QUESTIONS WEY YOUNG PEOPLE DE ASK
Friendship or Relationship?—Part 2: Wetin I De Make the Other Person De Think?
You like to always dey there for your friends when them need person to talk to. And for some time now, e get this particular friend wey you de talk to well-well. The problem be say, the person no be the same sex with you. You fit de tell yourself say ‘We be just friends,’ and de think say na so the other person de feel about you. E suppose make you worry?
Wetin fit happen
E no bad to get friends wey no be the same sex with you. But what if the way your friendship be with one particular person tight pass other people? If na so, that person fit de feel say wetin you de find pass just friendship.
No be the way you really want make the person de feel? See some ways Wey you fit make the person feel like that even when you no know.
When you de show say you care for the person too much.
“Even though you no fit control how person de feel about you, e no go good make you de call and de talk to-am everytime and de say una just be friends. This one fit make matter worse.”—Sierra.
When you de always reply person message.
“One girl de always send me message, no be me de start-am, but anytime wey e send me message, I de always reply-am. Later, e come hard me to explain to-am say l just de see-am as friend.”—Richard.
You de make other people give you too much attention.
“Some people think say to de date different people the same time na game. Them de play with other people feelings and them no want enter serious relationship. I don see-am happen many times and for the end one person de always dey sad.”—Tamara.
The main point: To de always talk with person and show-am care, fit make the person feel say you like-am.
Why e dey important
E go make the other person feel bad.
Bible talk say: “The heart de sick when person never get wetin e de expect.” (Proverbs 13:12) Wetin you go de expect if person de always do something like say e like you?
“E get this word wey people de talk say, ‘make una just dey, but no tell-am say you love-am.’ This one just be like say you catch fish with hook, you no remove-am from the hook, and you no put-am back for the water. You just allow-am de suffer for the hook. Na so e just be if you no want enter relationship with person but you de make the person feel like that. You go make that person feel pain for heart.”—Jessica.
This one fit spoil your name.
Bible talk say: “Make una no de look for wetin go benefit only unaself, but wetin go still benefit other people.” (Philippians 2:4) How you go describe person wey de think about only imself? How that one fit spoil the person name?
“I no like any boy wey de follow different-different girls, and this one fit be sign say e no go dey faithful to me when we marry. Na only person wey de think of only imself de use other people to make imself important.”—Julia.
The main point: People wey de show say them like person, but no get plan to enter relationship with that person, de wound other people—and even theirself.
Wetin you fit do
Bible talk say make you de treat “young men like say them be your brothers” and “young women like say them be your sisters, and de do-am with complete clean heart.” (1 Timothy 5:1, 2) If you follow this advice for Bible, e go protect the friendship wey you and person wey no be the same sex get with each other.
“If to say I don marry, I no go date another person husband. Now wey l dey single, if l de treat men as brothers e go help me.”—Leah.
Bible talk say: “When person too talk, e no go fit run from mistake.” (Proverbs 10:19) No be only when we de talk this one concern, but e still concern when we de send text message—even the amount of time wey we de use and the kind message wey we de send.
“E no really make sense to de send text message to girl everyday, unless you de plan to date-am.”—Brian.
Bible talk say: “The sense wey come from God de first make person clean.” (James 3:17) Person fit hug person with clean mind—or e fit do-am as sign to let the other person know say e love-am and go like make them enter relationship.
“I de try make the way I de talk with people no pass friends own and I no de like too near them—both when we de talk face-to-face and for my mind.”—Maria.
The main point: De really check the way you and the person wey una no be the same sex de behave. One young girl wey im name na Jennifer talk say, “Good friends de hard to see and when you get them you no go like make them sad with the things wey you de talk and do.”
See wetin you fit do
Listen to wetin other people de talk. If person ask you say, “You and this person de date?” this one show say you and the person don too close.
De play with all your friends wey una no be the same sex the same way. No give one particular person special attention.
Dey careful with how you de send text message—this one concern the amount of time wey you de send the message, wetin you de talk for the message and the time of the day wey you de send the message. One girl wey im name na Alyssa talk say, “You no need to de send text message to person wey una no be the same sex for midnight.”