Kulera Ana a Ena—Kodi Ndiyenera Kukuona Motani?

NKOSAKAYIKIRITSA konse kuti mavuto angakhalepo ngati makolo olera mwanayo alekana kapena ngati wina amwalira. Koma ali mwana woleredwayo amene amavutika kwambiri. Chifukwa ninji?

Ambiri a ife timadziŵa makolo athu otibereka. Ngakhale ngati anamwalira tikali aang’ono, timakumbukira, kapena mwinamwake tili ndi zithunzithunzi zina, zotikumbutsa bwino. Komano, bwanji ponena za khanda loperekedwa kuti likaleredwe litangobadwa? Bungwe loyang’anira pa ana olera limakhala ndi maumboni onse a amayi wake, koma chidziŵitso chimenecho sichimaperekedwa kufikira mwana atafika pamsinkhu woyenera. Nthaŵi zina, amayi wake amalembetsa dzina lawo pa chipepala cha kubadwa koma amasiyapo la atate wake. Makanda ena ndi ongotoledwa—opezedwa atasiyidwa ndi makolo osadziŵika. Ana a m’mikhalidwe yonseyi amakhala alibe mizu—angamve kukhala opanda kwawo.

Kodi Ngokhazikika Motani?

Mitengo imafunika kukhala ndi mizu yabwino kuti ikhale yolimba. Nthemanthema yatsopano yomezetsedwa ku mtengo wokhwima ingakule bwino, komanso inganyale ndi kulephera kubala zipatso. Mofananamo, ngakhale kuti makolo olera angapereke chisamaliro chonse ndi kudzipereka kwachikondi monga mwa kukhoza kwawo, ana ena samachira konse pa vuto la kukhala opanda mizu.

Talingalirani za nkhani ya Kate.a Wobadwa kwa makolo a ku West Indies, Kate anatengedwa akali khanda kukaleredwa ndi banja lachiyera, lachikondi ndi losamala, koma sanazoloŵere malo ake okhala atsopano. Pamene anali ndi zaka 16, anachoka panyumba, osabwereranso. Mkwiyo panthaŵiyo unakhala udani wopanda nzeru. “Kodi nchifukwa ninji amayi wanga anandipereka kwa inu?” ankafunsa motero. Mwachisoni, banjali silinakhoze kuthetsa vutoli.

Mervyn anaperekedwa kuti akasamaliridwe ndi bungwe la boma lakumaloko atangobadwa ndiyeno anakhala ndi makolo omlera kwakanthaŵi. Pamene anali ndi miyezi isanu ndi inayi, anatengedwa kukaleredwa. Umoyo wake woyambirira wopanda chisungiko, pamodzi ndi mkwiyo wake waukulu wa kukhala wa fuko losanganikana, zinafesa mzimu wachipanduko mwa iye zikumamdzetsera mavuto ambiri ndi chisoni chachikulu pa makolo omlera, amene anamchitira zambiri. “Ngati aliyense anandipempha uphungu ponena za kulera ana a ena,” amayi wake anatero, “ndinganene tsopano kuti, ‘Muganizirepo bwino.’”

Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, talingalirani za chochitika cha Robert ndi Sylvia. Iwo anali ndi mwana mmodzi wamwamuna ndipo sanakhalenso ndi ena. “Kodi mwaganizirapo za kukhala ndi mwana wakudziko lina?” anafunsidwa motero. Posapita nthaŵi anayamba kulera Mak-Chai, khanda lachikazi la miyezi isanu ndi inayi la ku Hong Kong. “Nthaŵi zambiri ndimadzifunsa chimene anandisiyira,” akutero Mak-Chai, “ndi kuti kaya ndili ndi abale kapena alongo alionse. Koma ndiganiza kuti ndili woyandikana kwambiri ndi amayi ndi atate wanga ondilera kuposa mmene ana ambiri alili kwa makolo awo owabereka. Ndikanadziŵa makolo anga ondibereka, sizikanasiyana kwambiri, kusiyapo kungoti mwinamwake ndikanadziŵa bwinopo chifukwa chimene ndilili ndi mikhalidwe yakutiyakuti.” Kodi makolo ake omlera akuyamikira kulera ana a ena? “Inde,” iwo akutero, “chifukwa kwatiphunzitsa zambiri!”

Zifukwa Zokhalira Wochenjera

Graham ndi Ruth anatenga ana aŵiri akali makanda kuti akaŵalere, wamwamuna ndi wamkazi, kuwagwirizanitsa ndi mwana wawo wamwamuna ndi wamkazi. Ana onse anayi anakuzidwa monga banja limodzi logwirizana m’mikhalidwe yabwino. “Ana athu onse anachoka panyumba zaka zingapo kumbuyoku kukadzikhalira. Nthaŵi zonse timalankhuzana ndipo onse timawakonda,” akutero Ruth. Koma mwachisoni, ana aŵiriwo olera anali ndi mavuto aakulu. Chifukwa ninji?

“Dokotala wathu anatiuza kuti chofunika kwambiri kwa mwana ndicho mikhalidwe imene akukhalamo,” akutero Graham, amene tsopano akuona kuti mikhalidwe yobadwa nayo ilinso mbali yaikulu. Akuwonjezera kuti: “Ndiponso, bwanji ponena za thanzi la amayi pamene khanda lawo linali m’mimba? Tikudziŵa tsopano kuti anamgoneka, moŵa ndi fodya, zingayambukire mwana wosabadwa. Ndikulimbikitsa kufufuza makolo onse aŵiri mosamalitsa, ndipo ngakhale agogo ake ngati nkotheka, musanatenge mwana kuti mukamlere.”

Amake Peter anakwatiwanso, ndipo atate opeza anamchitira nkhanza Peter mwa kummenya ndi kumnyoza. Atakhala ndi zaka zitatu, anampereka kuti akaleredwe ndi ena. “Ndinawakana makolo anga oti akandilere nditangotuluka m’bwalo la milandu,” anatero Peter. Anawonjezera kuti: “Ndinawononga chilichonse chimene ndinakhoza. Ndikagona ndinali kukhala ndi maloto owopsa kwambiri. Ndikamakumbukira zakumbuyozo tsopano, ndimaona mmene ndinalili wosokonekera kwambiri. Pamenenso makolo anga ondilera analekana, zinthu zinaipiratu kwa ine—anamgoneka, kuba, kuwononga zinthu, michezo yamasiku onse.

“Pamene ndinali ndi zaka 27, sindinaone chifukwa chopitirizira kukhala ndi moyo ndipo ndinalingalira za kudzipha. Ndiyeno tsiku lina munthu wina anandipatsa trakiti lozikidwa pa Baibulo limene linanena kuti posachedwapa dziko lapansili lidzakhala paradaiso. Uthenga umenewu unandikondweretsa. Unamveka kukhala woona. Ndinayamba kuŵerenga ndi kuphunzira Baibulo ndi kuyamba kusintha moyo wanga ndi mkhalidwe wanga, koma kaŵirikaŵiri ndinkabwereranso ku mikhalidwe yanga yakale. Pambuyo pa kulimbikitsidwa kwambiri ndiponso mayanjano othandiza achikristu, ndikumva kukhala wachimwemwe kwambiri tsopano ndi wosungika kwambiri pa kutumikira Mulungu kuposa ndi mmene ndikanalingalirira zaka zingapo kumbuyoku. Ndakhozanso kuutsanso unansi wachikondi ndi amayi anga, chimene chili chinthu chosangalatsa kwambiri.”

Kuyang’anizana ndi Zenizeni

Kunena za kulera ana a ena, pamakhala kukhudzidwa mtima. Chikondi ndi kuyamikira kopitiriza zimaonekera pamodzi ndi mkwiyo ndi kusayamikira. Mwachitsanzo, Edgar Wallace sanakhululukire konse amayi ake chifukwa chakuti anamsiya, malinga ndi mmene anaonera kachitidwe kawo. M’chaka chomalizira cha moyo wawo, anapita kukamuona akumafuna thandizo landalama mozengereza, koma Edgar, ndi chuma chimene anali nacho panthaŵiyo, anawabweza mopanda chifundo. Mwamsanga pambuyo pake, pamene anauzidwa kuti amayi ake akanaikidwa m’manda a anthu osauka ngati mabwenzi amene analipirira maliro awo sanachite chifundo, anamva chisoni chifukwa cha kusalingalira kwake.

Anthu amene akulingalira za kulera ana a ena ayenera kukonzekera kuyang’anizana ndi mavuto enieni ndi zitokoso zenizeni zimene zingabuke. Si nthaŵi zonse pamene ana amayamikira zimene makolo awo—owalera kapena owabereka—amawachitira, ngakhale m’mikhalidwe yabwino koposa. Baibulo, kwenikweni, limanena za anthu m’tsiku lathu kukhala “opanda chikondi chachibadwidwe” ndi “osayamika” ndi “osayera mtima.”—2 Timoteo 3:1-5.

Kumbali ina, kutsegula nyumba yanu—ndi mtima wanu—kwa mwana amene akufuna makolo kungakhale chinthu chabwino ndi cholemeretsa. Mwachitsanzo, Cathy amayamikira kwambiri makolo ake omlera pa kumpatsa nyumba yachikristu ndi kusamalira zosoŵa zake zakuthupi ndi zauzimu.—Onani bokosi lakuti “Kwa Ife Zinagwira Ntchito,” patsamba 8.

Pofotokoza mmene amamvera ponena za ana awo olera aamuna ndi aakazi, makolo a ana otero angakumbukiredi mawu a wamasalmo akuti: “Ana ndiwo mphatso ya kwa Ambuye; iwo ndiwo dalitso lenileni.”—Salmo 127:3, Today’s English Version.

[Mawu a M’munsi]