Kodi Tingatetezere Motani Ana Athu?

“Usakanene wamva. Chidzakhala chinsinsi chathu.”

“Palibe amene adzakukhulupirira.”

“Ukanena, makolo ako adzakuda. Adzadzi ŵa kuti unali mlandu wako.”

“Kodi sukufunanso kukhala bwenzi langa lapamtima?”

“Sukufuna kuti ine ndikaikidwe m’ndende, sichoncho kodi?”

“Ukanena ndidzapha makolo ako.”

PAMBUYO pogwiritsira ntchito ana kukhutiritsa chikhumbo choluluzika, pambuyo polanda chisungiko chawo ndi lingaliro la kupanda kwawo liŵongo, ogona ana amafunabe kanthu kena kwa ana amene amawagona—KUSAULULA. Kuti awachititse kusaulula, iwo amagwiritsira ntchito manyazi, chinsinsi, ngakhale kuwopseza kwenikweni. Motero ana amalandidwa chida chawo chabwino koposa chotsutsira kugonedwa—mphamvu ya kunena, kuulula ndi kupempha chitetezo kwa achikulire.

Mwachisoni, anthu achikulire mosadziŵa amagwirizana ndi ogona ana. Motani? Mwakukana kuvomereza ngozi imeneyi, mwakukulitsa lingaliro lachinsinsi pankhaniyi, mwakukhulupirira malingaliro ongopeka onenedwa mobwerezabwereza. Kusadziŵa, mawu onama, ndi kusaulula zimatetezera ogona anawo, osati ana amene amawagona.

Mwachitsanzo, msonkhano wa Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops unanena posachedwapa kuti chinali “chiwembu chofala cha kusunga chinsinsi” chimene chinalola kugona ana kochuluka kupitirizabe kwa zaka makumi ambiri pakati pa atsogoleri achipembedzo Achikatolika. Magazini a Time, posimba za mliri wa kugonana kwa pachibale, anatchulanso “chiwembu chofala cha kusunga chinsinsi” kukhala chinthu chimene “chimangothandizira kupititsa patsogolo tsokali” m’mabanja.

Komabe, magazini a Time ananena kuti chiwembu chimenechi chikutha tsopano. Chifukwa ninji? Kunena mwachidule, maphunziro. Zimenezi zikugwirizana ndi zimene magazini a Asiaweek ananena kuti: “Akatswiri onse amavomereza kuti njira yabwino koposa yotetezera ana kukugonedwa njakuti anthu onse adziŵe mkhalidwewu.” Kuti atetezere ana awo, makolo ayenera kudziŵa zenizeni ponena za vuto lowopsali. Musakhale mumdima chifukwa cha malingaliro olakwika amene amatetezera ogona ana ndipo osati anawo.—Onani bokosi pansipa.

Phunzitsani Mwana Wanu!

Mfumu Solomo wanzeru anauza mwana wake kuti chidziŵitso, nzeru, ndi kulingalira zikamtetezera “kunjira yoipa, kwa anthu onena zokhota.” (Miyambo 2:10-12) Kodi zimenezi sindizo zimene ana afunikira? Kabuku kofalitsidwa ndi FBI ka Child Molesters: A Behavioral Analysis kamanena zotsatirazi pamutu wakuti “Mkhole Wothekera”: “Kwa ana ochuluka kugonana ndinkhani yamalodza imene amalandirapo chidziŵitso chochepa cholondola, makamaka kwa makolo awo.” Musalole ana anu kukhala “mikhole yothekera.” Aphunzitseni za kugonana.a Mwachitsanzo, palibe mwana amene ayenera kufika paunamwali ali wosadziŵa mmene thupi lidzasinthira mkati mwa nthaŵi imeneyi. Kusadziŵa kudzawachititsa kukhala osokonezeka, amanyazi—osavuta kunyengerera.

Mkazi wina amene tidzamutcha Janet anagonedwa pamene anali mwana, ndipo zaka zambiri pambuyo pake ana akeake aŵiri anagonedwa. Iye akukumbukira kuti: “M’njira imene tinaleredwera, sitinali kulankhula konse za kugonana. Chotero ndinakula ndili wamanyazi pankhaniyi. Kunali kochititsa manyazi. Ndipo pamene ndinakhala ndi ana, zinthu sizinasinthe. Ndinali kulankhula kwa ana a anthu ena za nkhaniyi koma osati kwa ana anga. Ndiganiza zimenezi sizili bwino chifukwa ana akhoza kuloŵa m’vuto mosavuta ngati sauzidwa zinthu zimenezi.”

Ana angaphunzitsidwe kupeŵa kugonedwa pamene akali aang’ono. Pamene muphunzitsa ana maina a ziŵalo za thupi monga mpheto yachikazi, maŵere, kumatako, mpheto yachimuna, auzeni kuti mbali zimenezi nzabwino, kuti nzapadera—koma nzamseri. “Anthu ena saloledwa kuzikhudza—ngakhale Amayi kapena Atate—ndipotu osati adokotala kusiyapo ngati Amayi kapena Atate alipo kapena ngati avomereza zimenezo.”b Moyenerera, mawu otero ayenera kuchokera kwa makolo onse aŵiri kapena mkulu aliyense wowasunga.

M’buku la The Safe Child Book, Sherryll Kraizer akunena kuti pamene kuli kwakuti ana ayenera kukhala aufulu kunyalanyaza, kukuwa, kapena kuthaŵa wofuna kuwagona, ana ambiri amene anagonedwa anafotokoza pambuyo pake kuti sanafune kuoneka kukhala amwano. Chotero ana afunikira kudziŵa kuti achikulire ena amachita zinthu zoipa ndi kuti ngakhale mwana sayenera kumvera aliyense amene amuuza kuchita chinthu cholakwika. Panthaŵiyo mwana amakhala ndi mphamvu yokwanira ya kukana, monga momwe anachitira Danieli ndi anzake kwa achikulire a ku Babulo amene anafuna kuti iwo adye chakudya chodetsedwa.—Danieli 1:4, 8; 3:16-18.

Njira ina yophunzitsira yoyamikiridwa kwambiri ili seŵero la “Bwanji ngati . . . ?” Mwachitsanzo, mukhoza kufunsa kuti: “Bwanji ngati aphunzitsi ako akuuza kumenya mwana wina? Kodi ungachitenji?” Kapena: “Bwanji ngati (Amayi, Atate, mtsogoleri wachipembedzo, wapolisi) akuuza kulumpha kuchokera panyumba yaitali?” Yankho la mwanayo lingakhale losakwanira kapena lolakwika, koma musamuongolere mwaukali. Seŵerolo siliyenera kuphatikizapo kachitidwe kowopsa; kwenikwenidi, akatswiri amanena kuti seŵero liyenera kuchitidwa mofatsa, mwachikondi, ngakhale mwaubwenzi.

Ndiyeno, phunzitsani ana kutsutsa machitidwe osonyezera chikondi amene ali osayenera kapena amene samakondwera nawo. Mwachitsanzo, afunseni kuti, “Bwanji ngati bwenzi la Amayi ndi Atate lifuna kukupsompsona mwanjira yokuchititsa manyazi?”c Kaŵirikaŵiri ndibwino kulimbikitsa ana kuyesa zimene adzachita, kuchita nawo seŵero la “Tiyeni tiyese.”

Mwanjira yofananayo, ana angaphunzire kutsutsa machenjera ena a ogona ana. Mwachitsanzo, mungafunse kuti: “Bwanji ngati wina anena kuti, ‘Udziŵa, ndimakukonda kwambiri. Kodi sufuna kukhala bwenzi langa?’” Pamene mwana waphunzira kutsutsa machenjera otero, kambitsiranani naye ena. Mungafunse kuti: “Ngati wina anena kuti, ‘Sufuna kundikwiitsa, sichoncho kodi?’ Kodi udzanenanji?” Sonyezani mwana mmene angakanire mwa mawu ndi majesichala athupi olimba ndi oonekera. Kumbukirani, ogona ana amayesa kaŵirikaŵiri mmene ana amalabadirira njira zamachenjera. Chotero mwana ayenera kuphunzitsidwa kutsutsa kwa mtu wagalu ndi kunena kuti, “Ndidzakunenerani.”

Phunzitsani Mosamalitsa

Musamangolekezera kuphunzitsako pakukambitsirana kumodzi. Ana amafunikira kuuzidwa zinthu mobwerezabwereza. Gwiritsirani ntchito luntha lanu kudziŵa mmene kuphunzitsako kungakhalire komvekera bwino. Koma phunzitsani mosamalitsa.

Mwachitsanzo, tsimikizirani kuphunzitsa mwana kukana kupangana chilichonse ndi wogona ana. Ana ayenera kudziŵa kuti sikwabwino konse kwa wachikulire kuwapempha kubisa kanthu kalikonse kwa makolo awo. Auzeni motsimikiza kuti nkoyenera nthaŵi zonse kwa iwo kunena—ngakhale ngati analonjeza kusatero. (Yerekezerani ndi Numeri 30:12, 16.) Ogona ana ena amawopseza mwana ngati iwo akudziŵa kuti mwanayo waswa lamulo lina la banja. Uthenga wawo ngwakuti, “Ngati sudzandinenera nanenso sindidzakunenera.” Chotero ana ayenera kudziŵa kuti sadzakalipiridwa konse ngati anena—ngakhale m’mikhalidwe imeneyi. Iwo sadzavulazidwa ngati anena.

Kuphunzitsa kwanu kuyeneranso kuthandiza ana kusawopa. Ogona ana ena apha tinyama tating’ono pamaso pa mwana nawopseza kuti adzachita zofananazo kwa makolo a mwanayo. Ena achenjeza mikhole yawo kuti adzagona ang’ono awo. Chotero phunzitsani ana kuti ayenera nthaŵi zonse kunenera wowagona, mosasamala kanthu za ziwopsezo zake.

Pankhaniyi Baibulo lingakhale chiŵiya chophunzitsira chothandiza. Popeza kuti limagogomezera kwambiri mphamvu yopulumutsa ya Yehova, likhoza kuchepetsa ziwopsezo za ogona ana. Ana afunikira kudziŵa kuti mosasamala kanthu za chiwopsezo chimene chingaperekedwe, Yehova akhoza kuthandiza anthu ake. (Danieli 3:8-30) Ngakhale pamene anthu oipa avulaza awo amene Yehova amawakonda, iye nthaŵi zonse angakonze zowonongedwazo pambuyo pake ndi kuwongoleranso zinthu. (Yobu, machaputala 1, 2; 42:10-17; Yesaya 65:17) Auzeni motsimikiza kuti Yehova amaona zonse, kuphatikizapo anthu amene amachita zinthu zoipa ndi anthu abwino amene amayesayesa kuwatsutsa.—Yerekezerani ndi Ahebri 4:13.

Ochenjera Monga Njoka

Pali ogona ana ochepa amene amagwiritsira ntchito mphamvu kuti agone mwana. Nthaŵi zambiri iwo amakonda kupalana ubwenzi ndi ana choyamba. Chotero uphungu wa Yesu wa kukhala “ochenjera monga njoka” uli woyenera. (Mateyu 10:16) Kuyang’anira ana mosamalitsa kwa makolo achikondi kuli chimodzi cha zitetezo zabwino koposa zoletsa ana kugonedwa. Ogona ana ena amafunafuna mwana amene ali yekha m’khwalala nayamba kukambitsirana naye kuti adzutse chidwi cha mwanayo. (“Kodi umakonda njinga zamoto?” “Bwera udzaone tiana ta galu m’lole yanga.”) Zowona, simungakhale ndi ana anu nthaŵi zonse. Ndipo akatswiri osamalira ana amazindikira kuti ana amafunikira ufulu wakudziyendera. Koma makolo anzeru ali ochenjera ponena za kupatsa ana ufulu wopambanitsa mofulumira.

Tsimikizirani kuti mumadziŵa bwino lomwe achikulire alionse kapena achichepere okulirapo amene amakonda ana anu, mukumachenjera kwambiri posankha amene ayenera kusamalira ana anu pamene inu palibe. Chenjerani ndi alezi amene amachititsa ana anu kusamva bwino kapena kusakhala pamtendere. Mofananamo, chenjerani ndi achichepere amene aoneka kukhala ndi chikondi chopambanitsa pa ana ocheperapo ndipo alibe mabwenzi a msinkhu wawo. Pendani mosamalitsa malo osungirako ana ndi masukulu. Yenderani malo onsewo ndi kufunsa ogwirapo ntchito, mukumaona mmene iwo amachitira ndi ana. Afunseni ngati angalole kuti mudzibwera popanda lonjezo kudzaona ana anu panthaŵi yosayembekezera; ngati zimenezi siziloledwa, funani malo ena.—Onani Awake! ya December 8, 1987, masamba 3-11.

Komabe, chowonadi chopweteka nchakuti ngakhale makolo abwino koposa sangalamulire zilizonse zimene zimachitikira ana awo.—Mlaliki 9:11.

Ngati makolo agwirizana, angathe kulamulira chinthu chimodzi: mkhalidwe wa panyumba. Ndipo popeza kuti nkhanza yogona ana imachitikira kwambiri panyumba, nkhani yotsatira yazikidwa pamutu umenewu.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 7]

Anaitanira Chithandizo

“PEMPHO kwa Yehova Liletsa Wogona Ana Kuukira Wachichepere,” unalengeza motero mutu waukulu m’nyuzipepala ya ku United States ya The Arizona Republic pa May 5, 1993. Wolingaliridwa kukhala wogona ana anagwira wachichepere wa zaka 13 mwakumuwopseza ndi mfuti, namtengera kunyumba kwake. Pamene wachichepereyo analira mofuula kuti, “Yehova, ndithandizeni!” wogona anayo anachita mantha nalola mnyamatayo kupita. Pambuyo pake apolisi anagwira mwamunayo.

Pamene kuli kwakuti kuitanira padzina la Yehova kuli koyenera m’mikhalidwe yotero, sikumatanthauza kuti atumiki a Mulungu sadzaukiridwa mu “masiku otsiriza” oŵaŵitsa ano. (2 Timoteo 3:1-5, 13) Chotero makolo Achikristu ayenera kuphunzitsa ana awo kuchenjera ndi alendo onse, mosasamala kanthu za udindo umene angakhale nawo.

[Chithunzi patsamba 8]

Phunzitsani ana kugwiritsira ntchito mawu ndi majesichala athupi olimba ndi oonekera, kukanira njira zosayenera zamachenjera