wanem kaen hasband or waef? For example, waswe, iu savvy talemaot mistek bilong iu and acceptim advice, or iu evritaem againstim eniwan wea stretem iu? Waswe, way bilong iu hem for hapi and tingim gudfela saed long samting planti taem, or iu savvy feel kros evritaem, and complain planti taem? (Proverbs 8:33; 15:15) Remember, marit bae no change-im fasin bilong iu. Sapos iu praod, savvy kros kwiktaem, or tingim no gud saed bilong samting, iu bae olsem taem iu marit. From hem hard for ting long iumi seleva long way wea otherfela pipol ting long iumi, hem gud for askim dadi, mami or wanfela gudfela fren for talem iu stret abaotem fasin bilong iu and givim iu samfela idea. Sapos they talem iu for change-im samfela fasin bilong iu, trae for duim datwan bifor iu tingting for marit.

8-10. Wanem kaonsel nao Bible givim wea bae helpem man for prepare for marit?

⁸ Bible encouragim iumi for letem holy spirit bilong God work insaed long iumi, for mekem grow olketa fasin olsem “love, hapi, peace, long-suffering, kaenfela fasin, gudfela fasin, faith, kwaet fasin, fasin for bossim seleva.” Hem talem iumi tu for “kamap niu long paoa wea muvim tingting [bilong iumi]” and for “havem niufela fasin wea hem workim fitim will bilong God long trufela raeteous fasin and loyal fasin.” (Galatians 5:22, 23; Ephesians 4:23, 24) For followim disfela kaonsel taem iu still single hem olsem iu putim shilling insaed long bank—hem samting wea bae barava helpem iu long future, taem iu marit.

⁹ For example, sapos iu wanfela woman, learn for lukluk gud long “fasin bilong heart” winim lukluk bilong body. (1 Peter 3:3, 4) Humble fasin and gudfela tingting bae helpem iu for garem wisdom, wanfela trufela “way for luk nice.” (Proverbs 4:9; 31:10, 30; 1 Timothy 2:9, 10) Sapos iu wanfela man, learn for deal withim olketa woman long kaenfela way wea show aot respect. (1 Timothy 5:1, 2) Taem iu learn for decide-im samting and karem responsibility, learn tu for humble. Way for want for olsem boss evritaem bae mekem trabel kamap insaed long marit.—Proverbs 29:23; Micah 6:8; Ephesians 5:28, 29.

¹⁰ Nomata way for stretem tingting long olketa samting hia hem no easy, hem samting wea evri Kristian mas trae hard for duim. And diswan bae helpem iu for kamap wanfela gudfela marit partner.

FASIN FOR LUKAOTEM LONG WANFELA PARTNER

11, 12. Hao nao tufela savvy faend aot sapos they fit for stap gud tugeta?

¹¹ Waswe, hem kastom long ples wea iu stap for man seleva choosim marit partner bilong hem? Sapos olsem, wanem nao bae iu duim sapos iu laekem wanfela boy or girl? Firstaem askim iuseleva, ‘Waswe, really goal bilong mi hem for marit?’ Hem no gud for play raon withim feeling bilong narawan and mekem hem hope nating nomoa. (Proverbs 13:12) Then, askim iuseleva, ‘Waswe, mi fit for marit?’ Sapos ansa bilong tufela kwestin hia hem yes, nextfela samting wea iu bae duim hem depend long kastom bilong ples wea iu stap. Long samfela kantri, bihaen iu lukluk long fasin bilong dat wan for lelebet taem, iu savvy story withim hem and talem hao iu want for savvy gud moa long hem. Sapos ansa hem no moa, no go ahed for ask go kasem taem hem bae feel no gud. Remember, hem tu mas decide long olketa samting hia. But, sapos ansa bilong hem yes, iu maet arrange for iu tufela spendem taem tugeta long samfela different taem. Diswan bae mekem iu garem chance for lukim sapos hem wise for maritim hem or no moa.a Wanem nao iu trae for faendem long taem olsem?

¹² For ansarem datfela kwestin, tingim tufela samting for playim music, maet wanfela keyboard and wanfela guitar. Sapos they tune-im stret, tufela evriwan savvy mekem music wea sound nice tumas. But, wanem nao happen sapos they playim tufela samting hia tugeta? They mas tune-im tufela for fitim each other. Hem semsem withim iu and dat wan wea iu laek for maritim. Each wan long iu tufela maet work hard for “tune-im” fasin bilong iuseleva. But kwestin nao hem olsem: Waswe, iu tufela tune for fitim each other? Or iumi savvy say, waswe, iu tufela fit for stap gud tugeta?

13. Why nao hem barava no wise for fren withim samwan wea no garem sem faith olsem iu?

¹³ Hem important for iu tufela evriwan mas believim sem samting and principle. Aposol Paul raet olsem: “No join tugeta long way wea no balance withim pipol wea no believe.” (2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39) For maritim samwan wea no garem sem faith long God olsem iu, savvy mekem bigfela way for no garem wan mind kamap. Long narasaed, sem kaen feeling for love-im Jehovah God hem barava strongfela faondeson for garem wan mind. Jehovah wantim iu for hapi and for enjoyim barava klos way for fren withim dat wan wea iu maritim. Hem wantim iu for fren long klos way withim Hem and withim each other thru long love wea joinim iu threefela tugeta.—Ecclesiastes 4:12.

14, 15. Waswe, way for garem sem faith hem only samting wea bae mekem marit garem wan mind? Meanim diswan.

¹⁴ Nomata way for worshipim God tugeta hem barava important samting for garem wan mind, moa samting hem insaed long diswan. For stap gud tugeta, iu and dat wan wea iu bae maritim mas garem olketa sem goal. Wanem nao olketa goal bilong iu? For example, wanem nao tingting bilong iu abaot way for garem pikinini? Wanem nao olketa samting wea barava important long laef bilong iu?b (Matthew 6:33) Insaed long gudfela marit, hasband and waef fren gud and enjoyim way for stap tugeta. (Proverbs 17:17) So tufela need for interest long olketa sem samting. Hem hard for fren gud withim samwan—and moa hard for keepim marit—sapos iu tufela no interest long olketa sem samting. But, sapos dat wan wea iu bae maritim hem enjoyim wankaen samting, olsem for fishing, and iu no laekem tumas, waswe, datwan meanim iu tufela mas no marit nao? No moa. Maet iu tufela garem sem interest long otherfela samting wea moa important. And tu, iu savvy mekem dat wan wea iu bae maritim hem hapi sapos iu share insaed olketa gudfela samting wea hem savvy laek for duim.—Acts 20:35.

¹⁵ Tru nao, long bigfela way, way wea iu tufela savvy stap gud tugeta hem depend long hao iu tufela savvy change and no long way wea iu tufela semsem nomoa. So winim way for ask, “Waswe, mifela agree long evri samting?” samfela gudfela kwestin maet olsem: “Wanem nao bae happen taem mifela no agree? Waswe, mifela savvy story gud, showim aot respect long each other? Or waswe, planti taem story bilong mifela tan go for bigfela raoa?” (Ephesians 4:29, 31) Sapos iu laek for marit, careful long eniwan wea praod and ting tumas long hemseleva, wea no willing for change-im tingting bilong hem, or hem want for followim olketa idea bilong hemseleva evritaem.

FAEND AOT FIRSTAEM

16, 17. Wanem nao single man or girl savvy lukaotem taem they tingting for maritim samwan?

¹⁶ Insaed long Kristian kongregeson, olketa wea garem responsibility mas ‘firstaem kasem test.’ (1 Timothy 3:10) Iu tu savvy followim disfela principle. For example, wanfela single girl maet ask, “Waswe, pipol ting gud long disfela man? Hu nao olketa fren bilong hem? Waswe, hem savvy showim aot fasin for bossim seleva? Hao nao hem deal withim olketa olo? Wanem kaen famili nao hem kam from? Hao nao hem fren withim famili bilong hem? Hao nao tingting bilong hem long saed bilong shilling? Waswe, hem savvy drinkim tumas alcohol? Waswe, hem savvy kros kwiktaem, or raf? Wanem kaen responsibility nao hem garem insaed long kongregeson, and hao nao hem deal withim them? Waswe, mi savvy barava respectim hem?”—Leviticus 19:32; Proverbs 22:29; 31:23; Ephesians 5:3-5, 33; 1 Timothy 5:8; 6:10; Titus 2:6, 7.

¹⁷ Wanfela single man maet ask, “Waswe, disfela woman showim aot love and respect for God? Waswe, hem fit for luk aftarem haos? Wanem nao famili bilong hem bae wantim mifela for duim? Waswe hem wise, savvy work hard, savvy iusim gud shilling? Wanem nao hem savvy story abaot? Waswe, hem really care long pipol, or hem tingim seleva nomoa, want for poke-nose long bisnis bilong other pipol? Waswe, pipol savvy trustim hem? Waswe, hem willing for stap under long hedship, or hem no laek for change, maet bighed?”—Proverbs 31:10-31; Luke 6:45; Ephesians 5:22, 23; 1 Timothy 5:13; 1 Peter 4:15.

18. Sapos iu luksavvy long samfela smallfela weak point taem iu tufela fren, wanem nao iu mas tingim?

¹⁸ No forget iu lukluk long samwan wea no perfect wea kam from Adam, no samwan wea insaed long dream bilong iu or wea insaed olketa love story buk. Evriwan garem weak point, and bae iu mas kavarem samfela—bilong iu and dat wan wea iu bae maritim. (Romans 3:23; James 3:2) And tu, way for luksavvy long wanfela weak point savvy mekem iu for grow long spiritual way. For example, sapos wantaem iu tufela raoa taem iu tufela fren yet. Tingim diswan: Pipol wea love-im and respectim each other tu no agree long samfela samting. (Lukim Genesis 30:2; Acts 15:39.) Waswe, hem from iu tufela evriwan need for ‘holem back spirit’ and learn hao for stretem samting long way bilong peace? (Proverbs 25:28) Waswe, dat wan wea iu bae maritim show aot hem want for kamap moabeta? Waswe long iu? Waswe, iu savvy learn for no kros kwiktaem? (Ecclesiastes 7:9) Sapos iu tufela learn for stretem olketa problem, diswan bae startim way for story tugeta long honest way, wea hem important sapos iu tufela bae marit.—Colossians 3:13.

19. Wanem nao bae hem wisefela samting for duim sapos olketa bigfela problem kamap taem iu tufela fren?

¹⁹ But, waswe sapos iu lukim samfela samting wea mekem iu worry tumas? Iu mas tingting gud long olketa daot olsem. Nomata iu garem strongfela feeling for hem or iu laek tumas for marit, no satem eye bilong iu long olketa bigfela problem. (Proverbs 22:3; Ecclesiastes 2:14) Sapos iu fren withim samwan wea iu really daotem, hem moabeta for iu no fren moa withim hem and for no mekem important promis withim hem.

KEEPIM WAY FOR FREN TUGETA HEM KLIN

20. Hao nao tufela wea fren tugeta savvy keepim klinfela fasin?

²⁰ Hao nao iu savvy keepim way for fren tugeta hem klin? First samting, mek sure iu garem klinfela fasin. Long ples wea iu stap, waswe, hem olraet for tufela wea no marit for hol hand, kiss, or holem each other? Nomata sapos hem olraet for duim diswan, tufela fit for duim only sapos they decide for marit. Mas careful for diswan no lead go long dirty fasin or fornication. (Ephesians 4:18, 19; lukim Song of Solomon 1:2; 2:6; 8:5, 9, 10.) From heart savvy giamanim man, hem wise samting for iu tufela no stap seleva insaed wanfela haos, truck, or eni ples wea savvy givim chance for duim dirty fasin. (Jeremiah 17:9) For keepim way wea iu tufela fren tugeta hem klin hem show aot iu garem fasin for bossim seleva and iu ting long gudfela samting for narawan winim samting wea iuseleva wantim. Samting wea barava important, klinfela way for fren tugeta bae mekem Jehovah God hapi, wea komandim olketa servant bilong hem for stap klia long dirty fasin and fornication.—Galatians 5:19-21.

21. Wanem honest way for story tugeta nao tufela maet needim for keepim gudfela way for fren?

²¹ Mek-tu samting, gudfela way for fren hem meanim tu way for story tugeta long honest way. Taem way wea iu tufela fren hem lead go for marit, iu tufela bae need for story tugeta abaotem samfela samting. Wea nao bae iufela stap? Waswe, iu tufela evriwan bae work for shilling? Waswe, iu tufela want for garem pikinini? And tu, hem stret for talemaot samfela samting wea man duim bifor, wea savvy affectim marit. Maet iu garem bigfela kaon or samting long saed bilong health, olsem eni big sik wea iu maet garem. From pipol wea garem HIV (virus wea givim man AIDS) no savvy feel sik kwiktaem, hem no rong for wanfela long tufela or dadi and mami for askim samwan wea duim dirty fasin bifor or iusim drug wea hem nilam insaed long body, for havem wanfela AIDS blood test. Sapos datfela test hem positive, man wea garem disfela sik mas no force-im dat wan wea hem laek for maritim for go ahed for fren sapos dat wan hem laekem for finisim. Yes, hem gud for eniwan wea garem living wea olabaot bifor for go seleva for havem AIDS blood test bifor hem start for fren.

LUKLUK BIHAEN LONG WEDDING DAY

22, 23. (a) Hao nao man savvy no balance gud taem hem readyim wedding? (b) Wanem balance tingting nao man mas garem taem hem tingting long wedding and marit?

²² Long olketa fewfela month bifor marit, iu tufela evriwan bae busy tumas withim olketa samting bilong wedding. Sapos iufela balance long evri samting, diswan bae help for no garem tumas hevi. For havem stael wedding maet mekem olketa relative and fren hapi, but diswan savvy mekem tufela wea bae marit and famili bilong them for feel tired long body and short long shilling. Hem olraet for followim samfela kastom wea fitim ples wea iu stap, but way for trae for followim evribit and winim otherfela pipol savvy spoelem goal bilong wedding hia and diswan savvy aotem hapi wea iu fit for kasem long datfela taem. Nomata they mas tingim feeling bilong otherfela pipol, man wea bae marit nao main wan wea decide-im samting wea bae happen long wedding feast.—John 2:9.

²³ Remember wedding bilong iu hem for wanfela day nomoa, but marit bilong iu hem for olawe. Stap klia long way for ting hevi tumas long day for marit. But, luk long Jehovah God for guide-im iu, and plan gud for marit laef. Then iu bae ready for garem gudfela marit.