Bavyeyi namwe bana, nimuseruranire akari ku mutima mu rukundo

1, 2. Muri rusangi abavyeyi babona gute abana babo, abana na bo bakabona gute abavyeyi babo, mugabo ni ingorane iyihe rimwe na rimwe bagira?

“HAMWE womenya ko abavyeyi bawe bazopfa ejo, ni igiki wokwipfuza cane kubabwira uno musi?” Ico kibazo cabajijwe abana amajana bo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika. Aho kwibanda ku ngorane n’ukutumvikana ivyo ari vyose bari bafitaniye n’abavyeyi babo, bino bikaba bishobora kuba vyari bibahagaritse umutima, ibice nka 95 kw’ijana bavuze yuko bobwira abavyeyi babo ngo: “Mbabarira” na “Ndagukunda cane.” Vyakuwe mu gitabu kimwe (For Parents Only) c’uwitwa Shaunti Feldhahn na Lisa Rice.

² Muri rusangi, abana barakunda abavyeyi babo, n’abavyeyi bagakunda abana babo. Ivyo ni ko biri canecane mu ngo z’abakirisu. Naho abavyeyi n’abana bipfuza gushikirana, usanga bitama vyoroshe ko baseruranira akari ku mutima. N’igihe nyene biba bishoboka ko bayaga badahishanya, ni kubera iki none hari ibintu birinda rwose kuyaga? Ni ibintu bimwebimwe ibihe bibabuza guseruranira neza akari ku mutima? Bobitsinda gute?

‘NIMWICUNGURIRE’ UMWANYA WO GUSERURANIRA AKARI KU MUTIMA

3. (a) Ni kubera iki imiryango myinshi biyigora guseruranira neza akari ku mutima? (b) Ni kubera iki imiryango yo muri Isirayeli ya kera bitayigora kumarana umwanya?

³ Imiryango myinshi birayigora kuronka umwanya ukwiye wo guseruranira akari ku mutima mu buryo buri n’ico buvuze. Ivyo si ko vyamye. Musa yategetse ba sebibondo b’Abisirayeli ati: “Uze [ushimangire amajambo y’Imana] mu mwana wawe wongere uyage ivyayo igihe wicaye mu nzu yawe, n’igihe ugenda ku nzira, n’igihe uryamye, n’igihe uvyutse.” (Gus. 6:6, 7) Wasanga abana bamara umusi wose bari kumwe na nyina wabo i muhira canke bakawumara bari kumwe na se wabo mu mirima kibure aho akorera. Abana n’abavyeyi bari bafise umwanya mwinshi wo kuba bari kumwe no kuyaga. Ku bw’ivyo, abavyeyi barashobora kumenya ivyo abana babo bakeneye, ivyo bipfuza be n’ukuntu bameze. Abana na bo nyene bari bafise umwanya n’akaryo gahagije vyo kumenya neza abavyeyi babo.

4. Ni kubera iki guseruranira akari ku mutima usanga ari ingorane mu ngo nyinshi muri iki gihe?

⁴ Ese ukuntu ubuzima bwo muri iki gihe butandukanye n’ubwo muri Isirayeli ya kera! Mu bihugu bimwebimwe, abana batangura ishure bakiri bato cane, rimwe na rimwe bafise imyaka ibiri gusa. Ba sebibondo na ba inabibondo benshi usanga bakorera kure y’i muhira. Mu mwanya muto abavyeyi n’abana baba bari kumwe, usanga bidashoboka ko baseruranira akari ku mutima kubera orodinateri, televiziyo n’ibindi vyuma vy’ubuhinga bwa none. Akenshi, abavyeyi n’abana babana batabana; umenga ntibazinanyi. Kuyaga mu buryo buri n’ico buvuze vyoshobora gusa n’ibitabaho.

5, 6. Abavyeyi bamwebamwe ‘bicungurira gute’ umwanya wiyongereye wo kumarana n’abana babo?

⁵ Woba ushobora ‘kwicungurira’ umwanya uwukuye ku bindi bintu kugira ngo mwinshi muri wo uwumare uri kumwe n’umuryango wawe? (Soma Abanyefeso 5:15, 16.) Imiryango imwimwe iremera kugabanya ivyo kuraba televiziyo canke gukoresha orodinateri. Iyindi irihatira gufungurira hamwe n’imiburiburi rimwe ku musi. Vyongeye, ese ukuntu ya ntunganyo y’ugusenga kwo mu muryango ituma abavyeyi n’abana baronka akaryo ko kwiyegerezanya no kuganira ivy’impwemu batekanye! Gutegekanya isaha imwe canke irenga mu ndwi ku bw’iyo ntumbero ni intango nziza, mugabo harakenewe n’ibindi kugira ngo bishoboke ko haba ibiyago bigera kure. Ku bw’ivyo, mutegerezwa kwama museruranira akari ku mutima. Imbere y’uko umwana wawe aja kw’ishure, numubwire ikintu kiremesha, mwihweze icanditswe c’umusi canke uture isengesho uri kumwe na we. Kubigenza gutyo birashobora kumufasha cane kuri uwo musi.

⁶ Abavyeyi bamwebamwe barashoboye kugira ivyo bahinduye mu buzima bwabo kugira ngo barushirize kumarana umwanya n’abana babo. Nk’akarorero, Laura,a akaba ari inabibondo afise abana babiri batoyi, yarahevye akazi yakora imisi yose ku bw’iyo mvo. Avuga ati: “Mu gitondo twese wasanga turiko turihutira kuja ku kazi canke kw’ishure. Igihe naba ntashe mw’ijoro, nasanga abana banje bamaze gusinzira, baryamitswe n’umuyaya. Kuba narahevye akazi vyatumye tubwirizwa gutungwa n’amahera makeya, mugabo mbona yuko ubu nguma nzi ivyiyumviro vy’abana banje n’ingorane bafise. Ndumviriza ivyo bavuga mw’isengesho kandi ngashobora kubayobora, kubaremesha no kubigisha.”

‘NIMUTEBUKE KWUMVA’

7. Ni igiki abana n’abavyeyi bakunda kwidogera?

⁷ Abanditsi ba ca gitabu (For Parents Only) aho bamariye kubaza ibibazo abakiri bato benshi, barabonye ikindi kintu gituma hataba uguseruranira akari ku mutima. Bavuga bati: “Ikintu ca mbere benshi muri abo bana bidogeye abavyeyi babo cari ic’uko ‘batabumviriza.’ ” Abavyeyi si bo bonyene bafise iyo ngorane. Na bo nyene barakunda kwidogera abana babo kuri ico kintu. Kugira ngo bigume bishoboka ko abagize imiryango baseruranira akari ku mutima, bategerezwa kwumvirizanya vy’ukuri.—Soma Yakobo 1:19.

8. Abavyeyi boshobora gute kwumviriza vy’ukuri abana babo?

⁸ Bavyeyi, mwoba vy’ukuri mwumviriza abana banyu? Ivyo vyoshobora kubagora igihe murushe canke igihe ico kiyago gisa n’aho ata co kivuze. Mugabo ibisa n’aho ata co bivuze kuri mwebwe vyoshobora kuba bihambaye cane ku mwana wanyu. ‘Gutebuka kwumva’ ntibisobanura gusa kwitwararika ivyo umwana wanyu avuga mugabo kandi bisobanura kwitwararika ukuntu abivuga. Ijwi be n’ibimenyetso vy’umubiri umwana wanyu akoresha biratuma mumenya ukuntu yiyumva. Kubaza ibibazo na vyo nyene birahambaye. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Ivyiyumviro vy’umuntu ni nk’amazi ari mw’iriba rirerire, mugabo umuntu ari n’ugutahura kwimbitse arashobora kubivoma.” (Imig. 20:5, Today’s English Version) Ugutahura kwimbitse be n’ugutegera birakenewe canecane igihe muriko murarondera gutuma umwana wanyu aserura iryo agona ku bijanye n’ibibazo vy’inkoramutima.

9. Ni kubera iki abana bakwiye kwumviriza abavyeyi babo?

⁹ Bana, mwoba mugamburukira abavyeyi banyu? Ijambo ry’Imana rigira riti: “Umviriza mwananje, indero ya so wawe, kandi ntuhebe itegeko rya nyoko wawe.” (Imig. 1:8) Muribuka yuko abavyeyi banyu babakunda be n’uko babipfuriza ineza, akaba ari co gituma vyoba vyiza mubumvirije mukongera mukabagamburukira. (Ef. 6:1) Birarushiriza kuborohera kugamburuka igihe museruranira neza akari ku mutima n’abavyeyi banyu be n’igihe muzi ko babakunda. Nimubwire abavyeyi banyu ukuntu mubona ibintu. Ivyo bizofasha abo bavyeyi kubatahura. Ariko rero, na mwebwe murakwiye kugerageza kubatahura.

10. Ni igiki twigira kuri ya nkuru yo muri Bibiliya yerekeye Rehobowamu?

¹⁰ Ku bijanye no kwumviriza impanuro uhabwa n’abakiri bato bo mu runganwe rwawe, urakeneye kuba maso. Boshobora kukubwira ivyo wipfuza kwumva, mugabo impanuro zabo zoshobora kutagufasha na gato. Nkako, zirashobora mbere kukugirira nabi. Kubera ko batagira ubukerebutsi nk’ubw’ababakurira bakaba kandi badaciye uruma nka bo, abakiri bato benshi usanga ukuntu babona ibintu kuguma guhindagurika kandi boshobora kutabona inkurikizi z’ibintu bimwebimwe bakora. Niwibuke akarorero ka Rehobowamu umuhungu w’Umwami Salomo. Igihe yaba umwami wa Isirayeli, vyari kumubera vyiza akurikije impanuro z’abagabo b’inararibonye. Aho kubigenza gutyo, yakurikije impanuro ziranga ubupfu z’abasore bari barakuranye. Ivyo vyatumye abanyagihugu benshi bareka gushigikira ubwami bwiwe. (1 Abm. 12:1-17) Aho kwigana iyo ngendo itaranga ubukerebutsi ya Rehobowamu, niwihatire kuguma useruranira akari ku mutima n’abavyeyi bawe. Nubabwire ivyo wiyumvira. Niwungukire ku mpanuro zabo, kandi ugire ico wigiye ku bukerebutsi bwabo.—Imig. 13:20.

11. Vyogenda gute mu gihe abavyeyi batoba ari abantu begereka?

¹¹ Bavyeyi, nimba mwipfuza ko abana banyu bataronderera impanuro ku runganwe rwabo, nimube abantu begereka kandi boroshe kuyagira. Mushiki wacu umwe w’umuyabaga yanditse ati: “Mpfa kuvuga gusa izina ry’umuhungu abavyeyi banje bagaca bahagarika umutima. Ivyo bituma mpagarika umutima maze ngatinya kubandanya kubayagira.” Uwundi mushiki wacu akiri muto yanditse ati: “Abakiri bato benshi baripfuza impanuro z’abavyeyi babo, mugabo mu gihe abavyeyi babo batabifatana uburemere, abo bana baritura uwundi muntu abifatana uburemere, bakitura mbere n’abatazi utuntu n’utundi.” Nimwagira umutima ukunze wo kwumviriza abana banyu mubigiranye ikibabarwe ku kintu cose babayagira, birashoboka ko muzosanga babaserurira akari ku mutima kandi bakakira neza ubuyobozi mubaha.

‘NIMUTEBE KUVUGA’

12. Ukuntu abavyeyi bavyifatamwo kwoshobora gute gutuma badaseruranira akari ku mutima n’abana babo?

¹² Iyindi ntambamyi y’uguseruranira akari ku mutima, ivyuka igihe abavyeyi bashavujwe n’ivyo abana bababwiye. Birumvikana ko abavyeyi bakirisu bipfuza gukingira abana babo. Iyi “misi ya nyuma” yuzuyemwo ingeramizi, zaba izo mu buryo bw’impwemu canke izo mu bundi buryo. (2 Tim. 3:1-5) Ariko rero, ivyo abavyeyi babona ko bikingira abana babo, bano boshobora kubona ko ari ukurenza urugero.

13. Ni kubera iki abavyeyi bakwiye kwirinda kwihutira guserura ukuntu babona ibintu?

¹³ Vyoba vyiza abavyeyi batihutiye guserura ukuntu babona ibintu. Ego ni ko, ntivyama vyoroshe kunuma igihe abana banyu bababwiye ikintu gituma muhagarika umutima. Mugabo birahambaye ko mwumviriza mwitonze imbere y’uko mugira ico muvuze. Wa Mwami w’inkerebutsi Salomo yanditse ati: “Iyo umuntu yishuye ku kintu ataracumva, ivyo bimubera ubupfu n’agateterwe.” (Imig. 18:13) Nimwaguma mutekanye, muzokwumva vyinshi kandi abana banyu bazobandanya kubayagira. Mutegerezwa kubanza kumenya inkuru y’imvaho kugira ngo mushobore kubafasha. Uguhagarika umutima kwoshobora gutuma ‘muhoromboka.’ (Yobu 6:1-3) Kubera ko muri abavyeyi banyarukundo, nimukoreshe amatwi yanyu kugira ngo mutahure, n’ururimi rwanyu kugira ngo muvure.

14. Ni kubera iki abana bakwiye guteba kuvuga?

¹⁴ Bana, na mwebwe nyene murakeneye ‘guteba kuvuga,’ ntimuce mwiyamiriza ivyo abavyeyi bavuze, kuko bafise ibanga bahawe n’Imana ryo kubarera. (Imig. 22:6) Boshobora kuba barashikiwe n’ibintu bisa n’ibiriko birabashikira ubu. Vyongeye, baricuza ku makosa bakoze igihe bari bakiri bato bakaba rero bipfuza cane kubakingira ngo ntimukore amakosa nk’ayo. Ku bw’ivyo, abavyeyi banyu nimubabone nk’abo musangiye urugamba, aho kubabona nk’abansi; mubabone nk’ababahanura, aho kubabona nk’ababarwanya. (Soma Imigani 1:5.) ‘Nimutere iteka ba so na ba nyoko,’ mwongere mubereke ko mubakunda nk’uko babakunda. Ivyo bizotuma birushiriza kuborohera “kubarera mu kubatoza indero no mu kuyobora ivyiyumviro vya[nyu] nk’uko Yehova yashinze.”—Ef. 6:2, 4.

‘NIMUTEBE KURAKA’

15. Ni igiki kizodufasha kudatakaza ukwihangana ngo dushavurire abo dukunda?

¹⁵ Ntitwama twihanganira abo dukunda. Intumwa Paulo yandikiye “aberanda [ba]kaba n’abavukanyi b’abizigirwa bunze ubumwe na Kristu i Kolosayi,” ati: “Yemwe bagabo, mugume mukunda abagore banyu kandi ntimubagirire ishavu ry’umururazi. Yemwe ba se, ntimuratse abana banyu, kugira ngo ntibavunike umutima.” (Kol. 1:1, 2; 3:19, 21) Paulo yahimirije Abanyefeso ati: “Umururazi ubabaza wose, n’ishavu, n’uburake, n’ugukankama, n’ugutukana, bikurwe muri mwebwe.” (Ef. 4:31) Gutsimbataza ukwiyumanganya, ubwitonzi n’ukwigumya, ivyo bikaba ari bimwe mu bigize icamwa c’impwemu y’Imana, bizodufasha kuguma dutekanye n’igihe nyene turi mu bintu bitesha umutwe.—Gal. 5:22, 23.

16. Yezu yakosoye gute abigishwa biwe, kandi ni kubera iki ico cari ikintu kidasanzwe?

¹⁶ Rimbura akarorero ka Yezu. Iyumvire amaganya akomeye yari afise mu gihe c’imfungurwa zo ku mugoroba za nyuma yafunguye ari kumwe n’intumwa ziwe. Yezu yari azi ko mu masaha makeyi yopfuye atuntuye cane. Ukwezwa kw’izina rya se wiwe be n’ubukiriro bw’abantu vyari bihagaze ku bwizigirwa bwiwe. Yamara, muri ico gihe nyene c’izo mfungurwa, “[haravyutse] ibihari bikomeye hagati [y’intumwa] vyo kumenya uwoba yasa na mukuru muri bo.” Yezu ntiyabakankamiye canke ngo abashavurire. Ahubwo, yarabafashije kuzirikana atekanye. Yezu yarabibukije ko bari barumiye kuri we mu bihe bitoroshe. Naho Shetani yariko arasaba ngo abagosore nk’ingano, Yezu yavuze ko yizigiye yuko bogumye ari abizigirwa. Mbere yaragiraniye na bo isezerano.—Luka 22:24-32.

17. Ni igiki kizofasha abana kuguma batekanye?

¹⁷ Abana na bo nyene barakeneye kuguma batekanye. Canecane igihe bashitse mu myaka y’ubuyabaga, boshobora kubona ko ubuyobozi abavyeyi babo babaha bwerekana ko batabizigira. Naho rimwe na rimwe vyoshobora kuba ari ukwo biri, numenye ko kuba abavyeyi bawe bahagaritse umutima vyerekana ko bagukunda. Niwabumviriza utekanye kandi ugasenyera ku mugozi umwe na bo, uzotuma bakwubaha wongere utume babona ko uri umuntu yitaho ibintu. Iyo nyifato yoshobora gutuma urushiriza kuronka umwidegemvyo mu mice imwimwe y’ubuzima. Kwigumya ni ingendo iranga ubukerebutsi. Umugani umwe uranga ubukerebutsi ugira uti: “Ikijuju kirekura umutima waco wose, mugabo umuntu w’inkerebutsi atuma uguma utekanye gushika kw’iherezo.”—Imig. 29:11.

18. Urukundo rutuma gute haba uguseruranira neza akari ku mutima?

¹⁸ Bavyeyi namwe bana twikundira, ntimucike intege rero nimba mu muryango wanyu mudaseruranira akari ku mutima nk’uko muvyipfuza. Nimugume mwihatira kubigira kandi mubandanye kugendera mu kuri. (3 Yoh. 4) Mw’isi nshasha, abantu batagira agasembwa bazoshobora guseruranira akari ku mutima ata gahaze, ata n’umwe atahura uwundi nabi canke arwanya ivyo avuze. Ariko rero ubu, twese turakora ibintu mu nyuma tukicuza. Ku bw’ivyo, ntimugonanwe gusaba imbabazi. Nimubabarirane ata gahigihigi. Nimube “abafatanirijwe hamwe bakanywana neza mu rukundo.” (Kol. 2:2) Urukundo rurafise ububasha. ‘Urukundo ruriyumanganya kandi rugira ubuntu. Ntirukaza ishavu. Ntiruza ruraharura ikibi rukorewe. Rurenzako muri vyose, rwemera vyose, rwizigira vyose, rwihanganira vyose.’ (1 Kor. 13:4-7) Nimugume mutsimbataza urukundo, maze uguseruranira akari ku mutima kuzosagamba, gutume umuryango wanyu ugira umunezero, Yehova na we ashemezwe.