Uko watoza abana bawe umuco wo kwifata

AHO IKIBAZO KIRI

Umwana wawe w’imyaka itandatu ntiyiha akabanga. Iyo yifuje ikintu, yumva ko agomba kugihabwa ako kanya. Iyo yarakaye arisaza. Ugera aho ukibaza uti “ese uyu mwana ni muzima, cyangwa? Ese abiterwa n’imyaka agezemo, cyangwa ageze igihe cyo gutozwa umuco wo kwifata?”

ICYO WAGOMBYE KUMENYA

Abantu b’iki gihe ntibagiha agaciro ibyo kwifata. Dogiteri David Walsh yaravuze ati “muri iki gihe, abantu bose baba abakuru n’abato, bagirwa inama y’uko bagomba gukora ibyo bishakiye. Izo nama zitangwa n’abantu batandukanye, baba abashaka kuturya imitsi cyangwa abatwifuriza ibyiza. Abo bose buri gihe baba badushishikariza gukora ibyo twishakiye.”a

Igiti kigororwa kikiri gito. Hari ubushakashatsi bwakozwe ku bana b’imyaka ine, maze buri wese ahabwa bombo imwe. Babwiwe ko bashobora guhita bayirya, ariko ko nihagira uwifata akihangana akanya gato ntayirye, ari buhabwe indi. Abo bana bamaze kurangiza amashuri yisumbuye, byaragaragaye ko abashoboye kwifata bagifite imyaka ine, ari bo bari bafite imico myiza, babana neza n’abandi kandi ni bo bagiraga amanota meza.

Iyo abana badatojwe kwifata bibagiraho ingaruka. Hari ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko ibiba ku mwana bigira ingaruka ku bwenge bwe. Dogiteri Dan Kindlon yabisobanuye agira ati “iyo dutetesheje abana bacu bibagiraho ingaruka. Tugomba kubatoza kwifata kugeza igihe baherewe ibyo bifuza no kudashaka kubona inyungu z’ako kanya kandi tukabatoza kurwanya ibishuko. Iyo tutabigenje dutyo, bishobora kugira ingaruka ku bwenge bwabo bigatuma badacika ku ngeso mbi.”b

ICYO WAKORA

Jya ubaha urugero rwiza. Ese wowe ubwawe ugaragaza ko uzi kwifata? Ese abana bawe bajya bakubona utongana mu gihe imodoka zabaye nyinshi mu muhanda, uca ku bandi igihe bari ku murongo, cyangwa uca abandi mu ijambo? Kindlon yaravuze ati “ubundi, uburyo bwiza bwo kwigisha abana kumenya kwifata, ni ukubaha urugero rwiza.”​—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abaroma 12:9.

Jya wereka umwana ingaruka zo kutamenya kwifata. Ukurikije ikigero umwana wawe agezemo, ujye umwereka ibyiza byo kwifata n’ingaruka zo kunanirwa kwifata. Urugero, niba undi mwana amugiriye nabi akarakara, ujye umufasha gufata akanya atekereze, yibaze ati “ese ninihorera hari icyo biri bumarire, cyangwa biratuma ibintu birushaho kuzamba?” Nanone ushobora kumubwira ikindi yakora kugira ngo acururuke, urugero nko kubara akageza ku icumi cyangwa akareba ahandi hantu ajya.​—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abagalatiya 6:7.

Jya umushimira. Mu gihe agaragaje ko ashoboye kwifata, jya umushimira. Mubwire ko nubwo hari igihe kwifata biba bitoroshye, kubigeraho bigaragaza ubutwari. Bibiliya igira iti “umuntu utagira rutangira mu mutima we ameze nk’umugi waciwemo ibyuho, utagira inkuta” (Imigani 25:28). Nanone igira iti “utinda kurakara aruta umunyambaraga.”​—Imigani 16:32.

Mujye mwitoza. Mujye mutekereza ibintu bishobora kubaho, musuzume n’uko mwabyitwaramo. Mujye mubazanya ibibazo, urugero nk’ikigira kiti “ari wowe wabigenza ute?” Nanone mushobora gukina imikino igaragaza abahisemo neza n’abahisemo nabi cyangwa indi nk’iyo. Mushobora no gukoresha ibikinisho, ibishushanyo cyangwa ubundi buryo. Ibyo bizafasha umwana kwibonera ko kumenya kwifata ari byo byiza kuruta guhubuka agakora ibibi.​—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Imigani 29:11.

Jya wihangana. Bibiliya igira iti “ubupfapfa buhambiriwe ku mutima w’umwana” (Imigani 22:15). Ubwo rero, ntukitege ko umwana wawe azahita amenya kwifata. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “kugira ngo abigereho bisaba igihe, kandi biza buhoro buhoro. Rimwe na rimwe arabishobora ubundi bikamunanira.” (Teach Your Children Well.) Icyakora ntuzaba uruhira ubusa. Icyo gitabo gikomeza kigira kiti “umwana ushoboye kwifata ari mu kigero cy’imyaka 12 bimurinda ibiyobyabwenge, naho uri mu kigero cy’imyaka 14 bikamurinda ubusambanyi.