Ivyotuma mu rugo haba agahimbare
Ingene wokwigisha abana kuba abantu bitwararika ibintu
Georgea avuga ati: “Imisi yose ku mugoroba ni ko vyama vyagenze. Agahungu kanje k’imyaka ine kitwa Michael kasiga kandagaje ibikinisho vyako mu nzu hose. Naragira uko nshoboye kugira ngo gatunganye aho hantu imbere y’uko ndakajane kuryama. Ariko Michael yaca ashangashirwa, akavuza induru, agasara. Rimwe na rimwe vyarantera ishavu gushika n’aho ndamukankamira, ariko nta kindi vyavamwo atari uko twempi twaca twumva tumerewe nabi. Nipfuza ko twoja kuryama tunezerewe. Naca ndamureka maze akaba ari je negeranya ivyo yaba yandagaje.”
Emily avuga ati: “Ingorane yatanguye igihe umukobwa wanje w’imyaka 13 yitwa Jenny vyamugora gutahura ivyo umwigisha wiwe yamusaba gukora ku bijanye n’igikorwa co kw’ishure yari yahawe. Igihe Jenny yataha avuye kw’ishure, yamaze isaha yose ariko ararira. Naramuremesheje ngo arondere imfashanyo kw’ishure, mugabo Jenny yaciye avuga ashimitse yuko umwigisha wiwe ameze nabi, akaba ari co gituma atubahutse kugira ico amubajije. Naciye numva nokwishikira kw’ishure ngahambarira uwo mwigisha. Numva yuko ata muntu n’umwe afise uburenganzira bwo kunshavuriza umwana!”
VYOBA bishika ukumva umerewe nka George na Emily? Nk’ukwo kw’abo bavyeyi, benshi usanga bibababaza kuraba ka burorerezi umwana ariko aranyinyana n’ingorane canke ashavuye. Kuba abavyeyi bagerageza gukingira abana babo ni ikintu gisanzwe. Mugabo rero, ivyo bintu vyavuzwe aho haruguru mu vy’ukuri vyarahaye abo bavyeyi uturyo two kwigisha abana babo icigwa c’agaciro mu bijanye no kwitwararika ibintu. Ariko ntiwumve, ivyo umwana w’imyaka 4 be n’uw’imyaka 13 bokwiga si bimwe.
Mugabo rero ico womenya ni uko utazokwama ari ho uri kugira ngo wame wakingiye umwana wawe ingorane zo mu buzima. Impera n’imperuka, umwana azosiga se na nyina maze “[yikorere] umutwaro wiwe bwite” ujanye no kwitwararika ibintu. (Abagalatiya 6:5; Itanguriro 2:24) Kugira ngo abavyeyi bafashe abana kwibako, bategerezwa kwamiza ku muzirikanyi ihangiro bafise ryo kubigisha kuba abantu bakuze bazira ubwikunzi kandi bitwararika ibintu. Ico si igikorwa coroshe!
Igishimishije ni uko abavyeyi bafise akarorero ntangere bakura ku kuntu Yezu yabigenjeje ku bigishwa biwe. Yezu ntiyari yaravyaye. Mugabo ihangiro yari afise mu guhitamwo no mu kumenyereza abigishwa biwe ryari iry’uko bashobora kurangura igikorwa, mbere n’igihe yobaye atakiri kumwe na bo. (Matayo 28:19, 20) Ivyo Yezu yaranguye birasa n’ivyo zina muvyeyi yipfuza gushikako mu kwigisha abana biwe kuba abantu bitwararika ibintu. Rimbura imice itatu gusa y’akarorero Yezu yasigiye abavyeyi.
‘Nuhe icitegererezo’ umwana wawe
Yezu ari mu kurangiza ubuzima bwiwe, yabwiye abigishwa biwe ati: “Nabahaye icitegererezo, kugira ngo, nk’uko nabagiriye, abe ari ko mugiriranira namwe.” (Yohani 13:15) Nk’ukwo kwa Yezu, abavyeyi barakeneye gusigura ico neza na neza bisobanura kuba umuntu yitwararika ibintu bakongera bakavyerekana biciye ku karorero batanga.
Niwibaze uti: ‘Noba nkunze kuvuga neza ibijanye n’ukwitaho ivyo jewe ubwanje njejwe? Noba mvuga ukuntu ndyoherwa no gukorera abandi ntiziganya? Canke noba nkunda kwidoga nigereranya n’ababoneka ko bafise ubuzima bwiza kuruta?’
Ego ni ko, nta wutagira akanenge. Twese birashika tukumva turemerewe. Ariko rero, akarorero utanga koshobora kuba ari bwo buryo bukomeye kuruta ubundi bwose wokoresha kugira ngo ufashe abana bawe kubona akamaro be n’agaciro ko kuba umuntu yitwararika ibintu.
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Nimba bishoboka, nuze uracishamwo ujana umwana wawe ku kazi maze umwereke ivyo ukora kugira ngo utunge umuryango. Nukorere ibikorwa vyo kwitanga ahantu umwana wawe yoshobora kukwiyungako. Mu nyuma, numuyagire ingene wahimbawe no gukora ico kintu.—Ibikorwa 20:35.
Niwitege ibitegereka
Yezu yaratahura yuko vyosavye igihe kugira ngo abigishwa biwe babe biteguriye kurangura uruhara be n’amabanga yari yiteze ko bashitsa. Igihe kimwe yababwiye ati: “Ndacafise ibintu vyinshi vyo kubabwira, mugabo ntimushobora kuvyihanganira ubu.” (Yohani 16:12) Yezu nta kintu na kimwe yashotse asaba abigishwa biwe gukora atabibafashijemwo. Ahubwo riho, yaramaze umwanya munini abigisha ibintu vyinshi. Igihe Yezu yabona ko bari bageze ni ho yabarungitse ngo bagende bonyene.
Muri ubwo buryo nyene, ntivyoba bitegereka abavyeyi basavye abana ngo bakore ibintu vy’abantu bakuze kandi bataragera. Naho biri ukwo, uko abana bakura, abavyeyi barakwiye kurimbura udukorwa bashoboye bobashinga. Nk’akarorero, abavyeyi barakeneye kwigisha abana babo kwitwararika isuku ryabo bwite, gukora isuku mu cumba cabo, kwubahiriza isaha no gukoresha neza amahera. Igihe umwana atanguye ishure, abavyeyi bakwiye kwitega ko uwo mwana abona ko udukorwa ahabwa kw’ishure ari ibanga rihambaye ategerezwa kwitwararika.
Abavyeyi barakeneye gukora n’ibindi uretse gushinga umwana wabo ivyo akwiye kwitwararika. Bategerezwa kandi gushigikira utwigoro uwo mwana agira arondera gushitsa ivyo yashinzwe. George, umwe sebibondo twavuga mu ntango, yahavuye atahura yuko imwe mu mpamvu zatuma Michael araka bamubwiye kubika ibikinisho vyiwe, kwari uko yabona umengo ico gikorwa ni amananiza. George avuga ati: “Aho gukankamira gusa Michael ngo atore ibikinisho vyiwe, naragerageje kumwigisha uburyo bwo gukora ico gikorwa.”
None neza na neza yakoze iki? George avuga ati: “Ubwa mbere, narashinze isaha yo gutorerako nya bikinisho buri joro. Naciye rero nza ndakorana na Michael, tuva ku ruhande rumwe rw’icumba tuja ku rundi. Ico gikorwa nakigize nk’agakino, mbere ndagihindura nk’ihiganwa kugira tuze turaraba uwurusha uwundi kunyarutsa. Bidatevye, ico gikorwa cari gisigaye ari ikintu twama dukora imbere yo kuja kuryama. Naremereye Michael yuko anyarukije nomusomeye inkuru imbere yo kuryama ngaca ndamwongera n’iyindi; mugabo akoze yikwega, nociye ngabanya umwanya wo kumusomera inkuru.”
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Nurabe ikintu gitegereka woshobora kwitega ko umwe wese mu bana bawe akora cogira ico giterereye ngo ivyo mu rugo rwanyu bigende neza. Niwibaze uti: ‘Hoba hariho ibintu ngikorera abana banje boshobora kwikorera ubwabo?’ Nimba biriho, nukorane n’abana bawe gushika ubonye neza ko ico gikorwa bashoboye kucikorera. Nubatomorere yuko hazoba ingaruka nziza canke mbi bivanye n’ingene bakoze ivyo bashinzwe. Nuce rero ureka bashikirwe n’izo ngaruka canke ubahe impera.
Nubaronse ubuyobozi butomoye
Cokimwe n’umwigisha mwiza uwo ari we wese, Yezu yari azi yuko uburyo nyabwo bwo kwiga ikintu ari ukugikora. Nk’akarorero, igihe Yezu yabona yuko igihe kigeze, yaciye arungika abigishwa biwe “babiribabiri ngo bamwitangire imbere baje mu gisagara cose n’ahantu hose we ubwiwe yagira ashike.” (Luka 10:1) Yamara rero, ntiyapfuye kubarungika ngo bakore uko bavyumva. Imbere y’uko abarungika, yarabahaye ubuyobozi butomoye. (Luka 10:2-12) Igihe abo bigishwa bagaruka bakabwira Yezu ingene baroraniwe, yarabakeje yongera arabaremesha. (Luka 10:17-24) Yaraberetse ko abizigiye kandi abashima.
Igihe abana bawe bafise ibintu bitoroshe basabwa kwitwararika, uvyifatamwo gute? Woba uca urondera gukingira abana bawe ibintu bibateye ubwoba, ukarondera kubakingira ngo ntibavunike umutima canke ngo bananirwe? Ikintu ca mbere wosanga uciye ukora ni icokwitwa ngo ni ugutabara umwana wawe canke kwikorera uwo muzigo mu kibanza ciwe.
Ariko rimbura iki kintu: Igihe cose wihutiye guca ukora icokwitwa ngo ni ugukiza abana bawe mu buryo kanaka, ni igiki uba uriko urerekana? Woba uba uriko werekana ko ubizigira be n’uko wizera ubushobozi bafise? Canke woba uba uriko urababwira ko ukibabona nk’abana ata co bishoboje bategerezwa kuguhanga amaso ku kantu kose?
Nk’akarorero, umwe Emily twavuga mu ntango yatoreye gute umuti ingorane umukobwa wiwe yarimwo? Aho kuvyisukamwo, yafashe ingingo yo kureka ngo Jenny abe ari we yivuganira n’umwigisha wiwe. Emily ari kumwe na Jenny baranditse urutonde rw’ibibazo Jenny yotwaye kw’ishure. Baciye barabira hamwe igihe yogiriye kuyaga na nya mwigisha. Baranasubiyemwo mu buryo bw’agakino ukuntu ico kiyago coshoboye kugenda. Emily avuga ati: “Jenny yarariye umutima amenyo agenda kuyaga n’umwigisha wiwe, kandi uwo mwigisha wiwe yaramukeje kuba yariyumviriye ico kintu. Jenny yarishimye cane, kandi na jewe naramwishimiye.”
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Niwandike ingorane umwana wawe arimwo. Niwandike iruhande y’iyo ngorane ivyo woshobora gukora kugira ngo ufashe umwana wawe guhangana n’iyo ngorane utiriwe urakora icokwitwa ngo ni ukumutabara. Nimusubiremwo n’umwana wawe ibintu akeneye gukora intambwe ku yindi kugira ngo atorere umuti iyo ngorane. Niwerekane ko wizigiye yuko uwo mwana azobishobora.
Nimba imisi yose ugerageza gukingira abana bawe ingorane, ku bwa ngingo woshobora gusanga uriko uratangira ubushobozi bwabo bwo guhangana n’ingorane zo mu buzima. Ahubwo nyabuna, nukomeze abana bawe mu kubigisha kwemera ivyo basabwa kwitwararika. Kubigenza gutyo izoba ari imwe mu ngabirano zirusha izindi zose agaciro ushobora kubaha.
a Si ko bitwa.
NIWIBAZE UTI . . .
Abana banje noba ndabitegako ibitegereka?
Noba ndababwira nkongera nkabereka ivyo bakeneye gukora kugira ngo baroranirwe?
Ni ryari mperuka kuremesha canke gukeza umwana wanje?