ʻAtā mei he Houtamakí

‘Ko e houtamakí ko ha tōʻonga ia ʻoku ako, pea ko ha meʻa pē ʻoku ako ʻe lava ke fakangaloʻi.’​—Dr. C. Sally Murphy.

KO E toko taha houtamakí mo e toko taha maʻukovia ʻo e houtamakí ʻokú na fakatou fiemaʻu ʻa e tokoni. ʻOku fiemaʻu ki he toko taha houtamakí ke ne ako ke feohi mo e niʻihi kehé ʻo ʻikai ke ngāuekoviʻaki ʻa e mālohí. Pea ko e toko taha maʻukovia ʻo e houtamakí ʻokú ne fiemaʻu ha ngaahi founga ʻaonga ke fekuki ai mo e palopalemá.

ʻOku faʻa ʻikai ke ʻiloʻi ʻe he toko taha houtamakí ʻa e founga ke feohi ai mo e niʻihi kehé pea ʻikai ke ne mahinoʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongoʻi ʻa e faʻahinga ʻokú ne fakailifiaʻí. ʻOku fiemaʻu ke siofi ofi pea akoʻi ia ke ne fetuʻutaki totonu. Ko e tohi Take Action Against Bullying ʻoku pehē ai: “Ka ʻikai ako mo ngāueʻaki ʻa e ngaahi tōʻonga foʻoú, ʻe hokohoko atu ʻa e kau houtamakí ke houtamaki ʻi he kotoa ʻo ʻenau moʻuí. ʻOku nau houtamaki ki honau ngaahi hoá, ko ʻenau fānaú, pea mo e faʻahinga māʻulalo nai ʻi honau feituʻu ngāué.”

Tokoniʻi ke ʻOua ʻe Houtamaki

Ko hono akoʻi tōmuʻa ʻa e fānaú ʻi he moʻuí ke nau kaungāongoʻí ʻe lava ke taʻofi ai kinautolu mei he hoko ko e kau houtamakí. Ko e kau faiako ʻi he ngaahi fonua ʻe niʻihi ʻoku nau ngāue ʻo fakahoko ha sīpinga foʻou ʻo e akó ʻoku ui ko e akoʻi ki he kaungāongoʻí. Ko e taumuʻá ke akoʻi ʻa e kau ako ʻoku nau taʻu nimá ke nau mahinoʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongoʻi ʻa e niʻihi kehé pea ke tōʻongafai anga-lelei ki he kakaí. Lolotonga ʻoku kei siʻi ha fakamatala moʻoni fakaefika ki he uesia taimi lōloá, ko e ngaahi ola ki muʻá ʻoku pehē ai ko e faʻahinga kuo nau fou he akó ʻoku siʻi ange ʻenau anga-fakaaoaó ʻi he faʻahinga kuo ʻikaí.

ʻI he tuʻunga ko ha mātuʻá, ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke ke tuku ʻataʻatā pē ʻa e akoʻi peheé ki ha polokalama fakaako. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai te ke loto ke hoko hoʻo kiʻi tamá ko ha taha houtamaki, ʻoku fiemaʻu ke ke akoʻi ia ʻaki ʻa e lea pea ʻi he faʻifaʻitakiʻanga ki he founga ke tōʻongafai ʻaki ki he niʻihi kehé ʻa e tokaʻi mo e fakangeingeia. Ko e hā ʻe lava ke ne tokoniʻi koé? Ngalingali, kuó ke ʻosi ala maʻu ha maʻuʻanga ako lelei ʻaupito kae ʻikai fakamahuʻingaʻi totonu ki he meʻá ni—ko e Folofola ʻa e ʻOtuá, ʻa e Tohi Tapú. ʻE lava fēfē ke tokoni iá?

Ko e meʻa ʻe taha, ʻokú ne akoʻi māʻalaʻala ʻa e anga ʻo e ongoʻi ʻa e ʻOtuá fekauʻaki mo e houtamakí. ʻOkú ne fakaliliʻa ai! ʻOku pehē ʻe he Tohi Tapú ʻo fekauʻaki mo e ʻOtuá: “[Ko ha taha pē ʻoku] ʻofa ki he fakamalohi, ʻoku fehiʻa ki ai ʻene moʻui.” (Sāme 11:5) ʻIkai ko ia pē, ʻoku ʻikai puli mei he ʻOtuá ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hokó. ʻOku lēkooti ʻe he Tohi Tapú ʻene ngaahi ongoʻi ʻo e fakameʻapangoʻia, pe mamahi, ʻi he fekauʻaki mo e kau ʻIsilelí ʻi he taimi naʻa nau faingataʻaʻia ai “koeʻuhi ko e kakai naʻe fakamoʻulaloa mo laiki kinautolu.” (Fakamaau 2:18) ʻI he ngaahi taimi lahi naʻe tautea ʻe he ʻOtuá ʻa e faʻahinga naʻa nau ngāuekoviʻaki honau mālohí pea houtamaki ki he vaivaí mo e ʻikai ha tokoní.​—Ekisoto 22:​22-​24.

ʻOku toe ʻi he Tohi Tapú ʻa e meʻa ʻa ia ko e fakahinohino ʻiloa taha nai ia kuo faifai ange pea ʻomai fekauʻaki mo e founga ke fakahāhā ai ʻa e kaungāongoʻí. Naʻe pehē ʻe Sīsū: “Ko ia ʻilonga ha meʻa ʻoku mou loto ke fai ʻe he kakai kiate kimoutolu, fai pehe foki kiate kinautolu.” (Mātiu 7:12) Ko hono akoʻi ʻo e fānaú ke nau koloaʻaki ʻa e Lao Koula ko iá—ke ʻofa ai pea moʻuiʻakí—ʻoku ʻikai faingofua; ʻoku fiemaʻu ha faʻifaʻitakiʻanga lelei, kītaki, mo e ngāue mālohi, tautefito koeʻuhí ko e fānau īkí ʻoku nau siokita fakaenatula. Ka ko e feinga kotoa ko iá ʻoku ʻaonga. Kapau ʻoku ako hoʻo fānaú ke anga-lelei mo kaungāongoʻi, te nau sio ki he foʻi fakakaukau tonu ʻo e houtamakí ko e meʻa palakū.

Tokoni ki he Faʻahinga Maʻukoviá

Ko e faʻahinga maʻukovia ʻo e houtamakí, tautefito ki he fānaú, ʻoku nau fehangahangai mo ha ʻahiʻahi faingataʻa—ko hono tauhi maʻu ko ia ʻa e mafamafatataú ʻi he malumalu ʻo e tengé. ʻI he taimi ʻoku houtamaki atu ai ha taha kia koé, ngalingali ʻokú ne holi vēkeveke ke ʻai ke mole hoʻo mafamafatatau fakaeongó. ʻOkú ne ʻamanaki te ke hanga ki he ʻita tōtuʻá pe fakahaaʻi ʻa e ilifia lahi. Kapau te ke tōlili pe tangi pea fakahāhā ha loto-mamahi pe ilifia, ʻoku maʻu ʻe he toko taha houtamakí ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ne fiemaʻú. Ko ia te ne feinga nai ke toutou fakatupu ʻa e tōʻonga tatau.

Ko e hā ʻe lava ke ke faí? Fakakaukau ki he ngaahi fokotuʻu hokó. ʻOku hiki tefito ia fakataha mo e fakakaukau ki he fānaú, ka ko e ngaahi tefitoʻi moʻoní ʻe toe ngāueʻaki foki ia ki he kakai lalahi ʻoku nau feangainga mo e kau houtamakí.

◼ Hanganaki fakamokomoko. ʻOua ʻe ʻunua ki he tōlilí. ʻOku faleʻi fakapotopoto mai ʻa e Tohi Tapú: “Tukuage ae ita, bea liaki ae lili.” (Sāme 37:​8, PM) ʻI he ʻikai mapuleʻi hoʻo ʻitá, ʻokú ke tuku ai ke puleʻi koe ʻe he toko taha houtamakí, pea ʻoku ngalingali te ke fai ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻa ia te ke toki fakaʻiseʻisa pē ai.—Palovepi 25:28.

◼ Feinga ke toʻo mei ho ʻatamaí ʻa e fakakaukau sāuní. ʻOku faʻa foki mai ʻa e sāuní. ʻI ha tuʻunga pē, ko e sāuní ʻoku ʻikai moʻoni fakafiemālie ia. Ko e taʻahine ʻe taha, ʻa ia naʻe tā ia ʻe ha toʻutupu ʻe toko nima ʻi heʻene taʻu 16, ʻokú ne manatu: “Naʻá ku fakapapauʻi ʻi hoku lotó, ‘te u faisāuni kia kinautolu.’ Ko ia, naʻá ku maʻu ha tokoni mei hoku ngaahi kaumeʻá pea sāuniʻi ʻa e toko ua ʻo hoku kau ʻohofí.” Ko e ikuʻangá? “Naʻá ku hoko ai ʻo ongoʻi ngeʻesi,” ko ʻene leá ia. Pea ko hono ʻulungāangá tonu naʻe toe kovi ange ʻi he hili iá. Manatuʻi ʻa e ngaahi lea fakapotopoto ʻa e Tohi Tapú: “Oua naa totogi ae kovi aki ae kovi ki ha taha.”—Loma 12:​17, PM.

◼ ʻI he taimi ʻoku kamata haʻu ai ʻa e ʻitá, mavahe fakavavevave. ʻOku pehē ʻe he Tohi Tapú: “Ke ke ʻatā mai koe ʻi he teʻeki ke aʻu ki he feinaʻaki [pe keé].” (Palovepi 17:14) ʻI he fakalūkufuá, feinga ke fakamamaʻo mei he faʻahinga ʻoku hehema ke houtamakí. ʻOku pehē ʻe he Palovepi 22:3 (PM): “Oku jio mamao atu ae tagata fakabotoboto ki he kovi, o ne fufu ia mei ai: ka oku mole atu be ae vale, bea tautea ia.”

◼ Kapau ʻoku hokohoko ʻa e houtamakí, ʻe fiemaʻu nai ke ke lea maʻau. Fili ha mōmeniti ʻokú ke mokomoko aí, sio hangatonu ki he mata ʻo e toko taha houtamakí, pea lea ʻi he leʻo mālohi mo ʻikai hohaʻa. Tala ange kiate ia ʻoku ʻikai te ke saiʻia he meʻa ʻokú ne faí—ʻoku ʻikai ke oli pea ʻoku fakatupu mamahi. ʻOua ʻe hanga ki ha lea ngāhiʻi pe lea fakatupu ʻita.​—Palovepi 15:1.

◼ Talanoa ki ha toko taha lahi fua fatongia, pea mo tokanga ʻo fekauʻaki mo e houtamakí. Lea hangatonu fekauʻaki mo e palopalemá, pea kole ki ha tokoni ki hono fakaleleiʻi iá. Fai ʻa e meʻa tatau ʻi hoʻo ngaahi lotu ki he ʻOtuá, pea ʻe lava ke hoko eni ko ha matavai fakaofo ʻo e tokoni mo e fakafiemālie.​—1 Tesalonaika 5:​17.

◼ Manatuʻi ʻoku ʻi ai ho mahuʻinga ʻi he tuʻunga ko ha toko tahá. ʻE loto nai ʻa e toko taha houtamakí ke ke fakakaukau ʻoku ʻikai hao mahuʻinga, ʻokú ke taau ke ngaohikoviʻi. Ka ʻoku ʻikai ko ho toko taha fakamāú ia. Ko e ʻOtuá ia, pea ʻokú ne kumi ki ha lelei ʻia kitautolu taki taha. Ko e toko taha houtamakí ia ʻoku hoko ʻo siʻi hono mahuʻingá ʻaki ʻene hanga ki he ʻulungāanga peheé.

Ngaahi Mātuʻa​—Maluʻi Hoʻomou Fānaú

Ko e ngaahi mātuʻá foki ʻe lava ke nau kamata tōmuʻa ʻi hono teuteuʻi ʻenau fānaú ke fakapotopoto ʻenau feangainga ki he kau houtamakí. Ko e fakatātaá, ʻe lava ke nau ngāueʻaki ʻa e ngaahi vaʻinga fakatātaaʻi mo ʻenau fānaú ke fakahāhā ʻa e founga ke fakahoko ai ha ongoʻi loto-falalá.

Naʻa mo e anga ʻo e tuʻú pe tangutú—ko e tuʻu hangatonú—ʻoku lava ke ne fakahaaʻi ha ongoʻi loto-falala ʻa ia ʻoku ʻikai fakaʻaiʻai ai ʻa e kau houtamaki ʻe niʻihi. Ko e fetuʻutaki ʻaki ʻa e matá, tuku fiemālie ʻa e ongo nimá mo e umá, pea lea ʻi ha leʻo mālohi mo totoká ʻe tokoni foki nai ia. ʻOku ekinaki ki he ngaahi mātuʻá ke akoʻi ʻenau kiʻi tamá ke mavahe, ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei he kau houtamakí, pea ke kole ki ha toko taha lahi alafalalaʻanga ki ha tokoni, hangē ko ia ko ha faiako.

Ko hono fakangata ʻosi ʻa e tōʻonga houtamakí ʻoku kamata ia ʻaki hono akoʻi ʻa e fāmilí. Ko e ngaahi mātuʻa ʻoku nau fakafaingamālieʻi kinautolu ki heʻenau fānaú, fanongo tokanga mo kaungāongoʻi ki heʻenau ngaahi loto-hohaʻá, ʻoku nau fakahūhū kia kinautolu ha ongoʻi ʻoku fiemaʻu, poupouʻi, pea ʻofaʻi kinautolu. Ko e kau palōfesinale lahi ʻi he malaʻe ʻo e tauhi fānaú mo e ngaahi palopalema ʻa e toʻumeʻá ʻoku nau fakaʻaiʻai ʻa e ngaahi mātuʻá ke nau ʻoange ki heʻenau fānaú ha fakakaukau fakatuʻamelie kia kinautolu tonu. Ko ha vakai lelei pehē ʻoku fakasiʻisiʻi ai ʻenau hā fakamānako ko e ngaahi tāketi ʻi he vakai mai ʻa e kau houtamakí.

Ka ʻoku kau ki ai ʻa e meʻa lahi ange ʻi he talanoá pē. Ko e mēmipa taki taha ʻo e fāmilí ʻoku fiemaʻu ke ne ako ke tōʻongafai ki he niʻihi kehé ʻaki ʻa e tokaʻi mo e fakangeingeia pea ke fakatupulekina ʻa e kaungāongoʻí. Ko ia ʻoua ʻe kātakiʻi ʻa e tōʻonga houtamaki ʻi ho fāmilí. ʻAi ho ʻapí ko ha taulanga ū malu, ʻa ia ʻoku ikuna ai ʻa e tokaʻí mo e ʻofá.

Ko e Ngataʻanga ʻo e Houtamakí

“Oku bule ae tagata e toko taha ki he toko taha ka e kovi ai ia.” (Koheleti 8:​9, PM) Ko e anga ia hono fakanounou ʻe he Tohi Tapú ʻa e hisitōlia fakaetangatá. Ko e moʻoni, kuo fakahohaʻasi ʻe he houtamakí ʻa e faʻahinga ʻo e tangatá ʻi he laui afeʻi taʻu. Naʻe pehē ʻe ha tokotaha-tohi Tohi Tapu: “Pea u foki ai ʻo vakai ʻa e ngaahi fakamalohi kehekehe ʻoku fai ʻi he lalo laʻa: pea vakai, ko e loʻimata é ʻo siʻi fakamalohia, kae ʻikai ha taha ke fakafiemalie kiate kinautolu; ʻio, ʻi he feituʻu ʻa fakamalohi naʻe ai ha fefeka, kae ʻikai ha taha ke fai ha fakafiemalie ki he faʻahinga ko é.”—Koheleti 4:1.

Kae kehe, ʻoku ʻafio moʻoni mai ʻa e ʻOtuá ki he houtamaki kotoa ʻoku hoko ʻi he māmaní, pea ʻokú ne ongoʻi ʻa e faʻahinga ʻoku lōmekiná. Ka ʻe faifai ange peá ne fai ha meʻa fekauʻaki mo ia? ʻIo, te ne fai! Fakatokangaʻi ange ʻa ʻene palōmesi ʻoku maʻu ʻi he Maika 4:4: “Ka te nau nofo taki taha ʻi hono lolo vaine, pea ʻi hono lolo fiki; ʻo ʻikai mafakahohaʻa kinautolu ʻe ha taha—he kuo folofola ki ai ʻa e fofonga ʻo Sihova Sapaoti.”

Fakakaukau atu ki he tuʻunga ʻe ʻi ai ʻa e māmaní ʻi he taimi ʻe fakahoko ai ʻa e palōmesi ko iá. ʻE ʻikai ha taha ke ne ʻai ʻa e niʻihi kehé ke tetetete ʻi he ilifiá—ʻikai ha kau houtamaki! ʻIkai ʻoku ongo fakamānako ia? Ka kuo fai ʻe he ʻOtuá ʻa e meʻa lahi ange ʻi he palōmesi pē ki ha kahaʻu peheé. ʻI he taimí ni ʻoku fakahoko ai ha polokalama ako Tohi Tapu ola lelei lahi ʻi he foʻi kolopé. ʻOku utu ai ʻa e ngaahi ola ʻaonga. Ko e faʻahinga ʻoku kau aí ʻoku akoʻi ke nau liliu ʻenau ngaahi tōʻonga angaʻitangata fakaaoao lahi angé, ke femelinoʻaki ai pē, pea ke tōʻongafai ki he niʻihi kehé ʻaki ʻa e tokaʻi mo e fakangeingeia. (Efeso 4:​22-​24) Kuo vavé ni ke hūhū ʻa e ngaahi ola ʻo e fakahinohino māʻolungá ni ʻi he foʻi māmaní, pea ʻe ʻikai kei ʻi ai ʻa e palopalema ʻo e houtamakí. Ko e ngaahi palōmesi ʻa e ʻOtuá ʻoku lēkooti ʻi he Tohi Tapú ʻe hoko ia ko ha meʻa moʻoni. Ko e faʻahinga kotoa ʻe moʻui he taimi ko iá te nau fiefia ʻi ha māmani ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai ha kau houtamaki!

[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 8]

ʻOku ʻikai ha ʻuhinga ke mā ai ʻi he mavahe mei ha toko taha houtamaki

[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 9]

ʻI ha ʻatimosifia fakafāmili lelei, ʻoku akoʻi ai ʻa e fānaú ke nau fekuki mo e faʻahinga kotoa pē ʻo e houtamakí

[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 10]

Akoʻi hoʻo fānaú ke nau lea maʻanautolu ʻi ha founga mālohi kae fakapotopoto