Kuchepetsa Mavuto a Imfa

MIYAMBO yamaliro ndi zizoloŵezi poika maliro zimasiyana kwambiri m’maiko osiyanasiyana ndiponso miyambo yosiyanasiyana. Malangizo aboma angapereke njira zimene ziyenera kutsatiridwa. Komabe, kaŵirikaŵiri chimene chimalamulira kwambiri ndicho zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo za banjalo ndi chitaganya. “Mapendedwe a madzoma amaliro ndi miyambo amasonyeza bwino lomwe unansi umene ulipo pakati pa chikhulupiriro chachipembedzo ndi mwambo wozoloŵereka pamene munthu wafa,” ikutero The New Encyclopædia Britannica.

Talingalirani maliro Achihindu ku Indiya. Mtembo umakonzedwa kuti ukatenthedwe malinga ndi madzoma a kagulu ka chipembedzoko. “Madzi Oyera,” makamaka a Mtsinje wa Ganges, amawazidwa pansi. Ndiyeno nsalu yoyera imayalidwa pamalowo, kenako amagonekapo mtembowo. Lubani wonunkhira amafukizidwa ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti adzakokera mizimu yoyera kumalowo. Amapaka kunkhope kwa mtembowo mankhwala a nsanganizo ya mtengo wa sandalwood ndi pauda wofiira. Mtembowo umasambitsidwa ndi kuphimbidwa nsalu yoyera ndi kuika maluŵa pamwamba pake. Ndiyeno mtembowo umanyamulidwa pa lithala lansungwi atatsogoza mutu kuwupereka ku guŵa lotenthera. Atafika kumeneko, lithalalo limatembenuzidwa kuika miyendo ya thupilo kutsogolo, kulinga ku guŵa lotenthera, kusonyeza kuti likuyang’ana ku moyo wamtsogolo. Moto wamaliro umayatsidwa ndi mwana wamwamuna wamkulu, popeza amakhulupirira kuti kuli kokha mwanjirayi kuti “moyo” wa malemuyo ungadzetse mtendere. Pambuyo pake, phulusa limasonkhanitsidwa ndi kuponyedwa mu umodzi wa mitsinje “yoyera” ya Indiya.

Mu Papua New Guinea, uli mwambo kwa achibale kukhala pafupi ndi mtembo, kuwupsompsona, kulira moutsamira, kuwulonjeza, ndi kupempha chikhululukiro pamachimo amene anachitira wakufayo. Kulira kumakhala kwakukulu, ndipo kuvuma nyimbo zamaliro kumawonjezera chisoni. Uli mwambo kuchita mapwando aakulu aŵiri panthaŵi ina pambuyo pa imfayo kulemekeza “mzimu” wa malemu ndi kuchinjiriza kulipsira kulikonse kumene ungakubweretse.

Mu Afirika, zizoloŵezi za pamaliro ndi miyambo zimaika chigogomezero pakukhulupirira kusakhoza kufa kwa moyo. Pamakhala lingaliro lakufuna kukondweretsa akufa, kuwopera kuti angabweretse masoka pa achibale awo. Ndalama zochuluka zimawonongedwa ndipo nsembe zambiri zimaperekedwa nchiyembekezo chakuti wakufayo adzasonyeza chiyanjo kwa amoyowo. Ambiri amakhulupirira kuvalanso thupi lanyama, kuti malemuyo adzabweranso kaya monga nyama yoyenera kulambiridwa kapena monga chiwalo china chabanja kudzera mwa mkazi amene ali ndi mimba panthaŵiyo. “Chifukwa chake,” likutero lipoti lochokera ku Nigeria, “pamakhala chisamaliro chapadera poveka mtembo kutsimikizira kuti zonse ziri bwino. Mwachitsanzo, kumakhulupiriridwa kuti ngati dzanja la wakufayo silinawongoledwe m’bokosi lamaliro, lidzadza lopunduka pamene munthuyo avalanso thupi lanyama. Kapena mwamuna wakufa amene sanavekedwe moyenera adzavalanso thupi lanyama monga munthu wamisala.” Kaŵirikaŵiri kuwopa akufa ndi ulamuliro umene akufa amakhala nawo pa amoyo zimasonkhezera zochitika pamaliro a mu Afirika.

M’madera ambiri akumidzi m’Girisi, kumakhala mapwando ocholoŵana ndi anthaŵi yaitali pambuyo pa imfa. “M’zaka zisanu zimene zimatsatirapo, achibale aakazi a malemuyo amalinganiza ndi kutsogoza madzoma ambiri akukumbukira,” akutero magazini a Science. “Kwa akazi okwatiwa, anakubala, ndi ana aakazi, kulira kumakhala njira yosonyezera mkhalidwe wawo. Amapita kumanda usiku uliwonse kukayatsa makandulo, kupukuta mwala wapamanda, kulankhula kwa akufa, kuimba nyimbo zamaliro, ndi kusisima. Iwo amakhulupirira kuti, kuchita bwino madzoma ameneŵa, kudzathandiza moyo wa wokondedwayo kuloŵa kumwamba.” M’kupita kwanthaŵi, mafupa a malemu amakumbidwa ndi kuikidwa m’phanga la onse la mudziwo.

Maliro ambiri m’Japani amatsatira madzoma Achibuda. Mtembo umasambitsidwa ndi kuvekedwa, umaphimbidwa nsalu yoyera, ndipo mpeni umaikidwa pachifuŵa pake kuingitsa mizimu yoipa. Pamene lubani ndi makandulo zikuyaka, wansembe amaŵerenga ndime za M’bukhu lopatulika Lachibuda ali kumbali kwa kama ndipo amapatsa wakufayo dzina Lachibuda lapaimfa limene, modalira pachiŵerengero cha zilembo zogwiritsiridwa ntchito, ndalama zambiri ziyenera kulipiridwa. Ndiyeno thupilo limaikidwa m’bokosi lamaliro losapakidwa utoto. Pamakhala mchezo wa usiku wonse kapena wofika pakati pausiku kulirira wakufayo ndi kupempherera moyo wake kuti upume. Pamene wansembeyo akuŵerenga ndimezo, olira amasinthana aliyense akupsereza lubani pang’ono. Madzoma ofanana amachitidwa tsiku lotsatira pamapemphero amaliro patsogolo pa guŵa limene amaikapo bokosi lamaliro, chithunzithunzi cha malemu, ndi zinthu zina zamadzoma Achibuda. Ndiyeno, kutentha mtembo kumatsatira malinga ndi lamulo. Kwanthaŵi yakutiyakuti pambuyo pake, lubani limafukizidwa kwanthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, ndipo wansembe amaŵerenga ndime, kufikira pamene akhulupirira kuti chisonkhezero cha moyowo chatha pazochitika za anthu ndipo wasandulika kuloŵa m’miyoyo yamakolo.

Dziŵitsani Zikhumbo Zanu

Kaŵirikaŵiri, mmalo mwakuchepetsa chipsinjo cha imfa ya wokondedwa, machitachita apamaliro oterowo amawonjezera mavuto okulirapo. Limodzi lamavutowo ndilo ndalama. Maliro ochititsa chidwi amafuna ndalama zambiri. Kaŵirikaŵiri ansembe amayembekezera zopereka zazikulu kapena malipiro kaamba ka mautumiki awo. Mapwando ocholoŵana ndi madzoma zimafunanso ndalama zochuluka. Pakhoza kukhala ngakhale chitsenderezo chakuchita zopambana pa zikhumbo za wakufayo kapena kuchita madzoma amene sanakhulupirire. Banja likhoza kudandaula kwambiri kapena mabwenzi kuti wakufayo sadzaikidwa mwanjira yoyenera ndi yolemekezeka malinga ndi miyezo ya chitaganya. Ngati muli ndi zikhumbo zirizonse zonena za mmene maliro anu ayenera kuchitidwira, mudzachita mwanzeru kuzilemba ndikuti ena achitire umboni chikalatacho.

Mkazi wina wapanyumba wa ku Japani anapeza phunziro la zimenezi pamene abambo ŵake azaka 85 anamwalira. Iwo adapempha utumiki wamaliro wosacholoŵana ndikuti pakakhale ziwalo zabanja zokha. Komabe, izi zinabweretsa chisulizo chachikulu kuchokera kwa awo amene anafuna programu yamaliro yamwambo. Pambuyo pake, mwana wawo wamkaziyo analembera nyuzipepala ya Asahi Shimbun ya ku Tokyo kuti: “Ngati munthu afuna kukhala ndi maliro osiyana ndi ena, mosasamala kanthu za kuwonekera kwake kukhala oyenera kwa iye, ndibwino koposa kuzilankhula ndi banja lake m’kukambitsirana kwa tsiku ndi tsiku ndikukhala ndi chivomerezo chawo palingalirolo. Nkofunikanso kusiya atalemba zikhumbo zake kuti ziŵalo za banja lofedwalo zidzakhoze kulaka kusulizako.”

Kuchita motero nkofunika koposerapodi pamene muli ndi zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo zimene zimatsutsana ndi zizoloŵezi zakumalowo. Mwachitsanzo, Mkristu m’Japani angawope kuti ngati angamwalire, achibale ake osakhala Akristu akagwada ndi kupereka ulemu wakulambira patsogolo pa bokosi lake lamaliro kapena chithunzithunzi pamaliropo monga momwe akachitira patsogolo pa guŵa lansembe Lachibuda. Chotero akhoza kunena pasadakhale m’malangizo olembedwa kuti anthu atamtsazika panyumba, thupi lake liyenera kukatenthedwa ndiyeno pambuyo pake nkukhala ndi utumiki wamaliro wosacholoŵana popanda bokosi lamaliro kapena chithunzithunzi. Kupeŵa mavuto, achibale ayenera kuuzidwa za kachitidweko pasadakhale.

Kuchita ndi Malonda a Maliro

Kufikira pafupifupi zaka zana limodzi zapitazo, anthu anali kufera panyumba, mabwenzi ndi abanja atasonkhana panyumbapo. Ana sanaletsedwe kufika kukama wa imfa ndipo mwanjirayi anaphunzira za imfa. Koma zonsezi zasintha m’maiko otsungula ndi amaindasitale. Anthu otsala pang’ono kufa amafulumizidwira kuzipatala, ndipo zoyesayesa zimapangidwa kuwonjezera utali wa miyoyo yawo. “Mmalo mwakuwona imfa monga chinthu chachibadwa, asing’anga amakono amaiwona monga chinthu choipa kapena chachilendo, monga kugonjetsedwa kwa zoyesayesa zawo zakuchiritsa, nthaŵi zina monga kugonjetsedwa kwa iwo eni,” ikutero The New Encyclopædia Britannica. “Matenda amasamaliridwa ndi zida zonse zothekera, kaŵirikaŵiri popanda kulingalira mokwanira munthu wodwalayo—nthaŵi zina osalingalira konse kuti kaya ‘munthuyo’ adakalipo.”

Maliro achikatikati mu United States tsopano amadya ndalama zoposa $3,000—ndipo zimenezo sizimaphatikizapo manda. Chikhoterero chakuchita ndi wotsogoza maliro wachifundo ndicho kuiŵala kuti ali pamalonda akupeza ndalama. “Cholinga chakupeza phindu chimakhala chachikulu kwambiri m’makonzedwe omalizira amaliro,” akutero magazini a Changing Times. Ndipo monga momwe zimakhalira m’malonda alionse, wogula mautumiki amaliro amakhala paupandu wakukakamizidwa kulipira ndalama, kugwidwa m’maso, kulipiritsidwa mopambanitsa kapena kunyengedwa ndi wogulitsa waumbombo. Kwenikweni, upanduwo umakhala wokulirapo chifukwa chakuti anthu ambiri amakhala akugula kwanthaŵi yoyamba, iwo afedwa ndipo ayenera kuchita mwamsanga.”

Komabe, ziripo njira zina. Imodzi ya izo ndiyo kusunga ndalama za maliro anu inumwini. Izi zingachitidwe mwanjira yakuika ndalama mu akaunti yapadera ku banki m’dzina lanu koma zodzalipiridwa pa imfa yanu kwa munthu amene mumlembetsa. Malinga ndi malamulo a ku United States akuika ndalama kubanki, ndalama zoikidwa mu akaunti ya banki yoteroyo (yotchedwa Totten trust) zikhoza kutengedwa ndi woikiziridwayo mwakusonyeza chitupa chake ndi setifiketi ya imfa. Mukali moyo, ndalamazo zimakhala m’manja mwanu. Njira ina ndiyo kugula inshuwalansi ya moyo ku kampani yotchuka ndi yolimba. Ngati ndinu wokwatira, tsimikizirani kuti mnzanuyo akudziŵa bwino lomwe, makamaka pankhani za ndalama. Kulemba chikalata cha amene adzatenga chuma chamasiye kulinso kopindulitsa kwambiri. Sikothekera kwambiri kuti nonsenu mungafe panthaŵi imodzi. M’zochitika zambiri akazi amasiyidwa ndi amuna awo. Kaŵirikaŵiri akazi amapeza kuti sadziŵa zinthuzi, zimene zimawonjezera kusweka mtima kwawo ndi ululu. Popeza kuti imfa ingadze mwadzidzidzi, musazengereze kukambitsirana nkhanizi ndi banja lanu.

Kusamalira Chisoni

Munthu amene wapirira imfa ya wokondedwa amakhala atavutika ndi ululu waukulu. Chisoni chakufuna kulira ndi kuusa moyo chimakhalapo nthaŵi zonse kufikira pamene avomereza imfayo. Utali wanthaŵi yakuvutika ndi chisonicho imasiyana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana. Ena angatonthozedwe mofulumira kwambiri, pamene ena akhoza kutha chaka kapena kuposapo. Alipo oŵerengeka amene samaleka konse kulira. Kodi ndimotani mmene munthu angaphunzirire kulaka?

Nkofunika kwa inu kusadzilekanitsa ndi kudzichotsa kuchitaganya. Kuyambiranso moyo wamasiku onse ndi kukambitsirana ndi mabwenzi ndi achibale pafoni kapena kuwachezetsa nkofunika kwambiri kuti muthetse chisoni. Ngakhale kuti pali nthaŵi zimene mumafunikira kukhala nokha, sikuyenera kukhala chizoloŵezi. Athandizeni anthu kulankhula nanu kuti akuthandizeni mwakuyamba inu kulankhula nawo.

Uphungu wabwino unaperekedwa ndi mwamuna wina amene anafedwa achibale ake apafupi asanu m’zaka zitatu zokha, kuphatikizapo amake ndi mkazi wake wapamtima wazaka 41, amene anavutika kwanthaŵi yaitali ndi nthenda ya kansa. Iye anati: “Ndinavutikadi ndi chisoni. Nthaŵi zina ndinkalira. Koma munthuwe uyenera kuwona moyo monga momwe uliri. Uyenera kuvomereza moyo monga momwe uliri, osati monga momwe umakhumbira kuti ukhalire. Ufunikira kusinthira maganizo pavutolo ndi kuvomereza imfa, mmalo mwakukhala ndi chisoni chosatha.”

Nkofunika kuchirikiza ndi kulimbikitsa olira. Mwatsoka, ambirife timadziwona kukhala osayenerera kutero ndipo timasoŵa chonena. Nthaŵi zina tingachitedi manyazi kuwona machitidwe akuusa moyo kwa wofedwayo. Chifukwa chake pamakhala chikhoterero chakupeŵa kukumana ndi wolirayo—pamenedi iye amatifuna koposa. Ena anenedwadi kuti amadutsa msewu ndi kuyendera mbali ina kokha kuti apeŵe kulankhula kwa munthu wofedwa! Mkazi wina wamasiye anati: “Ndinasiidwa ndekha m’chisoni changa. Ndinafunitsitsa kwambiri kulankhula koma palibe amene anamvetsera.”

Ena amene afika mofulumira ndi kuchirikiza pa imfa kaŵirikaŵiri amafulumiranso kuleka. “Pambuyo pa imfa, nthaŵi zina kumatenga masabata kapena miyezi kuti munthu wofedwayo alake kupsinjika maganizo koyambako. Ndipo mpamene chichirikizo chimakhala chofunika koposa, komano mpamenenso chimapezeka chochepa kwambiri,” akutero profesa wodziŵa malingaliro Patricia Minnes. Ndipo kumakhala kulakwa kuganiza kuti awo amene samasonyeza kupsinjika maganizo kwakukulu ali ouma mtima ndi opanda chikondi, kuti akulandula kutaikiridwako, kapena kuti chisoni chawo chatha. Ena angakhale kokha ndi nyonga yaikulu yamkati yakugonjetsa chisoni chawo, koma nawonso amafunikira chitonthozo ndi chichirikizo.

Pamenepa, kumakhala kwabwino koposa chotani nanga pamene mabwenzi afika kudzathandiza wofedwayo kusamalira nkhani zina ndi kulembetsa zikalata zofunikira! Kumakhala kolimbikitsa chotani nanga kukhala ndi munthu wolimba ndi wothandiza, wolama maganizo pochita makonzedwe amaliro! Kumakhala koyamikirika chotani nanga pemene wina athandiza kusamalira ana ndi zosoŵa za achibale ochokera kutali ndi mabwenzi! Kuli kudera nkhaŵa chotani nanga pamene mabwenzi ndi anansi abweretsa chakudya tsiku ndi tsiku, kudzipereka kuthandiza ntchito zapanyumba kapena kuperekeza olirawo kumene afuna kupita! Kumakhala bwino kwambiri chotani nanga kukhala ndi wina amene olirawo angakambitsirane naye malingaliro awo! Kumatonthoza chotani nanga kumva mawu achitonthozo ndi kugwira kwa dzanja kwachikondi! Kumakhala kwabwino chotani nanga pamene, ngakhale miyezi ingapo pambuyo pake, ena amafunsa zaumoyo wa ofedwawo ndi pamene mawu achikondi amanenedwa!

Koma kukhala ndi chiyembekezo cha mtsogolo kumathandiza koposa. Kodi pali chiyembekezo choterocho?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 23]

“Muyenera kuvomereza moyo monga momwe uliri, osati mmene mumakhumbira kuti ukhalire”

[Bokosi patsamba 25]

Kodi Tidzawauzanji Anawo?

Auzeni chowona, mogwirizana ndi luntha lawo lakumvetsetsa zinthu. Lankhulani za imfa ndi kufa monga momwe ziriri, ndipo peŵani mawu amatanthauzo angapo. Ngati munena kuti, “Agogo atisiya” kapena kuti, “Agogo ataika,” mwanayo angayembekezere kuti agogowo adzabweranso kapena “kupezedwa.” Mthandizeni mwanayo kumvetsetsa chimene imfa iri, ndipo yankhani mafunso mogwirizana ndi Malemba. Mwana angathe kuphunzitsidwa za imfa mwa zochitika zachilengedwe. Mukhoza kufotokoza imfa ya nyama, mbalame, kapena mphemvu. Lezani mtima, ndipo wongolerani malingaliro olakwika amene mwana angakhale nawo otengedwa pa akanema kapena TV. Kubisa ana imfa kungawapangitse kukhala ndi mkwiyo kapena mantha akuwopa zinthu zosadziŵika.

Mwana wam’ngono angadziwone kukhala ndi thayo la imfayo, makamaka ngati anali ndi malingaliro amkwiyo kulinga kwa wakufayo. Thandizani mwanayo kumvetsetsa kuti sali ndi liwongo lirilonse, kuti mupeŵetse malingaliro aliwongo.

Mantha akuti wanyanyalidwa amakhala aakulu kwambiri kwa ana amene kholo lawo lafa. Atonthozeni kwambiri monga momwe kungathekere, ndipo auzeni kuti adzakondedwa ndi kusamaliridwa. Mwana angakhalenso ndi malingaliro amkwiyo. Ngati auzidwa kuti Mulungu anatenga kholo lake, akhoza kukhala ndi malingaliro akuda Mulungu. Kudziŵa chowonadi cha Baibulo kumathandiza m’nkhanizi. Mtsimikizireni mwanayo, ndipo msonyezeni chikondi ndi chichirikizo.

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Chirikizani ndi kulimbikitsa olira