He Koʼe ʼe Tonu Ke Tekeʼi Te Perfectionnisme?
ʼE koutou faiga tuʼumaʼu koa ke koutou fai te meʼa ʼaē ʼe lelei? ʼE mahino ia, kapau ʼe koutou fai feiā, pea ʼe fua lelei anai ʼi hona ʼu ʼaluʼaga kehekehe, kia koutou pea mo te hahaʼi ʼaē ʼi ʼokotou tafa. ʼI te tahi faʼahi, ko ʼihi ʼe nātou faiga ke lelei fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe nātou fai, ʼo nātou liliu ai ko te kau perfectionnistes. Koteā tona faka ʼuhiga?
KO TE tahi faka ʼuhiga ʼo te kupu “perfectionnisme,” ʼe “ko hakita fakafisi ki te meʼa fuli ʼaē ʼe mole lelei tona fai.” Kua lagi koutou felāveʼi mo he ʼu hahaʼi feiā, ʼe faigataʼa fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe nātou fakamaʼua ki te hahaʼi, ʼo tupu ai he ʼu fihifihia, mo he loto ʼita pea mo he lotovaivai. Ko te tokolahi ʼo te hahaʼi ʼaē ʼe nātou fakapotopoto, ʼe nātou ʼiloʼi ʼe mole faʼa lelei te loto ʼaē ke lelei fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe tonu ke kita fai, heʼe mole fakapotopoto te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe kita fakamaʼua ki te hahaʼi. ʼE tonu ke kita tekeʼi te taʼi aga ʼaia. Kae ʼe lava faigataʼa mo kapau ko kita totonu ʼaē ʼe kita maʼu te taʼi manatu ʼaia, pea ʼe mole faigafua hona tekeʼi.
ʼE maʼuhiga te gāue ʼa Nelson, pea ʼe lahi te ʼu fihifihia ʼaē ʼe tonu ke ina fakatokatoka. ʼE ina vakaʼi tuʼumaʼu te ʼu faʼahiga fai ʼo tana gāue, pea ʼe maʼuhiga ʼaupito kia ia te gāue ʼaē ʼe fai fakaleleiʼi. ʼI te agamāhani, ʼe ʼui ʼe maʼuhiga te perfectionnisme ʼi te fakataupiepie ki te gāue. Logola ko ʼihi ʼe nātou leleiʼia te gāue lelei ʼa Nelson, kae ko tana loto ʼaē ke lelei fau tana gāue neʼe tupu ʼaki ai tona ʼu mahaki, ohage ko te mamahi ʼulu pea mo te hoha ʼo tona ʼatamai. ʼE koutou hage koa ko Nelson?
ʼE toe maʼu e te kau tūpulaga te taʼi aga ʼaia. ʼI tana kei veliveli, ko Rita ʼaē ʼe nofo ʼi Rio de Janeiro, neʼe ina leleiʼia te ako. Neʼe faiga ke mole hage ʼe fia māʼoluga ake ʼi ʼihi, kae neʼe lotomamahi mo kapau ʼe mole ina maʼu te ʼu nota ʼaē ʼe lelei ʼosi. ʼE ʼui fēnei e Rita: “ ʼI taku kei veliveli, neʼe ʼau fakatokagaʼi ko te tahi ʼu tamaliki ako neʼe lahi tonatou temi, kae neʼe ʼau hoha tuʼumaʼu pea mo feʼohoʼaki tuʼumaʼu moʼo fai te ʼu gāue. Neʼe hage maʼaku, ʼe mole hoku temi mālōlō, he neʼe ʼi ai tuʼumaʼu te ʼu meʼa neʼe tonu ke ʼau fai.”
ʼI tana kei veliveli, neʼe tagi Malia he neʼe lotomamahi ʼi tana mole lava pena lelei ohage ko ʼihi. Tahi ʼaē meʼa, ʼi tana loto ʼaē ke lelei ʼaupito tana ako te musika, neʼe tau hoha ai pea mo loto tuʼania, kae mole fiafia ʼi tana fai musika pea mo tana fai hiva. Ko te tahi taʼahine Pelesile, ko Tânia, neʼe faiga ke fakapotopoto pea ke mole fakataupiepie, pea neʼe ina ʼui fēnei, ʼe lahi fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe ina fakamaʼua kia ia, ʼi te faleako pea mo tona ʼapi. Neʼe hage kia ia, ʼe mole ʼofainaʼi lahi anai e te hahaʼi, mo kapau ʼe mole lelei ʼosi tana gāue. Tahi ʼaē meʼa, ʼi ʼihi temi neʼe lagi faigataʼa fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē neʼe fakamaʼua e Tânia ki ʼihi, pea neʼe lotomamahi ai mokā mole nātou fai ohage ko te meʼa ʼaē neʼe loto kiai.
Logola ʼe maʼuhiga tokita poto, takita gāue vave, pea mo takita fiafia ʼi takita gāue lelei, kae kapau ʼe faigataʼa fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe kita fakamaʼua kiai, pea ʼe feala ai hakita lotomamahi, mo hakita tuʼania naʼa mole lava takita fakatuʼutuʼu. ʼE lagi fakaʼamu e te ʼu mātuʼa pe ko ʼihi hahaʼi, ke gāue lelei ʼosi te kau tūpulaga ʼi te faleako peʼe ʼi te faigaoʼi, kae ʼe lagi faigataʼa fau te ʼu fakaʼamu ʼaia maʼa te kau tūpulaga. Ohage la, ko te faʼe ʼa Ricardo, neʼe lahi fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē neʼe ina fakaʼamu maʼa tana tama, he neʼe ina loto ke tōketā, ke faiva ʼi te lomi piano, pea ke poto ʼi te palalau ʼi he ʼu tuʼuga lea. ʼI takotou manatu, ko te ʼu fakaʼamu lahi ʼaia, ʼe mole ina fakatupu anai koa he ʼu fihifihia pea mo fakatupu lotomamahi?
He Koʼe ʼe Tonu Ke Tou Tekeʼi Te Perfectionnisme?
Ko te ʼu patolo ʼe nātou kumi te ʼu hahaʼi gāue ʼaē ʼe nātou lava fai he gāue lelei, mo totonu. Koia ʼe fakataupiepie ai te hahaʼi ʼi te gāue. Ko te tahi faʼahi ʼaē ʼe tupu ai te gāue kinakina ʼa te hahaʼi, ʼe ko tanatou tuʼania ʼaē naʼa mole kei ʼi ai hanatou gāue. Ko ʼihi kau gāue ʼe nātou liliu ohage ko te tagata lele ʼaē ʼe faiga mālohi ke toe laka atu tona faiva lele. Kae kapau ʼe kau ki he lele faigataʼa, pea ʼe lagi toe faigaoʼi lahi anai, ʼo lagi ina fakaʼaogaʼi he ʼu foʼi ʼakau moʼo hikihiki tana lele, pea mo tana fealagia ʼaē ke mālo ʼi te lele ʼaia. Ko te perfectionnisme ʼe ina fetogi te faiga lelei ʼa te hahaʼi ki te meʼa ʼaē ʼe lelei, kae ʼe ina uga nātou ke nātou “fai he meʼa ʼaki te tuʼania ʼaē naʼa mole hoko,” peʼe “ina uga ai nātou ke nātou fia tuʼulaga ʼuluaki.”—The Feeling Good Handbook.
Ei, ko ʼihi ʼe nātou manatu, ʼe feala tuʼumaʼu ke nātou toe hikihiki tanatou ako pe ko tanatou faigaoʼi. Kae ʼe ʼui fēnei e te tōketā ko Robert S. Eliot, “ko te perfectionnisme, ʼe ko he meʼa ʼe kita fakaʼamu kiai, kae ʼe mole lava hoko ʼi he temi.” ʼE ina toe ʼui fēnei: “ ʼE tupu ʼaki ai hakita lotomamahi, he mole lava te puipui ʼo kita, pea mo hakita mataku naʼa kita lainoa.” Koia ʼe moʼoni ai te ʼu palalau ʼaenī ʼo te Hau poto ko Salomone: “Neʼe ʼau sio tonu ki te gāue kinakina fuli pea mo te faiva fuli ʼi te gāue, ʼe ko te fefihiʼaki ʼa he tahi mo he tahi kehe; ʼo toe feiā pe ʼe vaʼiganoa pea ʼe ko he tuli matagi ia.”—Tagata Tānaki 4:4.
Koteā ʼaē ʼe feala ke koutou fai mo kapau ʼe koutou loto ke lelei fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe koutou fai? ʼE moʼoni koa te ʼui ʼaē, mo kapau ʼe koutou faiga lahi, pea ʼe lahi anai takotou lotomamahi? ʼE koutou fia aga faigafua koa, ʼo mole koutou fakamaʼua he ʼu meʼa faigataʼa fau ki ʼihi? Koteā tona faka ʼuhiga ke kita haohaoa? ʼE mole koutou holi koa la ke koutou fakaʼaogaʼi katoa takotou ʼu fealagia, ka mole koutou faiga ke lelei fau te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe koutou fai? Kapau ʼe feala ki he ʼu tagata heʼe haohaoa ke nātou fakaʼaogaʼi te ʼu fealagia ʼaē neʼe tuku age e te ʼAtua moʼo kumi te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ʼe ʼaoga ki te hahaʼi, koutou fakakaukauʼi age muʼa te ʼu meʼa ʼaē ka lava fakahoko anai e te tagata mokā ina maʼu anai te maʼuli haohaoa pea mokā ina tuku anai ke takitaki ia ia e te ʼAtua!
[Paki ʼo te pasina 4]
ʼE lagi fakamaʼua e te ʼu mātuʼa pe ko ʼihi hahaʼi, ke gāue lelei ʼosi te kau tūpulaga kae ʼe mole feala