Famili i Bruk​—Divos i Save Nogutim Ol Tineja

OL SAVEMAN bilong helpim ol marit i ting ol i save long wanem skultok inap helpim ol marit. Ol i tokim ol papamama em marit bilong ol i gat hevi: ‘Yupela i mas tingim amamas bilong yupela yet,’ na ol i tok moa: ‘No ken wari long ol pikinini, ol bai orait. I no hatwok tumas long ol pikinini i karim hevi bilong divos bilong papamama, tasol i hatwok moa long ol i stap wantaim papamama i save kros pait long olgeta taim!’

Tasol sampela saveman em bipo ol i tok divos em gutpela rot bilong stretim hevi, nau ol i tok ol i popaia. Ol i tok: ‘Divos i olsem wanpela woa. Man na meri wantaim i kisim bagarap, na ol pikinini tu.’

Ol i Ting Divos i No Gat Hatwok Bilong En

Stori bilong divos inap kamap wanpela pani program long TV. Olsem: Papa na Mama i divos. Kot i tok Mama bai kisim ol pikinini, na bihain em i maritim wanpela wido man husat i gat ol pikinini bilong em yet. Long olgeta wik, dispela famili i bungim sampela kain hevi​​—⁠na ol inap stretim ol dispela hevi insait long 30 minit tasol. Taim ol i stretim ol hevi, ol i tromoi ol smatpela tok pani i mekim ol man i lap.

Tru, ating kain program long TV bai mekim ol man i lap. Tasol taim tupela marit i divos, dispela i no samting bilong lap, olsem i save kamap long TV. Divos i save kamapim bikpela pen na bel hevi. Long buk bilong em (Emotional Infidelity), M. Gary Neuman i tok: “Tupela marit i mas i go long kot bilong katim marit. Wanpela i kisim narapela i go long kot. Taim yu wokim disisen long divos, long dispela taim stret, yu lusim sampela namba bilong yu long bosim laip bilong pikinini bilong yu, mani bilong yu, na ating haus bilong yu tu. Ating yu inap stretim ol hevi long kot, tasol sampela taim, nogat. Wanpela jas husat i no save long yu na famili bilong yu, em bai tokim yu long hamas taim yu inap lukim pikinini bilong yu na hamas mani bilong yu yet yu ken holim. Tasol sori tru, dispela man yu no save long en, em i no gat wankain tingting olsem yu.”

Long planti taim, divos i tekewe sampela hevi na i kamapim ol narapela hevi. Tru tumas, olgeta samting long sait bilong mani na sindaun bilong famili inap senis​​—⁠na ating ol dispela senis i no gutpela tumas. Na tu, divos i save mekim sampela samting long ol pikinini.

Divos na Ol Tineja

Divos inap nogutim tru ol pikinini, maski ol i gat hamas krismas. Sampela i ting divos i no save bagarapim tumas bel bilong ol tineja. Ol i ting ol i bikpela pinis na klostu bai ol i lusim papamama. Tasol ol saveman i save long ol hevi em divos i save kamapim. Ol i kisim save olsem ol dispela samting tasol i mekim na divos i nogutim moa yet ol tineja.a Skelim ol dispela tok hia:

◼ Taim ol tineja i wok long kamap bikpela, tingting bilong ol i no stap isi. Ating taim ol i liklik yet, ol i no save tingting planti tumas. Ol i laik bosim wokabaut bilong ol yet, tasol no ken larim dispela i giamanim yu​​—⁠ol tineja i nidim strongpela famili long stiaim ol.

◼ Long dispela haptaim we ol tineja i wok long lain long kisim pasin bilong stap gutpela pren bilong ol narapela, divos i lainim ol long kisim tupela tingting long ol kain pasin olsem, pasin bilong trastim narapela, stap gut long narapela, na laikim narapela. Taim ol i kamap bikpela, ating bai ol i no laik pas gut wantaim ol narapela.

◼ Tru, planti pikinini, maski ol i gat hamas krismas, ol i save kamapim bel hevi bilong ol long rot bilong mekim pasin bikhet. Planti taim ol tineja i save mekim olsem long ol rot i nogut moa, olsem ol i mekim pasin raskol, dring planti tumas na kisim drak.

Dispela i no makim olsem ol tineja em papamama bilong ol i divos, ol i no inap pas gut wantaim ol narapela o kamap gutpela man long bihain. Nogat. Ol inap kamap gutpela, na moa yet sapos ol i pas gut wantaim papa na mama.b Tasol i no gutpela long kisim kain tingting olsem sampela man, em ol i tok, divos ‘bai helpim ol pikinini’ o em bai pinisim kros pait namel long tupela marit. Sampela marit i luksave olsem bihain long divos, ol i mas bung planti taim moa, winim taim ol i no bin divos, na ol i mas toktok wantaim long ol samting we inap kamapim bikpela kros pait moa, olsem wok bilong lukautim pikinini long sait bilong mani na ol pikinini bai stap wantaim husat. Long kain ol samting olsem, divos i no pinisim ol hevi bilong famili, nogat, em i bringim ol dispela hevi i go long kot.

Namba Tri Rot

Olsem wanem sapos marit bilong yu i gat hevi na yu tingting long divos? Dispela atikol i bin kamapim sampela gutpela as we inap kirapim yu long skelim gen dispela samting. Divos i no inap stretim olgeta hevi bilong marit.

Tasol i no olsem yu mas karim tasol hevi bilong marit i no stap gut. I gat namba tri rot​​—⁠Sapos marit bilong yu i gat hevi, i gutpela yu wok strong long mekim marit bilong yu i kamap gutpela. No ken hariap long ting olsem ol hevi insait long marit bilong yu bai stap olsem tasol. Askim yu yet:

◼ ‘Wanem ol pasin bilong poroman bilong mi i bin pulim mi long laikim em? Ating em i holim yet ol dispela gutpela pasin, a?’​​—⁠Sindaun 31:​10, 29.

◼ ‘Olsem wanem? Mi inap kisim gen ol dispela filings mi bin i gat long em paslain long mi maritim em?’​​—⁠Song Bilong Solomon 2:2; 4:⁠7.

◼ ‘Maski poroman bilong mi i bin mekim wanem kain pasin, mi inap mekim wanem bilong bihainim ol tok i stap long pes 3 i go inap long pes 9 bilong dispela magasin?’​​—⁠Rom 12:⁠18.

◼ ‘Olsem wanem? Mi inap kamapim gut long poroman bilong mi (toktok stret wantaim em o raitim long pepa) ol samting em mi laik bai mipela i stretim long marit bilong mipela?’​​—⁠Jop 10:⁠1.

◼ ‘Olsem wanem? Mitupela inap sindaun wantaim wanpela pren husat i ken helpim mipela long putim ol mak em mipela inap bihainim bilong helpim marit bilong mipela long wok gut?’​​—⁠Sindaun 27:⁠17.

Baibel i tok: “Man i gat gutpela tingting, em i save was gut long ol pasin em i mekim.” (Sindaun 14:15) Dispela stiatok i stret long taim wanpela i laik makim poroman bilong maritim, na tu, long taim wanpela i tingting long ol samting em inap mekim bilong helpim marit bilong em. Olsem tok i stap long pes 9 bilong dispela magasin i kamapim, ol famili i stap gut, ol tu i gat ol hevi​​—⁠tasol samting i helpim ol em pasin bilong ol long stretim hevi.

Yumi ken tok piksa olsem: Tingim olsem yu kalap long ka bilong i go long wanpela longwe ples. Yu bai bungim ol hevi long rot, olsem bikpela ren, planti tumas ka i pas pas long rot, na ol rot blok. Na ating sampela taim yu bai paul long rot. Bai yu mekim wanem? Bai yu tanim i go bek o painim rot bilong winim ol hevi na ron yet i go? Long de yu marit, yu kirap long wanpela raun em yu save yu bai bungim ol hevi long en. Baibel i tok: “Ol manmeri i marit bai i painim planti hevi long laip bilong ol.” (1 Korin 7:​28) Ol hevi bai kamap, olsem na yu mas tingim olsem wanem yu bai karim ol dispela hevi taim ol i kamap. Olsem wanem? Yu inap painim rot bilong winim ol dispela hevi na stap yet wantaim poroman bilong yu? Maski sapos yu pilim olsem marit bilong yu i bagarap olgeta, bai yu traim long kisim helpim?​​—⁠Jems 5:​14.

God i As Bilong Marit

Marit em samting God i putim, olsem na em i bikpela samting. (Stat 2:​24) Taim yu pilim olsem ol hevi i bikpela tumas, tingim ol poin dispela stori i kamapim.

1. Traim long kisim gen dispela pasin bilong laikim em, em yu bin pilim long pastaim.​​—⁠Song Bilong Solomon 8:⁠6.

2. Wokim tingting long ol samting yu inap mekim bilong helpim marit bilong yu long kamap gutpela, na mekim dispela samting.​​—⁠Jems 1:​22.

3. Long pasin rispek, kamapim klia long poroman bilong yu​​—⁠toktok stret wantaim em o raitim long pepa​​—⁠wanem ol samting yu pilim olsem yupela i mas stretim long marit bilong yupela.​​—⁠Jop 7:​11.

4. Kisim helpim. I no olsem yu wanpela tasol i mas mekim ol samting bilong helpim marit bilong yupela !

[Ol Futnot]

[Blok/Piksa long pes 19]

‘NUPELA MARIT BILONG MI BAI WOK GUT’

Ol ripot i kamapim olsem namba bilong ol lain i marit namba tu taim na marit i bruk, i winim namba bilong ol lain i stap yet long namba wan marit, na ol lain i marit namba tri taim na marit i bruk, namba bilong ol i antap moa. Long buk bilong em (Emotional Infidelity), M. Gary Neuman i kolim wanpela as bilong dispela. Em i tok: “Sapos yu gat ol hevi insait long namba wan marit bilong yu, dispela i no makim olsem yu no bin makim gut poroman bilong maritim, nogat. Em yu yet. Yu bin laikim dispela poroman. Yu bin wok wantaim dispela poroman long kamapim ol samting nau yu gat o yu no gat.” Neuman i tok: “Mobeta yu rausim hevi na stap yet wantaim poroman, no ken rausim poroman na stap yet wantaim hevi.”

[Blok long pes 21]

SAPOS MARIT I BRUK

Baibel i tok bikpela hevi inap mekim na marit i bruk.c Sapos dispela samting i kamap long famili bilong yu, olsem wanem yu inap helpim ol tineja pikinini bilong yu long karim dispela hevi?

Tokim tineja pikinini bilong yu long samting i wok long kamap. Sapos inap, papa wantaim mama i mas mekim olsem. Yutupela wantaim i mas tokim pikinini long disisen bilong yutupela long divos. Kamapim klia long pikinini olsem em i no asua bilong em na yutupela i divos, na tokim em olsem yutupela i laikim em yet.

Lusim pasin bilong kros pait. Sampela papamama i save kros pait yet maski ol i bin divos inap longtaim pinis. Olsem wanpela saveman i tok, “kotpepa i tok ol i divos, tasol long bel na tingting bilong ol, ol i stap yet olsem tupela marit i save kros pait yet na ol i no inap painim rot long kamap wanbel.” Dispela inap mekim na ol tineja i stap longwe long papamama bilong ol, long wanem, oltaim Papa na Mama i save kros pait. Na tu, dispela inap mekim na ol i kirapim papa na mama long kros long narapela narapela bambai ol inap kisim samting ol i laikim. Olsem: Ating pikinini man bai tokim mama bilong em olsem: “Papa i save larim mi kam leit long haus. Wai na yu no larim mi kam leit?” Mama i no laik bai pikinini i go long sait bilong “birua” bilong em, olsem na em i larim pikinini i kam leit.

Larim tineja pikinini bilong yu i toktok. Ating pikinini inap tingting, ‘Sapos papamama bilong mi i no laikim moa ol yet, ating bai ol i no laikim mi tu’ o ‘Sapos papamama bilong mi i brukim ol lo, bilong wanem na mi no inap mekim olsem?’ Bilong daunim wari bilong pikinini na stretim tingting kranki bilong em, larim em i autim gut tingting bilong em. Tasol tingim: Yu no ken givim wok bilong yu i go long em na go long em bilong kisim helpim. Em i pikinini bilong yu, em i no wanpela pren bilong harim bel hevi bilong yu.

Kirapim tineja long pas gut wantaim poroman marit bilong yu long bipo. Dispela man o meri em yu bin divosim, em i no stap moa olsem poroman marit bilong yu, tasol em i stap yet olsem papa o mama bilong pikinini bilong yu. Sapos yu toknogutim poroman bilong bipo, dispela bai nogutim pikinini. Buk Teens in Turmoil​​—⁠A Path to Change for Parents, Adolescents, and Their Families i tok: “Sapos papamama i yusim ol pikinini bilong helpim ol yet long taim ol i divos, orait ol i mas redi long karim kaikai nogut bilong dispela samting.”

Lukautim yu yet. Sampela taim yu bai pilim olsem hevi i daunim yu. Tasol yu no ken givap. Yu mas bihainim yet gutpela sediul. Sapos yu wanpela Kristen, yu mas insait yet long ol wok Kristen. Dispela bai helpim yu na pikinini bilong yu long holim yet stretpela tingting.​​—⁠Song 18:2; Matyu 28:​19, 20; Hibru 10:​24, 25.

[Futnot]

[Piksa long pes 20]

Wok strong long bihainim tok promis yu bin mekim long de yu bin marit

[Piksa long pes 21]

Sapos yutupela i senis senis long lukautim pikinini, orait kirapim pikinini long pas gut wantaim poroman marit bilong yu long bipo