“Imashini ifasha kwiga ifise ubushobozi kuruta ibindi bintu vyose biriho”

UBWONKO bw’umwana bwiswe “imashini ifasha kwiga ifise ubushobozi kuruta ibindi bintu vyose biriho,” kandi ivyo birabereye. Uruyoya ruvukana ubushobozi bwo kumenya ibintu vyose birukikuje rushobora kubona, kwumva no kwiyumvamwo.

Ikiruta vyose, uruyoya usanga rukwegerwa n’abandi bantu. Nk’akarorero rurakwegerwa no mu maso habo, amajwi yabo be no kuba barukozeko. Igitabu kimwe (Babyhood) c’uwitwa Penelope Leach kivuga giti: “Haragizwe ivyigwa vyinshi ku bijanye n’ibintu uruyoya rubona, bino bikaba ari vyo birushimisha kuruta ibindi, ivyo rwumva, bino bikaba ari vyo birukwegera rukabigumizako ubwenge, ivyo rwiyumvamwo bikaba biboneka ko ari vyo ahanini rurondera kwigana. Ivyo vyose birakunda gushika igihe hari umuntu akuze ariko ararwitwararika.” Ntibitangaje kuba abavyeyi barangura bene urwo ruhara ruhambaye mu bijanye n’ikura ry’umwana!

“Navuga nk’uruyoya”

Abavyeyi cokimwe n’abaganga bitwararika amagara y’abana, baratangazwa cane n’ubushobozi uruyoya rufise bwo kwiga ururimi mu kurwumviriza gusa. Abashakashatsi basanze mu misi mikeyi gusa, uruyoya ruba rumaze kumenyera ijwi rya nyina warwo kandi akaba ari ryo ruhimbarwa no kwumva aho kwumva iry’uwundi muntu; mu mayinga makeyi gusa, ruba rushobora kumenya itandukaniro riri hagati y’ururimi kavukire rw’abavyeyi barwo n’izindi ndimi; kandi mu mezi makeyi gusa, ruba rushobora kumenya imyanya ija hagati y’amajambo, ivyo bigatuma rushobora gutandukanya imvugo yumvikana n’amajwi atumvikana.

Intumwa Paulo yanditse ati: “Igihe nari uruyoya, navuga nk’uruyoya.” (1 Abakorinto 13:​11) None uruyoya ruvuga gute? Rurahoha mu kuvuga amajambo atumvikana. None ayo majambo ruvuga yoba ata co avuze? Habe namba! Dogoteri Lise Eliot atwibutsa mu gitabu ciwe (What’s Going On in There?​—⁠How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life) yuko kuvuga ari “ubuhanga bugoye gutahura, busaba ko umuntu akoresha ningoga na ningoga imitsi myinshi iyobora iminwa, ururimi, amagage hamwe n’amarakaraka kandi akayikoresha icarimwe.” Yongerako ati: “Naho guhoha vyoshobora gusa n’uburyo bushimishije cane abana bakoresha kugira ngo batume abandi bababona, ni n’uburyo buhambaye bwo kwimenyereza kuvuga.”

Iyo umwana ariko arahoha, abavyeyi biwe baca bamubwira amajambo menshi kugira ngo aryoherwe, kandi n’ivyo nyene biri n’ico bifasha. Amajambo menshi aratuma umwana aca yipfuza kugira ico avuze. Ukwo kuza baravuga bahanahana birigisha umwana ibintu vy’ishimikiro bigize ikiyago, buno bukaba ari ubuhanga azokoresha mu buzima bwiwe bwose.

Uruhara rw’abavyeyi rurahinduka uko umwana akura

Abavyeyi baguma bafise ibintu vyinshi cane bakora mu kuronsa inzoya zabo ivyo zikenera buri musi. Umwana ararira hakaba hariho uwumwonsa. Umwana ararira hakaba hariho uwumuhindurira ivyahi. Umwana ararira hakaba hariho uwumuterura. Ukwo kumwitwararika kurabereye kandi kurakenewe. Ni bwo buryo nyamukuru abavyeyi bashitsa ibanga ryabo ryo kubungabunga abana.​—⁠1 Abatesalonika 2:7.

Twisunze ivyo, ni ibisanzwe ko umwana abona yuko ari we muntu ahambaye kuruta abandi bose be n’uko abakuze, na canecane abavyeyi biwe, ata kindi babereyeho atari ugukora ikintu cose abategetse. Kubona ibintu muri ubwo buryo ntibibereye mugabo birumvikana cane. Uribuka yuko uwo mwana aba amaze umwaka urenga abona ivyo bintu. Abona yuko ari umwami w’inganji nganzasi ibamwo abantu benshi bashizwe ng’aho kugira ngo baze baramukorera. Umuhanuzi w’ingo John Rosemond yandika ati: “Bisaba imyaka idashika ibiri kugira ngo umwana atsimbataze ico ciyumviro kitabaho; bigasaba n’imiburiburi imyaka irenga cumi n’itandatu kugira ngo kimuvemwo! Kandi naho umengo ntivyumvikana, ico ni igikorwa c’umuvyeyi: aratuma umwana wiwe abona ibintu muri ubwo buryo butabaho, mu nyuma na ho akamwigisha bukebuke yuko ivyo bintu atari vyo.”

Iyo umwana ashikanye nk’imyaka ibiri, aca atangura kumenya yuko ico ciyumviro atari co igihe umuvyeyi areka kuba uwumubungabunga akaba uwumwigisha. Ico gihe uwo mwana aramenya yuko abavyeyi biwe batariko barakurikiza ubuyobozi bwiwe; ahubwo ko biteze yuko akurikiza ubwabo. Ni nk’aho ubwami bw’uwo mwana buba bwatembagajwe, kandi yoshobora kutakira neza iyo ntwaro nshasha. Kubera ko aba ababaye cane, aca agerageza kunana. Gute?

Ingene wovyifatamwo muri ca kiringo co kwishavuza

Abana benshi iyo bashikanye nk’imyaka ibiri, barahindura bimwe bikomeye inyifato, akenshi bakaza barerekana ko bashavuye. Ico kiringo kiratesha umutwe cane abavyeyi bikaba bivugwa yuko ari co kiringo kigoye cane kuruta ibindi! Uwo mwana aca atangura kuza aravuga ngo “Oya!” canke ngo “Ndanse!” Yoshobora kwishavurira akongera agashavurira abavyeyi biwe uko arwana n’inyiyumvo zinyinyanira muri we. Ashaka kuba kure yawe, mugabo kandi akipfuza kuba hafi yawe. Ku bavyeyi baba babuze ico bafata n’ico bareka, bisa n’uko badatahura na gato ibiriko birashika, eka mbere ko ivyo bakora vyose ari impfagusa. Ni ibiki none biba biriko birashika?

Rimbura ihinduka rikomeye riba ryabaye mu buzima bw’uwo mwana aba ariko ariga gutambuka. Gushika ico gihe, yakira kuniha abakuze bagaca baza amaguru adakora hasi. Ubu na ho aratanguye gutahura yuko ico twokwita ikiringo c’intwaro yiwe cari ic’akanya gatoya gusa be n’uko azobwirizwa n’imiburiburi kugira ivyo akoze atarinze gufashwa. Ararushiriza gutahura yuko abwirizwa kuyoboka, ico kintu Bibiliya ikaba ikivuga muri make iti: “Yemwe bana, mugamburukire abavyeyi banyu muri vyose.”​—⁠Abakolosayi 3:⁠20.

Muri ico kiringo kigoye, abavyeyi barakwiye kubandanya gukoresha ubukuru bwabo. Mu gihe babigize bashikamye mugabo mu buryo buranga urukundo, uwo mwana azomenyera uruhara rwiwe rushasha. Vyongeye ivyo yiga bizomufasha kwitegurira ibindi bintu bitangaje bijanye n’ikura ryiwe.

Imico runtu

Ibikoko, mbere n’amamashini, birashobora kumenya amajambo no kwigana imvugo. Mugabo umuntu ni we gusa ashobora gufata akanya akisuzuma. Ku bw’ivyo, ku myaka nk’ibiri canke itatu umwana aba ashoboye kugira inyiyumvo nk’ubwibone, isoni, ukwiyagiriza be n’ukumaramara. Ivyo ni vyo bintu vya mbere bimushikana ku kuba umuntu akuze afise imico runtu, uwushobora gushigikira ikibereye ashikamye, n’igihe nyene abandi baba bariko barakora ibintu bibi.

Nko muri ico gihe nyene, abavyeyi barahimbarwa no kwibonera ikindi kintu gitangaje. Umwana wabo aratangura gutahura ukuntu abandi biyumva. Igihe yari afise imyaka ibiri, yakinira iruhande y’abandi gusa, mugabo ubu arashobora gukina na bo. Vyongeye, aramenya igihe abavyeyi biwe bamerewe neza kandi yoshobora kwipfuza kubahimbara. Gutyo, birashoboka ko arushiriza kuba umuntu yoroshe kwigisha.

Ico gihe kuruta ikindi gihe cose, umwana w’imyaka itatu aratangura kumenya ingingo ngenderwako zigenga ikibereye n’ikitabereye, iciza n’ikibi. Biragaragara yuko ico ari co gihe c’uko abavyeyi bigisha abana babo bafise intumbero yo kubafasha kuzoba abantu bakuze bitaho ibintu.

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Mu misi mikeyi gusa, uruyoya ruba rumaze kumenyera ijwi rya nyina warwo kandi akaba ari ryo ruhimbarwa no kwumva aho kwumva iry’uwundi muntu

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Ico gihe kuruta ikindi gihe cose, umwana w’imyaka itatu aratangura kumenya ingingo ngenderwako zigenga ikibereye n’ikitabereye, iciza n’ikibi

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IGITUMA UMWANA YOSHOBORA KUGUMA YISHAVUZA

Uwitwa John Rosemond yanditse mu gitabu kimwe (New Parent Power) yuko “abavyeyi bamwebamwe bibaza ko umwana wabo yerekana yuko ashavuye bitumwe n’uko baba bakoze ikosa mu kuntu bavyifashemwo igihe yagira ivyo abasavye. Biyumvira ko nimba ari bo batumye uwo mwana ashavura bategerezwa guca bagira ico bakoze kugira ngo batunganye iyo ngorane. Ku bw’ivyo, ico baba bamwimye baca bakimuha. Canke, igihe baba bamucishijeko abana b’intoke, baca bamuha ibiruta ivyo yari yasavye, kugira ngo bareke kwiyagiriza. Ivyo biragira ico bivuyemwo. Kwa kwishavuza kurahera, umuvyeyi akiruhutsa, umwana na we, amaze kumenya yuko kwishavuza ari uburyo bwiza butuma aronka ivyo asavye, agaca arushiriza kuza arabigenza gutyo.”