Pamene Chiyembekezo ndi Chikondi Zatha

MTSIKANA wina wazaka 17 wa ku Canada analemba zifukwa zomwe ankafunira kufa. Zina mwa izo anati ndi: ‘Kudzimva kukhala wosungulumwa ndi kuopa zomwe zidzachitika m’tsogolo; kudziona wopanda pake poyerekezera ndi anzanga ogwira nawo ntchito; nkhondo ya nyukiliya; kuwonongeka kwa ozone layer; ndine wosakongola mpang’ono pomwe, sindidzapeza mwamuna ndipo ndidzakhala wosakwatiwa m’moyo wanga wonse; sindikuona chifukwa chomapitirizira kukhala ndi moyo, tsono nkwanji kumangodikira kuti ndidzaone zonsezo; imfa yanga ithandiza kuti ena asakhale ndi mavuto; sindidzakhumudwa chifukwa cha aliyense.’

Kodi mwina izi zingakhale zifukwa zimene achinyamata amadziphera? Ku Canada, “kusiyapo ngozi za galimoto zokha, tsopano kudzipha ndiyo imfa yofala kwa achinyamata.”—The Globe and Mail.

Professor Riaz Hassan wa pa Flinders University of South Australia, analemba zotsatirazi m’nkhani ya m’nyuzipepala kuti “Kusakhala ndi Moyo Nthaŵi Yaitali: Vuto la Kudzipha kwa Achinyamata”: “Pali zifukwa zambiri zachikhalidwe zimene zimaoneka kuti zimakhudza nkhaniyi ndipo zimaoneka kuti zimasonkhezera kwambiri kuwonjezereka kwa kudzipha kwa achinyamata. Izi ndi kusoŵa ntchito kwa achinyamata: kusintha pa kakhalidwe ka mabanja a mu Australia; kuwonjezereka kwa kumwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi makhalidwe oipa; kuwonjezereka kwa chiwawa pakati pa achinyamata: kusokonezeka mutu; ndiponso kusagwirizana pakati pa ‘chomwe amati mtendere’ ndi kulamulira kongokomera anthu pang’ono okha.” Nkhaniyo inapitiriza kunena kuti kufufuza kosiyanasiyana kwasonyeza kuti pali kuopa za m’tsogolo ndipo pali ganizo lakuti “achinyamata ambiri amaopa ndi kunjenjemera chifukwa cha zomwe zidzachitika mtsogolo kwa iwo ndiponso dziko lonse. Amaona kuti kutsogolo dziko lidzawonongedwa ndi zida za nyukiliya ndiponso kuipitsidwa ndi zinyalala za m’mafakitale ndi kuwonongeka kwa zinthu zachilengedwe, dziko lidzakhala lopanda chikhalidwe ndipo luso la zopangapanga lidzapita patsogolo ndi kusoŵa kwa ntchito kudzakhala ponseponse.”

Malingana ndi voti yofuna kumva maganizo a achinyamata apakati pazaka 16 kufika 24, kunapezeka kuti chinthu china chimene chimapangitsa anthu kudzipha ndi kusiyana kwakukulu kwambiri kumene kulipo pakati pa olemera ndi osauka, kuwonjezereka kwa mabanja okhala ndi kholo limodzi, kuwonjezeka kwa anthu ogwiritsira ntchito mfuti, kuchitira ana nkhanza, ndiponso “kusakhulupirira zamaŵa.”

Newsweek inati ku United States, “kukhala ndi mfuti mwinamwake ndicho chinthu chachikulu kwambiri chopangitsa [kuti achinyamata azidzipha]. Pa kufufuza pakati pa achinyamata amene anadzipha omwe sanadziŵike kuti anadwalapo matenda amalingaliro poyerekezera ndi ana omwe sanadziphe, panapezeka chinthu chimodzi chokha chosiyana: mfuti yodzala zipolopolo m’nyumba. Zimenezi zimasiyana kwambiri ndi lingaliro lakuti mfuti payokha siipha anthu.” M’nyumba zambiri muli mfuti zodzala zipolopolo!

Mantha limodzi ndi anthu osasamala za anzawo, zinthu zimenezi zingapangitse achinyamata ovutika kuti adziphe. Lingalirani: Chiŵerengero cha upandu wochitidwa kwa achinyamata a zaka zapakati pa 12 ndi 19 nchochuluka kuŵirikiza kaŵiri poyerekeza ndi chochitikira anthu ena onse. Kufufuza kumasonyeza kuti “achinyamata a zaka zapakati pa 14 ndi 24 kaŵirikaŵiri amavutitsidwa,” inatero Maclean’s magazini. “Kaŵirikaŵiri azimayi amavutitsidwa ndi kuphedwa ndi anthu amene amati amaŵakonda.” Zotsatira zake? Zinthu zimenezi kuphatikizapo kuopa zina “kumawononga chikhulupiriro cha atsikanaŵa chakuti ndi otetezereka.” Pakufufuza kwina, pafupifupi chigawo chimodzi cha omwe anagwiriridwa chigololo amene anafunsidwa analingalira zodzipha.

Lipoti la ku New Zealand linanena za chinthu china chomwenso chimapangitsa achinyamata kudzipha, likumati: “Kukonda chuma kofalaku, makhalidwe a m’dziko omati munthu ndi wopambana ngati ali nchuma, kapena wooneka bwino, ndiponso ngati ngwamphamvu zimapangitsa achinyamata ambiri kudziona kuti ndi opanda pake, opanda phindu m’dziko.” Kuwonjezera apo, nyuzipepala ya The Futurist inati: “[Achinyamata] ali nchilakolako chopeza zambiri ndipo mwamsanga. Maprogramu amene amakonda pa TV ndi maseŵero. Iwo amafuna kuti akhale ooneka bwino ngati anthu amenewo, ovala za mafashoni amakono, ali ndi ndalama zambiri ndiponso onyadira, koma zonsezo azipeze popanda kugwira ntchito kwambiri.” Malingaliro opanda pake osati nkutheka ameneŵa amapangitsa kukhumudwa ndipo angapangitse kudzipha.

Kodi ndi Makhalidwe Otetezera Moyo?

Shakespeare analemba kuti: “Chikondi chimatonthoza monga kuwala kwa dzuŵa kutagwa mvula.” Baibulo limati: “Chikondi sichitha nthaŵi zonse.” (1 Akorinto 13:8) Khalidwe limenelo lili nkanthu kena kamene kangathetse vuto la achinyamata ofuna kudzipha—kulakalaka kwawo chikondi ndi kukambitsirana. The American Medical Association Encyclopedia of Medicine imati: “Anthu amene amadzipha kaŵirikaŵiri amadzimva kukhala osungulumwa kotheratu, nthaŵi zina patakhala mwayi wolakhulana ndi munthu wina wachifundo, womvetsa zinthu, zimathandiza kuti pasachitike zoipazo.”

Kaŵirikaŵiri achinyamata amalakalaka kwambiri chikondi ndi kudzimva kuti amagwirizana kwambiri ndi munthu wina. M’dziko lino lopanda chikondi ndi losakaza, nkovuta kuti munthu akusonyeze khalidwe limenelo tsiku lililonse limene tikukhala—m’dziko lino limene akhoza kungolankhulapo zochepa kapena osalankhulapo nkomwe. Chinanso chimene chimapangitsa kuti achinyamata adziphe ndicho kunyanyalidwa ndi makolo pamene mabanja akusweka ndi kusudzulana. Ndipo kunyanyalidwa kumeneku kumaonekera m’njira zambiri.

Lingalirani za makolo amene amakhala pakhomo ndi ana awo mwakamodzikamodzi. Mayi ndi Bambo angakhale otangwanika ndi ntchito kwambiri mwinanso angamachite maseŵera kumene ana sapita nawo. Uthenga umene amapereka kwa ana awo ngakhale kuti supita mwachindunji umakhala woonekeratu kuti akuwanyanyala. Mlembi ndiponso wochita kafukufuku wodziŵika bwino Hugh Mackay anati “makolo akunkirankira kukhala odzikonda. Amadziika okha patsogolo kuti asaleke moyo umene amakhala. . . . Chifukwa cha khalidwe loipali, ana samaonedwanso monga ofunika. . . . Moyo ndi wovuta ndiye anthu amangoloŵerera pa zochita zawo basi.”

Ndiye m’malo ena mwachikhalidwe chawo, yemwe ndi mwamunadi safuna kupezeka akulera mwana. Mtolankhani wotchedwa kuti Kate Legge anati: “Amuna okonda kuthandiza anthu kaŵirikaŵiri amasankha ntchito yopulumutsa ena pangozi kapena kuzimitsa moto koposa kulera ana . . . Iwo amakonda kulimbana ndi zinthu zovuta koposa ntchito zosamalira anthu ena.” Ndipo, monga mudziŵira, imodzi mwa ntchito yofunika kwambiri yosamalira anthu ndi kulera ana. Kusamlera bwino mwana kumangofanana ndi kumkana. Zotsatira zake, ana anu aamuna kapena aakazi amayamba kudziona monga achabechabe ndipo sakhala ndi maluso okwanira. The Education Digest inati: “Ngati ana adziona kuti ndi achabechabe amasoŵa amaziko akuti azitha kusankha kuchita zinthu zoŵathandiza.”

Zotsatira Zake Zingakhale Kutaya Mtima

Ochita kafukufuku amati kutaya mtima ndiko chopangitsa chachikulu kwambiri cha vuto la kudzipha. Mlembi wa nkhani za achinyamata odzipha ku Australia wotchedwa Gail Mason anati: “Kutaya mtima kumagwirizana kwambiri ndi malingaliro a kudzipha kuposa kupanikizika maganizo. Kutaya mtima nthaŵi zina kumatengedwa kukhala chizindikiro cha kupanikizika maganizo. . . . Nthaŵi zambiri kumakhala ngati kutaya mtima ndi kukhala wopanda chiyembekezo ponena zatsogolo la achinyamata, ndipo makamaka za mmene angamapezere ndalama: ndipo pang’ono malingaliro a kusoŵa chiyembekezo ponena za mmene zinthu ziliri padziko.”

Kusakhulupirika kwa atsogoleri aboma kumalepheretsa achinyamata kudzilimbikitsa kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino. Motero lingaliro lawo limakhala lakuti, “Nkuvutikiranji?” Harper’s Magazine inanena za mmene achinyamata alili okhoza kuzindikira chinyengo, kuti: “Popeza achinyamata amaloŵerera kwambiri pa chinyengo iwo amazindikira msanga zimene munthu akuchita. Amazindikira msanga zimene zimachitika m’dziko limene adzapitiriza kumakhalamo.” Ndipo kodi zimene zimachitikazo nzotani? Mlembi wotchedwa kuti Stephanie Dowrick anati: “Kale lonse sitinayambe takhalapo ndi chidziŵitso chonena mmene tizikhalira monga zilili tsopano. Makono anthu ndi olemera kapena ophunzira, koma konsekonse kuli kutaya mtima.” Ndipo ndi ochepa okha mwa anthu apamwamba a zandale kapena achipembedzo oti nkutengerako chitsanzo. Dowrick anafunsa mafunso angapo omveka bwino: “Kodi tingazipeze kuti nzeru mwina tanthauzo la kuvutika kopanda phinduku? Kodi tingakhale bwanji achikondi m’dziko lodzikondali, lachipongwe ndi la umbombo?”

Mupeza mayankho a mafunso ameneŵa m’nkhani yathu yotsatira, ndipo akudabwitsani.

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 6]

“Achinyamata ambiri amaopa ndi kunjenjemera chifukwa cha zomwe zidzachitika mtsogolo kwa iwo ndiponso kwa dziko lonse”

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 7]

“Nthaŵi zina patakhala mwayi wolakhulana ndi munthu wina wachifundo, womvetsa zinthu, zimathandiza kuti pasachitike zoipazo”

[Bokosi patsamba 6]

Zisonyezero Zina Zakuti Munthu Akufuna Kudzipha

• Kulephera kugona, kupanda chilakolako cha chakudya

• Kudzipatula ndi kusagwirizana ndi ena, kusachedwa kuchita ngozi

• Kuthaŵa panyumba

• Kusintha kwakukulu mkaonekedwe

• Kumwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena moŵa

• Kusokonezeka maganizo ndi kukhala wachiwawa

• Kunena za imfa; kulemba kalata yakuti adzipha; kulemba zithunzi zosonyeza chiwawa, makamaka ponena za iye mwini

• Kudzimva kukhala wolakwa

• Kukhala wopanda chiyembekezo, kukhala wonthunthumira, kupanikizika maganizo, kulira

• Kupatsa anthu katundu wake

• Kusamvetsera zimene ena akunena

• Kusakonda zinthu zosangalatsa

• Kudzidzudzula

• Kufuna kugonana ndi anthu osiyanasiyana

• Kuyamba kumalephera m’kalasi, kumajomba kusukulu

• Kuloŵa m’kagulu kochita zauchigaŵenga

• Kukondwa mopitiriza muyeso pambuyo pa kupanikizika maganizo

Zotengedwa m’mabuku a Teens in Crisis (American Association of School Administrators) ndi Depression and Suicide in Children and Adolescents, lolembedwa ndi Philip G. Patros ndi Tonia K. Shamoo

[Zithunzi patsamba 7]

Chikondi ndi chifundo zikhoza kuthandiza wachinyamata kufuna kukhalabe ndi moyo