Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Bwanji Ngati Ndikondana ndi Wosakhulupirira?

“Ndili ndi vuto,” anavomereza motero msungwana wina Wachikristu. “Ndimakhumbira wachinansi wanga. Mnyamatayo ndi wokoma mtima, waulemu, ndi wolingalira ena, komano pali chinthu chimodzi chimene iye sali—wokonda Yehova. Ndikudziŵa kuti kumkonda kwanga nkulakwa, koma sindikudziŵa bwino mmene ndingachitire ndi malingaliro anga pa iye.”

Mark anali ndi zaka zakubadwa 14 pamene anali mumkhalidwe wofananawo.a Iye anakhumbira msungwana amene anali wosiyana naye chipembedzo. “Kaŵirikaŵiri ndinkayerekezera za mmene zinthu zingakhalire, titakwatirana,” iye akutero. “Koma ndinkadziŵa kuti kumeneku nkulakwa.”

KUKHUMBIRA winawake nkofala mkati mwa nyengo ya zaka za zakubadwa 13 mpaka 19, pamene chisonkhezero cha malingaliro achikondi chimakhala chachikulu. (Yerekezerani ndi 1 Akorinto 7:36.) Pokhala opanda njira yotulutsira malingaliro otero, achichepere amayedzamira pa kukulitsa kukhumbira aphunzitsi okondedwa, akatswiri amaseŵero ndi nyimbo, ndi ena otero. Popeza kuti maunansi achindunji ndi athu achikulire otero, kaŵirikaŵiri, ali osatheka kuchitika, kuwakhumbira kumeneku kaŵirikaŵiri kumangokhala kwanthaŵi yaifupi ndi kopanda ngozi yaikulu.b Komabe, bwanji ngati mwakulitsa malingaliro amphamvu otero kwa wausinkhu wanu—winawake amene ali wofunitsitsa ndi wokhoza kuchita nanu chibwenzi—komano munthuyo wangokhala wosiyana nanu pa zikhulupiriro za chipembedzo?

Ena sangaone zimenezi monga vuto. Choyamba, achichepere ambiri samakondweretsedwa kwambiri ndi chipembedzo. Ndipo ngakhale pakati pa awo amene amatero, kupalana chibwenzi ndi winawake wosiyana naye chikhulupiriro nthaŵi zina sikungatsutsidwe. Anthu a malingaliro ololera zonse angavomerezedi zimenezi. Komabe, achikulire ambiri amaona vuto lalikulu m’zibwenzi zotero, makamaka popeza kuti kaŵirikaŵiri anthuwo amadzakwatirana. Chotero wolemba nkhani wina Andrea Eagan analangiza achichepere kuti: “Kukhala achipembedzo chimodzimodzicho sikuli kofunika ngati aliyense wa inu sali wachipembedzo. Koma ngati machitachita achipembedzo ali ofunika kwa mmodzi kapena kwa nonsenu, pamenepo kusiyana m’chipembedzoko kuyenera kulingaliridwa. . . . Simufunikira kukhala ofanana pankhani ya chipembedzo . . . , koma muyenera kukhala okhoza kukhalira limodzi.”

Uphungu wotero ungamvekere kukhala wabwino. Koma kwenikweni umasonyeza “nzeru ya dziko lino lapansi.” (1 Akorinto 3:19) Baibulo limasonyeza kuti kukondana kwa pakati pa munthu wokhulupirira ndi wosakhulupirira kumadzutsa mafunso aakulu kwambiri ofunika koposa chabe kuyenerana muukwati. Achichepere amene ali pakati pa Mboni za Yehova amadziŵa kuti imeneyi ili nkhani ya kumvera Mawu a Mulungu, amene amalimbikitsa Akristu kukwatirana “mwa Ambuye.” (1 Akorinto 7:39) Popeza kuti kupalana chibwenzi sikuli chabe seŵero koma kuyambika kwa ukwati, kukakhala kosakondweretsa Mulungu kwa mmodzi wa atumiki ake kuloŵa m’chibwenzi ndi munthu wina amene sanapatulire moyo wake kwa Yehova.

Ngakhale zili choncho, Mboni zina zachichepere zakopedwa ndi osakhulupirira. Kodi zimenezi zimachitika bwanji? Kodi muyenera kuchitanji mutakhala mumkhalidwe wotero?

Mmene Zimachitikira

Choyamba, zindikirani kuti, anthu onse amaphophonya. “Adziŵitsa [zolakwa, NW] zake ndani?” anafunsa motero wamasalmo. (Salmo 19:12) Kaŵirikaŵiri achichepere amapanga zophophonya mu nkhani ya chibwenzi. Chifukwa chiyani? Kokha chifukwa chakuti alibe luntha limene limadza ndi chidziŵitso ndi msinkhu. (Miyambo 1:4) Pokhala ndi chidziŵitso chochepa munkhani ya kuchita chibwenzi ndi msungwana kapena mnyamata, Mkristu wachichepere sangadziŵe mmene angachitire ndi chikoka cha chikondi—kapena kudziwika.

Zimenezi zinali choncho kwa Sheila pamene anazindikira kuti mnzake wina wakusukulu anali kukhumbira kuchita naye chibwenzi. “Ndinadziŵa kuti anandikonda,” Sheila anatero. “Iye ankafika kwa ine mkati mwa maola a chakudya chamasana ndi kudzadya nane chakudya. Mkati mwa nyengo zoŵerenga kulaibulale, iyeyo ankandifunafuna.” Malingaliro a Sheila ponena za mnyamatayo anayamba kukula. Mark, wotchulidwa poyambayo, mofananamo akukumbukira kuti: “Nthaŵi zonse ndinkakumana ndi msungwana ameneyu m’kalasi la maseŵera olimbitsa thupi. Iye anali kuyesayesa kundifikira ndi kulankhula nane. Chibwenzi chinali chosavuta kuyambika.” Ponena za Pam wa zaka zakubadwa 14, mnyamata wina wokhala m’deralo anafikira pakumpatsa mphete monga chisonyezero cha kumkonda kwake.

Zoonadi, sinthaŵi zonse pamene Mboni imakhala yopanda liwongo lochititsa kukhumbiridwako. Msungwana wina anali kungobwezera chikondi choonekeratu kwa mnyamata wina Wachikristu wotchedwa Jim. Komabe, mnyamatayo anapanikizidwa kwambiri pamene tsiku lina msungwanayo anatulukira pa Nyumba Yaufumu ya Mboni za Yehova, akumamufunafuna!

Mulimonse mmene mikhalidweyo ingakhalire, inu mungakhale mutadziŵa kuti kuloŵa mumkhalidwewo kunali kulakwa. Koma nthaŵi zina kudziŵika ndi msungwana kapena mnyamata nkovuta. Lingalirani za Andrew. Mkati mwa chaka chake choyamba pasukulu ya sekondale, makolo ake anali kulinganiza za kusudzulana. “Ndinkafuna munthu wokambitsirana naye,” iye akukumbukira motero. Msungwana wina wa pasukulupo nthaŵi zonse anaonekera kukhala wodziŵa kumtonthoza. Posakhalitsa malingaliro amphamvu achikondi anayambika.

Ngozi

Ngati sasamaliridwa, malingaliro otero angakuloŵetseni m’mavuto aakulu. Pa Miyambo 6:27 pamati: “Kodi mwamuna angatenge moto pa chifuwa chake, osatentha zovala zake?” Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani za nkhani ya msungwana wina wotchedwa Kim. Ngakhale kuti analeredwa monga Mkristu, iye anakondana motengeka maganizo ndi mnyamata wina kusukulu. “Iye anali mmodzi wa anyamata otchuka ndi okondweretsa kusukulu,” akukumbukira motero Kim. Pasanapite nthaŵi yaitali iye mwachinsinsi anali kupita kumapwando kumene mankhwala oledzeretsa anali kugwiritsiridwa ntchito mwapoyera. “Ndinkachita mantha, komano ndinakonda mnyamatayo. Ndinakhala ndi pakati.” Kim anakwatiwa ndi bwenzi lake lachinyamatalo, koma ilo potsirizira pake linamangidwa chifukwa cha kuba ndi mfuti. Kachiŵirinso chenjezo la Baibulo linakhala loona: “Mayanjano oipa aipsa makhalidwe okoma.”—1 Akorinto 15:33.

Apatu sitikupereka lingaliro lakuti achichepere onse amene sali Mboni za Yehova n’ngachisembwere kapena kuti amagwiritsira ntchito mankhwala oledzeretsa. Koma, kwenikweni achichepere otero alibe makhalidwe, malingaliro, kapena zonulirapo zonga za Mboni zachichepere. Pa 1 Akorinto 2:14 pamafotokoza mosavuta kuti wosakhulupirira “salandira za Mzimu wa Mulungu; pakuti aziyesa zopusa; ndipo sakhoza kuzizindikira, chifukwa ziyesedwa mwauzimu.” Ganizirani mmene mikhalidwe yachipembedzo chanu yaumbira malingaliro anu—chisangalalo chimene mumakhala nacho pamisonkhano Yachikristu, chikondwerero cha kuuza munthu wina womvetsera uthenga wa m’Baibulo, chikondwerero cha kuphunzira Baibulo lenilenilo. Kodi munthu wosakhulupirira angazindikire—osatchulapo za kukhala ndi—malingaliro otero? Kutalitali.

Chotero Paulo amasonkhezera Akristu kuti: “Musakhale omangidwa m’goli ndi osakhulupira osiyana; pakuti chilungamo chigaŵana bwanji ndi chosalungama? Kapena kuunika kuyanjana bwanji ndi mdima? Ndipo Kristu avomerezana bwanji ndi Beliyali? Kapena wokhulupira ali nalo gawo lanji pamodzi ndi wosakhulupira?” (2 Akorinto 6:14, 15) Sonya wachichepere anadziŵa zimenezi poyambirira pamene anakondana motengeka maganizo ndi wosakhulupirira. Iye akuvomereza kuti: “Kukhala ndi mnzako amene alibe changu ndi chikondi cha pa Yehova ndiko kusukidwa kosayerekezereka. Kumaswetsa mtima. Pamene choonadi chili mphamvu yosonkhezera moyo wako, umasonkhezeredwa kuti uchigawane ndi wina—uyenera kutero basi! Umakhala wosakhutiritsidwadi pamene sugaŵana choonadi ndi mnzako wa muukwati chifukwa chakuti iye ndi wosakhulupirira.”

Pamenepo, m’maunansi otero, chipembedzo mwachionekere chingakhale osati maziko, koma mbali yaikulu yochititsa mkangano. Inu mungaumirizike mosavuta kunyalanyaza kukonda kwanu zinthu zauzimu kuti musungitse mtendere. Koma kuchita motero kukangowononga mkhalidwe wanu wauzimu. Msungwana wina akusimba kuti: “Ndinayandikirana kwambiri ndi mnyamata wina amene sanali Mboni. Koma pamene ubwenzi wathu unakula kwambiri, ndinazindikira kuti ndinali m’chibwenzi naye. Pang’ono ndi pang’ono ndinayamba kunyalanyaza unansi wanga ndi Yehova; unansi wanga ndi mnyamatayu unakhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa ine. Sindinkafunanso kupita ku misonkhano, kuyanjana ndi abale anga Achikristu, kapena kupita kuntchito ya kulalikira. Chinthu chokha chomwe ndinkafuna ndicho kukhala naye. Ndinakhala Mboni yofooka kwa zaka ziŵiri. Ndipo m’kuchita kwanga zonsezo, ‘mnzangayo’ sanalabadire chikondi changa kwa iye. Ndinapitiriza kuganiza kuti tsiku lina iye adzatero, koma zimenezi sizinachitike.”

Inde, kukondana ndi winawake amene ali wosiyana nanu chipembedzo ndi makhalidwe ndithudi kudzakubweretserani chisoni ndi kusoŵa chimwemwe. Njira ya nzeru ndiyo kutuluka m’goli lotero. Komano kodi mungachite zimenezo motani pamene mukondana kwambiri ndi munthu winawake? Imeneyi idzakhala nkhani ya mutu wathu wotsatira mumpambo uno.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 27]

Kodi wosakhulupirira angakhale ndi changu chofanana ndi chanu pa zinthu zauzimu?