Malingaliro Othandiza Makolo Olera

GULU la United States Bureau of the Census likuneneratu kuti mabanja olera adzapyola chiŵerengero cha mabanja achibadwa podzafika 1995. Panthaŵiyo, 59 mwa ana 100 alionse adzakhala ali “m’mabanja osakanikirana” (mabanja okhala ndi kholo lolera) asanafike zaka 18. Otsatirawa ndimalingaliro operekedwa kuthandiza chiŵerengero chimene chikukula cha makolo olera.

Lolezani Nthaŵi Kupita: Makolo olera ayenera kukumbukira kuti pamafunikira nthaŵi kuti ana olera avomereze kholo latsopano. Katswiri wa zathanzi la maganizo Mavis Hetherington akufotokoza chifukwa chake miyezi ingapo yoyambirira—kapena chaka—ingakhale yovuta kwambiri: “Kuchiyambiyambi kwake kwa kukwatirananso, ana aamuna ndi akazi omwe amakhala audani, onyanyala, ofuna kuchita zawo ndi opsera mtima osati kokha atate wawo owalera komanso amayi awo. Amapsera mtima . . . amawo chifukwa cha kukwatiwanso.” Makolo olera ayenera kuyesayesa kuzindikira mmene anawo amamvera, ngakhale kuti kutero kungakhale kovuta.—Onani Miyambo 19:11.

Kulitsani Unansi Wabwino Choyamba: M’buku lake lakuti Stepfamilies, Joy Conolly akuchenjeza mwanzeru kuti makolo olera adzachita bwino kwambiri kuwongolera khalidwe la ana awo owalera pambuyo pa kukulitsa unansi wabwino ndi iwo. Zidakali choncho, kungakhale bwino koposa kuti kholo lenileni la anawo lipereke chilango chofunika. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 27:6.) Kumbali ina, makolo olera angachititse anawo kuwona zinthu kukhala zozoloŵereka mwa kuchirikiza kuchita zinthu zimene azoloŵera—monga ngati kumka nawo kokayenda kapena kuseŵera pamodzi. Komabe, atate olera, sayenera kugwiritsira ntchito nthaŵi ya kudya kudzudzulira banjalo.

Peŵani Kukondera: Atate kapena amayi olera ayenera kupeŵa chisonyezero chilichonse cha kukondera kwa ana ake enieni, ngati nkotheka, mulimonse mmene zimenezi zingakhalire zovuta nthaŵi zina.—Yerekezerani ndi Aroma 2:11.

Yandikiranani Nawo Mosamala: Kupenda kwina kwaposachedwa kwa mabanja olera kunapeza kuti kaŵirikaŵiri nkovuta makamaka kwa atate olera ndi ana aakazi olera kugwirizana. Wolemba buku wina akunena motere: “Atate olera amayesayesa kulankhulana nawo, ndipo asungwana amakana. Atate olera amayesa kupereka chilango, ndipo asungwana amachikana.” Wolemba bukuyo mwachidule akuti: “Kukuwonekera ngati kuti palibe chilichonse chimene atate olera angachite ndi asungwana pachiyambi penipeni chimene chimapambana.” Kuleza mtima kwakukulu ndi kudziika m’malo mwawo ndizo zimene zimafunika. Pamene kuli kwakuti asungwana amayamikira chitamando cha atate wawo cha pakamwa, kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala osamasuka pokhudzidwa monga ngati kukhumbatiridwa. Atate olerawo ayenera kuzindikira kuti msungwana angamve motero. Ngati atero, atatewo ayenera kuwonjezera kumuyamikira kwawo ndi kukambitsirana naye kuposa kumkhumbatira.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 25:11.

Chenjerani ndi kaduka: Zokumana nazo zimasonyeza kuti ana aakazi ambiri olera amakhoterera pakuona amawo owalera kukhala opikisana nawo. Amayi olera amene amayembekezera zimenezo kumene ndi kudziika m’malo a msungwanayo angathetse kulimbanako. Atate angachite zambiri kuthetsa mkhalidwe wovutawo mwa kutsimizikira mwana wawo wamkaziyo za kumkonda kwawo ndi kumlemekeza. (Miyambo 15:1) Ofufuza akuchenjeza kuti kaŵirikaŵiri amayi olera amayesa mwamphamvu ndi mwamsanga kukhala kholo la ana awo aakazi owalera. Pamenepanso, kuleza mtima nkofunika.

Kukhala kholo lolera nkovuta. Koma kungatheke, monga momwe zitsanzo mazana ambiri zachipambano zikusonyezera. Ndipo kumbukirani, Baibulo limapereka uphungu wabwino koposa kuti mupambane mumkhalidwe wa banja uliwonse pamene limati: “Khalani nacho chikondano, ndicho chomangira cha mtima wamphumphu.”—Akolose 3:14.