‘Nunezererwe umugore wo mu buto bwawe’

“Unezererwe umugore wo mu buto bgawe. N’iki cotuma ga mwana wanje, uhimbarwa n’umugore w’icigenze?”.​—IMIGANI 5:18, 20.

BIBILIYA iravuga idaca ku ruhande ibijanye n’amabanga mpuzabitsina. Mu Migani 5:18, 19, dusoma duti: “Isōko yawe igire umugisha, kand’unezererwe umugore wo mu buto bgawe. Nk’impongokazi y’urukundo n’ingeregere y’igikundiro amabere yiwe akubumbe ibihe vyose; kandi wame uhimbarwa n’urukundo rwiwe”.

² Muri ico canditswe, ijambo “isōko” ryerekeza kw’isôko ry’uguhimbarwa mu vy’igitsina. Iryo sôko riri n’umugisha, ni ukuvuga rirahezagiwe, kubera yuko urukundo n’uguhimbarwa abubakanye bagira, ari ingabirano iva ku Mana. Ariko rero, ukwo kunywana gukwiye kuba gusa hagati y’abubakanye. Ni co gituma rero Umwami Salomo wa Isirayeli akaba n’umwanditsi w’Imigani, abaza ikibazo gifasha umuntu kuzirikana ati: “N’iki cotuma ga mwana wanje, uhimbarwa n’umugore w’icigenze, ukagwa mu gikiriza c’ūtar’uwawe?”.​—Imigani 5:20.

³ Umugabo n’umugore, ku musi bagira ubugeni, baragiranira indagano y’icese yo gukundana no kutigera bahemukiranira. Yamara rero, imibano myinshi usanga isamburwa n’ukurenga ibigo. Nkako, umushakashatsi umwe, amaze kwihweza ivyigwa birenga 24 vyagizwe, yavuze yuko “ibice 25 kw’ijana vy’abagore hamwe n’ibice 44 kw’ijana vy’abagabo bari bamaze kurenga ibigo”. Intumwa Paulo yavuze ati: “Ntimuzimire: abashakanyi, cank’abasenga ibigirwamana, cank’[“abarenga ibigo”, NW], cank’abagabo bendwa, cank’abagabo bendana . . . ntibazoragwa ubgami bg’Imana” (1 Ab’i Korinto 6:9, 10). Emwe, biratomoye yuko ukurenga ibigo ari icaha gikomeye mu nyonga z’Imana, kandi abayisenga b’ukuri bategerezwa kwirinda guhemukira abo bubakanye. Ni igiki none kizofasha ababiranye gutuma ‘umubano wabo uguma wubashwe, kandi uburiri bwabo bukaguma budahumanye’?​—Abaheburayo 13:4.

Uragaba ku bijanye n’umutima wibesha

⁴ Muri iki gihe aho usanga inyifato runtu yaratitutse, abantu benshi “amaso yabo yuzuye [“ukurenga ibigo”, NW], [kandi] ntahāga ivyaha” (2 Petero 2:14). Baragiranira imigenderanire y’ivy’urukundo n’abo batubakanye, kandi bakabigira nkana. Mu bihugu bimwebimwe abagore benshi cane basigaye bakora akazi, kandi kuba abantu b’ibitsina vyose bakorana vyatumye vyoroha ko haza haraba ivyo gukundana bitabereye hagati yabo. Uretse ivyo, ya mihora yo kuri Internet yo kuganirirako yaratumye vyoroha ko n’abantu b’amasoni rwose bashobora gutangura kugiranira ubucuti bwa hafi n’abo badasangiye igitsina biciye kuri ubwo buhinga. Hari abubatse benshi basanga ivyo bibata mu mitego nk’iyo batanabizi.

⁵ Raba ukuntu umukirisu umwe twise Mary yasanze yaguye mu bintu vyatumye ahakwa kugwa mu busambanyi. Umunega wiwe, uno akaba atari Icabona ca Yehova, ntiyagaragariza urukundo umuryango wiwe. Mary aribuka igihe kimwe aho yahura n’umugabo umwe yakorana n’umunega wiwe, ubu hakaba haciye imyaka nk’ingahe bahuye. Ubiravye, uwo mugabo yari umuntu w’urupfasoni, kandi mu nyuma yahavuye yerekana ko anashimishwa n’ivyo Mary yemera mu vy’idini. Mary avuga ati: “Yari umuntu ameze neza cane, atandukanye cane n’umunega wanje”. Budakeye na kabiri, Mary n’uwo mugabo yakorana n’umunega wiwe baragomwanye. Yibwiye ati: “Kizima ntararenga ibigo! Kandi uwo mugabo arashimishwa n’ivya Bibiliya. Hari aho noshobora kumufasha”.

⁶ Mary yarigaruye ubwo bucuti burimwo ivy’ugukundana butaramushikana ku kurenga ibigo (Ab’i Galatiya 5:19-21; Abanyefeso 4:19). Ijwi ryiwe ryo mu mutima ryarasubiye gukora neza, maze aca atangura kugorora ibintu. Ivyashikiye Mary birerekana yuko “umutima [w]ibesha kuruta ibindi vyose” kandi ko “urwaye indwara itavūrwa” (Yeremiya 17:9). Bibiliya iduhanura iti: “Rinda umutima wawe kurusha uko worinda ikindi cose” (Imigani 4:23). Ivyo twobigira gute?

‘Umunyamakenga arikinga’

⁷ Intumwa Paulo yanditse ati: “Uwiyumvira kw ahagaze ni yiyubare ntagwe” (1 Ab’i Korinto 10:12). Mu Migani 22:3 na ho havuga hati: “Umunyamakenga iy’abonye ikibi kije, arīkinga”. Aho kwiyizigira birenze urugero ukibwira ngo ‘Nta co nzoba’, vyoba biranga ubukerebutsi ugerageje kubona imbere y’igihe ibintu vyoshobora gutuma ugira ingorane. Nk’akarorero, niwirinde kuba ari wewe gusa umuntu kanaka mudasangiye igitsina yama yitura ku bijanye n’ingorane zitesha umutwe afise mu mubano wiwe (Imigani 11:14). Numubwire yuko ingorane zo mu mubano w’abubatse biba vyiza kuruta aziganiriye n’uwo bubakanye, canke umukirisu ahumuye basangiye igitsina yipfuza ko umubano wiwe uroranirwa, kibure abakurambere (Tito 2:3, 4). Abakurambere bo mu mashengero y’Ivyabona vya Yehova baratanga akarorero keza muri ivyo. Igihe umukurambere akeneye kuyaga n’umuvukanyikazi mukirisu ari babiri gusa, abigirira aho abandi babona, nk’akarorero ku Ngoro y’Ubwami.

⁸ Igihe uri ku kazi canke ahandi hantu, niwirinde ibintu vyoshobora gutuma haba ubucuti bwa hafi hagati yawe n’uwundi muntu mudasangiye igitsina. Nk’akarorero, kumara amasaha yiyongereye uriko ukorana n’umuntu mudasangiye igitsina birashobora gutuma woshwa nabi. Kubera ko uri umugabo canke umugore yubatse, ukwiye kwerekana mu buryo butomoye, mu mvugo no mu nyifato, yuko udashaka kugiranira mwene ubwo bucuti n’uwundi muntu atari uwo mwubakanye. Kubera ko uri umuntu arondera kwubaha Imana, nta gukeka ko utorondera gutuma uwundi muntu mutubakanye atangura kukwiyumvira kandi bitabereye, mu kumenyerana na we cane canke mu kwambara kibure kwitunganya mu buryo butaranga urupfasoni (1 Timoteyo 4:8; 6:11; 1 Petero 3:3, 4). Kuba ufise amafoto y’umunega wawe be n’ay’abana bawe aho ukorera bizoza birakwibutsa vyongera vyibutsa n’abandi yuko uri n’abo ushira imbere. Niwiyemeze kutigera ukora ibintu bituma uwundi muntu yubahuka kukuryosharyosha canke mbere ngo wirekerane.​—Yobu 31:1.

‘Baho ufise umunezero, mwe n’umugore wawe ukunda’

⁹ Kurinda umutima wacu ntibisobanura gusa kwirinda ibintu vyoduta mu kaga. Igihe umugabo canke umugore akwegerwa mu vy’urukundo n’uwundi muntu batubakanye, vyoshobora kuba ikimenyetso c’uko we n’uwo bubakanye batitwararikana. Umugore ashobora kuba atigera yitwararikwa canke na ho ugasanga ni umugabo yama ariko aratorwa amahinyu. Maze, haraza uwundi muntu, yaba ari uwo bahuriye ku kazi canke mbere wo mw’ishengero rya gikirisu, asa n’uwufise zirya kamere nyene uwo munega canke uwo mugore ahajije. Kerakera ubucuti ng’ubwo bwatanguye, hanyuma bugakomera ku buryo bisa nk’aho bitoshoboka ko babuhagarika. Ivyo bintu bigenda bikurikirana bidashoka vyibonekeza, birerekana ko aya majambo yo muri Bibiliya ari ay’ukuri, agira ati: “Umuntu wese ageragezwa, iy’akwezwe n’ivyo yifuza bikamusuka”.​—Yakobo 1:14.

¹⁰ Abubakanye, aho kuronderera ku wundi muntu ivyo bipfuza, kwaba ari ukugaragarizwa igishika, ubugenzi, canke ugufatwa mu mugongo mu gihe c’ibintu bigoye cane, bakwiye kwihatira gukomeza ubucuti burangwa urukundo hagati yabo. Uko bishoboka kwose, nimuze muramarana umwanya, maze murushirize kuba abagenzi. Nimuzirikane ku vyatumye umwe wese muri mwebwe agomwa uwundi. Nugerageze kwiyumvamwo ca gishika nyene wagirira uwo muntu mwahavuye mwubakana. Niwiyumvire ibihe biryoshe mwagiye muracamwo. Nimusenge Imana ku bijanye n’ico kintu kibaraje ishinga. Wa mwanditsi wa Zaburi Dawidi yinginze Yehova ati: “Mana, undememw’umutima utunganye: unsubizemw’umutima uhamye” (Zaburi 51:10). Niwiyemeze ‘kubaho ufise umunezero mwe n’umugore wawe [canke umugabo wawe] ukunda, imisi yose y’ukubaho kwawe Imana yaguhaye munsi y’izuba’.​—Umusiguzi 9:9.

¹¹ Ikintu abubakanye batokwirengagiza mu bijanye n’ugukomeza umubano wabo, ni agaciro k’ubumenyi, ubukerebutsi be n’ugutahura. Mu Migani 24:3, 4 hagira hati: ‘Ubwenge ni bwo bwubaka urugo, kandi [“ugutahura”, NW] ni kwo kurukomeza; [“ubumenyi”, NW] ni bwo bwuzuza inzu zo muri rwo ubutunzi bwose bw’igiciro kinini kandi bw’igikundiro’. Mu bintu vy’igiciro usanga vyuzuye mu rugo ruhimbawe, harimwo kamere nk’urukundo, ukudahemukiranira, ugutinya Imana n’ukwizera. Kugira izo kamere bisaba kuba umuntu afise ubumenyi bwerekeye Imana. Uca utahura rero ko abubakanye bakwiye kuba abantu biga Bibiliya n’ubwira. Ubwenge, canke ubukerebutsi, hamwe n’ugutahura vyovyo bihambaye ku rugero rungana iki? Kugira ngo umuntu avyifatemwo neza mu ngorane za misi yose, bisaba ko aba afise ubukerebutsi, ubwo na bwo bukaba ari ubushobozi bwo gukoresha ubumenyi bwo mu Vyanditswe. Umuntu afise ugutahura arategera ivyiyumviro vy’uwo bubakanye be n’uburyo yiyumva (Imigani 20:5). Yehova avuga biciye kuri Salomo ati: “Mwana wanje, shira umutima ku bgenge bganje; tega ugutwi uburyo bganje bgo gutahura”.​—Imigani 5:1.

Igihe hari “amagorwa”

¹² Nta mubano n’umwe utagira ingorane. Bibiliya mbere ivuga yuko abagabo n’abagore bagira “amagorwa mu mubiri” (1 Ab’i Korinto 7:28). Imyitwarariko, indwara, uruhamo, be n’ibindi bintu birashobora gutuma umubano w’ababiranye ugira ingorane. Ariko rero, igihe havyutse ingorane murakenera kurondera kuzitorera umuti hamwe, uko muri abantu bubakanye badahemukiranira barondera guhimbara Yehova.

¹³ Bite ho nka hamwe umubano w’abubatse woba uri n’ingorane bivuye ku kuntu bafatana? Gutorera umuti iyo ngorane bisaba akigoro. Nk’akarorero, imvugo itaranga ubuntu yoshobora kuba imaze kumenera mu mubano wabo, kandi ikaba ari yo isigaye iharangwa (Imigani 12:18). Nk’uko twabibonye mu kiganiro c’imbere y’iki, ivyo birashobora kugira ingaruka mbi cane. Umugani umwe wo muri Bibiliya uvuga uti: “Wopfuma uba mu gihugu c’ubugaragwa, hak’ubana n’umugore w’ingāre yitoraguza” (Imigani 21:19). Nimba uri umukenyezi, umubano wanyu ukaba wifashe gutyo, niwibaze uti: ‘Ukuntu meze kwoba gutuma umunega wanje atoroherwa no kumarana umwanya nanje?’. Bibiliya ibwira abanega iti: “Mukunde abagore banyu, ntimubabere umururazi” (Ab’i Kolosayi 3:19). Nimba uri umunega, niwibaze uti: ‘Noba ntagirira igishika umukenyezi wanje, bigatuma aca aronderera ahandi uwomuhumuriza?’. Ego ni ko, nta citwazo na kimwe cotuma umuntu arenga ibigo. Yamara rero, kuba ico kintu kibabaje rwose coshobora gushika ni impamvu yumvikana yotuma muganira ku ngorane zihari ata guhishanya.

¹⁴ Kurondera guhumurizwa mu kugiranira imigenderanire y’ivy’urukundo n’uwundi muntu mutubakanye, si wo muti w’ingorane zo mu mubano. Mwene iyo migenderanire ishobora gushikana ku ki? Ku wundi mubano mwiza kuruta? Ukwo ni ko bamwe boshobora kwiyumvira. Bashobora kwisigura bati: ‘Kanatsinda, uwo muntu afise za kamere nyene nipfuza ko uwo twokwubakana yogira’. Ariko kwiyumvira gutyo ni ukwihenda, kubera yuko umuntu wese aheba uwo bubakanye canke umuntu wese akuremesha guheba uwo mwubakanye, aba atubaha na gato ubweranda bw’umubano w’abubatse. Wumva none umuntu yokwitega yuko iyo migenderanire yovamwo umubano mwiza kuruta?

¹⁵ Mary, umwe twari twavuze, yarazirikanye cane ku ngaruka z’ingendo yariko arakurikira, ushizemwo n’ukuba yari gushobora gutuma we ubwiwe canke uwundi muntu ataba agishimwa n’Imana (Ab’i Galatiya 6:7). Avuga ati: “Igihe natangura gusuzuma inyiyumvo nari mfitiye nya mugabo yakorana n’umunega wanje, naciye mbona yuko nariko mbuza uwo mugabo akaryo ako ari ko kose yoronka ko kumenya ukuri. Gukora ikintu kibi vyogize ingaruka mbi ku bakigizemwo uruhara bose bikongera bigatsitaza abandi!”.​—2 Ab’i Korinto 6:3.

Imvo ikomeye kuruta izindi zose yo kudahemukiranira

¹⁶ Bibiliya igabisha iti: “Iminwa y’umugore w’icigenze itonyanga nk’ikigigu c’ubūki, kand’akanwa kiwe kanyerera kurusha amavuta ya elayo: arikw iherezo ryiwe rirura nk’umururazi, rikarishe nk’ubūgi bg’inkota” (Imigani 5:3, 4). Ingaruka z’ubuhumane bwo mu nyifato runtu zirababaza kandi iherezo ryabwo rishobora kuba urupfu. Muri izo ngaruka harimwo ijwi ryo mu mutima ryagiriza uwarenze ibigo, ukwandura indwara zifatira mu bihimba vy’irondoka, n’ukuvunika umutima kw’uwo yahemukiye. Emwe, iyo ni imvo yumvikana yotuma umuntu adatangura kugendera mu nzira ishobora kumushikana ku guhemukira uwo bubakanye.

¹⁷ Imvo nyamukuru ituma uguhemukira uwo mwubakanye kuba ikintu kibi ni uko Yehova, Umwe yatanguje umubano akaba ari na we Mutanzi w’ubushobozi bwo kurangura amabanga mpuzabitsina yiyamiriza ico kintu. Biciye ku muhanuzi Malaki, avuga ati: “Nzobēgēra nce amateka; nzokwihutira kwagiriza . . . [“abarenga ibigo”, NW]” (Malaki 3:5). Ku bijanye n’ivyo Yehova abona, mu Migani 5:21 havuga hati: “Ingendo z’umuntu zir’imbere y’inyonga z’Uhoraho, kand’[“arihweza”, NW] inzira ziwe zose”. Vy’ukuri, “vyose vyambaye ubusa, biragaragara, imbere y’inyonga z’Iyizotubaza ivyo twakoze” (Abaheburayo 4:13). Rero, imvo ikomeye kuruta izindi zose yo kudahemukira uwo mwubakanye ni ugutahura yuko naho uguhemukira uwundi kwohishwa gute, kandi naho ingaruka zakwo zo ku mubiri canke mu kibano zosa nk’aho zidakomeye, ikintu cose c’ubuhumane bwo mu vy’igitsina conona ubucuti dufitaniye na Yehova.

¹⁸ Akarorero ka Yozefu, wa muhungu w’umwe sekuruza w’imiryango Yakobo, karerekana ko icipfuzo co kuguma umuntu afitaniye amahoro n’Imana ari imvo ikomeye ituma agira ico akoze. Yozefu amaze gutona kuri Potifari, uwari umugendanyi wo ku kirimba kwa Farawo, yarahawe ikibanza kiri hejuru mu rugo kwa Potifari. N’ikindi kandi, Yozefu “yari mwiza w’umunyakaranga”, ivyo na vyo muka Potifari akaba yarabibonye. Imisi yose yaragerageza kuryosharyosha Yozefu ngo baryamane, ariko bikaba ivy’ubusa. Ni igiki none cafashije Yozefu kudatwarwa n’amajambo yose ya muka Potifari yo kumuryosharyosha? Bibiliya itubwira iti: “[Y]ariyankira, [ak]ishura inabuja, at’Erega databuja . . . nta co yisigarije ngw akinyime atari wewe, kuk’ur’umugore wiwe: none noshobora nte gukora icaha kingana girtyo, ngacumura ku Mana?”.​—Itanguriro 39:1-12.

¹⁹ Uwo musore Yozefu yaragumye adahumanye mu nyifato runtu mu kwanka kuryamana n’umugore w’uwundi mugabo. Mu Migani 5:15 habwira abagabo bubatse hati: “Unywe amazi yo mw isōko yawe wiharije, n’amazi atemba yo mw iriba ryawe”. Niwirinde ntuhave usanga, utanabizi, wagiraniye n’umuntu mutubakanye ubucuti burimwo ivy’ugukundana. Nimwihatire gukomeza urukundo rwo mu mubano wanyu, kandi mugerageze gutorera umuti ingorane zose zo mu mubano zobashikira. Uko vyogenda kwose, ‘nunezererwe umugore wo mu buto bwawe’.​—Imigani 5:18.

Wize iki?

• Umukirisu yubatse yoshobora gute gusanga atanabizi yagiraniye imigenderanire y’ivy’urukundo n’uwundi muntu?

• Ni ibintu ibihe bishobora gufasha umuntu kwirinda kugiranira n’uwundi muntu batubakanye ubucuti burimwo ivy’ugukundana?

• Igihe abubakanye bagize ingorane mu mubano wabo, ni igiki bakwiye gukora?

• Ni imvo iyihe ikomeye kuruta izindi zose yo kudahemukira uwo mwubakanye?

[Ibibazo vy’icigwa]

1, 2. Ni kubera iki vyovugwa yuko urukundo ruba hagati y’umugabo n’umugore ruhezagiwe?

3. (a) Ni ikintu kibabaje ikihe gishikira imibano myinshi y’abubatse? (b) Imana ibona gute ukurenga ibigo?

4. Ni mu buryo bumwebumwe ubuhe umukirisu yubatse ashobora gusanga yagiraniye atanabizi imigenderanire y’ivy’urukundo n’umuntu batubakanye?

5, 6. Umuvukanyikazi umwe yasanze yaguye gute mu bintu birimwo akaga, kandi ivyo bitwigisha iki?

7. Igihe umuntu aba ariko afasha uwundi ku bijanye n’ingorane zo mu mubano, ni impanuro izihe zo mu Vyanditswe yokurikiza zikamubera uburinzi?

8. Ni ibiki dukwiye kugabako aho dukorera?

9. Ni ibintu ibihe bigenda bikurikirana, bishobora gutuma kugiranira ubucuti n’uwundi muntu burimwo ivy’ugukundana biba ibikwegera?

10. Abubakanye bashobora gute gukomeza ubucuti bafitaniye?

11. Ubumenyi, ubukerebutsi be n’ugutahura bigira uruhara uruhe mu bijanye no gukomeza umubano w’abubatse?

12. Ni kubera iki bidatangaje kuba abubakanye bashikirwa n’ingorane?

13. Ni mu mice iyihe umunega n’umukenyezi bashobora kwisuzumamwo?

14, 15. Ni kubera iki kugiranira imigenderanire y’ivy’urukundo n’umuntu mutubakanye atari wo muti w’ingorane zo mu mubano?

16. Ingaruka zimwezimwe z’ubuhumane bwo mu nyifato runtu ni izihe?

17. Ni imvo iyihe ikomeye kuruta izindi zose yo kudahemukira uwo mwubakanye?

18, 19. Inkuru yerekeye Yozefu na muka Potifari itwigisha iki?

[Ifoto ku rup. 26]

Birababaje kubona ku kazi bishobora kworoha cane ko haba ivy’ugukundana bitabereye hagati y’abakorana

[Ifoto ku rup. 28]

‘Ubumenyi ni bwo bwuzuza inzu ibintu vy’igikundiro’