Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Ndikhale Wochezeka?

“Sindikonda kulankhulalankhula. Ndimaganiza kuti ngati nditanena kanthu, andiseka. Mayi anga ali ndi manyazi kwambiri, ndiganiza kuti n’chifukwa chake inenso ndili wamanyazi.”—Artie.

KODI nthaŵi zina m’mafuna mutakhala a manyazi pang’ono, komanso ansangala ndi wochezeka? Monga momwe nkhani ya m’mbuyo ija inanenera, manyazi ndi vuto lofala kwambiri.a Chotero palibe cholakwika chilichonse ngati m’makhala phee, kapena wofatsa. Koma manyazi onyanyira angakhale vuto lenileni. Kuwonjezera apo, angathe kukulepheretsani kukhala ndi abwenzi. Ndiponso kungakhale kovuta kukhala womasuka kapena kuchita zinthu zina molongosoka pagulu.

Ngakhale achikulire kaŵirikaŵiri amalimbana ndi vuto la manyazi. Barryb ndi mkulu mumpingo wachikristu, koma amakhala duu akakhala pagulu. Iye anavomereza kuti: “Ndimaona ngati kuti sindingalankhule chilichonse chanzeru.” Mkazi wake Diane, ali ndi vuto lofananalo. Amalithetsa bwanji? Iye anati: “Ndimakonda kukhala ndi anthu ochezeka chifukwa chakuti ndimaganiza kuti ndikasoŵa chonena azilankhula ndiwo.” Kodi njira zina zimene mungatsate kuti inu mwini mukhale wochezeka n’zotani?

Lekani Kudzikayikira

Choyamba, mungafunikire kupendanso mmene mumadzionera. Kodi nthaŵi zonse m’makonda kudzikayikira, kunena kuti ena sakukondani kapena kuti mulibe chilichonse choti munganene? Kukhala ndi maganizo odzikayikira kungakulepheretseni kukhala wochezeka. Ndiponsotu, Yesu anati: “Uzikonda mnzako monga udzikonda iwemwini” osati m’malo mwa iwemwini! (Mateyu 19:19) Chotero n’kwabwino ndiponso n’koyenera kudzikonda inumwini kumlingo woyenerera. Zimenezi zingakupatseni chidaliro chofunika kuti muthe kukonda ena.

Ngati maganizo odzimva kukhala wopanda pake akukuvutitsani, zingakuthandizeni mutaŵerenga nkhani yakuti, “Kodi N’chifukwa Ninji Sindimadzikonda?” M’buku lakuti Mafunso Achichepere Akufunsa—Mayankho Amene Amathandiza, pa mutu 12.c Chidziŵitso chimenecho chingakuthandizeni kuona kuti muli ndi zambiri zofunika panokha monga munthu. Indedi, chokhacho choti ndinu Mkristu chikusonyeza kuti Mulungu amaona zinthu zina zofunika mwa inu! Ndiponsotu, Yesu anati: “Kulibe mmodzi akhoza kudza kwa Ine koma ngati Atate wondituma Ine am’koka iye.”—Yohane 6:44.

Khalani Achidwi ndi Ena

Miyambo 18:1 imalangiza kuti: “Wopanduka afunafuna chifuniro chake.” Inde, ngati m’madzipatula, mosakayika mudzafuna kuganiza za inu mwini basi. Afilipi 2:4 amatilimbikitsa kuti, “munthu yense asapenyerere zake za iye yekha, koma yense apenyererenso za mnzake.” Pamene mukuyesetsa kufuna kukwaniritsa zofuna ndi zosoŵa za ena, m’makhala osadzikonda. Ndipo kuganizira za ena kwambiri, kudzakusonkhezerani kuchita zotheka kuti mudziŵane nawo bwinobwino.

Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani za Lidiya, mkazi amene wakhala akudziŵika monga chitsanzo cha ubwenzi ndi kuchereza. Baibulo limatiuza kuti atamva mawu kuchokera kwa mtumwi Paulo ndipo n’kubatizidwa, Iye anapempha Paulo ndi anzake kuti: “Ngati mwandiyesera ine wokhulupirika kwa Ambuye, muloŵe m’nyumba yanga.” (Machitidwe 16:11-15) Ngakhale kuti anali wokhulupirira watsopano, Lidiya anachita zotheka kuti adziŵe abale ameneŵa bwino lomwe ndipo mosakayika konse analandira madalitso ochuluka chifukwa cha zimenezo. Paulo ndi Sila atamasulidwa kundende, kodi anapita kuti? N’zochititsa chidwi kudziŵa kuti, anabwereranso ku nyumba ya Lidiya!—Machitidwe 16:35-40.

Mofananamo, mudzaona kuti anthu ambiri adzachitapo kanthu chifukwa cha chidwi chomwe mwasonyeza kwa iwo. Kodi mungayambe bwanji kuchita zimenezi? Nawa malingaliro angapo othandiza pankhani imeneyi.

● Yambani pang’onopang’ono. Kukhala munthu wochezeka sikutanthauza kuti uchite kukhala munthu wosadutsa mphepo pakamwa kapena wotchuka n’kulakatula nkhani. Yesetsani kulankhula ndi anthu, m’modzi ndi m’modzi. Mungalinganize kuti muzilankhula ndi munthu m’modzi patsiku lililonse limene mwapita ku misonkhano yachikristu. Tayesani kumwetulira. Zoloŵerani kumayang’ana munthu maso ndi maso.

● Limbani mtima poyamba kulankhula. Mwina mungafunse kuti, ‘Ndingatero motani?’ Eya, ngati inuyo mulidi ndi chidwi ndi anthu ena, kudzakhala kosavuta kuti mupeze choti mulankhule nawo. Wachinyamata wina ku Spain dzina lake Jorge anati: “Ndaona kuti mwakungowapatsa moni ena kapena kuwafunsa ntchito yomwe akugwira zimathandiza kudziŵana ndi anthu mokulirapo.” Wachinyamata wina dzina lake Fred ananena kuti: “Ngati simukudziŵa choti munene, mungoyamba kufunsa mafunso.” N’zoona kuti muyenera kuchenjera kuti anthu asachite kudzimva kuti akufunsidwa mafunso. Ngati munthu akuoneka kuti sakufuna kuyankha mafunso, yesani kucheza naye nkhani zanu zina.

Mary, kholo la wachinyamata wina anati: “Ndazindikira kuti njira yabwino yakuti anthu azikhala omasuka ndiyo kuwalola kuti afotokoze zawo.” Wachinyamata wotchedwa Kate, anawonjezera kuti: “Kuyamikira kavalidwe kapena zinthu zina kumathandiza, ndipo kumachititsa anthuwo kudzimva kuti amakondedwa.” Koma, muzinena zenizeni ndipo pewani kulankhula kongofuna kusangalatsa munthu. (1 Atesalonika 2:5) Anthu nthaŵi zambiri adzakondwera ndi mawu oona amene ali achifundo ndi okoma.—Miyambo 16:24.

● Khalani womvetsera wabwino. Baibulo limati: ‘Khalani wotchera khutu, wodekha polankhula.’ (Yakobo 1:19) Ndiiko komwe, zokambirana zimakhala zosiyiranasiyirana, osati munthu m’modzi yekha azingolankhula. Chotero ngati m’machita manyazi n’kulankhula, pamenepa pokha ndi mwayi wanu! Anthu amakonda amvetseri abwino.

● Khalani pamodzi ndi ena. Mutadziŵa bwino luso la kulankhula ndi munthu m’modzim’modzi, yesani kulankhula pa gulu. Apanso, misonkhano yachikristu ili malo oyenera kuti mupeze luso limeneli. Nthaŵi zina njira yapafupi yocheza pagulu ndiyo kuloŵa nawo pa zokambirana zimene zayambika kale. Komabe, kuchita zinthu monga wamkulu ndiponso makhalidwe abwino n’zofunika pamenepa. Wosaloŵerera mopanda ulemu nkhani zimene mukuoneratu kuti n’zachinsinsi. Koma ngati n’zoonekeratu kuti gululo likungocheza nkhani wamba, kakhaleni nawo pamenepo. Khalani wa luntha; wosamadula pakamwa ena ndi kuyamba kulankhula mosapatsa mpata anzanu. Yesani kuyamba mwamvetsera kaye, ndipo mutakhazikika mungafune kuperekapo ndemanga zingapo.

● Musadere nkhaŵa ndi kufuna kulankhula zangwiro. Nthaŵi zina achinyamata amada nkhaŵa kwambiri kuti alankhula zinthu zolakwa. Mtsikana wina ku Italy dzina lake Elisa anakumbukira kuti: “Nthaŵi zonse sindinali kulankhulapo chilichonse, poopa kunena zinthu zosayenera.” Komabe, Baibulo limatikumbutsa kuti tonsefe tili opanda ungwiro, chotero kulankhula mawu angwiro n’kosatheka kwa ife. (Aroma 3:23; yerekezani ndi Yakobo 3:2.) Elisa anati: “Ndinazindikira kuti ameneŵa ndi mabwenzi anga, chotere adzamvetsa ngati n’talankhula zolakwika.”

● Khalani wanthabwala. Zoonadi kuti, kulankhula zinthu zosayenera n’kochititsa manyazi. Koma monga momwe Fred anaonera, “ngati utakhala womasuka ndi kudziseka wekha, mwamsanga manyaziwo amachoka. Mavuto aang’ono amakula ngati mwadzikwiyitsa, kudzikhumudwitsa, kapena kumadzidandaula.”

● Khalani woleza mtima. Dziŵani kuti si onse amene adzakuzoloŵerani mwamsanga. Pa zokambirana, kusiya kulankhula kwakanthaŵi sizitanthauza kuti munthuyo alibe chidwi mwa inu kapena kuti akufuna kuti muleke kulankhula naye. Nthaŵi zina anthu amangokhala kuti akuganiza zina chabe, kapenanso nawo amachita manyazi monga inuyo. Zikatero, ndibwino kum’patsa mpata munthuyo kuti akhale kaye womasuka nanu.

● Yesani kucheza ndi achikulire. Nthaŵi zina achikulire, makamaka Akristu achidziŵitso amamvetsa kwambiri vuto la achinyamata amene akulimbana ndi manyazi. Choncho osachita mantha kucheza ndi anthu achikulire. Kate anati: “Ndimakhala womasuka ndikakhala ndi achikulire chifukwa ndimadziŵa kuti iwo sangandiseke, kunditonza kapena kundipanikiza monga momwe angachitire anzanga amsinkhu wanga.”

Kusonkhezeredwa ndi Chikondi

Ngakhale kuti malingaliro ameneŵa angathandize, palibe njira yosavuta yothetsera manyazi. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, mudzapeza kuti vutoli silitha mwakungochita zinthu mochangamuka. Nkhani yagona pakuti, “uzikonda mnzako monga udzikonda wekha.” (Yakobo 2:8) Inde, phunzirani kusamala za anthu ena, makamaka abale ndi alongo anu achikristu. (Agalatiya 6:10) Ngati muli ndi chikondi chenicheni mumtima mwanu, mudzagonjetsa mantha ndi kumangika ndipo mudzakhala womasuka kucheza ndi anthu ena. Monga Yesu ananenera, “mkamwa mungolankhula mwa kusefuka kwake kwa mtima.”—Mateyu 12:34.

Barry amene watchulidwa poyambirira paja, anati: “Pamene ndidziŵana ndi anthu ena, m’pamenenso kulankhulana nawo kumakhala kosavuta kwa ine.” M’kunena kwina, mukamayesayesa kukhala wochezeka m’pamenenso kudzakhala kosavuta kutero. Ndipo pamene mupeza mabwenzi atsopano ndi kukhala woyanjidwa ndi ena, mosakayika konse mudzaona pamapeto pake kuti simunavutike pachabe!

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 15]

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