Makolo Sankhani Mwanzeru Zoseŵeretsa za Mwana Wanu

ANA ali “cholandira cha kwa Yehova,” limatero Baibulo. (Salmo 127:3) Chotero makolo owopa Mulungu amazindikira thayo lawo la kuphunzitsa ana awo “m’maleredwe ndi chilangizo cha Ambuye.” (Aefeso 6:4) Iwo samasiya thayolo kwa opanga zoseŵeretsa kuti aumbe maumunthu a ana awo.

Zoseŵeretsa zikhoza kuchita mbali yaikulu ya kusonkhezera kukula kwa mikhalidwe yabwino ya mtima ndi maganizo a ana. Komabe, zimenezi sizimatanthauza kuti makolo ayenera kuwononga ndalama zochuluka pa zopangapanga za luso lapamwamba. Zoseŵeretsa zina zabwino koposa ndi zotsitsimula zidzangokutaitsani ndalama zochepa kwambiri.

Bokosi lokha lingapangidwe nyumba yoseŵeretsa, ndege, kapena kanthu kalikonse kamene maganizo anthete a mwana angayerekezere. Kachitini ndi kafosholo zingatheketse mwana kumanga nsanja zazitali zadothi. Timatabwa, seŵero la kulumikiza zidutswa za chithunzi, dongo, ndi ma crayon zonsezo zingapereke maola a kusanguluka koyenera. Kwa ana osinkhukirapo, zinthu zojambulira zithunzithunzi pamanja ndi zipangizo zochitira ntchito ya pamtima zingawaphunzitse maluso othandiza ndi kupereka mpata wa kuphunzira kulenga zinthu—zokhutiritsa kwambiri koposa mapokoso ndi zithunzithunzi za pa vidiyo.

Zochita zina za maseŵera sizimafuna zipangizo zapadera konse. Kaulendo kowongola miyendo m’nkhalango kangakhale chochitika chokondweretsa kwa mwana, makamaka pamene ali ndi kholo lachikondi, lokonda kuthera nthaŵi ndi mwanayo. Inde, ngakhale maluso ofunika a panyumba angaphunzitsidwe monga maseŵera. M’buku lake lakuti Your Growing Child, Penelope Leach akulemba kuti: “Kuphika keke kapena chakudya china, kutipula m’dimba, kutsuka galimoto kapena kupenta siling’i, kugula zinthu kapena kusambika khanda zonsezo zingakhale ntchito kwa inu, koma kwa mwana wanu zingakhale pakati pa maseŵera okondeka koposa.”

Zitsogozo Zisanu ndi Ziŵiri Zothandiza

Ndithudi, zoseŵeretsa zopangidwa ndi makampani zikhoza kukhala ndi malo ake. Ndipo ngati ndalama za banja zilola zimenezo, mungadzifunse mafunso otsatiraŵa musanagule:

1. Kodi choseŵeretsacho chidzakulitsadi chidwi cha mwana wanga ndi luso la kuyerekezera zinthu m’maganizo? Ngati iyayi, iye adzasungulumwa nacho mofulumira. Choseŵeretsa chingaoneke kukhala chabwino m’kusatsa malonda kwa pa TV, koma kumbukirani kuti: Oseŵera mbali za anawo, amuna ndi akazi analipiridwa ndalama kuti aonekere kukhala okondweretsedwa ndi choseŵeretsacho. Mwinamwake mwana wanu sangakondwere nacho. Yesani kumpenyerera pamene akuseŵera kapena pamene ali m’sitolo ya zoseŵeretsa. Kodi ndi zoseŵeretsa za mtundu wanji zimene amakhumbira?

Makolo nthaŵi zina amalingalira kuti choseŵeretsa chili chopanda phindu ngati sichili “chophunzitsa.” Komabe, profesa Janice T. Gibson akutikumbutsa kuti: “Ana amaphunzira kuchokera ku zoseŵeretsa zonse zimene amaseŵera nazo. Chimene chili chofunika nchakuti akhale okondweretsedwa kotero kuti apitirize kuseŵera m’njira zimene zili zabwino kwa iwo.”

2. Kodi choseŵeretsacho nchoyenera kaamba ka maluso a mwana wanga akuthupi ndi amaganizo? Nthaŵi zina mwana angakhale wopanda mphamvu kwenikweni, wosaleza mtima, kapena wosapepuka manja kuti aseŵere ndi choseŵeretsa chakutichakuti. Komabe, kholo lingakonde kuchigula chifukwa chakuti nchochititsa kaso. Koma kodi mnyamata wa zaka zitatu angayendetsedi sitima yamagetsi yoseŵeretsa—kapena kugwiritsira ntchito choponyera mpira wa baseball? Bwanji osayembekezera kufikira pamene mwana wanu wafika pamsinkhu wokhoza kuzindikira bwino zoseŵeretsa zoterozo?

3. Kodi choseŵeretsacho nchosavulaza? Ana aang’ono amakonda kuika kalikonse m’kamwa mwawo ndipo akhoza kutsamwitsidwa mosavuta ndi zidutswa za mtengo kapena za pulasitiki. Zinthu zakuthwa kapena zosongoka zingakhale zowopsa kwa ana a msinkhu uliwonse. Mungadzifunsenso ngati choseŵeretsacho chikhoza kuponyedwa kwa mwana wina kapena kummenya nacho.

Mu United States, zoseŵeretsa zina zimalembedwapo kusonyeza misinkhu imene zinalinganizidwira. Kutsatira malangizo oterowo kungatetezere mwana wanu kusavulala. Ngati mukukayikira ponena za choseŵeretsa china, yesani kufunsa wogulitsa ngati ali ndi china chosonyezera mmene chimagwirira ntchito kuti muchipende.

4. Kodi choseŵeretsacho nchopangidwa bwino ndipo nchokhalitsa? “Ana aang’ono amene amakonda kugwetsa, kuponya, ndi kulaŵa kalikonse angawononge zoseŵeretsa zosalimba,” akutikumbutsa motero magazini a Parents.

5. Kodi choseŵeretsacho nchoyenerera ndalamazo? Osatsa malonda pa TV samatchula mtengo kaŵirikaŵiri, koma zoseŵeretsa nzokwera mtengo. Ndalama zambiri zimalipiridwa kaamba ka dzina la opanga m’malo mwa zinthu zenizeni zimene zinagwiritsiridwa ntchito kuzipanga. Ndiponso, kaŵirikaŵiri osatsa malonda amakulitsa ziyembekezo zosafikirika mwa ana, zimene zingachititse kugwiritsidwa mwala kwakukulu.

Phunzitsani ana anu kukhala ogula ochenjera. Miyambo 14:15 imati: “Wachibwana akhulupirira mawu onse; koma wochenjera asamalira mayendedwe ake.” Nkhani ina mu The New York Times inati: “Nthaŵi zina mungatchule pasadakhale chifukwa chake choseŵeretsa chakutichakuti sichili chopangidwa bwino kapena chifukwa chake icho chimasatsidwa mwanjira yosokeretsa.” Times inawonjezera kuti: “Ana amakhala ogula zinthu ochenjera kwambiri ngati ndalamazo zikuchokera m’thumba lawo m’malo mwa lanu.”

Ndithudi, phindu lenileni la choseŵeretsa limaloŵetsamo zambiri kuposa chabe zopangira zake kapena luso lochipangira. Zinthu zofunika kwambiri ndizo ukulu umene mwana wanu adzachigwiritsira ntchito, ndi ukulu wa chisangalalo chimene adzachipeza mwa icho. Akatungwe olenjekeka kumbuyo kwanyumba angakhale okwera mtengo, koma angapereke chisangalalo cha maola ambiri kwa nyengo ya zaka zambiri. Choseŵeretsa chotsika mtengo chimene chimatha ntchito mwamsanga chingakhale chowonongetsa ndalama m’kupita kwanthaŵi.

6. Kodi choseŵeretsacho chimaphunzitsa mikhalidwe ndi miyezo yotani? Profesa wa maphunziro a za ana David Elkind akuchenjeza kuti “zoseŵeretsa ziyenera kusonkhezera kuyerekezera zinthu m’maganizo kwa ana m’njira zabwino, osati zoipa.” Peŵani zoseŵeretsa zowopsa, zimene mwachionekere zimachirikiza chiwawa, kapena zimene zimafanizira machitidwe oipa a achikulire, onga kutchova juga.

Bwanji ponena za zoseŵeretsa zosonyeza anthu a m’nthano zakale kapena nthanthi za sayansi? Kaŵirikaŵiri nthano zoterozo zimanena za chipambano cha anthu abwino pa oipa. Motero, makolo ena amaona ‘mbali zamatsenga’ m’nthano zimenezi kukhala zosangalatsa wamba za kuyerekezera zinthu m’maganizo kwa mwana ndipo samaona upandu wa kulola ana awo kusangalala nazo. Ena angawope kuti nthanozo zingakulitse chikondwerero m’zinthu zamalaulo zimenezo. (Deuteronomo 18:10-13) Mwakusaŵeruza ena, makolo ayenera kupanga chosankha chawo pankhani imeneyi, akumalingalira ziyambukiro zimene nthano zoterozo—ndi zoseŵeretsa zilizonse zokhudza zimenezo—zili nazo pa ana awo.

Kumbukiraninso lamulo la mkhalidwe la pa 1 Akorinto 10:23 lakuti: “Zinthu zonse ziloleka; koma sizipindula zonse.” Pamene kuli kwakuti choseŵeretsa chotchuka sichingakhale chosayenera kwa inu, kodi icho chilidi chopindulitsa kuchigula? Kodi chingakwiyitse kapena kukhumudwitsa ena?

Zoseŵeretsa zimene zimanenedwa kukhala zophunzitsa ziyeneranso kupendedwa mosamalitsa ndi makolo, makamaka pamene zionekera kukhala zophunzitsa nkhani za kugonana ndi za pathupi. Kodi mwanayo ali pamsinkhu wofunikira chidziŵitso chimenecho? Kodi chidziŵitsocho chingaperekedwe bwinopo mwa makambitsirano a pakati pa inu ndi mwana wanu?a Zoseŵeretsa zina zingapereke malingaliro akuthupi a nkhanizo, koma kodi zimapereka maganizo abwino a makhalidwe?

7. Kodi ndikufunadi kuti mwana wanga akhale ndi choseŵeretsa chimenechi? Mwinamwake mungaone kuti mwana wanu ali kale ndi zoseŵeretsa zambiri, kuti choseŵeretsacho sichili chofunikira m’mikhalidwe yanu, kapena kuti choseŵeretsacho chimapanga phokoso kwambiri limene limakusokoserani. Ngati mavuto oterowo sangathetsedwe, mwinamwake muyenera kukana. Zimenezi nzovuta. Koma kugonjera pachofuna chilichonse cha mwana sikudzathandiza mwana wanu kukula monga wachikulire wolingalira bwino. Onani lamulo la mkhalidwe la pa Miyambo 29:21 (NW) kuti: “Ngati wina alekerera kapolo wake [kapena mwana] kuchokera paunyamata kumkabe mtsogolo, iye atakula adzakhaladi wosayamikira.”

Zimenezi sizitanthauza kuti monga kholo, mudzafunikira kukhala woumirira ndi wosalolera. Zimenezo zidzangochititsa mwana wanu kukwiya ndi kuipidwa. “Nzeru yochokera kumwamba . . . ili yololera.” (Yakobo 3:17, NW) Katswiri wa chisamaliro cha ana wina ananena motere: “Mufunikira kukhala pansi ndi mwana wanu ndi kufotokoza mosamalitsa chifukwa chake simufuna kumpatsa zoseŵeretsa zakutizakuti.”

Zinthu Zina Zofunika Kwambiri Kuposa Zoseŵeretsa

Pamene kuli kwakuti zoseŵeretsa zingakhale zipangizo zaphindu pa kuphunzitsa ndi kusangalatsa, izo ndi zinthu chabe. Mwana angakonde choseŵeretsa, koma choseŵeretsacho sichingakonde mwana. Ana amafunikira chisamaliro chachikondi chimene makolo okha ndiwo angachipereke. “Kholo makamaka ndilo choseŵeretsa chabwino koposa zonse zopangidwapo,” akutero Dr. Magdalena Grey. Pamene makolo aseŵera ndi ana awo, amathandiza kupanga unansi wolimba wa mtima ndi kuchirikiza kukula kwa maganizo abwino ndi mikhalidwe ya mtima.

Inde, ana amafunikira maseŵera oyenera. Koma chofunika kwambiri, iwo amafunikira chitsogozo cha makhalidwe ndi chauzimu. “Moyo wosatha ndi uwu,” likutero Baibulo, “kuti akadziŵe Inu Mulungu woona yekha, ndi Yesu Kristu amene munamtuma.” (Yohane 17:3) Makolo akhoza kuchita mbali yaikulu ya kuthandiza ana awo kupeza chidziŵitso chopulumutsa moyo chimenechi. Mabanja pakati pa Mboni za Yehova amayesa kuchititsa phunziro la Baibulo kukhala mbali ya moyo wawo wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Kaŵirikaŵiri amachita zimenezo mothandizidwa ndi zofalitsidwa zonga ngati Bukhu Langa la Nkhani za Baibulo, Kumamumvetsera Mphunzitsi Wamkuruyo, ndi Mafunso Achichepere Akufunsa—Mayankho Amene Amathandiza, zimene zalembedwera makamaka achichepere.b Mabuku ameneŵa samangosangalatsa—athandiza ana zikwi zambiri kukulitsa chikhulupiriro cholimba mwa Mulungu. Ana amayamikiranso makaseti a madrama a Baibulo ndi a zofalitsidwa zonga ngati Munthu Wamkulu Woposa Onse Amene Anakhalako.*

Chotero Akristu oona amachita zambiri kuposa kungoseŵera ndi ana awo—iwo amapempheranso nawo, kuphunzira nawo, ndi kulankhula nawo. Kupereka chisamaliro chachikondi chotero kumatenga nthaŵi ndi kuyesayesa kwakukulu. Koma m’kupita kwanthaŵi, kumadzetsa chisangalalo chokhalitsa kwambiri kwa mwana kuposa seŵero lina lililonse kapena choseŵeretsa chokongola!

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Zithunzi pamasamba 8, 9]

Ana amasangalala ndi zoseŵeretsa zopangidwa panyumba—mitanga yoikamo zovala zakuda imakhala magalimoto; mabokosi a nsapato amakhala masitima