Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingaleke Motani Kumwerekera m’Kulota Ndili Maso?

“NDILI ndi vuto lalikulu,” anavomereza motero wachichepere wotchedwa Jonathan. “Ndimalota ndili maso pantchito, poyenda, ndisanagone, ndipo ngakhale m’Nyumba Yaufumu. Nthaŵi zonse zimakhala nkhani za asungwana, kugonana, kapena kukhala katswiri wamaseŵera wotchuka kapena ngwazi.”

Kulota uli maso kuli kofala pakati pa achichepere ndi achikulire omwe. Ngati kuchitidwa mwachikatikati, kukhoza kukhala mchitidwe wachibadwa, ndi wabwino.a Komabe, chinthu chilichonse chikapambanitsa chimawononga. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 25:16.) Zimenezi zili choncho makamaka ngati kulota uli maso kuli kwa zinthu zoipa.

Mwachitsanzo, tinene kuti nthaŵi zina mumadziyerekezera kukhala woimba wotchuka kwambiri. Poyamba mungatenge mphindi zoŵerengeka zokha tsiku lililonse mukudzilingalira kuti muli pa siteji yoimbira mukumachemereredwa ndi gulu la owonerera. Koma m’kupita kwa milungu, muyamba kutenga nthaŵi yowonjezereka muli m’dziko lanu loyerekezera muli pamakonsati, mukumafunsidwa, ndi kujambulitsa nyimbo. Kuyerekezerako kumakusangalatsani kwambiri, ndipo mulephera kuleka.

‘Chotero, kodi choipa nchiyani ndi kungoyerekezera?’ inu mungafunse motero. Choyamba, akatswiri amanena kuti anthu omwerekera m’kulota ali maso kaŵirikaŵiri “samachita bwino . . . m’dziko lenileni.” (The Parents’ Guide to Teenagers) Kukhala m’dziko la kuyerekezera kumapinimbiritsa kukula kwa maganizo a munthu; mumaumirira pamikhalidwe yaubwana, m’malo mwakuti muisiye. (1 Akorinto 13:11) Mumakulitsa malingaliro ongoyerekezera m’malo mwa enieni ponena za moyo. M’malo mwakukulitsa ‘mphamvu zanu zakulingalira’ mwakuyesetsa kuthetsa mavuto, mumazipinimbiritsa mwakumakhala m’dziko lakuyerekezera. (Ahebri 5:14) Chotero kulota muli maso kumalamulira moyo wanu, kumene kumawononga maunansi anu a moyo weniweni ndi zinthu zofunika choyamba.

M’buku lakuti Daydreaming, lolembedwa ndi Dr. Eric Klinger likutchula zimene zingakhale ngozi yaikulu kwambiri, kuti “kumalingalira chinthu chimene ufuna koma chimene suyenera kukhala nacho kungakuchititse kukhala kovuta kuti usachilondole.” Baibulo limanena zimenezi mwanjira iyi: “Munthu ali yense ayesedwa pamene chilakolako chake cha iye mwini chimkokera.” (Yakobo 1:14) Kulingalira kumatsogolera kuchita kanthu. Ndipo ngakhale kuti mwachiwonekere simungakhale woimba nyimbo za rock wotchuka womwerekera ndi mankhwala oledzeretsa kokha chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zina mumayerekezera za kukhala woimba wotchuka, mukhoza kukulitsa chikhumbo choipa cha “thupi ndi chilakolako cha maso.”—1 Yohane 2:16.

Kudula Msamphawo

Pamenepo, kodi mungadule motani msampha wa kumwerekera m’kulota muli maso? Choyamba, kungakhale kothandiza kuona chifukwa chimene mumakondera kuyerekezera nkhani imeneyo.b Kodi nchifukwa chakuti mumafuna ena kukukondani? Kodi mumasangulutsidwa ndi kuyerekezera kuti muli wokongola kapena muli ndi luso lofanana ndi la munthu wotchukayo? Kapena mwinamwake mumangokhumbira moyo wosadera nkhaŵa wa munthu ameneyo. Katswiri wina wochiritsa maganizo anati ponena za Madonna, woimba nyimbo wotchuka: “M’malingaliro a openyerera, iye alibe nkhaŵa za ndalama, ntchito yakusukulu, kusungulumwa.” Chotero ena angamayerekezere kukhala ngati iye.

Komabe, kulingalira pazinthu zenizeni kungathandize kwambiri kudula msampha wa kuyerekezera. Gwiritsirani ntchito lamulo la mkhalidwe la pa Afilipi 4:8, pamene timauzidwa kumalingalira zinthu zimene zili zowona ndi zolemekezeka. Kodi nzowona kuti anthu otchukawo amasangalala ndi miyoyo yawo yosadera nkhaŵa? Kodi makhalidwe awo amakhala olemekezeka nthaŵi zonse? Kwenikweni, njira ya moyo yosasamala yawononga ambiri a iwo mwakuthupi ndi mwamalingaliro. Mosasamala kanthu za chuma, anthu otchuka ambiri amadzavutika ndalama zitatha. Ali oŵerengeka chabe amene ali ndi maukwati okhazikika. Kodi mukufuna kuika mtima wanu pakukhala ndi moyo woterowo?

Ndithudi, kuli kwachibadwa kufuna kukondedwa ndi kukhumbiridwa. Olivia wa zaka 16 amalota ali maso mobwerezabwereza za kukhala “munthu wapadera amene aliyense amamkonda.” Koma kulota uli maso—mosasamala kanthu kuti nkoonekera bwino kapena kuti kuli kwa zenizeni motani—sikungakhutiritsedi zikhumbo zimenezo monga mmene simungakhutire ndi kungoyerekezera kuti mukudya chakudya. (Yesaya 29:8) Ndiponso, Baibulo limachenjeza kuti: “Woyang’ana mphepo sadzafesa.” (Mlaliki 11:4) Chotero m’malo mongoyerekezera kuti mumakondedwa, yesetsani kudzipanga kukhala wokondeka.—Onani nkhani yakuti “Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . . Ndimotani Mmene Ndingapangitsire Ena Kundikonda Ine?” m’kope lathu la December 8, 1988.

Zoyerekezera za Kugonana

M’zaka zake zaunyamata, Alan (dzina lopeka) anali kumwerekera m’kulota ali maso kwa mtundu wina. Iye “anaphunzira kudzutsa malingaliro azakugonana” ndipo anali kuthera nthaŵi yake yaikulu akumaganizira zimenezo. Pambuyo pake, anapatulira moyo wake kwa Mulungu monga Mkristu. “Zimenezo sizinasinthe chilichonse,” akuvomereza motero Alan. “Kuyerekezera zakugonana kunapitirizabe kukhala njira yanga ya moyo.”

Kodi nanunso muli ndi vuto la kulota muli maso ponena za kugonana?c Zimenezi zingakhale zachibadwa ngati muli m’nthaŵi ya ‘unamwali wanu,’ pamene zilakolako zakugonana zimakhala zamphamvu kwambiri. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Komabe, mumadziwononga nokha ngati musungira dala malingaliro azakugonana. Baibulo limanena kuti pa Akolose 3:5: “Fetsani ziŵalozo zili padziko; dama, chidetso, chifunitso cha manyazi, chilakolako choipa.” Kulota muli maso ponena za kugonana koteroko kumakulitsa zilakolako zoipa. Kungatsogolere kukuchita psotopsoto—kapena chisembwere chenicheni.

Koma kodi ‘mungafafanize’ motani malingaliro akuyerekezera zachisembwere? Alan akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinaganiza za kupeza china choloŵa m’malo. Sindikalingalira za kugonana ngati ndinasumika maganizo pakanthu kena.” Chotero Alan anaphunzira kudzilanga yekha. (1 Akorinto 9:27) Iye analingalira pazinthu zabwino ndi kuphunzira kuchotsa mwamsanga malingaliro achisembwere alionse. (Salmo 77:12) “Zinathandiza! ” akukumbukira motero Alan.

Mosangalatsa, ofufuza apeza kuti timamwerekera kwambiri m’kulota tili maso pamene tilibe zochita zambiri. Chotero kukhala ndi zochita zambiri, makamaka ‘m’ntchito ya Ambuye,’ kulinso njira ina yoletsera malingaliro oipa kukhazikika.—1 Akorinto 15:58.

Letsani Maganizo Anu Kuyendayenda

Kwa achichepere ambiri, vuto silimakhala ndi zinthu zimene akuziyerekezerazo, koma mmene zinthu zimenezi zimadodometsera maphunziro akusukulu. “Sinditha kusumika maganizo,” akudandaula motero Karine wa zaka 16 zakubadwa. “Sinditha kuika maganizo anga pachinthu chimodzi.” Kodi mungatchere khutu motani ku zimene mukumvetsera? (Yerekezerani ndi Marko 4:24.) Ofufuza ena amakhulupirira kuti kungakuthandizeni ngati mukumbukira za ukulu wa kumwerekera kwanu m’kulota muli maso. Mwinamwake mukhoza kungolemba chizindikiro papepala nthaŵi iliyonse pamene mumwerekera m’kulota muli maso m’kalasi. Pamene ophunzira m’kufufuza kwina anachita zimenezo, kumwerekera m’kulota ali maso kunachepa kwambiri.

Ndiponso yesani kukulitsa chikondwerero m’zimene mukuphunzira. Ngati mwatsimikiza maganizo kuti masamu amakugwetsani ulesi kapena kuti hisitole siisangalatsa, kudzakhala kovuta kuti musumike maganizo. Komabe, maphunziro anu adzakhala okondweretsa kwambiri ngati mukumbukira mmene chidziŵitso chake chingakupindulitsireni. Mosakaikira konse, kuphunzira kudzakuthandizani kukulitsa “kulingalira.” (Miyambo 1:4) Mungaphunzirenso maluso ofunika. Mwachitsanzo, masamu adzakuthandizani kwambiri pantchito yakuthupi, posamalira zapanyumba, ndi posamalira mathayo ena Achikristu. Chidziŵitso cha hisitole chingakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa anthu ndi zochitika za m’dziko zamakono zokambidwa panyuzi. Daniel, Mboni ya Yehova ya zaka 14 anati: “Nthaŵi zonse ndimayesa kuona mmene homuweki yanga imagwirizanira ndi Baibulo ndi mmene ndingagwiritsirire ntchito chidziŵitsocho m’ntchito yolalikira. Zimenezo zimachotsa maganizo anga pakuseŵera mpira, ndipo sindimafulumira kwambiri kuti ndimalize homuwekiyo.” Inde, ngati muika kufunika kwakukulu pazimene mukuchita, mudzasonkhezeredwa kwambiri kufunafuna chidziŵitso.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 2:4.

Kumakhala kovuta kusumika maganizo makamaka pamene mukuchita kanthu kena kamasiku onse, monga ngati kuphika, kuyeretsa, kapena kulongedza bwino mapepala m’mafayelo. Nkosavuta chotani nanga kugwera m’kulingalira komwerekera! Komabe, Baibulo limasonyeza kuti chikhutiro chachikulu chimachokera m’kuchita ntchito bwino lomwe. (Mlaliki 2:24) Limatilimbikitsanso ‘kuchita zonse kulinga kwa Yehova.’ (Akolose 3:23) Mkhalidwe wa maganizo woterowo ungakuthandizeni kusumika maganizo. “Pamene ndisumika maganizo anga pa chimene ndikuchita,” akutero Samuel wa zaka 12, “ndimatha ntchitoyo mwamsanga.”

Kulota muli maso kungakhale kosangalatsa, koma sikuyenera kuloŵa m’malo kulingalira zenizeni. Musakulole kulamulira moyo wanu. Langani maganizo anu. Asumikeni pazinthu zolemekezeka. Mwanjira imeneyi, simudzangoleka kumwerekera m’kulota muli maso komanso ‘mudzagwira moyo weniweniwo.’—1 Timoteo 6:19.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Zithunzi patsamba 15]

Mmalo mwakungoyerekezera ponena za kukhala wokondedwa, yesetsani kudzipanga kukhala wokondeka