Imiryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe ishobora kugira icyo igeraho

1-3. Ni iki cyatumye imiryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe irushaho kugenda yiyongera, kandi abagize iyo miryango bibagiraho izihe ngaruka?

MURI Amerika, imiryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe irarushaho kugenda yiyongera cyane. No mu bindi bihugu byinshi ni uko bimeze. Kuba abantu benshi bashakanye muri iki gihe bakunda gutana, abandi bagata abo bashakanye, abandi bo bakahukana ndetse n’abandi benshi bakabyara ibinyandaro, bigira ingaruka zikomeye ku babyeyi n’abana babarirwa muri za miriyoni.

² Umugore urera abana be wenyine yaravuze ati “ndi umupfakazi w’imyaka 28, mfite abana babiri. Numva nihebye kuko ntifuza kurera abana banjye ntari kumwe na se. Bisa n’aho ari nta muntu n’umwe unyitaho. Abana banjye bakunda kumbona ndira kandi birabababaza.” Uretse ibyiyumvo ababyeyi barera abana bonyine baba bahanganye na byo byo kumva barakaye, bicira urubanza kandi bafite irungu, abenshi muri bo baba bagomba no guhangana n’ikibazo kitoroshye cyo gukora akazi hanze ari na ko imirimo yo mu rugo na yo ibategereje. Umwe muri abo babyeyi yaravuze ati “kurera abana wenyine ntibyoroha na busa. Ugira utya ugashyiraho imihati ukuzuza inshingano zawe, ariko wagira ngo ubigezeho hakaba hiyongereyeho izindi!”

³ Abana barererwa mu miryango nk’iyo igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe na bo bagira ibibazo byihariye barwana na byo. Iyo umwe mu babyeyi agize atya akabata cyangwa se agapfa, abana basigarana agahinda kenshi. Kuba abakiri bato benshi batari kumwe n’umwe mu babyeyi bibagiraho ingaruka mbi cyane.

4. Ni iki kitwemeza ko Yehova yita ku miryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe?

⁴ Imiryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe yahozeho kuva na kera mu bihe bya Bibiliya. Ni kenshi usanga mu Byanditswe havugwa “impfubyi” n’“umupfakazi” (Kuva 22:21; Gutegeka 24:19-21; Yobu 31:16-22). Yehova Imana ntiyajyaga yirengagiza akababaro kabo. Umwanditsi wa Zaburi yise Imana “se w’impfubyi n’umucamanza urengera abapfakazi” (Zaburi 68:6). Uko ni na ko Yehova yita ku miryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe muri iki gihe. N’ikimenyimenyi, mu Ijambo rye harimo amahame ashobora gufasha iyo miryango kugira icyo igeraho.

IMIRIMO YO MU RUGO

5. Imiryango isigayemo umubyeyi umwe ibanza guhangana n’ibihe bibazo?

⁵ Reka turebe ku birebana n’imirimo yo mu rugo. Umubyeyi umwe watanye n’uwo bashakanye yaravuze ati “hari kenshi wifuza uti ‘iyo umugabo wanjye aza kuba agihari,’ wenda nk’iyo inzu iri hafi kukugwira kandi utazi aho wahera uyisana.” Abagabo na bo bamaze igihe gito batandukanye n’abagore babo cyangwa bapfakaye bumva batazi aho bahera bakora imirimo yo mu rugo myinshi iba ibategereje. Ku bana, ako kajagari kaba kari mu rugo gatuma barushaho kumva nta ho bari kandi nta n’umutekano bafite.

6, 7. (a) Ni uruhe rugero rwiza rwatanzwe n’ “umugore w’imico myiza” uvugwa mu Migani? (b) Ni mu buhe buryo kugira umwete mu mirimo yo mu rugo bifasha ingo z’ababyeyi barera abana bonyine?

⁶ Ni iki se gishobora kubafasha? Reka turebe urugero rwatanzwe n’“umugore w’imico myiza” uvugwa mu Migani 31:10-31. Iyo mirongo igaragaza ko yagiraga imirimo myinshi ivuga ko yaguraga, akagurisha, akaboha, agateka, akareba imirima myiza akayigura, agahinga kandi agakora n’ubucuruzi. Ibanga rye ryari irihe? Yari umunyamwete, akaryama atinze ari mu mirimo kandi akayitangira kare kare mu gitondo. Yagiraga kandi gahunda, agaha abandi bo mu rugo imirimo ngo bamufashe kandi agakoresha amaboko ye kugira ngo afashe abandi. Nta kuntu atari gushimwa!

⁷ Niba uri umubyeyi wita ku muryango wenyine, ujye wita ku nshingano zawe z’urugo. Ujye ukora iyo mirimo yo mu rugo ubyishimiye kuko ibyo bituma abana bawe bishima. Icyakora, guteganya ibintu mbere y’igihe no kugira gahunda ni iby’ingenzi cyane. Bibiliya igira iti “ibyo umunyamwete atekereza bizana ubukire” (Imigani 21:5). Umugabo urera abana be wenyine yaravuze ati “nibuka ko kurya bibaho ari uko nshonje.” Ariko rero, ibyokurya wateguye neza mbere y’igihe ni byo bikunze kuba birimo intungamubiri kandi binaryoshye kuruta ibyo umuntu apfuye guteka atari yabitekerejeho. Bishobora no kuba ngombwa ko wiga gukora indi mirimo. Hari abagore benshi bize gusiga amarangi, gukora iby’amazi no kwikorera utuntu tumwe na tumwe dufite ikibazo ku mamodoka yabo, binyuriye ku nama z’incuti zabo ziba zisanzwe zizi iyo mirimo cyangwa se gusoma ibitabo no kwegera abahanga muri iyo mirimo.

8. Ni mu buhe buryo abana barerwa n’umubyeyi umwe bashobora gufasha mu mirimo yo mu rugo?

⁸ Ubwo se ushobora gusaba abana ko bagufasha imirimo? Hari umugore urera abana wenyine wavuze ati “uba wumva ushaka kubatetesha kuko baba batagira se.” Ibyo birumvikana, ariko si ko buri gihe bigirira abana ingaruka nziza. Hari abana bubahaga Imana bavugwa muri Bibiliya bahabwaga imirimo yo gukora ihuje n’imyaka yabo (Itangiriro 37:2; Indirimbo 1:6). Bityo rero, n’ubwo uzirinda kuvunisha abana bawe, bizaba byiza nubasaba gukora imirimo imwe n’imwe wenda nko koza ibyombo no gusukura ibyumba byabo. Kuki se mutareba n’uturimo tumwe na tumwe mufatanya gukora? Bizabashimisha cyane.

IKIBAZO CYO KUBONA IKIBATUNGA

9. Kuki abagore barera abana ari bonyine akenshi bakunda guhura n’ibibazo by’ubukungu?

⁹ Ababyeyi benshi barera abana bonyine kubona ibyo bakeneye birabagora, byagera ku bakiri bato babyara ibinyandaro ho bigahumira ku mirari.a Mu gihe baba batuye mu gihugu kigenera abashomeri n’abatishoboye amafaranga runaka, byaba byiza bagiye bayakoresha neza kugeza igihe bazabonera akazi. Bibiliya yemerera Abakristo kwakira ayo mafaranga iyo bibaye ngombwa (Abaroma 13:1, 6). Abapfakazi n’abatanye n’abo bashakanye na bo bahura n’ibibazo nk’ibyo. Iyo bibaye ngombwa ko bashaka akazi nyuma y’imyaka myinshi baba bamaze bicaye mu rugo, incuro nyinshi babona agahemba agashahara gake. Bamwe bashaka aho bajya kwihugurira cyangwa bakagana amashuri yigisha igihe gito kugira ngo barebe ko agashahara kakwiyongera.

10. Ni gute umugore urera abana ari wenyine yasobanurira abana be ko ari ngombwa ko ashaka akazi?

¹⁰ Ntuzatangare nubona abana bawe batishimiye ko ushaka akazi, kandi ibyo ntibizagutere kumva wiciriye urubanza. Ahubwo, uzabasobanurire impamvu ugomba gushaka akazi, kandi ubafashe no kumva ko Yehova agusaba kubaha ibyo kubatunga (1 Timoteyo 5:8). Uko igihe kigenda gihita, abana benshi bagenda babyumva. Icyakora nanone, ujye ugerageza uko gahunda nyinshi ugira zibikwemerera kose umarane na bo igihe gihagije. Kubitaho gutyo ubigiranye urukundo bishobora kugabanya ingaruka ziterwa no kuba mudafite amafaranga yo kugura ibyo mukenera byose.—Imigani 15:16, 17.

NI NDE WITA KU WUNDI?

11, 12. Ni iyihe mipaka ababyeyi barera abana bonyine bagomba kwishyiriraho, kandi se ibyo babigeraho bate?

¹¹ Birasanzwe ko ababyeyi barera abana bonyine bagirana imishyikirano ya bugufi cyane n’abana babo; ariko iyo mishyikirano ntigomba kurenga imipaka Imana yashyizeho igomba kuba hagati y’ababyeyi n’abana. Urugero, hashobora kuvuka ibibazo bitoroshye niba umubyeyi w’umugore urera abana wenyine yitega ko umuhungu we asohoza inshingano z’umugabo mu rugo cyangwa se niba afata umukobwa we nk’incuti ye magara akamubwira amabanga ye yose. Ibyo nta bwo ari byo na mba kandi bitesha umwana umutwe.

¹² Izeze abana bawe ko wowe mubyeyi wabo ari wowe ugomba kubitaho, atari bo bagomba kukwitaho. (Gereranya na 2 Abakorinto 12:14). Hari ubwo uzajya ukenera inama cyangwa ubufasha. Jya ubishakira ku basaza b’Abakristo cyangwa se ku Bakristokazi bakuze mu buryo bw’umwuka, aho kubishakira ku bana bawe bakiri bato.—Tito 2:3.

KOMEZA GUHA ABANA UBURERE

13. Ni ibihe bibazo umugore urera abana wenyine ashobora guhangana na byo?

¹³ Muri rusange, iyo umubyeyi w’umugabo atanga uburere, abana bahita bamwumvira kuruta uko bumvira uw’umugore. Umugore urera abana be wenyine yaravuze ati “abahungu banjye bamaze kuba abagabo, banize n’amajwi. Hari ubwo rimwe na rimwe mbagera imbere nkumva nahutswe, nta cyo nababwira ngo banyumve.” Ushobora no kuba ucyifitiye agahinda k’urupfu rw’uwo mwari mwarashakanye mwakundanaga cyane, cyangwa ukaba ucyumva umutima ugucira urubanza cyangwa se ukinarakajwe no kuba waratanye n’uwo mwashakanye. Niba mwembi mwemerewe kurera abana, ushobora gutinya ko baba bumva bakunze kwibanira n’uwahoze ari umugabo wawe. Ibyo byose bishobora gutuma gushyira mu gaciro mu birebana no gutanga uburere bitoroha.

14. Ni mu buhe buryo ababyeyi barera abana bonyine bakomeza kubona ikibazo cyo gutanga uburere mu buryo bushyize mu gaciro?

¹⁴ Bibiliya igira iti “umwana bandaritse akoza nyina isoni” (Imigani 29:15). Yehova Imana ashyigikira ko washyiriraho umuryango wawe amabwiriza ugenderaho kandi ukagenzura ko akurikizwa. Ku bw’ibyo ntiwagombye kubitinya cyangwa ngo wumve ko nta cyo ushoboye, wicire urubanza (Imigani 1:8). Ntugatatire amahame ari muri Bibiliya (Imigani 13:24). Ujye ugerageza gushyira mu gaciro, ntuyahindagure kandi uyakomereho. Uko igihe kizagenda gihita, abana na bo bazayakurikiza rwose. Icyakora nanone, bizagusaba ko unita ku byiyumvo by’abana bawe. Umugabo urera abana wenyine yaravuze ati “mu kubahana ngerageza no kubumva kuko baba bafite agahinda ko kubura nyina. Uko mbonye akanya nganira na bo. Iyo dutegurira amafunguro hamwe aba ari ‘igihe cyo kuvuga ibituri ku mutima.’ Icyo ni cyo gihe banyerurira bakambwira byose.”

15. Ni iki umubyeyi watanye n’uwo bashakanye yagombye kwirinda mu gihe amuvuga?

¹⁵ Niba waratanye n’uwo mwashakanye, kwirirwa umunegurira abana bawe nta cyiza bishobora kukugezaho. Iyo abana babona ababyeyi baterana amagambo birabababaza cyane, kandi amaherezo bishobora no gutuma bareka gukomeza kububaha mwembi. Uramenye rero ntukabwire umwana wawe amagambo adafite ikindi amaze kitari ukumubabaza gusa, wenda ngo “uri uwa so!” Uko agahinda uwo mwari mwarashakanye yaguteye kaba kangana kose, aracyari se cyangwa nyina w’abana bawe, kandi bo baba bakeneye gukundwa, kwitabwaho no guhabwa uburere n’ababyeyi bombi.b

16. Ni izihe gahunda zo mu buryo bw’umwuka umubyeyi urera abana wenyine agomba gukora buri gihe mu rwego rwo guha abana be uburere?

¹⁶ Nk’uko twabibonye mu bice byabanjirije iki, gutanga uburere ntibikubiyemo guhana gusa; binakubiyemo gutoza no kwigisha. Ibibazo byinshi bishobora gukemurwa hashyizweho gahunda nziza yo kubigisha mu buryo bw’umwuka (Abafilipi 3:16). Ni ngombwa ko buri gihe mujya mu materaniro ya Gikristo (Abaheburayo 10:24, 25). No kugira icyigisho cya Bibiliya buri cyumweru na byo ni ngombwa. Birumvikana ko kuyobora icyo cyigisho buri gihe bitoroshye. Hari umubyeyi wita ku muryango we cyane wavuze ati “iyo uvuye ku kazi uba wumva rwose ukeneye kuruhuka. Ariko kuko nzi ko ari ngombwa kwigana n’umukobwa wanjye, nishyiramo ko byanze bikunze tugomba kwiga. Uwo mukobwa wanjye ashimishwa cyane n’icyo cyigisho cyacu cy’umuryango.”

17. Ni irihe somo twakura ku burere bwiza mugenzi wa Pawulo witwaga Timoteyo yari yarahawe?

¹⁷ Uko bigaragara, Timoteyo wakoranaga n’intumwa Pawulo ntiyari yarigishijwe amahame ya Bibiliya na se, ahubwo yayigishijwe na nyina na nyirakuru. Ariko se, mbega ukuntu Timoteyo yavuyemo Umukristo w’intangarugero (Ibyakozwe 16:1, 2; 2 Timoteyo 1:5; 3:14, 15)! Ushobora nawe rwose kwiringira ko imihati ushyiraho urera abana bawe ‘ubahana, ubigisha iby’Umwami wacu’ izagira ingaruka nziza.—Abefeso 6:4.

UKO WANESHA IRUNGU

18, 19. (a) Ni iki gishobora gutera umubyeyi urera abana wenyine kwicwa n’irungu? (b) Ni iyihe nama yatanzwe yafasha umuntu gutegeka irari ry’ibitsina?

¹⁸ Umubyeyi urera abana wenyine yikije umutima aravuga ati “iyo ntashye maze nkinjira muri urwo ruzu rwa jyenyine, numva rwose irungu rinyishe. Reka rero ho iyo abana bamaze kuryama!” Irungu ni kimwe mu bintu akenshi bibera umubyeyi urera abana wenyine ikibazo gikomeye. Ni ibisanzwe ko yumva akumbuye uwo bashakanye, imishyikirano ya bugufi bari bafitanye n’andi mabanga yose y’abashakanye. Ariko se, umuntu yagerageza gukemura icyo kibazo akora n’ibidakorwa? Mu gihe cy’intumwa Pawulo, hari abapfakazi bari bakiri bato bemeye kuganzwa n’irari ryo gushaka ‘gucyurwa, baharika Kristo’ (1 Timoteyo 5:11, 12). Kwemera ko irari ry’umubiri ripfukirana ibintu by’umwuka byaduteza akaga gakomeye cyane.—1 Timoteyo 5:6.

¹⁹ Hari umugabo w’Umukristo wavuze ati “umuntu aba afite irari ryinshi ry’ibitsina ariko ashobora kuritegeka. Niba bitangiye kukuzamo, wikomeza kubitekerezaho. Hita ubyikuramo. Gutekereza ku bana bawe na byo byagufasha.” Ijambo ry’Imana ritanga inama igira iti ‘mwice ingeso zanyu z’iby’isi [zo] gusambana’ (Abakolosayi 3:5). Ubwo se uramutse udashaka kugira ipfa ry’ibyokurya wasoma ibitabo birimo amashusho y’ibyokurya biryoshye, cyangwa waganira n’abantu bakunda kuvuga ku biryo? Oya rwose! Ni cyo kimwe rero n’umuntu udashaka kuganzwa n’irari ry’ibitsina.

20. (a) Ni akahe kaga kaba kugarije abarambagizanya n’abantu batizera? (b) Ni mu buhe buryo abapfakazi n’abantu batashatse bagiye banesha ikibazo cy’irungu, ari mu gihe cya kera ari no muri iki gihe?

²⁰ Hari Abakristo bamwe na bamwe bagiye barambagizanya n’abantu batizera (1 Abakorinto 7:39). Ibyo se byaba byarabakemuriye ikibazo? Ashwi da! Hari Umukristokazi watanye n’umugabo we wagize ati “ikintu kibi cyane kiruta kuba wenyine ni ugushaka nabi!” Abakristo b’abapfakazi bo mu kinyejana cya mbere na bo nta kabuza bagiraga ikibazo cyo kwicwa n’irungu, ariko abazi ubwenge bashakaga ikintu kibahuza ntibakomeze kwitekerezaho, ‘bacumbikira abashyitsi, boza ibirenge by’abera, bagafasha n’abababaye’ (1 Timoteyo 5:10). Hari n’Abakristo benshi b’indahemuka bamaze imyaka n’imyaka bategereje igihe bazabonera uwo bashakana utinya Imana na bo bakomeza guhugira mu bintu nk’ibyo. Umupfakazi w’Umukristo ufite imyaka 68 yishyiriyeho gahunda yo kujya asura abandi bapfakazi mu gihe cyose yumva atangiye kugira irungu. Yaravuze ati “naje gusanga ko iyo ngiye kubasura, ngakora uturimo twanjye two mu rugo nkaniyitaho mu buryo bw’umwuka ntabona igihe cyo kumva ndi jyenyine.” Ikindi gikorwa cyiza kandi cy’ingenzi umuntu yakora, ni ukwigisha abandi ibihereranye n’Ubwami bw’Imana.—Matayo 28:19, 20.

21. Ni mu buhe buryo isengesho no kugira incuti nziza bishobora gufasha umuntu kunesha irungu?

²¹ Birumvikana ko ari nta buryo bw’igitangaza bwo gukiza irungu bubaho. Icyakora Yehova ashobora kuguha imbaraga zo kuryihanganira. Kugira ngo Umukristo abone imbaraga nk’izo bisaba ko “akomeza kwinginga no gusenga ku manywa na nijoro” (1 Timoteyo 5:5). Kwinginga bisobanura gukomeza gusaba, usaba ubufasha, byarimba ugatakamba cyane urira. (Gereranya n’Abaheburayo 5:7.) Gusuka imbere ya Yehova ibikuri ku mutima “ku manywa na nijoro” bishobora rwose kugufasha. Ikindi nanone, kugira incuti nziza na byo bishobora gutuma utagira irungu. Incuti nziza zishobora kukubwira “ijambo ryiza” riteye inkunga nka rya rindi rivugwa mu Migani 12:25.

22. Ni ibiki umuntu yatekerezaho mu gihe yumvise yongeye kugira irungu?

²² Rimwe na rimwe nuzajya wumva wongeye kugira irungu kuko ibyo bitazabura, ujye wibuka ko nta muntu n’umwe utagira ibibazo mu buzima. Ni koko, “bene Data” bose bafite ikibazo runaka bahanganye na cyo (1 Petero 5:9). Wikomeza gutekereza ku by’igihe cyashize (Umubwiriza 7:10). Tekereza ku byiza waba ufite muri iki gihe. Ikirenze ibyo byose, wiyemeze gukomeza kuba indahemuka no kunezeza umutima wa Yehova.—Imigani 27:11.

ICYO ABANDI BAKORA

23. Ni iyihe nshingano Abakristo baba bafite ku birebana n’imiryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe iri mu itorero?

²³ Ubufasha Abakristo bagenzi bacu baguha nta cyo wabunganya. Muri Yakobo 1:27 hagira hati “idini ritunganye kandi ritanduye imbere y’Imana Data wa twese ni iri: ni ugusūra impfubyi n’abapfakazi mu mibabaro yabo.” Koko rero, Abakristo bafite inshingano yo gufasha imiryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe. Ni mu buhe buryo bwiza ibyo byakorwamo?

24. Ni gute imiryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe ifite ibyo ikeneye yafashwa?

²⁴ Ushobora kubafasha ubaha ibintu bya ngombwa bakeneye. Bibiliya igira iti “ufite ibintu byo mu isi, akareba ko mwene Se akennye akamukingira imbabazi ze, urukundo rw’Imana rwaguma muri we rute?” (1 Yohana 3:17). Ijambo ry’umwimerere ry’Ikigiriki ryahinduwemo ‘kureba’ ntirisobanura guterera akajisho ku kintu gusa, ahubwo risobanura kukireba neza ubyitondeye. Ibyo bishaka kuvuga ko Umukristo w’umugiraneza abanza kumenya neza imimerere uwo muryango urimo n’ibyo ukeneye. Bashobora wenda kuba bakeneye amafaranga. Abandi wenda bashobora kuba bakeneye gusanirwa utuntu runaka mu rugo rwabo. Cyangwa se icyo bakeneye gusa akaba ari nko kubatumira mugasangira cyangwa mukifatanya na bo mu materaniro mbonezamubano.

25. Ni mu buhe buryo abandi Bakristo bagaragariza ababyeyi barera abana bonyine ko babitaho?

²⁵ Ikindi nanone, muri 1 Petero 3:8 hagira hati “mwese muhuze imitima, mubabarane kandi mukundane nk’abavandimwe, mugirirane imbabazi.” Hari umubyeyi urera abana batandatu wenyine wagize ati “hari ubwo numva rwose bindenze, nkumva bimbujije amahwemo. Icyakora hari ubwo nk’umuvandimwe cyangwa mushiki wacu agira atya akambwira ati ‘Joan, nta ko uba utagize rwose. Imihati yawe si imfabusa.’ Byonyine no kumenya ko abandi bagutekereza kandi ko bakwitaho biragufasha cyane.” Abakristokazi bakuze bashobora cyane cyane kugira icyo bamarira abagore bakiri bato barera abana bonyine, babatega amatwi igihe bafite ibibazo batatinyuka kubwira umuntu w’umugabo.

26. Ni mu buhe buryo abagabo b’Abakristo bakuze mu buryo bw’umwuka bafasha imfubyi?

²⁶ Abagabo b’Abakristo bashobora gufasha abo babyeyi mu bundi buryo. Umukiranutsi Yobu yaravuze ati ‘nakizaga imfubyi itagira gifasha’ (Yobu 29:12). No muri iki gihe hari abagabo b’Abakristo bita ku mfubyi bakazigaragariza ‘urukundo ruvuye ku mutima uboneye’ ari nta kindi bagamije (1 Timoteyo 1:5). Rimwe na rimwe bashobora gukora gahunda yo kujyana n’abo bana mu murimo wo kubwiriza, bakaba banabatumira kuza kwifatanya mu cyigisho cy’umuryango cyangwa mu myidagaduro, ariko ku buryo ibyo bidatuma batita ku miryango yabo. Ibyo bikorwa byiza byose bishobora gutuma umwana w’imfubyi ataba ikirara.

27. Ni nde ababyeyi barera abana bonyine baba biringiye ko azabafasha?

²⁷ Uko byagenda kose ariko, birumvikana ko abo babyeyi barera abana bonyine ari bo bagomba ‘kwikorera umutwaro wabo’ w’inshingano zibareba (Abagalatiya 6:5). Icyakora abavandimwe na bashiki babo b’Abakristo baba biteguye kubagaragariza urukundo, kandi na Yehova Imana ni uko. Bibiliya imwerekezaho igira iti “aramira imfubyi n’umupfakazi” (Zaburi 146:9). Kubera ko Yehova afasha iyo miryango igizwe n’umubyeyi umwe mu buryo bwuje urukundo, ishobora rwose kugira icyo igeraho!