Guseruranira akari ku mutima n’abana b’imiyabaga

NIMBA ureze umwana w’umuyabaga, birashoboka ko ivyawe vyoba vyifashe nk’ivyo abo bavyeyi bavuze biri aho haruguru. Mu misi iheze, kuyaga n’umwana wawe bishobora kuba vyagenda neza cane. Ubu na ho bisa n’uko uguseruranira akari ku mutima vyahagaze. Inabibondo umwe wo mu Butaliyano yitwa Angela avuga ati: “Igihe umuhungu wanje yari akari umwana, yarakunda kuncucagira ibibazo. Ubu ni jewe mbwirizwa gutanguza ikiyago. Ntabigenjeje gutyo na ho, hoca imisi n’iyindi ata kiyago c’ingirakamaro tugiraniye.”

Nk’uko kwa Angela, ushobora kuba warabonye ko umwana wawe, uwahora akunda kuvuga, yahindutse amaze kuba umuyabaga akaba uwuguma yijiriwe kandi avuga make. Ushobora kuba ukora uko ushoboye kwose kugira muyage, mugabo akakwishura make kandi nabi. Nk’akarorero woshobora kubaza umuhungu wawe uti: “Uno musi wiriwe gute?” Agaca akwishura asa n’uwukuryagagura ngo: “Neza.” Woshobora kubaza umukobwa wawe uti: “Vyagenze gute kw’ishure uno musi?” Agaca aduza ibitugu akavuga ati: “Nta na kimwe!” Ugize ngo uragerageza kubandanya ikiyago mu kumubaza ngo “ni kubera iki utakiyaga nk’uko wahora?”, ukamenga uriko ubwira igiti.

Ariko ntiwumve, abana b’imiyabaga bamwebamwe usanga ata ngorane bagira mu bijanye no kuvuga. Yamara rero, ivyo bavuga usanga atari vyo abavyeyi babo bari biteze. Inabibondo umwe wo muri Nijeriya yitwa Edna avuga ivyo yibuka ati: “Igihe naba nsavye umukobwa wanje gukora ikintu kinaka, yakunda kunyishura ngo ‘Nunyirekere.’” Uwitwa Ramón wo muri Megizike, aravuga ikintu gisa n’ico ku vyerekeye umuhungu wiwe w’imyaka 16. Agira ati: “Twama duharira hafi imisi yose. Igihe cose ndamusavye gukora ikintu, aca atangura kurondera ivyitwazo vyo kutagikora.”

Kugerageza kuyaga n’umwana w’umuyabaga atanyinyuka birashobora kubera umuvyeyi ikigeragezo. Bibiliya ivuga ko ‘ahatagira inama imigabo ipfa.’ (Imigani 15:22) Anna, uno akaba ari umuvyeyi yireranye abana wo mu Burusiya, avuga ati: “Igihe ntaba nzi ikiri mu mutima w’umuhungu wanje, ndababara cane gushika n’aho numva umenga nokoma induru.” Ni kubera iki none mu gihe nyene guseruranira akari ku mutima biba bihambaye cane hagati y’abakiri bato n’abavyeyi babo, ari ho bica bisa n’ibicumbagira?

Nurondere kumenya ibituma uguseruranira akari ku mutima bitabandanya

Guseruranira akari ku mutima si ukuganira gusa. Yezu yavuze yuko “akanwa . . . kavuga bivanye n’ibibogaboga mu mutima.” (Luka 6:45) Ku bw’ivyo, biciye ku guseruranira neza akari ku mutima, turigira ku bandi tukongera tugahishura ibitwerekeye. Uwo muce wa nyuma ujanye n’uko umuntu aheza agahishura ibimwerekeye, urashobora kubera urugamba abana b’imiyabaga, kubera ko umwana amaze kuba umuyabaga, no mu gihe aba yahora akunda kuvuga, ashobora guhinduka bukwi na bukwi akaba umunyamasoni. Abahinga bavuga yuko akenshi abana b’imiyabaga bumva ko umenga abantu bose bariko bararaba ivyo bakora bongera bumviriza ivyo bavuga. Kugira ngo binyegeze amaso y’abo bibaza ko bariko barabaraba, abana b’imiyabaga bamwebamwe boshobora kugerageza kuja ukwa bonyene, aho twofata nk’icumba kitorohera abavyeyi babo kwinjiramwo.

Ikindi kintu gishobora gutuma uguseruranira akari ku mutima bitabandanya, ni uko usanga umwana w’umuyabaga arondera kwigenga. Ivyo ntawoshobora kubimurinda. Umwana wawe ariko arakura, kandi ukwo akura ni kwo arondera kuba wenyene. Ivyo ntibisobanura na gato y’uko umwana wawe w’umuyabaga yiteguriye kwimuka akava i muhira. Muri iyo myaka, aba agukeneye muri vyinshi kuruta ikindi gihe ico ari co cose. Ariko ivyo kurondera gutandukana n’umuryango bitangura hagisigaye imyaka itari mike ngo abe umuntu akuze. Muri iyo myaka baba bariko barakura, usanga abana benshi b’imiyabaga bashima kwiyumvira ibintu bari ukwa bonyene imbere yuko bamenyesha abandi ivyiyumviro vyabo.

Ariko ntiwumve, abana b’imiyabaga boshobora kutabigenza gutyo bari kumwe n’urunganwe rwabo. Ivyo inabibondo umwe yitwa Jessica wo muri Megizike yaravyiboneye. Avuga ati: “Igihe umukobwa wanje yari akiri muto, yama aza kuntura ingorane ziwe. Ubu aja kuzitura abagenzi biwe.” Nimba ari uko vyifashe ku mwana wawe w’umuyabaga, ntuce ushika ku ciyumviro c’uko wewe umuvyeyi yagushiburiye kure. Igihushanye n’ivyo, amatohoza yerekana y’uko no mu gihe abana b’imiyabaga boba batemera impanuro z’abavyeyi babo, ni zo baha agaciro kuruta izo bahabwa n’abagenzi babo. Ariko none, woshobora gute kwiyemeza neza ko uguseruranira akari ku mutima kukibandanya?

Ibintu nyamukuru vyogufasha gukuraho intambamyi

Dufate ko uriko uratwara umuduga uri mw’ibarabara rirerire kandi rigororotse. Wagiye ibirometero n’ibirometero, mugabo nta vyinshi wakoze kw’idirigisiyo y’umuduga wawe. Bukwi na bukwi, ugiye ubona ikorosi ridasanzwe muri iryo barabara. Kugira umuduga wawe ugume mw’ibarabara, nta kundi wobigenza atari guca ukatisha idirigisiyo. Ukwo ni ko bimeze igihe umwana wawe ageze mu myaka y’ubuyabaga. Mu myaka itari mike iheze vyasavye ko kumbure ata vyinshi uhindura ku kuntu wahora urera. Ariko rero, ubu umwana wawe ageze aho twokwita ko ari mw’ikorosi ridasanzwe, ukaba utegerezwa kumukatisha nka kurya umuntu akatisha umuduga mw’ikorosi, ukabigira mu kugira ivyo uhinduye ku buryo wari usanzwe ukoresha mu kumurera. Niwibaze ibibazo bikurikira.

‘Igihe umuhungu wanje canke umukobwa wanje aba yiteguriye guserura akari ku mutima, noba nanje mba ndavyiteguriye?’ Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Ijambo rivuzwe [“ku gihe kibereye,” NW] ni nk’amacungwa y’izahabu ari mu tujishano tw’ifeza.” (Imigani 25:11) Nk’uko ico canditswe kivyerekana mu buryo butomoye, kumenya igihe kibereye co kuyaga usanga akenshi ari ikintu gihambaye. Tubitangire akarorero: Umurimyi ntashobora kwihutisha igihe c’iyimbura canke ngo acigize inyuma. Ategerezwa gukora ivyo ashoboye vyose kugira yimbure iyimbura rigeze. Hashobora kuba hari igihe kinaka umwana wawe w’umuyabaga aba ashaka cane kukuyagira. Ntugishe ako karyo. Inabibondo umwe yireranye abana wo muri Ositaraliya yitwa Frances avuga ati: “Akenshi umukobwa wanje yarashobora kuza mw’ijoro mu cumba ndaramwo, rimwe na rimwe akahamara isaha. Sinkunda kuryama ntevye, akaba ari co gituma bitari vyoroshe, mugabo muri ayo masaha yitereye yo mw’ijoro, twarayaga vyose.”

‘Noba ntahura neza ivyihishije inyuma y’ivyo avuga?’ Muri Yobu 12:11 hagira hati: “Mbeg’ugutwi si kwo gutondanuza amajambo, nk’ukw akanwa kumviriza ivyo kurya?” Ubu kuruta ikindi gihe ico ari co cose, urakeneye “gutondanuza,” mu yindi mvugo kwumviriza ivyo umukobwa wawe canke umuhungu wawe avuga. Akenshi abana b’imiyabaga babona ko bavuga vyo. Nk’akarorero, umuhungu wawe canke umukobwa wawe yoshobora kuvuga ati: “Wama umfata nk’umwana!”, canke ati: “Ntiwigera unyumviriza!” Aho guca ufata ayo majambo “wama” na “ntiwigera” nk’uko nyene ari, nutahure ko uwo mwana wawe ashobora kuba atari ivyo ashaka kuvuga. Nk’akarorero, avuze ngo “Wama umfata nk’umwana,” ashobora kuba agomba kuvuga ngo “Nibaza ko utanyizigira.” Canke akavuga ngo “Ntiwigera unyumviriza,” mugabo ashaka kuvuga ngo “Nipfuza kukubwira ukuntu niyumva vy’ukuri.” Nugerageze gutahura neza ivyihishije inyuma y’ayo majambo.

‘Noba mbuza umwana wanje w’umuyabaga ntanabizi kunserurira akari ku mutima mu kugerageza kumuhata ngo avuge vyanse bikunze?’ Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Urubuto rw’icamwa c’ubugororotsi rubibwa mu mahoro ku bariko baremesha amahoro.” (Yakobo 3:18) Biciye ku vyo uvuga be no ku kuntu wifata, nutume haba “amahoro” kugira ngo umwana wawe w’umuyabaga yumve ko ashaka ku kuyagira. Niwibuke ko ari wewe ushigikiye umwana wawe. Ku bw’ivyo, igihe muganira na we ku kintu kinaka, ntugerageze kumuvugisha nk’aho umenga uri umucamanza ariko aramwagiriza. Sebibondo umwe wo muri Koreya yitwa Ahn avuga ati: “Umuvyeyi w’inkerebutsi aririnda kubwira umwana amajambo nk’aya ngo ‘None wewe uzokura ryari?’ canke ngo ‘Wewe ntiwumva?’ Maze gukora amakosa atari make muri uwo muce, nahavuye mbona ko abahungu banje batashavuzwa gusa n’ukuntu nabavugisha ariko kandi ko bashavuzwa n’ivyo navuga.”

Guseruranira akari ku mutima n’abana b’imiyabaga si ikintu kidashoboka. Nuhindure uburyo ukoresha mu kubarera bivanye n’ibikenewe. Nuyage n’abandi bavyeyi vyagendeye neza muri uwo muce. (Imigani 11:14) Igihe useruranira akari ku mutima n’umuhungu wawe canke n’umukobwa wawe, ‘nutebuke kwumva, utebe kuvuga, utebe kuraka.’ (Yakobo 1:19) N’ikiruta vyose, ntiwigere ureka utwigoro ugira two kurera abana bawe “mu kubatoza indero no mu kuyobora ivyiyumviro vyabo nk’uko Yehova yashinze.”​—Abanyefeso 6:4.