IGICE CYA 5

Nakora iki umubyeyi wanjye yongeye gushaka?

IYO umubyeyi wawe yongeye gushaka, ashobora kuba yishimye cyane. Ku rundi ruhande ariko, wowe ushobora kuba utishimye na gato. Kubera iki? Iyo umwe mu babyeyi bawe yongeye gushaka, bituma icyizere wari ufite cy’uko ababyeyi bawe bazongera kwiyunga kiyoyoka. Nanone ariko, iyo umwe mu babyeyi bawe ahise ashaka hashize igihe gito undi mubyeyi wawe apfuye, bishobora kugutera agahinda kenshi cyane.

Wumvise umeze ute igihe umwe mu babyeyi bawe yongeraga gushaka? Shyira aka kamenyetso ✔ inyuma y’ibyaba byarakubayeho.

Numvise . . .

□ Nishimye

□ Mpangayitse

□ Mpemukiwe

□ Ngiriye ishyari uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wanjye

□ Mpemutse kubera ko natangiye gukunda uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wanjye

Icyo cya nyuma gishobora guterwa n’uko wumvaga utahemukira umubyeyi wawe mutakibana. Impamvu yaba yabiteye iyo ari yo yose, ibi bintu bivuzwe haruguru bishobora gutuma ugaragaza akababaro kawe mu buryo budakwiriye.

Urugero, ushobora kujya ubuza amahoro uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe. Ushobora no kugerageza guteranya umubyeyi wawe n’uwo bashakanye, ushaka ko batana. Icyakora hari umugani uvuga amagambo arimo ubwenge, ugira uti “utera imidugararo mu rugo rwe umurage we uzaba umuyaga,” bishatse kuvuga ko nta cyo azageraho (Imigani 11:29, Bibiliya Yera). Ntuzagwe muri uwo mutego. Ushobora gukemura ibibazo ufite mu bundi buryo burushijeho kuba bwiza. Reka dufate ingero nke.

Ikibazo cya 1: Kwemera kuyoborwa n’uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe

Kuyoborwa n’umubyeyi utarakubyaye ntibyoroshye. Ashobora kugusaba gukora ikintu iki n’iki, ugahita umubwira uhubutse uti ‘n’ubundi si wowe wambyaye!’ Ushobora kumva ushimishijwe n’uko uvuze ikikuri ku mutima, ariko biba bigaragaje ko utarakura.

Ariko kandi, kwemera kuyoborwa n’uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe, ni uburyo bumwe ugaragazamo ko wumvira inama yo muri Bibiliya yo ‘gukura ku birebana n’ubushobozi bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu’ (1 Abakorinto 14:20). Mu by’ukuri, uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe asohoza inshingano nk’iz’umubyeyi wakubyaye, kandi ukwiriye kumwubaha.—Imigani 1:8; Abefeso 6:1-4.

Iyo uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe aguhannye, aba akugaragarije ko agukunda kandi ko akwitaho (Imigani 13:24). Yvonne ufite imyaka 18 yaravuze ati “umugabo wa mama ajya aduhana, kandi n’ubundi ni byo abana baba biteze kuri se. Numva ko ndamutse ninubiye inama ze, nta ho byaba bitaniye no kuvuga ko kuba yaradushakiye ibidutunga kandi akatwitaho mu buryo bw’umwuka mu gihe cy’imyaka myinshi nta cyo bimaze. Ibyo byaba ari ukuba indashima.”

Icyakora, ushobora kuba ufite impamvu zifatika zo kwinuba. Bityo rero, jya ugaragaza ko ‘ukuze’ ukora ibivugwa mu Bakolosayi 3:13, hagira hati “mukomeze kwihanganirana no kubabarirana rwose igihe umuntu agize icyo apfa n’undi.”

Andika hasi aha imico myiza uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe afite.

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Kuzirikana imico myiza uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe afite, bizagufasha bite kurushaho kumwubaha?

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Ikibazo cya 2: Kwitoza kugira ibyo muhuriraho no kwemera kugira ibyo wigomwa

Aaron, ufite imyaka 24, yaravuze ati “papa yashatse incuro ebyiri zose. Gukunda abagize buri muryango mushya twabaga tubana na wo byarangoye. Mu mizo ya mbere nabonaga nta cyo duhuriyeho, ariko nabwiwe ko mpatirwa kubakunda. Iyo mimerere yatumye ngwa mu rujijo.”

Nawe ushobora kuba uhanganye n’ibibazo bitoroshye. Urugero, ushobora gusanga utakiri umwana mukuru mu rugo cyangwa se utakiri umwana w’ikinege. Niba uri umuhungu, ushobora kuba wari umaze igihe kirekire wumva ko ari wowe ibyo urugo bireba, none ubu wasimbuwe n’umugabo wa mama wawe. Cyangwa se ushobora kuba uri mu mimerere nk’iya Yvonne. Yaravuze ati “papa nta na rimwe yajyaga yita kuri mama. Nari naramenyereye ko mama ari uwanjye gusa. Ariko mama yongeye gushaka, umugabo we yamwitayeho cyane. Bamaranaga igihe kinini, bakaganira, ku buryo numvaga uwo mugabo yaramuntwaye. Icyakora nageze aho mpindura imitekerereze.”

None se kimwe na Yvonne, wakora iki kugira ngo ugire icyo uhindura? Bibiliya itanga inama igira iti “gushyira mu gaciro kwanyu bimenywe n’abantu bose” (Abafilipi 4:5). Ijambo ry’Ikigiriki ryahinduwemo “gushyira mu gaciro” risobanura “kuva ku izima,” kandi rikumvikanisha igitekerezo cy’umuntu udatsimbarara ngo ashake ko ibyo afitiye uburenganzira byose bikorwa. Wakurikiza ute iyo nama? (1) Ntugakomeze gutekereza ibyahise (Umubwiriza 7:10). (2) Ujye uhora witeguye gufatanya n’uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe hamwe n’abana be (1 Timoteyo 6:18). (3) Ntukabafate nk’aho nta sano mufitanye.

Ni iki wifuza kurushaho kunonosora mu byavuzwe haruguru? ․․․․․

Ikibazo cya 3: Kwihanganira kudafatwa nk’abandi

Tara yaravuze ati “umugabo wa mama yakundaga abana be kurusha uko jye na mukuru wanjye yadukundaga. Yabaguriraga ibyokurya byose babaga bashaka kandi akabatirira za filimi bashakaga kureba. Yakoraga ibishoboka byose kugira ngo abashimishe.” Kwihanganira ibintu nk’ibyo ntibyoroshye. Ariko se ni iki cyabigufashamo? Jya ugerageza kwiyumvisha impamvu uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe, atafata kimwe abana yibyariye n’abo atabyaye. Birashoboka ko atabikorera gusa ko ari abana be, ahubwo ari uko bafite byinshi bahuriyeho kuva kera. N’ubundi kandi, nawe wisanga cyane ku mubyeyi wakubyaye kurusha uko wisanga ku wo bashakanye.

Icyakora hari itandukaniro hagati yo kugufata kimwe n’abandi no kugufata neza. Kamere z’abantu ziratandukanye kandi ntibakenera ibintu bimwe. Ubwo rero, aho kugira ngo uhangayikishwe cyane n’uko uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe atagufata kimwe n’abana be, gerageza kureba niba yihatira kuguha iby’ingenzi ukenera.

Ni ibihe bintu ukeneye uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe aguha?

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Ni ibihe bintu uba ukeneye ariko ukaba wumva utabibona?

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None se niba wumva ko hari ibyo atagukorera, kuki utabiganiraho na we umwubashye?

Iyo wihanganye amaherezo uragororerwa

Ubusanzwe, mu muryango w’abantu bashakanye bafite abana, hagomba gushira imyaka myinshi kugira ngo abawugize bizerane, kugeza ubwo bumva babanye neza. Icyo gihe ni bwo baba bashobora guhuza imico ndetse n’uko babona ibintu, ku buryo gahunda zo mu muryango zose zigendera hamwe. Biragusaba kwihangana! Ntuzitege ko uzahita ubakunda cyangwa ko muzahita muba umuryango wunze ubumwe.

Igihe mama wa Thomas yongeraga gushaka, Thomas ntibyamushimishije na gato. Mama we yari asanzwe afite abana bane, ashaka umugabo ufite abana batatu. Thomas yaravuze ati “twahoraga turwana, dutongana, tukarakaranya mu buryo bukabije kandi tukabuzanya amahoro.” Ni iki cyaje kubafasha? Thomas yongeyeho ati “gushyira mu bikorwa amahame yo muri Bibiliya, byatumye ibyo bibazo bikemuka.”

UMURONGO W’IFATIZO

“Iherezo ry’ikintu riruta intangiriro yacyo, kandi uwihangana aruta uwishyira hejuru mu mutima.” —Umubwiriza 7:8.

INAMA

Kubana n’abana mutava inda imwe kandi mudahuje igitsina, bishobora kubyutsa irari ry’ibitsina. Ukwiriye kwishyiriraho imipaka mu bitekerezo byawe kugira ngo utabifuza, kandi ujye wirinda icyatuma imyambarire cyangwa imyitwarire yawe bibyutsa irari ry’ibitsina.

ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?

Birashoboka ko abana mutava inda imwe na bo baba bafite ibibazo byo kumenyera uwo muryango mushya.

ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA

Nzagerageza kurushaho kubaha uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wanjye, nibuke ibi bintu byiza yakoreye umuryango wacu (andika ibintu bibiri): ․․․․․

Abo tutavukana nibamfata nabi, nzashyira mu bikorwa ihame riri mu Baroma 12:21, nkore ibi bikurikira: ․․․․․

Icyo nifuza kubaza umwe mu babyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki: ․․․․․

UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?

● Ni ibihe bintu uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wawe cyangwa abana be, bashobora kugiraho impungenge mbere yo kubana namwe?

● Kuki ari iby’ingenzi gutekereza uko muzaba mubanye muri uwo muryango mushya?

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 38]

‘‘Undi mugabo mama yashatse na we baratanye. Icyakora na n’ubu mbanye neza n’abana b’uwo mugabo yari yarashatse. Kuba narabanye na bo ni kimwe mu bintu byiza kurusha ibindi byambayeho.’’—Tara

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 39]

Guhuriza hamwe imiryango ibiri ni nko kuvanga amazi n’isima. Bitwara igihe n’imbaraga, ariko amaherezo bitanga ikintu gikomeye kandi kirambye