Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingaleke Bwanji Kukondana ndi Winawake?

“NDILI ndi zaka 20 zakubadwa ndipo ndine Mboni ya Yehova yobatizidwa. Koma ndinayamba kuyanjana ndi [wosakhulupirira] wina wa zaka 28 zakubadwa. Ndinamkonda, ndipo ndinakhulupirira kuti anandikonda. Makolo anga sanadziŵe zimenezo, pakuti ndinadziŵa kuti sakalola zimenezo. Pamene anadziŵa, iwo anapwetekedwa mtima ndi kuipidwa. Sanathe kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake ndinakondana ndi munthu wakudziko.”

Analemba motero mkazi wina wachichepere Wachikristu amene tidzamutcha kuti Monique.a Nzomvetsa chisoni kunena kuti, achichepere ambiri adziloŵetsa m’mavuto ofananawo—kukhumba kukondana ndi wina kapena kupalana chibwenzi ndi wosakhulupirira, winawake amene ali wosiyana naye zikhulupiriro Zachikristu ndi miyezo ya makhalidwe. Nkhani yapitayo mumpambo uno (m’Galamukani! ino) yasonyeza kuti unansi wotero sumangonyansa Mulungu komanso umakhala wowopseza chimwemwe cha munthu ndi ubwino wake. Ruth wachichepere anazindikira zimenezi. “Ndinakondana kwambiri ndi mnyamata wina amene anali wosakhulupirira,” iye akuulula motero. “Komabe, ndinazindikira kuti ngati ndikufuna kukhala ndi unansi ndi Yehova, ndiyenera kudula unansi wanga ndi mnyamatayo.”

Ngati muli Mkristu, mwinamwake mungagwire mawu a m’Baibulo a pa Yakobo 4:4 akuti: “Kodi simudziŵa kuti ubwenzi wa dziko lapansi uli udani ndi Mulungu? Potero, iye amene afuna kukhala bwenzi la dziko lapansi adziika mdani wa Mulungu.” Koma ngati inu motengeka maganizo mukukondana kwambiri ndi wosakhulupirira, mawu ameneŵa angakhale ovuta kuwagwiritsira ntchito. Ndithudi, kulingalira zothetsa chibwenzi chanu kungakhale vuto lalikulu kwa inu. Mungamve monga ngati kuti mwavulazidwa mkati. ‘Kodi ndingaleke bwanji kukonda—kapena kulakalaka—munthu winawake?’ inu mungafunse motero.

Nthaŵi ina mtumwi Paulo anati: “Pakuti monga mwa munthu wa mkati mwanga, ine ndikondwera ndi chilamulo cha Mulungu: koma ndiona lamulo lina m’ziŵalo zanga, lilikulimbana ndi lamulo la mtima wanga, ndi kundigonjetsa kapolo wa lamulo la m’ziŵalo zanga. Munthu wosauka ine.” (Aroma 7:22-24) Mofanana ndi Paulo, inu mungakhale mukulimbana ndi malingaliro anu. Komabe, Akristu achichepere ambiri apambana m’nkhondo imeneyi ndipo ‘akwatulidwa kumoto,’ titero kunena kwake. (Yerekezerani ndi Yuda 23.) Motani? Mwa kuthetsa maunansi owonongawo chivulazo chosachiritsika chisanachitike.

Kupeza Chithandizo

Mwachitsanzo, Mark, anayamba kukhala ndi chimene anatcha kuti “kukhumba kukondana ndi wina kwakukulu” pa wosakhulupirira wina pamene anali ndi zaka 14 zokha zakubadwa. Mmalo mwa kufunafuna chithandizo, iye anayesa kubisa malingaliro akewo. Koma malingaliro ake kwa msungwanayo anapitirizabe kukula mwamphamvu. Posapita nthaŵi anayamba kuimbira foni msungwanayo mobisa. Pamene msungwanayo anayamba kumuimbiranso foni, sipanapite nthaŵi yaitali kuti makolo ake adziŵe zimene zinali kuchitika.

Musapange cholakwa chofananacho cha kuyesa kuthetsa vutolo nokha. Pa Miyambo 28:26 pamati: “Wokhulupirira mtima wakewake ali wopusa; koma woyenda mwanzeru adzapulumuka.” Kwenikweni, kodi mukanakhala mumkhalidwe umenewu poyamba pomwe ngati chiweruzo chanu sichinali choipa pang’ono? Nthaŵi zina kutengeka maganizo kwathu kumapondereza kulingalira, ndipo timafunikira chithandizo cha munthu wina wanzeru ndiponso wolingalira bwino. Mwinamwake makolo anu ndiwo amene ali mumkhalidwe wabwino kwambiri wa kukuthandizani, makamaka ngati ali owopa Mulungu. Mothekera, iwo amakudziŵani bwino kwambiri koposa wina aliyense. Panthaŵi ina iwo anali achichepere ndipo akhoza kuzindikira zimene zikukuchitikirani. Pa Miyambo 23:26, wolemba Baibulo Solomo amafulumiza kuti: “Mwananga, undipatse mtima wako, maso ako akondwere ndi njira zanga.” Bwanji osapereka mtima wanu kwa makolo anu, ndi kuwadziŵitsa kuti mukufuna chithandizo?

Jim wachichepere anachitadi zimenezo. Iye anali m’zoŵaŵa zazikulu za kukhumba kukondana ndi msungwana wina kusukulu. Iye akunena kuti: “Potsirizira pake ndinapempha makolo anga kundithandiza. Imeneyi inali mfungulo ya kugonjetsa kwanga malingaliro ameneŵa. Iwo anandithandiza kwambiri.” Pokhala atapatsidwa chichirikizo chachikondi ndi makolo ake, Jim akulangiza motere: “Ndiganiza kuti achichepere ena Achikristu sayenera kuzengereza kukambitsirana ndi makolo awo. Kambitsiranani nawo. Adzakumvetsetsani.”

Mu mkhalidwe wofananawo, wachichepere wina wotchedwa Andrew anadzipezera thandizo lina. Ponena za kufika kwake pamsonkhano wadera wa Mboni za Yehova wakwawo, iye akuti: “Imodzi ya nkhani zake inandikhudza mtima kwambiri. Woyang’anira dera anapereka uphungu wamphamvu wotsutsa kuyambitsa maunansi pakati pa asungwana ndi anyamata amene sali Akristu. Ndinadziŵa kuti ndikafunikira kuwongolera kaganizidwe kanga nthaŵi yomweyo.” Chotero kodi anachitanji? Choyamba iye anakambitsirana ndi amake, kholo lake lokha, ndi kupindula ndi uphungu wawo. Ndiyeno anafikiranso mkulu wa mumpingo wa Mboni za Yehova wamomwemo, amene anali wokhoza kumthandiza mosalekeza. Akulu ampingo angakhale “monga pobisalira mphepo, ndi pousira chimphepo” pa anthu ovutika. (Yesaya 32:2) Bwanji osafikira mmodzi wa iwo, ndi kumudziŵitsa zimene zikukuvutani?

Kuthetseratu Chibwenzi

Pamene makolo a Mark anatulukira chibwenzi chake chobisacho, anachitapo kanthu nthaŵi yomweyo. “Anandiuza mosabisa kuti ndilekeletu chibwenzicho,” Mark akutero. “Choyamba ndinawatsutsa. Tinalalatirana, ndipo ndinadzitsekera m’chipinda changa. Koma posapita nthaŵi ndinayamba kuona zenizeni, ndipo ndinazindikira kuti msungwanayo ndi ine tinali ndi zonulirapo zosiyana. Chibwenzicho sichikanatheka.” Inde, kusinkhasinkha zenizeni za mkhalidwewo kungachepetse malingaliro anuwo. Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi munthu ameneyu ali ndi zonulirapo, zikhulupiriro, ndi miyezo ya makhalidwe yonga yanga? Ngati titakwatirana, kodi munthu ameneyu adzachirikiza zoyesayesa zanga za kulambira Mulungu? Kodi munthu ameneyu ali ndi changu pa zinthu zauzimu monga ine? Kwenikweni, kodi ndi kugwirizana kotani kumene kungakhalepo m’chibwenzi chotero?’—Yerekezerani ndi 2 Akorinto 6:14-18.

Komabe, kuthetseratu chibwenzi kwanthaŵi yomweyo nkovuta. Monique, wotchulidwa poyambayo, akuvomereza kuti: “Ndinayesa kaŵiri konse kuthetsa chibwenzicho koma ndinalephera. Sindinafune kusiyana naye kotheratu. Ndinayesa kumchitira umboni, ndikumakhulupirira kuti akavomereza kuphunzira za Yehova. Iye anafikadi kamodzi pamsonkhano wa pa Sande. Koma iye analibe chikondwerero chenicheni mwa Yehova. Ndinazindikira kuti njira yoyenera inali ya kusiyana naye kotheratu.”

Zimenezi zimatikumbutsa mawu a Yesu pa Mateyu 5:30. Pamenepo iye ananena za zinthu zimene zingalepheretse munthu kuloŵa Ufumu wa Mulungu—zinthu zimene zingakhale zamtengo wapatali monga dzanja lamanja. Komabe, Yesu analangiza kuti: “Ulidule, nulitaye; pakuti nkwabwino kwa iwe kuti chimodzi cha ziŵalo zako chiwonongeke, losamuka thupi lako lonse kugehena [chizindikiro cha chiwonongeko chamuyaya].” Mogwirizana ndi lamulo limeneli, fikirani munthuyo molimba mtima ndipo “lankhulani zoona.” (Aefeso 4:25) Muli poyera—osati muli nokha kapena mumkhalidwe wosonkhezera chikondi—m’dziŵitseni mosabisa mawu kuti chibwenzicho chatha. Sheila wachichepere akukumbukira kuti: “Chimene chinandithandiza ine chinali kachitidwe kotsimikiza. Ndinaleka kudyera naye pamodzi masana. Ndinaleka kuonana naye m’nthaŵi za kuŵerenga. Sindinamubisire kaimidwe kanga.” Msungwana wina Wachikristu wotchedwa Pam anali wosabisa mawu mofananamo: “Potsirizira pake ndinamuuza kuti andisiye, ndipo ndinangomunyalanyaza.”

Kuthetsa Kupweteka kwa Mtima

Pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenziko, mungalingalire monga wamasalmo amene anati: “Ndapindika, ndawerama kwakukulu; ndimayenda woliralira tsiku lonse.” (Salmo 38:6) Kukhala ndi nyengo yachisoni nkwachibadwa. Baibulo limasonyeza kuti pali “mphindi yakugwa misozi.” (Mlaliki 3:4) Koma simufunikira kukhala wachisoni kosatha. Kupweteka kwa mtimako kudzazirala m’kupita kwa nthaŵi. “Inde,” Mark akuvomereza motero, “ndinaloŵa m’nyengo ya kupweteka kwa mtima. Makolo anga anazindikira zimenezi ndipo anasonkhezera kuyanjana kwanga ndi achichepere ena Achikristu. Zimenezi zinali zothandiza kwambiri.” Andrew, amene mofananamo anapsinjika maganizo atathetsa chibwenzi chake, akuti: “Akulu anandithandiza. Ndinadzitanganitsanso kwambiri ndi ntchito yolalikira ndi kuyanjana kwambiri ndi abale Achikristu amene anali abwino.” Inde, dzitanganitseni ndi ntchito zauzimu. (1 Akorinto 15:58) Zochita zina zakuthupi kapena maseŵera olimbitsa thupi angathandizenso. Pewani kukhala nokhanokha. (Miyambo 18:1) Chititsani maganizo anu kukhala pazinthu zimene zili zosangalatsa ndi zomangirira.—Afilipi 4:8.

Ndiponso, kumbukirani kuti Yehova adzakondwera ndi kaimidwe kanu kolimba mtima. Khalani womasuka kumufikira m’pemphero kaamba ka chithandizo ndi chichirikizo. (Salmo 55:22; 65:2) “Ndinali kupemphera kwambiri,” akukumbukira motero Sheila wachichepereyo. Ayi, kuthetsa chibwenzi changozi nkovuta. Sheila akuvomereza kuti: “Ngakhale kuti chinatha, nthaŵi zina ndimaganiza za mnyamatayo ndi kudabwa zimene akuchita. Koma munthuwe umamatira pachosankha chako, podziŵa kuti ukukondweretsa Yehova.”

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 31]

Dziŵitsani munthuyo mosabisa mawu kuti chibwenzicho chatha