Tinatembenukira ku Magwero a Chilungamo Chowona

Monga momwe yasimbidwira ndi Erwin Grosse

ZAKA zingapo zapitazo, m’mawa mukanandipeza ina m’chipata cha malo a masitima a m’madzi akulu mu Kiel, Germany, ndikugawira timasamba ndi kugulitsa Rote Fahne, magazini ya KPD/​ML.a Pa nthaŵi imodzimodziyo ndikanakhala ndikuyesera kukokera antchito ndi ophunzira ntchito m’kutsutsana. Kuyesera kuwakhutiritsa iwo za malingaliro anga a chikomyunisiti kunali ntchito yosayamikirika.

Ngakhale kuli tero, sindinalole ichi kundikhumudwitsa. Ndinali nditapeza chonulirapo m’moyo: kuthandiza kubweretsa mikhalidwe yolungama kupyolera mwa kusintha dziko. Ndimotani mmene ndinafikira ku nsonga ya kawonedwe kameneko? Kodi chonulirapo chimenecho m’moyo chikakhutiritsa njala yanga kaamba ka chilungamo?

Kufunafuna Chilungamo

Njira ya moyo ya makolo anga inali kufunafuna kaamba ka kupita patsogolo kwa kuthupi, ndipo ichi sichinandisangalatse ine nkomwe. Ife achichepere tinali kufunafuna kaamba ka chinachake chabwinopo. Masitaelo a moyo atsopano anali kuyeseredwa ndipo zifuno zatsopano m’moyo zinali kulengedwa. Pa nthaŵi imeneyo, nkhondo ya Vietnam ndi kusakhazikika kwa ophunzira kunali kupanga nkhani zazikulu. Chinawoneka kwa ife kuti anthu opanda liwongo anali kulipira ndi miyoyo yawo kaamba ka misala ya zinthu zazikulu ya a ndale za dziko ndi makapitalisiti. Mkhalidwe umenewu unalemetsa maganizo anga, ndipo ndinayamba kudana ndi dongosolo la chikapitalisiti.

Ndinanyalanyazanso chipembedzo chokhazikitsidwa. Chokumana nacho chomwe ndinali nacho pamene ndinali kutumikira magulu ankhondo a ku West Germany chinandithandiza ine kupanga chosankha chimenechi. Magulu ankhondo omwe tinadzilowetsamo anasokonezedwa kaamba ka utumiki wa m’misasa, ndipo asilikaliwo anagawidwa m’magulu a Chikatolika ndi chiProtestanti. Pa mapeto a utumikiwo, atsogoleri a chipembedzo a zipembedzo ziŵiri zonsezo anadalitsa nkhondo yamphamvu! Ndinazizwitsidwa. Kodi zida zimenezi sizinapangidwire kupha? Ndipo pamene ndinali kulangizidwa mwa chipembedzo ku sukulu, kodi sindinaphunzitsidwe kuti: “Usaphe”?​—Eksodo 20:13, King James Version.

Ndinadzimva kuti Karl Marx anali wolondola pamene anatcha chipembedzo “namgoneka wa anthu” chifukwa chidapangitsa anthu kukhala opanda mphamvu m’chiyang’aniro cha zikondwerero za chikapitalizimu. Chotero pambuyo pa kusiya gulu lankhondo, ndinachoka ku tchalitchi ndi kutenga maphunziro okhazikika mu Marxism-Leninism. Ndinaŵerenganso ntchito ya Mao Tse-tung. Zonsezi zinalimbikitsa chikhutiritso changa chakuti kokha kusintha dziko ndiko kungazule kuipa. Kokha kupyolera mwa njira imeneyo, ndinalingalira, ndi pamene chitaganya cha mtundu wa anthu chozindikiritsidwa ndi chilungamo chingawonekere.

KPD/​ML inandiphunzitsa ine kupeza antchito kaamba ka ziphunzitso za Lenin ndi kupereka kwa iwo timasamba ndi Rote Fahne. Ndinanyamulanso zikwangwani ndi kuyendetsa magalimoto okhala ndi zokuzira mawu pa ziwonetsero. Mosasamala kanthu za chimenecho, ndinawonedwa kokha monga womvera chifundo wa chipanicho. Bungwe lalikulu lisanandivomereze ine monga chiwalo, ndinayenera kudzitsimikizira ine mwini, kutumikira chipanicho kwa nthaŵi yotalikirapo ndi kuchichirikiza mwa zachuma.

Kusiyana m’Kachitidwe​—Kugwiritsidwa Mwala Kowawa!

Ndinaphunzitsidwa monga wolinganiza zopangapanga, koma ndinali wosangalatsidwa koposa mu luso la opaka utoto a chisoshalisiti, ndipo ndinakhumba kuti ndikanadzitanganitsa ine mwini mothekera monga mmene iwo anachitira. Chotero, ndinapempha kaamba ka malo pa West Berlin College of Art. Ndinavomwerezedwa ndipo ndinayamba maphunziro anga a luso mu February 1972.

Kuno kachiŵirinso ndinagwirizana ndi chipanicho ndipo mwamsanga ndinali kuimirira kutsogolo kwa zipata za fakitale ndi kugulitsa Rote Fahne. Ndinakonzanso zikwangwani ndi kupaka utoto zithunzi za Marx, Engels, Lenin, ndi Mao Tse-tung pa mbendera zofiira.

Ndinagamulapo kusakwatira​—kumeneko ndiko kuti, kufikira pamene ndinakumana ndi Linda.Ndinapeza kuti iye anali ndi mkhalidwe wachilendo, wokhulupirirka, ndipo ichi chinandipangitsa ine kusintha maganizo anga. Miyezi isanu pambuyo pake tinali mwamuna ndi mkazi, kuyamba pa womwe ukakhala ukwati wogwirizana.

Kalelo, ndinakhala ndi gulu la achichepere omwe anali ndi malingaliro otsutsa osiyanasiyana. Tinali ndi kukambitsirana kwakutali, koma kunalinso kuwombana ndi udani. Chinali kwenikweni chofanana m’zipani zosiyana za chikomyunisiti. Chirichonse chinasungirira kuti ena onse sanamvetsetse lingaliro la chikomyunisiti ndipo ayenera kugwirizana ndi chipani “chowona.” Malire a nkhondo analembedwa!

Mkati mwa chipani changa, kulimbana pakati pa magulu a kumanzere ndi a kumanja kunali kofala. Ziwalo zotchuka zinayesera kuchepetsana wina ndi mnzake. Ndinatopa ndi kumenyana ndi kutukwana, ndipo ichi chinatsogolera ku kulekana kwanga kwapang’onopang’ono ndi kugwirizana konse kwa chipanicho. Sindinawone lingaliro lirilonse m’kukhala wodzilowetsa m’chinachake chomwe m’chenicheni sichikabweretsa masinthidwe. Lingaliro la chikomyunisiti linadzitsimikizira ilo leni kukhala losafikirika m’kachitidwe! Koma mu mtima mwanga ndinakhalabe wotsatira wa chiMarxist.

Linda Andiwuza Ine Ponena za Mulungu

Usiku umodzi, pamene ndinali kuyendetsa galimoto kuchokera ku Kiel kupita ku Berlin, Linda anandizizwitsa. Iye ananena kuti: “Ndiri wokhutiritsidwa kuti pali Mulungu, ndipo cha mkatikati, ndimakhulupirira mwa iye.” Chimenecho chinali chinthu chomalizira chomwe ndinayembekezera kuchimva! Linda anali atachirikiza malingaliro anga a chiMarxist.

Mkangano wowopsya ponena za nthanthi za kukondetsa zinthu za kuthupi ndi chiMarxism unatsatira. ChiMarxism chimapereka nthanthi yakuti munthu amapereka mzimu wake wonse, luntha, ndi moyo wa makhalidwe abwino kuchokera ku malo ake a mayanjano omuzinga. Monga chotulukapo chake, munthu “watsopano” amatulukapo monga chotulukapo cha maphunziro mu nthanthi ya malingaliro ya chikomyunisiti ndi kasinthidwe kachindunji m’malo ake omuzinga. Linda, ngakhale kuli tero, anali katswiri wa zopimapima za chipatala wophunzitsidwa, ndipo anadziŵa bwino koposa! Iye anakhoza kutsimikizira kuti mkhalidwe wa munthu umayambukiridwanso ndi kapangidwe kake ka za m’mitsempha. Tinasiya kukambitsirana kwathu kupewa mkangano.

Mkati mwa ulendo wotsatirapo, Linda kachiŵirinso anachimva chikhumbo cha kulankhula ndi ine ponena za Mulungu. M’kawonedwe kanga, nthanthi ya chisinthiko inatsimikizira kuti chirichonse chinali ndi chiyambi chake mu zinthu za kuthupi ndipo kuti chinali chotukukapo cha ngozi yeniyeni. Linda anabweretsa maprinsipulo a zochititsidwa ndi mphamvu za utentha, lamulo la zinthu la kupanda mphamvu ya kudzisintha, ndi malamulo ena a zinthu za kuthupi ndi cholinga chofuna kutsimikizira kuti woyambitsa wanzeru wamoyo ayenera kukhalapo. Ndinawumirira ku malingaliro anga. Nthanthi yanga ya moyo ndi malingaliro anga, ngakhale kuli tero, anali kale mu zidutswa!

Chaka chinapita. Sande ina m’mawa Linda mwadzidzidzi anatulutsa bukhu lochindikala ndi kuyamba kuŵerenga kwa ine kuchokera mu ilo. Inali nkhani ya munthu yemwe anadula mtengo, kugwiritsira ntchito theka la iwo kupanga fano lopanda moyo ndipo kenaka kulipembedzera ilo kuti: “Ndipulumutse ine.” Kalongosoledwe kosangalatsa kameneka ka chipembedzo kanandikondweretsa ine koposa. Tangolingalirani kudabwitsidwa kwanga kumva kuti zinachokera m’Baibulo.​—Yesaya 44:14-20.

Ndinamufunsa mkazi wanga kundiuza ine zowonjezereka. Iye anachita tero kwa maora asanu​—kuyambira ndi kugwa kwa munthu mu Edeni ndi kutsiriza ndi kubwezeretsedwa kwa Paradaiso kolongosoledwa m’bukhu la Chivumbulutso. Ichi chinasiya Linda atatopa kotheratu, koma ndinadzimva ngati kuti zikamba zinagwa kuchokera m’maso mwanga ndi kuti ndinali wokhoza kuwona mowonekera bwino kwa nthaŵi yoyamba. Mwachibadwa, ndinafuna kudziŵa kumene Linda anaphunzira zonsezi.

Iye anandiuza ine kuti pamene anali ndi zaka 14 zakubadwa, iye anaphunzirapo Baibulo ndi Mboni za Yehova mu Berlin ndipo pambuyo pake anafikira pa kubatizidwa. Pamene anali ndi zaka 18, iye anayenera kusamukira kutali kwambiri chifukwa cha ntchito yake, ndipo chachisoni kunena kuti, iye anasiya njira ya chowonadi. Kenaka pamene anabwerera ku Berlin, iye anadzilowetsa mu ndale zadziko zotsutsa. Chimwemwe chimene anakumana nacho tsopano mu ukwati wake chinamusonkhezera iye kufunafuna Mulungu kachiŵirinso. Koma kodi iye akamukhululukira iye kaamba ka zolakwa zake? Iye anadziŵa kuti njira yokha ya kupulumutsira miyoyo yathu ndi chimwemwe cha ukwati wathu inali kulapa ndi kutembenukiranso kwa Mulungu. Koma sindinali pa nsonga imeneyo nkomwe. Ndinafunikira nthaŵi yowonjezereka.

Kutembenukira ku Njira Yolondola

Madzulo ena a nthaŵi ya chirimwe, tinapenyerera kulowa kwa dzuwa la golide pa mzinda. Linda ananena kuti: “Mwinamwake tingasangalale ndi zinthu zoterozo kwa kanthaŵi, Erwin. Koma kodi Mulungu akatisunga ife amoyo pamene alowereramo? Ndi chifukwa chotani chimene tikumpatsa iye cha kuchitira tero?” Ichi chinandibweretsa ine ku malingaliro anga. Ndinaphunzirapo china chake ponena za Yehova koma momvekera osati chokwanira. Chotero motsimikizirika ndinagamulapo kutembenukira kwa iye.

Mwamsanga pambuyo pa ichi, tinali pa malo a msika pamene ndinawona mkazi wachikulire ali pa mpando wa magudumu atagwira Nsanja ya Olonda. Tinamfunsa iye kutiuza ife nthaŵi za misonkhano pa Nyumba ya Ufumu ya kumaloko, ndipo maso ake anayamba kuwala. Iye anagwira manja athu: “Ndiri wachimwemwe kuti anthu achichepere onga inu mukufuna kudziŵa Baibulo,” iye anatero mobwerezabwereza. Atalakidwa ndi chimwemwe, iye anakhala tsonga mu mpando wake wa magudumu ndi kumukupatira Linda. Tinalandira magazini ena ndi kulonjeza kupita ku msonkhano wotsatira.

Tinafika mwamsanga usanayambike. Ndinali ndi tsitsi lalitali ndi ndevu ndipo ndinali wovala jeans ndi T-shirt. Linda anavala delesi ya azakhali ake ya pa ukwati yodera pang’ono ya zaka 30. Ndinawona mwamuna wovala jaketi ndi tayi ataimirira pa khomo ndipo ndinalingalira: ‘Kusinthika kokulira! Ndi chiyambi chokulira chotani nanga!’ Iye anali waubwenzi, ngakhale kuli tero, ndipo ananena kuti: “Tinali kukuyembekezerani.” Ndinadabwitsidwa koma ndinanena kwa iye kuti: “Tingakonde phunziro la Baibulo.” Ngakhale chimenecho sichinamudabwitse iye. “Lakonzedwa kale,” iye anayankha tero. Nditakwiyitsidwa pang’ono, tinalowa.

Mkati mwa msonkhanowo, ndinamva nthaŵi zingapo ngati kuti mlankhuliyo anali kulankhula kwa ine mwaumwini. Ndipo ena mu mpingomo anadabwitsidwa pamene Linda anatulutsa Nsanja ya Olonda imene anali ataikonzekera pasadakhale kaamba ka phunziro. Pambuyo pa maora aŵiriwo, mlongo wachikulireyo anabwera ndi kutikupatira ife, nkhope yake iri yowala ndi chimwemwe. Iye anali amene anabukitsa mbiri ya kubwera kwathu. Makonzedwe anapangidwa kaamba ka phunziro la Baibulo lokhazikika ndi mbale yemwe anatilandira ife, ndipo miyezi isanu ndi inayi pambuyo pake, pa April 4, 1976, ndinachitira chizindikiro kudzipereka kwanga kwa Yehova mwa kumizidwa m’madzi.

Ndinali wosangalala chotani nanga kufikira pa kudziŵa Uyo amene analonjeza kuti: “Tawonani! Ndipanga zinthu zonse zatsopano”! (Chivumbulutso 21:5) Ndipo ndimotani mmene Mlengiyo akabweretsera chilungamo chowona? Miyambo 2:21, 22 imapereka yankho: “Pakuti owongoka mtima adzakhala pa dziko, angwiro nadzatsalamo. Koma oipa, adzalikhidwa m’dziko; achiwembu, adzazulidwamo.”

Pamene kuli kwakuti kalelo ndinkaima ndi Rote Fahne kutsogolo kwa zipata za mafakitale, tsopano ndinaima pa Loŵeruka pa Karl Marx Street mu Berlin-Neukölln ndi Nsanja ya Olonda. Tsopano ndinakhoza kulankhula chinachake chomwe palibe dongosolo lopangidwa ndi munthu lingakhoze kupereka: moyo wosatha. (Yohane 17:3) Ndinaphunzira mmene “owongoka” ngakhale tsopano akuphunzitsidwira kudziveka iwo eni ndi “umunthu watsopano, umene uli kukonzeka watsopano mwa chidziŵitso cholongosoka.” (Akolose 3:10) Maphunziro amenwa kaamba ka dziko latsopano sadzalephera!

Ponena za Linda, iye tsopano anagamulapo kusapatukanso kuchoka ku Magwero a chilungamo chowona. Peter ndi Reni, omwe anatiphunzitsa ife njira za Yehova, anazindikira chimene anafuna mwauzimu ndipo anamuthandiza iye kupanga kupita patsogolo.

Zonulirapo Zatsopano pa Njira ya Chilungamo

Ku koleji, kunali kusavomereza kowonekera kwa zikhulupiriro zimene tsopano ndinazikupatira mwachangu. Profesa wa m’kalasi mwanga, wopaka utoto wotchuka, anasonyeza kuti ndikayenera kusankhapo pakati pa zaluso ndi chikhulupiriro changa chatsopano. Chotero ndinaleka kupaka utoto ndi kufunafuna kaamba ka ntchito yomwe ikatithandiza ife kufikira chonulirapo chathu chatsopano: utumiki wa upainiya. Ndi ichi m’maganizo, Linda ndi ine mobwerezabwereza tinatchula chikhumbo chathu kwa Yehova mu pemphero. Tinatumiza zifunsiro zathu theka la chaka lisadakhale tsiku lathu lokonzedwa kuyamba, September 1, 1977.

Chabwino, sichinali chopepuka, koma ndi thandizo la Yehova tinafikira chonulirapo chathu. Pa nthaŵi ino, chiyambire January 1, 1985, Linda ndi ine takhala tikutumikira monga apainiya apadera​—chotero chikhumbo china chotentha chakwaniritsidwa. Kugwiritsira ntchito mphamvu zathu zonse kuthandiza anthu kuphunzira njira ya chilungamo chowona kumatikhutiritsa ife mokulira koposa.

Ndipo bwanji ponena za chikhumbo changa kaamba ka chilungamo? Kodi icho chakhutiritsidwa? Inde. Lerolino ndimadziŵa tanthauzo lenileni la mawu a Yesu pa Mateyu 5:6: “Odala iwo ali ndi njala ndi ludzu kaamba ka chilungamo, popeza adzakhuta.”

[Mawu a M’munsi]