Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingachite Motani ndi Makolo Osinthasintha Mtima?

“VUTO langa,” akutero Claudia, “nlakuti amayi amakalipakalipa ndi kukhala a mtima wapachala.a Tsiku lina anandifunsa mmene maphunziro anga a kuimba piyano anali kuyendera. Ndinangonena kuti anali kuyenda bwino ndi kupita kukayeseza piyano. Amayi anafika, mwaukali nati ndinali kuchita mwano, ndiyeno anachoka mwaukali. Ndinakwiya ndi kumenya papiyano ndi kuthamangira m’chipinda changa. Ndiyeno amayi anabwera nandikalipira chifukwa chakuti ndinamenya papiyano.”

Makolo angakhaledi amtima wapachala pamene ali osakondwa. Nthaŵi zina mungaone kuti muyenera kukhala wosamala kwambiri pochita nawo zinthu, mukumawopa kuti mungasulizidwe, kukalipiridwa, kapena kuimbidwa mlandu. Komabe, nkhani yakuti “Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Makolo Anga Amasinthasintha?” m’kope lapitalo la Galamukani! inasonyeza kuti nkwachibadwa kwa makolo kusinthasintha mtima kwanthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Kupsinjika maganizo, kutopa, kusakhala ndi thanzi labwino, ndi zitsenderezo za moyo kaŵirikaŵiri ndizo zimachititsa.b Kudziŵa zimenezi kungakuthandizeni kumverera chifundo makolo anu. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 19:11.) Koma sikumasintha chenicheni chakuti nthaŵi zina iwo angakhale ovuta kwambiri kuchita nawo. Kodi mungachitenji kuti muwongolere zinthu?

Zizindikiro Zochenjeza

Pa Miyambo 24:3 pamati: “Nzeru imangitsa nyumba; luntha liikhazikitsa.” Mogwirizana ndi lamulo la mkhalidwe limeneli, chinthu chimene mungachite ndicho kuyesa kuzindikira pamene makolo anu ali osakondwa. Wamasalmo anati ponena za kupsinjika mtima kwake: “Ndimayenda woliralira tsiku lonse.” (Salmo 38:6) Munthu watcheru akanazindikiradi kuti kenakake kanali kolakwika kwa iye! M’njira yofananayo, kholo kaŵirikaŵiri lidzasonyeza zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti ilo silili ndi mtima wokondwa kwenikweni.

Motero, alembi achichepere a buku lakuti The Kids’ Book About Parents anasanja ndandanda ya zizindikiro zofala zochenjeza zimene achichepere angaziyang’anire. Pakati pa zimenezi, zodziŵika kwambiri zinali zakuti makolo ‘amadya kwambiri, kusalankhula, kukagona msanga, kusakulonjerani akafika panyumba kuchokera kuntchito, kukalipira aliyense, kunyalanyaza mafunso anu,’ ndi ‘kuyang’ana dwii pa TV mosaona kanthu.’ M’mabanja ena, makolo amakhala amtima wapachala modziŵikiratu panthaŵi zina—monga ngati pamene ayenera kulipira ngongole. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, mwa kukhala watcheru mungakhoze kuona zizindikiro zochenjeza za makolo anu.

‘Kodi Chinachake Chalakwika?’

Pamenepo, kodi muyenera kuchitanji pamene muzindikira kuti kholo lili losakondwa? Kodi muyenera kumalipeŵa? Mwinamwake ayi. Pa Miyambo 15:20 pamati: “Mwana wanzeru akondweretsa atate wake.” Zimenezi sizitanthauza kuti muyenera kudzisautsa ndi mavuto auchikulire a makolo anu. Ndi iko komwe, kholo lililonse liyenera ‘kusenza katundu wake.’ (Agalatiya 6:5) Koma mukhoza kusonyezabe chikondwerero mwa iwo. Mwachitsanzo, mukhoza kufunsa mwaluso kuti: ‘Kodi chinachake chalakwika?’ (Yerekezerani ndi Nehemiya 2:1, 2.) Pangakhale zochepa chabe zimene mungachite kapena simungachite chilichonse kuti musinthe mkhalidwewo, koma iwo angayamikire nkhaŵa yanu yachikondi yowafunira mkhalidwe wabwino.

Wachichepere wina wotchedwa Kama akuyamikira njira yotsatirayi yochitira zinthu pamene kholo lokhala ndi mtima wosakondwa lifika panyumba: “Mutawalonjera, pitani m’chipinda chanu kwakanthaŵi, kufikira atakhazikika. Ndiyeno tulukani ndi kufunsa chimene chalakwika ndi mmene tsiku lawo linaliri . . . Onani ngati angakonde kuti muchite kanthu kena.” Nthaŵi zina, kungosonyeza kholo chisamaliro chofunikira kapena chikondi kungathetse kusakondwa kwawo.

M’buku lake lakuti My Parents Are Driving Me Crazy, Dr. Joyce Vedral akunena mmene mtsikana wina wotchedwa Deena anachitira ndi mkhalidwe wokwiyakwiya wa amayi ake. Deena akuti: “Pamene ndinatuluka [m’chipinda changa] ndi kuona msunamo pankhope pawo, ndinawakumbatira mwamsanga asanandiletse. Ndiyeno ndinawapsompsona ndi kunena kuti, ‘Amayi, ndimakukondani.’ Mukanaona mmene mtima wawo unasinthira—panthaŵi yomweyo.” Dr. Vedral akunena kuti: “Mankhwala abwino koposa kwa kholo lamsunamo ndiwo chikondi. . . . Chikondi ndicho chinthu chokondweretsa mtima wopsinjika.” Baibulo limanena kuti: “Chikondi chimangirira.”—1 Akorinto 8:1.

Komabe, nthaŵi zina makolo anu amaoneka kukhala okwiyitsidwa ndi inuyo. Ngati simuli wotsimikiza chifukwa chake, yesani pang’ono kuchititsa makolo anuwo kutulutsa zakukhosi kuti mwina aulule chodandaulitsa chilichonse. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 20:5.) Mwachitsanzo, mtsikana wachichepere wina wotchedwa Ruth, anaona kuti iye ndi atate ake anali “kutalikirana nthaŵi zonse” ndi kuti anakhala osuliza mopambanitsa pamagiredi ake a kusukulu. Pambuyo pamakambitsirano abanja a nkhani yakuti “Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . . ,” Ruth anafunsa chimene chinali kuvuta atate ake. “Tapeza kuti Atate anali kuyesa kupambana kupyolera mwa ana awo, popeza kuti iwo anakakamizidwa kuleka sukulu. Iwo anafuna kuti tikhale ndi malipoti olembedwa abwino koposa ochokera kusukulu.” Pamene Ruth anapeza magiredi ochepera pa amene anayembekezeredwa, atate ake anali kukwiya. Kodi kukambitsirana kwawo kunali ndi chotukukapo chotani? “Kunandithandiza kuona zinthu mwa lingaliro lawo,” iye akutero. Mwachibadwa, atate ake nawonso anafunikira kupanga masinthidwe m’kalingaliridwe kawo. Ruth akusimba kuti: “Zinthu zikuwongokera tsopano.”

Mwa kukhala ndi makambitsirano otero, mungapeze kuti makolo anu ali ndi zifukwa zomveka zokhalira okwiya kwa inu. Kangakhale kanthu kakang’ono monga kuyiŵala kwanu kuchita ntchito inayake ya panyumba. Lemba la Miyambo 10:5 limatikumbutsa kuti: “Wokolola m’malimwe ndimwana wanzeru; koma wogona pakututa ndimwana wochititsa manyazi.” Mwinamwake kukulitsa kwanu khama kungathandize kwambiri kuwongolera mtima wa makolo anu.

Chitani Mochenjera!

Komabe, nthaŵi zina kholo lingakhale losakonda kulankhulana momasuka, ndipo zoyesayesa zonse zolilimbikitsa kuchita zimenezo zingakhale zolikwiyitsa kapena kulipangitsa kukutsutsani. Pamenepo bwanji? Baibulo limatiuza mmene Davide, monga wachichepere, anayang’anizirana ndi mkhalidwe wa kukwiya msanga woterowo. Monga wachichepere, Davide ankagwira ntchito m’bwalo la Mfumu Sauli monga woyimba nyimbo. Komabe, Sauli anali wamtima wosinthasintha ndi kukwiyakwiya. Eya, panthaŵi ina Sauli anayesa kupyoza Davide kuchipupa ndi mkondo! Komabe, onani zimene Baibulo limanena pa 1 Samueli 18:14 ponena za kachitidwe ka Davide: “Ndipo Davide anakhala wochenjera m’mayendedwe ake onse; ndipo Yehova anali naye.”

Makolo oŵerengeka ali achiŵaŵa monga Mfumu Sauli. Chikhalirechobe, mufunikira kukhala wochenjera pochita nawo zinthu. Mwachitsanzo, wachichepere Sam akunena kuti: “Atate wanga sali Mkristu, ndipo ali ndi mtima wapachala! Pamene akwiyira aliyense, amazaza kwenikweni. Uyenera kusamala kwambiri chimene ufuna kunena ndi kuchita. Uyenera kuyesayesa kusawakwiyitsa.” Baibulo limanena kuti: “Wochenjera aona zoipa, nabisala; koma achibwana angopitirira, nalipitsidwa.”—Miyambo 22:3.

Izi sizitanthauza kwenikweni kuti muyenera kupeŵeratu makolo anu. Yesani kukhala wachikondi ndi woyanjana nawo monga momwe mungakwanitsire. Ngati mufunsafunsa kholo lanu la mtima wapachala mafunso osafunikira kapena nkhani zazing’ono zimene mukhoza kukambitsirana panthaŵi ina, mungakhale mukuliputa. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 15:23; 25:11.) Ndithudi, pamene ali opsinjika mtima ndi otopa, angamve mmene anachitira munthu wolungama Yobu pamene anafunsa kuti: “Mudzasautsa moyo wanga kufikira liti?” (Yobu 19:2) Chotero mudzakhala wanzeru ngati mupeŵa zizoloŵezi zilizonse zokwiyitsa zimene mudziŵa kuti zimasokosera makolo anu—zonga ngati kupanga phokoso potafuna chingamu kapena kuliza zala zanu. Mofananamo, kukakhala kusalingalira ena ngati mutsegula mopambanitsa wailesi yanu kapena wailesi yakanema.

Njira ina imene mungachitire mochenjera ndiyo kukhala woyamba kuchitapo kanthu. Kodi Amayi amakhala osakondwa nthaŵi zonse atabwera kuchokera kuntchito? Ngati ndinu muyamba kufika, bwanji osakonza pathebulo, kutaya zinyalala, kapena kutsuka mbale? Alonjereni amayi anu mwachikondi. Machitidwe oterowo angawachititse kukhala okondwa kubwerera kunyumba. Mtsikana wachichepere wina wotchedwa Julie amachita zimenezo. Iye akuti: “Amayi amayendetsa basi yonyamula ana a sukulu, ndipo kaŵirikaŵiri amabwera panyumba ali okwiya. Chotero ndimangokhala chete. Ndimawaleka okha kufikira atakhazika mtima. Ndiyeno ndimawalerera ana kapena kusesa kapena kuwachitira kanthu kena.”

Komabe, mulimonse mmene mungayesere, mkangano ngwothekerabe kubuka pamene makolo ali osakondwa kapena amtima wapachala. Pamene zichitika motero, kugwiritsira ntchito malamulo a mkhalidwe a Baibulo kungakuthandizeni kupeŵa kuipitsiratu mkhalidwe woipa kale. Mwachitsanzo, pa Miyambo 15:1 pamati: “Mayankhidwe ofatsa abweza mkwiyo; koma mawu oŵaŵitsa aputa msunamo.” Chilangizo china chowonjezereka chikuperekedwa pa Miyambo 17:27, pamene pamati: “Wopanda chikamwakamwa apambana kudziŵa; ndipo wofatsa mtima ali wanzeru.” Kumbukiraninso kuti, pamene kuli kwakuti makolo amakhala ndi mtima wosakondwa, mwachionekere pamakhalanso nthaŵi zimene amakhala okondwa, anthabwala, okondweretsedwa kukhala nanu pafupi. Yamikirani nthaŵi zimenezo, ndipo zigwiritsireni ntchito monga mpata wokulitsira maunansi abwino ndi makolo anu. Kudzachititsa nthaŵi zovutazo kukhala zabwinopo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 25]

Makolo ogwira ntchito amayamikira pamene ana awo athandiza ntchito zapanyumba