Ntutane n’akabando umubano wawe w’abubatse

“Abubatse ndabaha aya mabwirizwa, yamara si jewe ahubwo ni Umukama.”​—1 KOR. 7:10.

WOSHOBORA KUBISIGURA?

Ni mu buryo ubuhe Imana ibohera ku ngǒgo imwe abubakanye?

Abakurambere bashobora gute gufasha abakirisu bafise ingorane mu mubano wabo w’ababiranye?

Dukwiye kubona gute umubano w’ababiranye?

1. Abakirisu babona gute umubano w’ababiranye, kandi kubera iki?

IGIHE abakirisu bubakanye, baragira indagano imbere y’Imana, iryo rikaba ari ibanga badakwiye gufata minenerwe. (Umus. 5:4-6) Kubera yuko Yehova ari we yatanguje indinganizo y’umubano w’ababiranye, “ya[ra]boheye ku ngǒgo imwe” abubakanye. (Mrk 10:9) Imana ibona yuko iyo ngǒgo iriho naho amategeko agenga ivy’ukwabirana yo mu gihugu kinaka yoba avuga iki. Abasavyi ba Yehova bakwiye kubona ko umubano w’ababiranye ari indinganizo ituma umugabo n’umugore baboherwa hamwe, baba bari abasavyi biwe igihe bagira ubugeni canke batari bo.

2. Ni ibibazo ibihe vyihwezwa muri iki kiganiro?

² Umubano w’ababiranye uroraniwe urashobora kuvamwo agahimbare kenshi. Ariko none, hokorwa iki mu gihe ubucuti buri hagati y’abubakanye butifashe neza? Umubano w’ababiranye urimwo ingorane woba ushobora gukomezwa? Ni igiki cofasha abubakanye batagira amahoro mu mubano wabo?

WOBA UZOTERA UMUNEZERO CANKE UZOTERA INTUNTU?

3, 4. Ni ibiki vyoshobora gushika umuntu afashe ingingo itaranga ubukerebutsi igihe ahitamwo uwo bazokwubakana?

³ Igihe umubano w’ababiranye w’abakirisu uroraniwe, birazana umunezero bikongera bigatera iteka Yehova. Mu gihe na ho usambutse, birateza intuntu ikomeye. Umukirisu yiyumvira kwubaka urwiwe, arafise akaryo ko gushinga intango nziza y’umubano wiwe mu gukurikiza ubuyobozi Imana itanga. Ariko rero, umuntu afashe ingingo itaranga ubukerebutsi igihe ahitamwo uwo bazokwubakana, yoshobora kubura agahimbare akongera agatuntura. Nk’akarorero abakiri bato bamwebamwe, batangura kureshanya igihe baba bataragera kwikorera amabanga yerekeye ubuzima bwo mu rugo. Abantu bamwebamwe bararonderera kuri Internet uwo bazokwubakana, bakihutira gushinga urwabo maze bagasanga bari mu mubano utagiramwo agahimbare namba. Abandi barakora igicumuro gikomeye mu gihe co kureshanya maze bagapfa kwubakana, mugabo boshobora gutangura ubuzima bwo mu mubano wabo batubahana na gato.

⁴ Abakirisu bamwebamwe ntibubaka “mu Mukama gusa” bakaba bashikirwa n’ingaruka zibabaza zikunda gushikira abubakanye n’abo badasangiye idini. (1 Kor. 7:39) Nimba ivyawe ari ukwo vyifashe, nusenge Imana uyisaba ngo ikubabarire yongere igufashe. Ntikuraho ingaruka z’amakosa umuntu yakoze muri kahise, mugabo irafasha abigaye kwihanganira ibigeragezo. (Zab. 130:1-4) Niwihatire guhimbara Imana ubu be n’ibihe bidahera maze ‘akanyamuneza ka Yehova kazoba igihome gikomeye cawe.’​—Neh. 8:10.

IGIHE UMUBANO W’ABABIRANYE UHUNGABANYE

5. Ni ivyiyumviro ibihe abari mu mubano w’ababiranye utarimwo agahimbare bakwiye kwirinda?

⁵ Abafise ingorane mu mubano w’ababiranye boshobora kwibaza bati: ‘Vyoba vy’ukuri bibereye ko ngerageza kurokora umubano wacu utagiramwo agahimbare? Iyaba vyakunda ngasubiza ubuzima bwanje inyuma maze nkubakana n’uwundi muntu!’ Boshobora kwiyumvira ivyo guheba abo bubakanye, bakibwira bati: ‘Ese nosubira kugira umwidegemvyo! Mbega none sinorondera uburenganzira bwo kwahukana? Naho nyene ata mvo ishingiye ku Vyanditswe mfise yo kwahukana, sinoshobora none gutandukana n’uwo twubakanye maze ngasubira kunezererwa ubuzima?’ Aho kwiyumvira gutyo canke kwiyumvira ukuntu ubuzima bwari kuba bwifashe, abakirisu barakwiye gukora uko bashoboye kwose muri ukwo kuntu ivyabo vyifashe, mu kurondera ubuyobozi buva ku Mana no mu kubukurikiza.

6. Sigura ivyo Yezu yavuze, nk’uko vyanditswe muri Matayo 19:9.

⁶ Hamwe umukirisu yoba arondera uburenganzira bwo kwahukana, hari aho Ivyanditswe vyoba canke bitoba bimurekurira kwubakana n’uwundi muntu. Yezu yavuze ati: “Uwo wese yirukana umugore wiwe atamuhoye ubusambanyi akarongora uwundi, aba arenze ibigo.” (Mat. 19:9) Ng’aho, “ubusambanyi” burimwo ukurenga ibigo be n’ibindi bicumuro bikomeye bijanye n’igitsina. Birahambaye cane ko umukirisu asuzuma abijanisha n’isengesho iciyumviro ico ari co cose co kwahukana mu gihe we canke uwo bubakanye ata n’umwe yagirwa n’ubuhumbu.

7. Abantu boshobora kwiyumvira iki mu gihe umubano w’ababiranye w’abakirisu usambutse?

⁷ Igihe umubano w’ababiranye usambutse vyoshobora kwerekana ko ivy’umuntu bitifashe neza mu vy’impwemu. Intumwa Paulo yabajije iki kibazo gihambaye ati: “Nimba koko umuntu atazi guhagarikira urugo rwiwe bwite, azobungabunga gute ishengero ry’Imana?” (1 Tim. 3:5) Nkako, igihe abubakanye bompi bavuga yuko ari abakirisu yamara umubano wabo ugasambuka, abantu boshobora kwiyumvira yuko uwo mugabo n’umugore wiwe badakurikiza vy’ukuri ivyo bigisha.​—Rom. 2:21-24.

8. Ni igiki kiba kitagenda neza mu gihe abakirisu bubakanye bahisemwo kuvana?

⁸ Igihe abubakanye babatijwe bariko bariyumvira ivyo gutandukana canke kwahukana ku mvo zidashingiye ku Vyanditswe, nta gukeka ko haba hariho ikitagenda neza mu vy’impwemu mu buzima bwabo. Biboneka ko umwe muri bo canke bompi bataba bariko barakurikiza ingingo ngenderwako zo mu Vyanditswe. Nimba vy’ukuri ‘bizigira Yehova n’umutima wabo wose,’ nta kintu na kimwe cobabuza kurokora umubano wabo w’ababiranye.​—Soma Imigani 3:5, 6.

9. Abakirisu bamwebamwe bahezagiwe gute kubera utwigoro turanga ukwihangana bagize mu bijanye n’umubano w’ababiranye?

⁹ Imibano y’ababiranye myishi yasa n’iyiri mu gusambuka yahavuye iroranirwa cane. Abakirisu batihutira guheba abo bubakanye igihe umubano wabo urimwo ingorane akenshi barahakura ivyiza. Rimbura ibishobora gushika mu rugo rugizwe n’abantu badasangiye idini. Intumwa Petero yanditse ati: “Namwe bagore, . . . muyobokere abagabo banyu bwite, kugira ngo nimba hari abatagamburukira rya jambo, bagondozwe ata jambo rivuzwe, biciye ku ngeso z’abagore babo, kubera biboneye ingeso zanyu zitanduye ziri kumwe n’icubahiro kigera kure.” (1 Pet. 3:1, 2) Egome, uwutemera yoshobora kwakira ukwizera nyakuri kubera ingeso nziza z’uwo bubakanye! Umubano nk’uwo uba urokotse uratera iteka Imana kandi urashobora kuba umuhezagiro ukomeye ku mugabo, ku mugore no ku bana boshobora kuba bafise.

10, 11. Ni ingorane izihe zitari zitezwe zoshobora gushika mu mubano w’ababiranye, mugabo ni igiki umukirisu yoshobora kwemera adakeka?

¹⁰ Abakirisu benshi batubatse, kubera ko baba bafise icipfuzo co guhimbara Yehova, bahitamwo kwubakana n’abo basangiye ukwemera biyeguye. Ariko rero, n’ico gihe nyene ibintu vyoshobora guhinduka mu buryo batari biteze. Nk’akarorero, naho bidakunda gushika, umwe mu bubakanye yoshobora kugira ingorane zikomeye zo mu mutwe. Canke haciye igihe kinaka yubatse urwiwe, yoshobora guhororokerwa mu gikorwa co kwamamaza. Tubitangire akarorero: Uwitwa Linda,a akaba ari inabibondo w’umukirisu afise umwete kandi akunda Imana, yaritegereje ata co ari buhindure ukuntu umugabo wiwe yabatijwe akurikira ingendo iteye kubiri n’Ivyanditswe maze aracibwa mw’ishengero kubera yanse kwigaya. Abakirisu bari mu bintu nk’ivyo boshobora kubona umenga umubano wabo w’ababiranye ntukivayo. Bakwiye gukora iki none?

¹¹ Woshobora kwibaza uti: ‘Noba ntegerezwa kuguma ngerageza kurokora umubano wacu w’ababiranye naho hoshika iki?’ Nta n’umwe ashobora kugufatira iyo ngingo kandi nta n’umwe akwiye kubigira. Yamara, hariho imvo zumvikana zotuma udaheba uwo mwubakanye igihe umubano wanyu uriko uragoyagoya. Umugabo canke umugore atinya Imana yihanganira ibigeragezo vyo mu mubano urimwo ingorane abitumwe n’ijwi ryiwe ryo mu mutima, ni uw’agaciro imbere y’Imana. (Soma 1 Petero 2:19, 20.) Yehova abicishije kw’Ijambo ryiwe no ku mpwemu yiwe, arafasha umukirisu akora uko ashoboye kwose kugira ngo akomeze umubano w’ababiranye uba utifashe neza.

BARITEGURIYE GUFASHA

12. Abakurambere bazotubona gute nitwabitura ngo badufashe?

¹² Nimba ufise ingorane mu mubano w’ababiranye, ntiwitinye kurondera gufashwa mu buryo bw’impwemu n’abakirisu bahumuye. Abakurambere ni abungere b’ubusho kandi bazohimbarwa no kukwereka impanuro zahumetswe ziri mu Vyanditswe. (Ivyak. 20:28; Yak. 5:14, 15) Ntiwiyumvire ko wewe n’uwo mwubakanye muzoca mureka kwubahwa n’abakurambere nimwabitura ngo babafashe mu buryo bw’impwemu maze mukaganira na bo ku ngorane ikomeye iri mu mubano wanyu. Bazorushiriza kukwitwararikana urukundo kubera yuko bazobona ko wipfuza cane guhimbara Imana.

13. Ni impanuro izihe dusanga mu 1 Abakorinto 7:10-16?

¹³ Igihe abakirisu bubakanye n’abo badasangiye idini basavye abakurambere ngo babafashe, bano barashobora gukoresha impanuro Paulo yatanze zigira ziti: “Abubatse ndabaha aya mabwirizwa, yamara si jewe ahubwo ni Umukama, yuko umugore atovana n’umugabo wiwe; mugabo aramutse avanye na we vy’ukuri, nagume atubatse canke na ho asubirane n’umugabo wiwe; kandi umugabo ntakwiye guta umugore wiwe. . . . Kuko ga mugore, uzi gute ko utazokiza umugabo wawe? Canke ga mugabo, uzi gute ko utazokiza umugore wawe?” (1 Kor. 7:10-16) Ese ukuntu aba ari umuhezagiro igihe umwe mu bubakanye atemera agondojwe akaza mu gusenga kw’ukuri!

14, 15. Ni ryari umukirisu yubakanye n’uwutemera yorimbura ivyo kuvana vy’ukuri na we, mugabo ni kubera iki bihambaye ko arimbura ico kintu abijanisha n’isengesho kandi ata buryarya?

¹⁴ Ni ibiki vyotuma umugore mukirisu ‘avana vy’ukuri’ n’umugabo wiwe? Hari abahisemwo gutandukana n’uwo bubakanye bitumwe n’uko atabaronsa n’ibigirankana ivyo bakeneye. Abandi barabigize kubera ko bagirirwa nabi ku mubiri bimwe birenze urugero canke bari babangamiwe bimwe vyeruye mu vy’impwemu.

¹⁵ Kuvana canke kutavana ni ingingo umwe wese yifatira. Ariko rero, uwo mukirisu arakwiye kurimbura ico kibazo abijanisha n’isengesho kandi ata buryarya. Nk’akarorero, uwo bubakanye atemera yoba ari we gusa yatumye amererwa nabi mu vy’impwemu, canke hari ukuntu uwo mukirisu na we nyene yabigizemwo uruhara mu gufata minenerwe ivyo kwiyigisha Bibiliya, mu kuza arasiba amakoraniro no mu kuza arahorereza mu busuku?

16. Ni igiki gikwiye gutuma abakirisu batihutira gufata ingingo zijanye no kwahukana?

¹⁶ Kuba duha agaciro ubucuti dufitaniye n’Imana tukaba kandi dukenguruka ingabirano y’umubano w’ababiranye iva kuri yo, bikwiye gutuma tutihutira gufata ingingo zijanye n’ukwahukana. Kubera ko turi abasavyi ba Yehova, turarazwa ishinga n’uko izina ryiwe ryeranda ryezwa. Nta gukeka rero yuko tutokwigera dutegekanya guheba uwo twubakanye dufise intumbero yo kwubakana n’uwundi.​—Yer. 17:9; Mal. 2:13-16.

17. Ni ryari vyovugwa yuko Imana yahamagariye abakirisu bubatse amahoro?

¹⁷ Umukirisu yubakanye n’uwutemera arakwiye gukora uko ashoboye kwose kugira ngo umubano wabo w’ababiranye ugume ukomeye. Ariko rero, ntakwiye kwiyagiriza mu gihe uwo bubakanye atemera yanse kugumana na we, naho uwo mukirisu aba yaragize akigoro gakomeye ko kuzigama uwo mubano. Paulo yanditse ati: “Nimba uwutemera agiye, nagende; mwene wacu canke mushiki wacu ntahambirwa igihe ibintu vyifashe gutyo, mugabo Imana yabahamagariye amahoro.”​—1 Kor. 7:15.b

NIWIZIGIRE YEHOVA

18. Naho nyene bitoshoboka ko umuntu arokora umubano wiwe, ni ivyiza ibihe vyoshobora kuva mu twigoro agira two kuwurokora?

¹⁸ Igihe uriko urarondera gutorera umuti ingorane iyo ari yo yose yo mu mubano wawe, nuhange amaso Yehova kugira ngo akuronse umutima rugabo kandi wame na ntaryo umwizigira. (Soma Zaburi 27:14.) Rimbura ivyerekeye Linda, umwe twavuga. Yaruhiye kwahukana, naho yari amaze imyaka myinshi agerageza kurokora umubano wiwe. Yoba abona yuko yaruhiye ubusa? Avuga ati: “Habe na mba! Utwigoro nagize twarashinze intahe nziza ku bavyihweza. Mfise ijwi ryo mu mutima ritanyagiriza ikibi. N’ikiruta vyose, iyo myaka yarafashije umukobwa wacu kuguma ashikamye mu kuri. Yahavuye aba Icabona ca Yehova w’umunyamwete.”

19. Ni ibiki vyoshobora gushika igihe umuntu akoze uko ashoboye kwose kugira arokore umubano wiwe?

¹⁹ Mushiki wacu umwe yitwa Marilyn arahimbarwa no kuba yarizigiye Imana akongera agakora uko ashoboye kwose kugira ngo arokore umubano wiwe w’ababiranye. Avuga ati: “Narumvise nshatse gutandukana n’umugabo wanje kubera yuko atandonsa ivyo nkeneye mu vy’umubiri akaba kandi yarambangamira cane mu vy’impwemu. Ariko ntiwumve, umugabo wanje yahora ari umukurambere imbere y’uko yisuka mu vy’urudandaza rutaranga ubukerebutsi. Yaratanguye gusiba amakoraniro, kandi turahagarika ivyo guseruriranira akari ku mutima. Igitero ba gaterabwoba bagavye mu gisagara twabamwo caranteye ubwoba cane ku buryo nikumira. Mu nyuma, naratahuye yuko na jewe nyene nari mu makosa. Twarasubiye guseruriranira akari ku mutima, turongera kugira inyigisho y’umuryango no kwitaba amakoraniro tudahorereza. Abakurambere baratugaragarije umutima mwiza bongera baradufasha cane. Umubano wacu warasubiye kumera neza. Mu nyuma, umugabo wanje yarasubiye gukwiza ibisabwa araterwa uduteka mw’ishengero. Twahakuye icigwa tubanje gucumukura, mugabo haravuyemwo ivyiza.”

20, 21. Ku bijanye n’umubano w’ababiranye, dukwiye kwiyemeza iki?

²⁰ Twaba tutubatse canke twubatse, nimuze twame dukorana umutima rugabo kandi twizigire Yehova. Nimba turiko turahura n’ingorane mu mubano w’ababiranye, turakwiye kwihatira kuzitorera umuti, twibuka yuko abubakanye “bataba bakiri babiri, ahubwo baba ari umubiri umwe.” (Mat. 19:6) Vyongeye, nimuze twame twibuka yuko mu gihe tugumanye n’uwo twubakanye atemera naho twoba dufise ingorane, twoshobora kugira umunezero uva ku kumugondoza akaza mu gusenga kw’ukuri.

²¹ Uko ivyacu vyoba vyifashe kwose, ese twokwiyemeza gukorana ukwiyubara kugira ngo dushinge intahe nziza ku batari mw’ishengero batwihweza. Nimba dufise ingorane ikomeye mu mubano wacu w’ababiranye, nimuze dusenge cane, dusuzume ata buryarya imvo dukorana ibintu, twihweze Ivyanditswe twitonze twongere turondere gufashwa mu buryo bw’impwemu n’abakurambere. N’ikiruta vyose, ese twokwiyemeza guhimbara Yehova Imana muri vyose tukongera tukerekana ko dukenguruka vy’ukuri ingabirano nziza igitangaza y’umubano w’ababiranye iva kuri we.

[Utujambo tw’epfo]

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 10]

Abakirisu badaca baheba abo bubakanye igihe umubano wabo utifashe neza akenshi barahakura ivyiza

[Iciyumviro nyamukuru ku rup. 12]

Niwame wizigira Yehova wongere umuhange amaso kugira akuronse umutima rugabo

[Ifoto ku rup. 9]

Yehova arahezagira abakirisu bubatse bihatira gukomeza umubano wabo uba utifashe neza

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Ishengero rya gikirisu rirashobora kuguhoza no kugufasha mu buryo bw’impwemu