Krisimasi Kodi Imakutayitsani Zoposa Zimene Mumaganizira?

“AMAYI, Atate—kodi Santa Claus alikodi?” Imeneyi ndinthaŵi yofunika kwambiri imene makolo ambiri amawopa. Nkhope yake ikumasonyeza kugwiritsidwa mwala ndi kupwetekedwa mtima, Jimmy wa zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri akupempha chitsimikizo chakuti munthu wongopekayo amene anabweretsa mphatso zabwino zonsezo alikodi—ndi chakuti makolo ake sanamnyengeze.

Chinachitika nchakuti, kamnyamata kena kapafupi ndiko kamene kanavumbula chowonadi chosakondweretsacho ndi kuika makolo ameneŵa mumkhalidwe wovuta umenewu. Mwinamwake zimene mumakumbukira ponena za ubwana wanu zimaphatikizapo chochitika chonga chimenechi.

Zikondwerero za maholide a lerolino sizili chabe mapwando achipembedzo. Kukuonekera kuti Krisimasi yakhala yovomerezedwa m’malo osayembekezereka. Abuddha a ku Japan, olambira mizimu a mu Afrika, Ayuda a ku America, ndipo ngakhale Asilamu a ku Singapore atsegulira njira mwamuna wovala suti yofiira woonekera kukhala wonenepa wonyamula mphatso. Mtsogoleri wina wachipembedzo anafunsa kuti, “Kodi Krisimasi sinakhale holide ya padziko lonse yosungidwa ndi onse?”

Kwa anthu ambiri, Krisimasi yataikiridwa mkhalidwe wake “Wachikristu” wa Kumadzulo nikhala nthaŵi yokondweretsa ya phwando losangalatsa onse. Kwakukulukulu ana ndiwo eni chikondwerero chimenechi. Anthu ena amanena kuti moyo wa mwana suli wokwanira popanda chikondwerero chachikulu cha holide imeneyi. Mwachionekere, iyo njachikhalire. Ndiyo maziko a maphunziro ndi zochita za pasukulu. TV imailemekeza. Timasitolo ndi masitolo aakulu amaigwiritsira ntchito kuitanira makasitomala. Makolo amawononga nthaŵi ndi ndalama zambiri pa Krisimasi. Koma kuwonjezera pa zotsatirapo zanthaŵi zonse za ngongole zosautsa, kodi pali zina zazikulu zimene banja lanu lingatayikiridwe?

Nthanthi ya Santa—Kodi Imawononga Kukhulupirika?

“Sindikhulupirira kuti Mulungu aliko,” John wa zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri anauza amayi ake. Nkhani ya mu World Herald ikufotokoza chifukwa chake kuti: “Kukuonekera kuti tsiku lomwelo John anali atadziŵa kuti Santa Claus sali weniweni. Mwinamwake ngakhale Mulungu sali weniweni, iye anauza amayi ake.” Akumakumbukira kugwiritsidwa mwala kwake pamene anali wachichepere, John wa zaka 25 anati: “Pamene makolo auza ana kuti Santa ali weniweni, ndimaganiza kuti mwina kumeneko nkuwononga kukhulupirika.”

Kodi nchiyani chimene chiyenera kuchitidwa pamkhalidwe wovuta umenewu? Akatswiri pa za ana samavomerezana. Wina analimbikitsa makolo kuuza ana awo chowonadi pofika zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi kapena zisanu ndi ziŵiri, akumachenjeza kuti “kungakhaledi kowononga maganizo awo ngati makolo aumirira kuchirikiza nthanthiyo.”

M’buku lakuti Why Kids Lie—How Parents Can Encourage Truthfulness, Dr. Paul Ekman akunena kuti: “Palibe chikayikiro chakuti inu monga makolo muli ndi chiyambukiro chachikulu pa ana anu ponena za mkhalidwe wamaganizo, zikhulupiriro, ndi machitachita a kakhalidwe ka anthu onga kunama kapena chinyengo.” Ekman akupitiriza kuti: “Maunansi sangakhalenso ofanana ngati bodza lawononga kukhulupirika. Kukhulupirika kutatayika nkovuta kukupezanso; nthaŵi zina sikumapezeka konse.” Chotero nkupitiriziranji kuchita chinyengo popereka mphatso paholide?

Wofufuza za ana wina ananena kuti: “Ndiganiza kuti ana amavutika kwambiri ndi makolo amene amawanamiza ndi kuwanyengeza kuposa mmene amavutikira pamene adziŵa kuti Santa Claus sali weniweni.” Dr. Judith A. Boss, profesa wa filosofi, akunena kuti: “Cholinga cha achikulire . . . ndicho kusocheretsa ana mwadala ponena za mkhalidwe wa Santa Claus. . . . Pouza ana kuti Santa Claus ali munthu weniweni, sitimaphunzitsa ana kuyerekezera. Timangowauza bodza.”

Ngati ndinu kholo, muli ndi ntchito yalikulu kwambiri—kulera ana achimwemwe ndi achikondi m’dziko limene amaphunzira kuchokera paubwana kuti anthu sangakhulupiriridwe. “Usamalankhula ndi anthu amene suwadziŵa.” “Sungakhulupirire zonse zimene zimanenedwa m’zotsatsa malonda za pa TV.” “Auze kuti Amayi palibe.” Kodi mwana angadziŵe motani munthu amene ayenera kukhulupirira? Buku lakuti How to Help Your Child Grow Up limati: “Ana aang’ono ayenera kuphunzira akali ana kufunika ndi ubwino wa kuwona mtima, kulimba mtima, kuchita mwaulemu ndi ena; ndipo zimenezi zimayambira panyumba.”

Ndithudi, palibe banja langwiro. Komabe, wolemba nkhani Dolores Curran anayamba kufufuza kuti apeze mikhalidwe ya mabanja olimba. Iye anapempha akatswiri 551 a zabanja a ntchito zosiyanasiyana kusankha mbali zofunika koposa. Zimene iye anapeza, analemba m’buku lakuti Traits of a Healthy Family, zimafotokoza mikhalidwe 15 yabwino koposa yosankhidwa ndi akatswiriwo. Mkhalidwe wachinayi unali “kuzindikira kufunika kwa kukhulupirika.” “M’banja labwino,” iye akutero, “kukhulupirika kumaonedwa kukhala chuma chamtengo wake, chokulitsidwa ndi kuyang’aniridwa mosamalitsa pamene ana ndi makolo omwe apyolera limodzi zigawo zosiyanasiyana za moyo wa banja.”

Makolo angachite bwino kufunsa kuti, ‘Kodi nkoyenera kutayikiridwa chidaliro ndi chikhulupiriro zimene mwana wanga ali nazo mwa ine chifukwa chabe chochirikiza nthanthi ya Santa?’ Mutatayikiridwa zimenezo mwina simungazipenso. Kodi pali zinthu zina zobisika zimene Krisimasi ingakutayitseni?

Kupatsa Kopambanitsa?

“Yambirani paukhanda kupatsa mwana zonse zimene afuna. Mwanjirayi adzakula akukhulupirira kuti dziko liri ndi thayo la kumchirikiza,” kamatero kabukhu kakuti 12 Rules for Raising Delinquent Children. Kugogomezera mopambanitsa zinthu zakuthupi kungakhaledi kowononga.

Wolemba nkhani yemwenso ndikholo Maureen Orth akufunsa kuti: “Kodi tingaphunzitse motani mikhalidwe yabwino ndi mtima wabwino m’dziko lathuli lokondetsa zinthu zakuthupi, m’mene kudzikhutiritsa ndi umbombo zimaoneka kukhala zikuthokozedwa kwambiri, kaŵirikaŵiri mosadziŵa?” M’nkhani yakuti “Mphatso ya Kusapatsa,” iye akudandaula kuti: “Mwana wathu wochita ngati mfumu amakhulupirira kuti mphatso nzamasiku onse—mofanana ndi kulandira makalata.” Kodi zimenezi nzimene Krisimasi iyenera kuphunzitsa?

Bwanji za mabanja amene sangathe konse kupeza mphatso zochuluka zosonyezedwa kukhala mphatso zofunika za Krisimasi? Kodi achichepere amenewo amaganiza bwanji pamene amva kuti Santa amabweretsa mphatso kwa ana abwino okha? Ndipo bwanji za achichepere m’mabanja osagwirizana amene nthaŵi ya holideyo imangowakumbutsa moŵaŵa mtima za kusagwirizana kwa m’mabanja awo?

“Kaŵirikaŵiri mbali yaikulu ya kamsonkhano ka holideyo ili ya kutsegula mphatso,” ikutero The New York Times. “Chigogomezero chimenecho chimapereka uthenga kwa ana wakuti mphatso ndizo cholinga cha msonkhano wabanja ndipo chimawatsegulira njira ya kugwiritsidwa mwala.”

Chikondi chilidi chisonkhezero chokhutiritsa cha kuchita chabwino. Glenn Austin, wolemba buku lakuti Love and Power: Parent and Child, akuti: “M’banja logwirizana mmene mwana amakonda ndi kulemekeza makolo, mwanayo angachite mwanjira yovomerezeka kukondweretsa kholo.” Mboni za Yehova zimagwira ntchito zolimba kukulitsa mkhalidwe wabwino wotero wa chikondi m’nyumba zawo. Ndiponso, ana a Mboni za Yehova amaleredwa mwanjira yakuti adziŵe ndi kukonda Yehova, Mulungu amene amamtumikira. Chimenecho nchisonkhezero champhamvu chotani nanga m’miyoyo yawo chochitira chabwino! Safunikira munthu wongopeka kuwasonkhezera kuchita ntchito zabwino.

Mboni za Yehova zimasamalira ana awo monga mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu. (Salmo 127:3) Chotero, mmalo moyembekezera masiku oikidwiratu operekera mphatso, makolo ameneŵa angapereke mphatso zimenezi chaka chonse. Panthaŵi yotero nkovuta kudziŵa amene ali ndi chikondwerero chachikulu—mwana wopatsidwa mphatso yosayembekezerayo kapena kholo lake lachimwemwelo. Mwanayo amadziŵa kumene mphatsoyo yachokera. Ndiponso, makolo omwe ali Mboni amalimbikitsidwa kupereka mphatso ya nthaŵi yawo kaŵirikaŵiri. Pakuti pamene mtsikana wamng’ono ali wachisoni kapena wosukidwa, kodi ndimotani mmene chipinda chodzala ndi zidole chingalinganire ndi nthaŵi yochepa ali wofukatiridwa m’manja a amayi ake akumamvetsera kwa Amayi akusimba nkhani yonena za nthaŵi pamene anali achichepere? Kodi mnyamata wamng’ono adzaphunzira mmene angakhalire mwamuna weniweni ndi ziŵiya zochuluka zoseŵerera mpira kapena ndi makambitsirano osangalatsa ndi aatali ndi atate wake pamene apitira limodzi kukawongola miyendo?

Unansi wofunika umenewu ungakhale wopulumutsa moyo. Ofufuza za ana apeza kuti pamene kusiyana kofala kwa mibadwo kuyambika pakati pa wachichepere ndi wachikulire, wachichepereyo amayamba kusonkhezeredwa kwambiri ndi amsinkhu wake. Kupulupudza kwa paubwana ndi mkhalidwe wamaganizo wopanda ulemu kulinga kwa achikulire zimayendera limodzi. “Koma awo amene amasunga malingaliro abwino a atate awo ndi achikulire onse samagwirizana ndi ausinkhu wawo m’kupulupudzako.”

Nthaŵi zina Mboni za Yehova zaimbidwa mlandu wa kusakhala ndi phande m’chikondwerero cha maholide limodzi ndi mabanja awo. Kungaonekere ngati kuti ana a Mboni za Yehova amamanidwa chikondwerero chapadera chimenechi. Koma makolo owona mtima ameneŵa ndi ana awo ali ndi zifukwa zomveka Zabaibulo zopeŵera zimenezo. (Chonde onani pamasamba 19-22.) Ndipo achichepere ameneŵa akukulitsa mphamvu ya makhalidwe yolimba imene idzalimbana ndi chitsenderezo chachikulu cha ausinkhu wawo chimene chimawononga zosankha za achichepere ena. Makhalidwe abwino akukokoloredwa ndi funde lomakulakula la kuipa. Chisembwere, anamgoneka, chiwawa, zakumwa zoledzeretsa, timagulu tazipembedzo, ogona ana—maupandu ambiri amaika pangozi achichepere amene ali mikhole yosavuta.

Kodi ndimotani mmene kholo lingatetezerere mwana kungozi zosalekeza zimenezi? Kuyambira ukhanda ana a Mboni amalandira maphunziro osasintha a kudalira malamulo a makhalidwe olimba a Baibulo. Makolo achikondi amawathandiza kumvetsetsa lingaliro la Mulungu osati chabe pamaholide komanso pambali zonse za moyo. Kumvera Mulungu wawo kumasonkhezeredwa ndi chikondi ndi ulemu wawo kwa iye, ngakhale ngati kungatanthauze kukhala osiyana ndi ena. Tangolingalirani mmene zimenezi zimawakonzekeretsera kaamba ka uchikulire wachipambano atakula! Ngati mwana wachichepere angakhale m’kalasi lodzala ndi ausinkhu wake amene akuchita zimene zioneka kukhala zokondweretsa naima nji kuchirikiza zimene amakhulupirira kukhala zabwino, iye ali wokhoza bwino koposa kuchirimika molimbana ndi chiyeso cha pambuyo pake cha zinthu zooneka kukhala zokondweretsa kwambiri—anamgoneka, kugonana popanda ukwati, ndi zokopa zina zowononga! Ana a Mboni za Yehova angakhale ndi kanthu kena kamene ana ena angakhale akumanidwa.

“Achichepere ambiri amene ndawapenda alibe chikhulupiriro,” akutero Dr. Robert Coles, wofufuza wa ku Harvard. “Iwo atayikiridwa ndi zonse kusiyapo kudzitangwanitsa iwo eni, ndipo zimenezi zimakula tsiku ndi tsiku chifukwa cha njira imene analeredwa nayo.”

Katswiri wa za kusamalira ana wina akufotokoza banja losiyana motere: “Iwo amafuna ana amene amasamala ena ndi amene amadzipereka kuthandiza ena. . . . Ali ndi moyo wasafuna zambiri . . . , koma ali ndi kanthu kena. Chifukwa cha kusoŵa mawu abwino, ndidzangokatcha chikhutiro.”

Dolores Curran akutchula kulemekeza utumiki wa kwa ena kukhala mbali yofunika ya chimwemwe. “M’mabanja ena m’dziko lathu [United States]—mabanja ambiri, ndingatero—kufuna chipambano ndi moyo wapamwamba ndiko cholinga chachikulu.” Koma “mabanja amene amavomereza kuti ziŵalo zake zingathe ndipo zidzakhala zosamalira ena amakhala mabanja abwino amene amalemekeza utumiki wa kwa ena. . . . Pamene ana a m’mabanja ameneŵa akula, amakhala ndi chizoloŵezi cha kukhala anthu osamala ena ndi anthu athayo chifukwa cha zochitika m’mabanja awo.” Curran waona kuti makolo ena achipambano “akubwerera kumkhalidwe wa kufunafuna chimwemwe mwa anthu ndi m’kupatsa kuposa m’kugula, kulandira, ndi kugwiritsira ntchito zinthu.”

Zimenezi zinatchulidwa mwanjira ina ndi katswiri wopambana wa kupatsa kuti, “kupatsa kutidalitsa koposa kulandira.” (Machitidwe 20:35) Mabanja a Mboni ali umboni woonekera wa mawu ameneŵa a Kristu Yesu. Mofanana ndi iye miyoyo yawo ili yosumikidwa pa utumiki Wachikristu. Ena angaganize kuti achichepere amene ali Mboni akulimidwa pamsana ndi kukakamizidwa kutsagana ndi makolo awo kunyumba ndi nyumba. Mosiyana kwambiri, iwo akuphunzitsidwa ndi chitsanzo cha makolo mmene angasonyezere chikondi kwa anthu anzawo mwa kupereka kwaulele mbiri yabwino ya Ufumu wa Mulungu kwa anansi awo.—Mateyu 24:14.

‘Kodi Sikudzapinimbiritsa Ana?’

Koma kodi kulera mwana mwanjira yachipembedzo yosamalitsa kwambiri sikumapinimbiritsa mwana wamng’ono? Kodi sikwabwino kumlola munthu kudzipangira chosankha chonena za chipembedzo atakula? Limenelo lingakhale lamulo la nambala 3 la mu 12 Rules for Raising Delinquent Children: “Musamuphunzitse zinthu zauzimu zilizonse. Yembekezerani kufikira atakwanitsa zaka 21 ndiyeno mloleni ‘adzisankhire yekha.’”

Komabe, mphamvu ya kuzindikira makhalidwe abwino yofunika ya mwana, malinga nkunena kwa Dr. Coles, imayamba akali mwana ndithu ali pafupifupi ndi zaka zitatu. “Mwa mwana muli mphamvu yomakula ya kuzindikira makhalidwe abwino. Ndikuganiza kuti ili yopatsidwa ndi Mulungu, kuti pali chikhumbo cha makhalidwe abwino.” Imeneyi ndinthaŵi yofunika kwambiri ya kukhomereza miyezo yowona ya makhalidwe. Mwachitsanzo, ndiyo nthaŵi ya kuphunzitsa mwa kupereka chitsanzo cha kufunika kwa kunena zowona mmalo mwa bodza. Baibulo limagogomezera kufunika kwa kuphunzitsa mkati mwa zaka zapaubwana kuti: “Phunzitsa mwana poyamba njira yake; ndipo angakhale atakalamba sadzachokamo.”—Miyambo 22:6.

Curran akuti: “Ana lerolino sangayembekezeredwe kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino popanda chithandizo. . . . Amene ndafunsa m’kufufuza kwanga anena kuti ngati banja liri labwino mphamvu yawo ya kuzindikira chabwino ndi choipa imakhalanso yolimba.”

Wogwira ntchito yothandiza osauka poyankha kufufuza kwa Curran anati: “Pali maziko ofunika koposa osapeŵeka a nyonga amene chikhulupiriro chachipembedzo chimapereka m’mabanja.” Kwa banja limene liri ndi maziko achipembedzo amodzimodzi, akutero Curran, “chikhulupiriro mwa Mulungu chimayala maziko m’moyo wa banja wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Maziko achipembedzo amalimbitsa njira zochirikizira banja. Makolo amadzimva kukhala ndi thayo lalikulu kwambiri la kuphunzitsa ana chikhulupiriro chawo, koma amatero mwanjira zabwino ndi zatanthauzo.”

Thandizani Ana Anu Kuona Chikondi cha Mulungu

Sonyezani ana mphatso za Mulungu zimene zimawadzetsera chimwemwe. Gonani paudzu ndi kupenda limodzi nawo duŵa laling’ono lopangidwa mocholoŵana. Penyererani mnangalire amene akutuluka muudzu wokhuthala umenewu kukwera kunsonga ya khwata la udzu, akumafunyulula mapiko ake ofiira ndi amaŵangamaŵanga, ndi kuuluka. Aloleni azizwe ndi gulugufe pamene atera mwadzidzidzi padzanja akutukula ndi kugwetsa mapiko ake achikasu kuti apume mwakanthaŵi ndi kuwothera dzuŵa. Gonani chagada kuti muone mitambo yoyandama ikumayenda m’mwamba, ndi kuona mmene mpangidwe wake usinthira kuchokera pa kuoneka ngati zombo za panyanja kukhala akavalo ndi kukhalanso nyumba zachifumu m’mwambamo. M’nthaŵi yonseyo tchulirani ana anu kuti ali Mulungu Mlengi wathu amene amatipatsa mphatso zosangalatsa zotero.

Ndi mphatso zina zambiri, zonga mwana wa mphaka amene kulumpha kwake poseŵera ndi tsamba kumatiseketsa kwambiri kapena nkhanda ya galu yaubweya woima imene “imatiukira” moseŵera, ikumagwedeza mutu chauku ndi chauko, ikudzuma mwaukali pokoka malaya athu, komabe mchira wosonyeza ubwenzi ukugwedera mosaleka nthaŵi yonseyo. Kapena kuseŵera m’mafunde kugombe kwa nyanja, ulendo wa m’mapiri, kapena kukhala panja usiku kuyang’ana mochita chidwi thambo lodzala ndi nyenyezi zimene zimatwanima ndi kunyezimira. Kudziŵa kuti mphatso zimenezi ndi zina zosaŵerengeka zili zochokera kwa Uyo amene anatipatsa moyo, kukhala okhoza kumthokoza kaamba ka mphatso zimenezi, kukhala oyamikira pomdziŵa—zonsezi zimatidzetsera chimwemwe ndi kutisonkhezera kukhala ndi chikondi choyamikira ndi chakuya pa iye.

Ndiyeno m’banja, Atate ndi Amayi ayenera kukupatira ndi kupsompsona ana awo nthaŵi zambiri, zimene zimathandiza anawo kuzindikira mkhalidwe wabwino wa chisungiko ndi chiyamikiro tsiku lililonse. Athandizeni kusunga chikhulupiriro mwa Yehova, akumakana ngakhale bodza lamkunkhuniza loposa lija la Santa wovala suti yofiira, lakuti mphatso zokongola zonsezi zochokera kwa Mulungu zinangochitika, zinangosinthika—bodza lophunzitsidwa popanda umboni wa sayansi, losachirikizidwa ndi njira yopendera zinthu ya sayansi, longochirikizidwa ndi kuuma mutu kobwerezedwabwerezedwa m’maganizo a achichepere.a

Perekani mapemphero pamodzi ndi ana anu nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi kwa Mpatsi woposa onse—pachakudya, poŵerenga Mawu ake, pamapeto a tsiku. Phunzitsani mwana kukhala woyamikira, ndipo kuyamikira kumeneko kudzakometsera chokumana nacho m’moyo wake. Iye mwiniyo adzakhala wopatsa wachimwemwe potsanzira Mulungu wowona ndi makolo amene iye amakonda. Ndiyeno chimwemwe chidzadza, osati ndi masiku oikidwiratu a kalenda, koma ndi nyengo zosayembekezera za chimwemwe choposa m’moyo. “Odala anthu amene Mulungu wawo ndi Yehova.”—Salmo 144:15.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 15]

Imodzi ya mphatso zabwino koposa zimene mungapatse ana anu ndiyo nthaŵi