Kodi Ndiyenera Kudziwa Zotani Zokhudza Nkhanza za Kugonana?​—Gawo 2: Zimene Mungachite Ngati Munachitidwapo Nkhanza Zotere

Kuthana ndi vuto lodziimba mlandu

Anthu ambiri amene anachitidwapo nkhanza zokhudza kugonana amachita manyazi kwambiri akaganizira zimene zinawachitikirazo. Nthawi zina amaona kuti vuto linali iwowo kuti zimenezi ziwachitikire. Chitsanzo pa nkhaniyi ndi mtsikana wina wazaka 19 dzina lake Karen, yemwe anachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana ali ndi zaka zapakati pa 6 ndi 13. Iye ananena kuti: “Vuto lalikulu limene ndikulimbana nalo ndi kudziimba mlandu. Pena ndimaganiza kuti ineyo ndi amene ndinachititsa kuti ndichitidwe nkhanzazi.”

Ngati inunso mumaganiza choncho, ganizirani mfundo zotsatirazi:

• Matupi komanso maganizo a ana amakhala kuti sanafike polakalaka zogonana. Iwo sadziwa chifukwa chake anthu amagonana, choncho amakhala kuti alibe nazo ntchito. Izi zikusonyeza kuti mwana akachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana, vuto silikhala mwanayo.

• Ana amakhulupilira kwambiri akuluakulu ndipo samadziwa ngati winawake akuwanyengerera. Izi zingapangitse kuti achitidwe nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Buku lina linanena kuti: “Anthu amene amakonda kugonana ndi ana amachitira anawo zinthu zabwino pofuna kuwanyengerera ndipo ana sangazindikire zimenezi.”—The Right to Innocence.

• Mwana akhoza kukhala ndi chilakolako chogonana pa nthawi imene akuchitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Ngati zimenezi zinakuchitikirani pa nthawi imene munkachitidwa nkhanza, musadandaule chifukwa mwachibadwa munthu amalakalaka kugonana akagwiridwa malo osayenera. Sizikusonyenza kuti inuyo munkafuna kuti zimenezi zikuchitikireni.

Yesani izi: Ganizirani mwana amene panopa ali ndi zaka zofanana ndi zimene munali nazo pa nthawi imene munachitidwa nkhanzazi. Ndiyeno dzifunseni kuti, ‘Mwanayu atachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana panopa, kodi chingakhale chilungamo kunena kuti wapangitsa ndi iyeyu?’

Karen anaganizira mfundo imeneyi pa nthawi imene ankagwira ntchito yosamalira ana atatu. Mwana wina anali wazaka pafupifupi 6 ndipo ndi zaka zimene anali nazo pa nthawi imene anayamba kuchitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Karen ananena kuti, “Ndinaona kuti mwana wotere sangadziteteze kuti asachitidwe nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Izi zinandithandiza kuzindikira kuti nanenso sindikanatha kudziteteza pa nthawiyo chifukwa ndinali mwana.”

Dziwani izi: Munthu amene anakuchitani nkhanza zokhudza kugonanayo ndi amene analakwitsa. Baibulo limati: “Zoipa za munthu woipa zidzakhala pamutu pa woipayo.”—Ezekieli 18:20.

Ubwino wouza munthu wina zomwe zinakuchitikirani

Kukambirana zokhudza nkhanza zomwe zinakuchitikirani ndi munthu wina wamkulu amene mumamudalira kungakuthandizeni kwambiri. Baibulo limati: “Bwenzi lenileni limakukonda nthawi zonse, ndipo bwenzilo ndi m’bale amene anabadwira kuti akuthandize pakagwa mavuto.”—Miyambo 17:17.

Mwina mumaopa kuuza munthu wina za nkhaniyo poganiza kuti zingakupwetekeni kwambiri komanso zingakuchititseni manyazi. Zimene zingakhale zomveka ndithu. Koma dziwani kuti kusauza munthu wina wake kungapangitsenso kuti musathandizidwe.

Mtsikana wina wazaka 23 dzina lake Janet, anazindikira kuti kuuza ena za nkhanza zomwe zinamuchitikira kunamuthandiza kwambiri. Iye anati: “Ndili mwana kwambiri, munthu wina amene ndinkadziwana naye komanso kumukhulupirira anandigwiririra. Sindinauze aliyense zimenezi kwa zaka zambiri. Koma kenako ndinauza mayi anga ndipo ndinamva bwino ngati ndatula katundu wolemera kwambiri.”

Janet amati akaganizira zimene zinamuchitikirazo, amamvetsa chifukwa chake ena zingawavute kunena zimene zinawachitikira. Iye ananena kuti: “Zimakhala zochititsa manyazi kuuza anthu kuti unachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Koma ineyo ndinaona kuti sindinkasangalala chifukwa chakuti sindinanene mwamsanga zimene zinandichitikirazo. Zikanakhala bwino ndikananena zimenezi kalekale m’malo momangozisunga mumtima.”

‘Nthawi yochira’

Munthu akachitidwa nkhanza zokhudza kugonana akhoza kuyamba kudziona mosayenera. Mwachitsanzo, akhoza kumadziona kuti alibenso tsogolo, ndi wopanda ntchito kapena kuti analengedwa kuti anthu ena azikhutilitsira zilakolako zawo zokhudza kugonana. Ngati munachitidwa nkhanza zotere, dziwani kuti inoyo ndi ‘nthawi yochira.’ (Mlaliki 3:3) Kodi n’chiyani chomwe chingakuthandizeni kuchira?

Kuphunzira Baibulo. M’Baibulo muli maganizo a Mulungu omwe ndi ‘amphamvu . . . ndipo amatha kugwetsa zinthu zozikika molimba,’ monga maganizo odziona ngati ndinu wosafunika. (2 Akorinto 10:4, 5) Mwachitsanzo, werengani komanso ganizirani malemba otsatirawa: Yesaya 41:10; Yeremiya 31:3; Malaki 3:16, 17; Luka 12:6, 7; 1 Yohane 3:19, 20.

Kupemphera. Mukayamba kudziimba mlandu kapena kuganiza kuti ndinu wosafunika, ‘muzimutulira Yehova nkhawa zanu.’ (Salimo 55:22) Mukatero Yehova adzakuthandizani.

Kuuza akulu a mumpingo. Akulu amenewa anaphunzitsidwa bwino moti amakhala “ngati malo obisalirapo mphepo ndi malo ousapo mvula yamkuntho.” (Yesaya 32:2) Mutawauza, angakuthandizeni kuti muzidziona kuti ndinu wofunika komanso kuti muzisangalala ndi moyo m’malo momangodziimba mlandu.

Kucheza ndi anthu abwino. Muziona mmene anthu omwe amatsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo amachitira zinthu ndi ena. Zimenezi zidzakuthandizani kuzindikira kuti si anthu onse omwe amachita zinthu zosonyeza ngati amakonda ena koma kwenikweni akufuna kukwaniritsa zolinga zawo zoipa.

Mwachitsanzo mtsikana wina dzina lake Tanya anazindikira kuti mfundo imeneyi ndi yoona. Kuyambira ali wamng’ono, amuna ambiri ankamuchita nkhanza zokhudza kugonana. Iye anati: “Amuna amene ndinkawakhulupirira kwambiri ndi amene ankandichitira nkhanza zokhudza kugonana.” Koma patapita nthawi, Tanya anazindikira kuti pali amuna ena amene amakukondadi kuchokera pansi pa mtima. Kodi iye anazindikira bwanji zimenezi?

Nthawi ina ankacheza kwambiri ndi banja lina lomwe linali chitsanzo chabwino pa nkhani yotsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo. Zimenezi zinamuthandiza kuzindikira kuti amuna ena ndi abwino. Iye anati: “Zimene bambo a m’banjali ankachita zinandithandiza kuona kuti si amuna onse omwe ndi ankhanza. Bambowo ankateteza akazi awo, ndipo zimenezi ndi zimene Yehova amafuna.”a—Aefeso 5:28, 29.