Japta 5
?Bambae Mi Mekem Wanem Sipos Papa (No Mama) Blong Mi i Mared Bakegen Wetem Narafala?
Shane i talem se: “Dei we papa blong mi i mared long Rita, i nogud moa i bitim ol narafala dei long laef blong mi. Mi mi kros tumas. Mi kros long papa blong mi from we hem i no stap tru long mama blong mi. Mi kros long mama blong mi from we hem i lego mifala, i go mekem wan kos blong lanem loa. Mi kros long tufala smol rat ya blong Rita, from we bambae tufala i kam stap wetem mifala long haos . . . Be, mi mi kros moa long Rita . . . Mi no laekem hem nating. Mi save se i no stret blong agensem narafala olsem, taswe, mi kros long mi wan bakegen.”—Stepfamilies—New Patterns in Harmony, we Linda Craven i raetem.
TAEM papa no mama blong yu i mared bakegen wetem wan narafala, samting ya i save spolem fulwan, tingting we yu yu gat se maet wan dei tufala i joengud bakegen. Yu yu save harem se yu no moa stap sef, mo se tufala i giaman long yu, mo yu yu save jalus tu.
Yu yu save harem nogud moa sipos tufala i mared smoltaem nomo afta we papa no mama blong yu i ded. Missy, wan gel we i gat 16 yia, i talem se: “Taem mama blong mi i ded, mi mi kam kros tumas. Mi mi ting se woman ya we papa blong mi bambae i maredem, hem i kam blong tekem ples blong mama blong mi. From samting ya, mi mi no kaen nating long hem.” Maet yu harem se i no stret nating blong yu laekem niufala papa no mama blong yu, from we yu no wantem spolem stret papa no mama blong yu we i no moa stap wetem yufala.
Yumi no sapraes se plante yangfala we oli gat ol filing olsem, oli save kam stronghed. Sam long olgeta oli mekem plan blong spolem niufala mared blong papa no mama blong olgeta. Be yu mas tingbaot se, papa no mama blong yu we i mared bakegen wetem narafala, i mekem wan promes long fes blong God. “Mo from we God i joenem tufala olsem, man [mo pikinini tu] i no mas brekem mared blong tufala.” (Matiu 19:6) Sipos yu spolem mared blong tufala, be samting ya i no save mekem stret papa mo mama blong yu i kam tugeta bakegen.
Mo tu, i no waes nating blong raorao wetem niufala papa no mama blong yu. Ol Proveb 11:29 (New International Version) i givim woning ya se: “Man we i pulum trabol i kam long famle blong hem, bambae i kasem win nomo.” Hemia i min se bambae hem i lusum olgeta samting we hem i gat. Gerri, wan gel we i gat 15 yia, i kros tumas long niufala woman we papa blong hem i tekem, ale wan bigfala rao i kamaot. ?Wanem i hapen biaen? Woman ya i talem long papa blong Gerri se hem i mas jus: se hem i wantem hem no hem i wantem gel blong hem. Ale, Gerri i muvaot long haos i go stap bakegen wetem stret mama blong hem—we hem tu i mared bakegen long wan narafala man.
Lav i Save Givhan Long Yu
?Wanem samting i save givhan long yu blong winim ol filing blong yu long saed blong niufala mared blong papa no mama blong yu? Yu mas soemaot lav we i stap stanap long ol stret rul, olsem 1 Korin 13:4-8 i tokbaot:
Man we i gat lav ‘hem i no save tingbaot hem nomo.’ Samting ya i minim se ‘hem i no stap lukaot rod we i save givhan long hem nomo. Be hem i stap lukaot rod we i save givhan long ol narafala man.’ (1 Korin 10:24) ?Sipos papa no mama blong yu i tingting se hem i mas mared bakegen blong gat wan blong storian wetem hem mo joen oltaem wetem hem, i stret we yu yu kros from?
Man we i gat lav “hem i no save jalus.” Plante yangfala oli wantem se papa no mama we i stap wetem olgeta, hem i mas laekem olgeta nomo, hem i no mas serem lav blong hem wetem narafala. Be yu no mas ting se papa no mama blong yu i no save gat naf lav blong serem long yufala evriwan, from we lav i save gru. (Skelem wetem 2 Korin 6:11-13.) !Stret papa no mama blong yu i save mekem lav blong hem i kam bigwan moa blong laekem niufala woman no man blong hem, be bambae hem i laekem yu sem mak nomo! ?Yu tu yu rere blong mekem lav blong yu i kam bigwan moa blong laekem niufala papa no mama blong yu? Sipos yu mekem olsem, i no minim se yu tanem baksaed long stret papa no mama blong yu we i no moa stap wetem yufala. No gat.
Man we i gat lav “hem i no save mekem ol fasin we oli no soem respek.” (NW) Yu save fesem sam traem taem ol yangfala blong niufala papa no mama ya oli kam stap long haos. Wan ripot i soem se nogud fasin blong seks i stap kamaot long 25 pesen blong ol famle we sam pikinini oli blong narafala mama no papa.
Taem mama blong David i mared bakegen long wan narafala man, fo gel blong man ya oli kam stap long haos. David i talem se: “Mi mi mas blokemgud ol tingting blong mi long saed blong seks.” Yu mas lukaotgud tu, blong yu no fren wetem olgeta long fasin we i no stret. Meksua se klos mo fasin blong yu oli no pulum filing blong olgeta long saed blong seks.—Kolosi 3:5.
Man we i gat lav “i no gat wan samting i save daonem tingting blong hem . . . Lav i givim paoa long hem blong winim enikaen trabol.” (Charles B. Williams) !Maet sam samtaem yu harem se yu no save winim ol nogud filing blong yu! Marla i talem klia se: “Mi mi harem se mi nating nomo long haos. Mi talem long mama blong mi se i moa gud sipos mi mi neva bon.” !Marla i mekem stronghed, i girap i ronwe long haos! Be naoia, hem i talem se: “Beswan samting blong mekem, i blong stanap strong mo traem winim trabol we i kamaot.” Sipos yu stanap strong olsem, bambae yu luk se ol filing blong kros oli godaon, tingting blong yu bambae i no moa fasfas, mo soasore we yu harem fastaem, i lus.
‘!Yu Yu No Stret Mama (No Papa) Blong Mi!’
I hadwok blong harem ol tok blong wan niufala papa no mama. Taem hem i askem yu blong mekem wan samting, ating yu wantem singaot strong long hem se: ‘!Yu yu no stret mama (no papa) blong mi!’ Be tingbaot tok we i stap long 1 Korin 14:20, se: “Yufala i mas kam bigman long tingting blong yufala.”—The Holy Bible in the Language of Today, we William Beck i raetem.
Sipos yu lesin taem niufala papa no mama blong yu i tok long yu mo i stretem yu, yu stap soem se yu yu ‘kam bigman finis long tingting blong yu.’ Naoia, hem i stap mekem wok blong papa no mama blong yu, taswe i stret we yu yu gat respek long hem. (Ol Proveb 1:8; Efesas 6:1-4) Baebol i tokbaot gel ya Esta, we stret papa mama blong hem oli ded. Nao wan man, nem blong hem Modekae, i “adoptem” Esta blong i lukaot long hem. !Nating se Modekae i no stret papa blong Esta, be hem “i stap obei” long Modekae! Taem Esta i bigwan finis, hem i gohed yet blong obei long ol tok ya blong hem. (Esta 2:7, 15, 17, 20) Yes, taem niufala papa no mama blong yu i stretem yu, hem i stap traem blong soemaot lav long yu mo soemaot se hem i kea long yu.—Ol Proveb 13:24.
Nating se i olsem, sam samtaem hem i save talem no mekem samting we i no stret. Long taem olsem, traem soemaot se yu yu ‘kam bigman finis.’ Traem folem tok blong Kolosi 3:13 we i talem se: “Yufala i mas givgivhan long yufala, mo taem wan long yufala i gat sam poen agens long narawan, tufala ya i mas fofogivim tufala.”
Lanem Blong Serem Ol Samting, Mo Lego Prapa Tingting Blong Yu
Fastaem, gel ya Jamie we i gat 15 yia, i stap hem wan wetem mama blong hem, nao hem i gat prapa rum blong hem mo ol gudfala klos we oli sas. Be mama blong hem i mared bakegen, nao laef i jenis bigwan. Naoia, Jamie i stap long wan famle we i gat fo narafala pikinini long hem. Hem i harem nogud i se: “Naoia, mi mi no moa gat prapa rum blong mi. Mi mas serem evri samting wetem olgeta.”
Maet yu tu, naoia yu no moa stap olsem fasbon pikinini, no maet i gat plante moa pikinini, i no yu nomo. Sipos yu yu boe, ating yu bin stap olsem bos blong haos bifo—be naoia wan niufala papa i kam tekem ples blong yu. Sipos yu yu gel, ating yu mo mama blong yu, yutufala i bin stap olsem sista nomo, mo maet yutufala i bin slip long sem rum tu. Be naoia, wan niufala man i kam tekem ples blong yu.
Baebol i givim advaes ya se: “Yufala i mas soemaot long olgeta man, we yufala i kwaet man.” (Filipae 4:5) Long olfala hanraet, oli yusum wan tok long vas ya we i minim “lego prapa tingting blong yumi,” hemia i pulum yumi blong tingbaot wan man we i no strong blong kasem samting we hem i gat raet blong kasem. Taswe, traem lego prapa tingting blong yu, mo agri long samting we narafala i wantem. Traem lukaot ol gudfala saed blong niufala laef blong yu, mo traehad blong no tingbaot ol samting blong bifo. (Prija 7:10) Traem serem ol samting blong yu wetem ol niufala brata mo sista blong yu, mo no mekem long olgeta olsem we oli strenja. (1 Timoti 6:18) Sipos yu traehad blong mekem olsem we oli stret brata mo sista blong yu, bambae yu luk we filing blong yufala blong laeklaekem yufala i kam antap kwiktaem. Mo long saed blong niufala man we i bos long haos, yu no mas kros long hem. Yu mas glad we hem i stap blong givhan long ol wok long famle.
Sipos Oli Mekem i Defren Long Yu
Wan gel i agri se niufala man we mama blong hem i maredem, i stap soemaot lav long hem, be hem i talem se: “Hem i defren long stret papa blong mi. Hem i wantem se mifala i mas mekem moa wok, hem i stretem mifala moa, mo hem i no kasem save long filing blong mifala . . . hem i mekem i moagud long ol stret pikinini blong hem we oli gat sem yia olsem mifala. Hemia nao samting we mifala i no laekem.”
Yu mas save se wan narafala man no woman i no save gat sem filing long yu olsem we hem i gat long ol stret pikinini blong hem. Hemia i no from we yufala i no stret pikinini blong hem, be from we hem i no bin stap wetem yufala longtaem olsem we hem i bin stap wetem ol stret pikinini blong hem. Sam stret papa mo mama tu oli save laekem wan pikinini blong olgeta moa, i winim ol narafala pikinini. (Jenesis 37:3) Fasin ya blong mekem i sem mak long olgeta pikinini i defren long fasin blong mekem i stret long olgeta pikinini. Yumi evriwan i gat ol prapa fasin blong yumi we oli defdefren, mo yumi evriwan i nidim ol defdefren samting. Taswe yu no mas wari tumas sipos niufala man no woman long haos i no mekem i sem mak long yufala evriwan, i moagud blong traem luk sipos hem i stap traehad blong givim ol samting we yufala wanwan i nidim. Sipos yu harem se hem i no mekem olsem, yu save toktok wetem hem.
Ating ol pikinini blong niufala man no woman we i kam stap long haos, oli save mekem yu yu kros. Yu no mas fogetem se maet olgeta tu oli stap faenem i had blong joen long niufala famle ya. Maet oli no glad long yu tu, from se yu yu kam joen long famle blong olgeta. Taswe, traehad blong soemaot kaen fasin. Sipos oli no wantem joen wetem yu, traem ‘holemstrong ol stret fasin, blong winim ol rabis fasin.’ (Rom 12:21) Mo traem tingbaot, sam samtaem ol stret brata mo sista tu oli save raorao.—Lukluk Japta 6.
Longfala Tingting i Save Karem Frut
“Taem man i statem wan wok, hem i save glad long hem, be taem hem i finisim, bambae i save harem gud moa. Mo man we i gat longfala tingting, hem i moa gud, i winim man we i stap flas.” (Prija 7:8) Maet i nidim we plante yia i pas bifo we yu yu save trastemgud niufala papa no mama blong yu mo ol stret pikinini blong hem, mo bifo we yu save haremgud blong stap wetem olgeta. Ating long taem ya nomo, bambae yufala i joejoenem ol defdefren fasin mo tingting blong yufala, blong yufala i save wokgud wanples. !Taswe yu mas gat longfala tingting! Yu no mas ting se yufala i save joen olsem wan famle “wantaem nomo,” mo se bambae yufala i laeklaekem yufala “wantaem nomo.”
Mama blong Thomas i mared bakegen, ale Thomas i harem nogud. Mama blong hem i gat fo pikinini finis, mo man we hem i tekem, i gat tri pikinini bakegen. Thomas i raetem se: “I gat faet, rao, trabol nomo. Mifala i harem nogud tumas long filing blong mifala.” ?Wanem i givhan long olgeta blong winim trabol ya? “Mifala i folem ol rul blong Baebol, nao ol samting oli kamgud. Oli no kamgud wantaem nomo, be sloslou mifala i traehad blong soemaot ol frut blong tabu spirit blong God, nao mifala i winim ol trabol ya.”—Galesia 5:22, 23.
Yes, sipos ol famle we oli gat defren papa no defren mama oli folem ol rul blong Baebol, oli save gat wan gudfala laef tugeta. Samting ya i kamaot long ol yangfala we mifala i askem kwestin long olgeta:
Ol Yangfala We Oli Haremgud Blong Stap Wetem Niufala Papa No Mama
Man blong askem kwestin: ?Yu yu mekem wanem blong no kam kros taem niufala papa blong yu i stretem yu?
Lynch: Mama blong mi mo niufala man we hem i tekem, oltaem tufala i gat wan tingting nomo taem tufala i stretem mifala. Taem mi mi mekem wan trabol, tufala i toktok tugeta fastaem. Nao sipos wan long tufala i wipim mi, mi mi save se tufala tugeta i agri long samting ya.
Linda: Fastaem, mi mi faenem i had tumas, mi stap talem se, “!Yu yu no gat raet blong tok long mi olsemia!” Be biaen, mi tingbaot tok blong Baebol se: ‘Ona long papa mo mama blong yu.’ Nating se hem i no stret papa blong mi, be long tingting blong God hem i papa blong mi.
Robin: Mi mi save se mama blong mi bambae i harem nogud tumas sipos mi mi agensem man ya we hem i laekem.
Man blong askem kwestin: ?Wanem samting i givhan long yufala blong toktokgud tugeta?
Lynch: Yu mas intres long ol samting we niufala papa blong yu i stap mekem. Mi mi halpem hem long ol wok blong hem. Taem mitufala i stap wok, mitufala i storian tu. Samting ya i givhan long mi blong save ol tingting blong hem. Sam samtaem, mitufala i sidaon tugeta, ale mitufala i jes tokbaot enikaen samting nomo.
Valerie: Mi mi pasem plante taem wetem niufala mama blong mi, nao mi mi kasem save long tingting blong hem. Mitufala i kam bes fren.
Robin: Stret papa blong mi i ded jes wan yia bifo we mama blong mi i tekem wan narafala man. Mi mi no wantem fren nating wetem niufala man ya, mi no wantem se hem i tekem ples blong stret papa blong mi. Ale, mi mi prea long God blong hem i halpem mi blong winim filing blong sore from we stret papa blong mi i ded, mo blong mi kam klosap moa long niufala papa blong mi. Mi prea we mi prea. Mo Jeova i rili ansa long prea blong mi.
Man blong askem kwestin: ?Yu yu mekem wanem blong frengud moa wetem hem?
Valerie: Sam samtaem mi askem niufala mama blong mi blong kam luk wan sinema wetem mi—mitufala nomo. Sam samtaem mi pem sam flaoa no wan presen blong hem, blong soem se mi stap tingbaot hem. Hem i rili glad long samting ya.
Eric: Yu mas faenem wan samting we yutufala tugeta i haremgud long hem. Fastaem, samting ya nomo we mi mo niufala papa blong mi i serem, hemia mama blong mi mo haos. Bigfala jenis i kamaot taem mi stat blong serem intres we hem i gat long Baebol. Moa mi kam klosap long Jeova God, moa mi kam klosap long niufala papa ya blong mi. !Naoia i gat wan samting we mitufala tugeta i laekem tumas!
Man blong askem kwestin: ?Yu yu kasem wanem blesing from?
Robin: Bifo, mi mi stap wetem stret mama blong mi nomo, ale mi stap kasem evri samting we mi mi wantem. Mi mi stronghed stret. Oltaem mi wantem mekem ol samting we mi nomo mi wantem. Naoia, mi lanem blong tingbaot narafala fastaem, mi no moa tingbaot mi wan nomo.
Lynch: Niufala papa blong mi i givhan long mi blong tingting olsem wan bigman. Hem i halpem mi blong save plante samting mo blong gat gudhan blong wok. Long trabol taem we mi nidim narafala blong givhan long mi, hem i stap. Yes, hem i beswan papa we wan yangfala i save gat.
Ol Kwestin Blong Tokbaot
◻ ?Plante yangfala oli harem olsem wanem taem stret papa no mama blong olgeta i mared bakegen? ?From wanem?
◻ ?Olsem wanem Kristin lav i save givhan long yangfala blong winim ol nogud filing?
◻ ?Yu yu mas obei taem niufala papa no mama blong yu i stretem yu?
◻ ?From wanem i impoten blong lanem blong lego prapa tingting blong yu mo serem ol samting?
◻ ?I stret blong ting se niufala papa no mama blong yu bambae i mekem long yu olsem we hem i mekem long ol stret pikinini blong hem? ?Yu yu mas mekem wanem sipos yu harem se hem i no stap mekem i stret long yu?
◻ ?Wanem sam samting we yu yu save mekem blong joengud wetem niufala papa no mama blong yu?
[Tok blong makem poen long pej 45]
“Mi mi ting se woman ya we papa blong mi bambae i maredem, hem i kam blong tekem ples blong mama blong mi. From samting ya, mi mi no kaen nating long hem”
[Tok blong pija long pej 43]
Taem papa no mama blong yu i mared bakegen wetem wan narafala man no woman, yu save harem se yu kros, yu no moa stap sefgud, mo yu jalus
[Tok blong pija long pej 46]
Plante taem, pikinini i no save harem tok blong niufala papa no mama we i stretem hem