Chomangira Chaukwati Chomafooka

NAKUBALA wachichepere anafungata mwana wake wamiyezi iŵiri. Ndiyeno, mwadzidzidzi, anamgwetsera pansi. Mwanayo anamwalira pambuyo pa maola angapo. “Ndinamgwetsa dala,” anatero nakubalayo, “chifukwa chakuti mwamuna wanga samasamalira banja lake.” M’malo mokambitsirana nkhaniyo ndi mwamuna wake, analipsira mkwiyo wake pa mwana wopanda liŵongoyo.

Anakubala ochepa amachita monkitsa chotero, koma ambiri amagwirizana ndi malingaliro ake. Kukukhala kovuta kwambiri kwa anthu okwatirana kukhala ndi ukwati wachipambano. “Pamene kuthekera kwa kukhala ndi ukwati wachipambano kuli kochepa monga momwe kuliri mu United States lerolino,” akutero magazini a Journal of Marriage and the Family, “kuloŵa m’pangano lamphamvu laukwati, losayenerera . . . nkowopsa kwakuti palibe munthu wanzeru zake amene angachite zimenezo.”

M’nthaŵi zathu zovuta zino, chisembwere, kusayenererana, ngongole, kukangana ndi apongozi, ndi dyera zonsezo zimasonkhezera ndewu m’banja, zimene kaŵirikaŵiri zimathera m’kusudzulana. Mkhalidwewo ngwoipa kwambiri m’Japan kwakuti ngakhale Tchalitchi cha Katolika, chodziŵika chifukwa cha kaimidwe kake kamphamvu kotsutsa chisudzulo, chafikira pakukhazikitsa kagulu kapadera kopeputsa nkhani zokhudza mamembala ake amene anasudzulidwa ndi kukwatiranso. Chiŵerengero chomawonjezereka cha opita ku tchalitchi chikuyambukiridwa ndi mavuto okhudza chisudzulo.

Komabe, chiŵerengero cha zisudzulo chimasonyeza mbali yochepa yokha ya vuto lalikulu kwambiri. Kufufuza kochitidwa mu United States kumasonyeza kuti kunyonyotsoka kwa mkhalidwe wa moyo wa banja ndiko kukuchititsa chiwonjezeko cha zisudzulo, osati kokha kusintha kwa makhalidwe kumene kumachititsa chisudzulo kukhala chosavuta. Pokhala ndi kuyesayesa ndi kudzipereka kochepa, moyo wabanja sukukhalanso wokopa monga kale. Ambiri amadzisonyeza kukhala okwatirana, koma samapatsana mangawa amuukwati, ndipo samalankhulana konse. Ena amalingalira monga momwe anachitira mkazi wa Kum’maŵa amene anagula manda ake apadera akumati, ‘Sindikufuna kudzakhala ndi mwamuna wanga m’manda.’ Pokhala wosakhoza kusudzula mwamuna wake tsopano, iye amafuna kudzasudzulidwa pa imfa. Momvetsa chisoni, ngakhale kuti anthu oterowo samasudzulidwa, moyo wabanja suli magwero a chimwemwe kwa iwo.

Ndimo mmene zinaliri ndi Isao. Iye anakwatira mkazi wake mopupuluma, chotero analibe chisonkhezero chakusintha njira yake yamoyo yodzikonda. Ngakhale kuti anali kulandira ndalama zochuluka monga woyendetsa lole, iye anawawanya ndalama zake zonse pa kudyera ndi kumwera, osasamalira banja lake. Chotsatirapo chinali chakuti nthaŵi zonse anali kukangana ndi mkazi wake. “Nthaŵi iliyonse imene zinthu sizinandiyendere bwino,” akukumbukira motero Isao, “ndinali kupita kunyumba kukalipsira mkwiyo wanga pa banja langa.” Mofanana ndi mapiri ophulika osaleka kulilima, nkhani ya chisudzulo inabuka tsiku ndi tsiku.

Amuna ndi akazi ambiri akupirira ndi ukwati woipa. Kaya asudzulane kapena ayi, iwo sakupeza chimwemwe. Kodi pali njira ina imene ingachititse ukwati wawo kukhala wachipambano? Kodi chingachitidwe nchiyani kuti alimbitse chomangira cha ukwati wawo?